Title: Episode Guide - The Fall Session
Rating: R, it will have a bit of sex in this Part.
Category: Every one, but mostly Jake and Hamilton. Plus Ryder and Morgana. This fanfic is mostly centred around Lena and Will. I'm mostly a Jake and Hamilton fan but something about the idea of Will with Lena really gets me!
Disclaimer: I don't own them, except for Mr Fujiwara, Morgana, Yuka Higashi, Ken Sanigi and Madam O'Durand but I wish I did.
The Fall Session
Part Four - Fragments, Aftermath
Sunday Continued
Will's voice over: - Decisions, life changing decisions. Why is it that we always make them without really realising it? It's like one day you do something that sets off a whole chain reaction of events, that you didn't intend on happening and before you know it you're at a point of no return. Once you make a decision, once you take that first step, it's already happening and there is no turning back. No doing it over. You can try as hard as you can, you can wish and you can dream but once the balls in motion, there is no going back. Sometimes you just know that the choice you just made was a bad one but it's too late. You continue along even though you know it's the wrong path, because you still want it. You still need it to happen. Someone once said 'Be careful what you wish for.' but I think it should have been 'be careful what you want'. Especially when it involves other people, because you just might get it and find out that you can't give it back. You can't make it not have happened. What is right and what is wrong don't really count either. Lena and I shouldn't have made love, it was mistake but it happened. I made a decision, now I'm just waiting for her to get hurt. I'm waiting for the pain.
LENA
Love
When I awoke the sun was still hiding behind the clouds, and the rain was still falling outside. I rolled over onto my side, so I could look at Will, while he slept. It was dark in the room but there was enough light for me to see his face. My heart hurt as I took in the sight of his bruised and battered face but as he moved in sleep, I smiled. I had expected to feel some kind of morning after regrets/doubts, when I woke up this morning but I couldn't dredge any to the surface. All I felt was loved. I felt totally secure in my decision to have sex with Will, because I loved him and it had been beautiful. What could I possibly have to regret.
Will, chose that moment to roll over towards me, so that we were facing each other. He reached out in sleep and grabbed a hold of my waist, pulling me closer and into his arms. I must have fallen asleep then because when I awoke again later Will, was gone and the spot in the bed where he had been with me before I fell asleep was cold. He had been gone awhile. I looked around but there was no note.
I got up and put on my clothes. Hoping that Will, would return before I completed my task, so that I wouldn't have to go looking for him. I didn't want to come across as the desperate praise-seeking girl I was quickly becoming. All of a sudden, my doubt, regret free mind was filled with negative and depressing thoughts. I was becoming just like girls I usually found myself shaking my head at, in disappointment and shame. Now I too, was looking for a little reassurance from a guy. A guy who for all accounts and purposes had deserted me after a night, of what I thought had been pure bliss.
After I finished dressing, I made the bed. Sitting down on the bed, I tried to convince myself that Will, had just gone to get us some breakfast but as ten minutes, turned into twenty, and twenty into an hour. I began to get really worried, his bruised face and battered body a vivid memory. A hundred 'What ifs?' streamed through my head. What if he had some internal injury that had only just presented itself? What if he was hurt and all alone? Then as if by magic my worry became anger. He knew I was waiting, and any intelligent person would assume that I would worry about him until he returned. Almost as quick as it had come my anger disappeared, but one last 'What If?' kept swirling around my head. It had a hold of me and it wouldn't let go. What if he didn't want me any more? What if he was hiding, just waiting for me to leave, so he could return to his room without me making a scene?
WILL
Wanted
When I had fallen asleep, for the first time in forever I had felt like I belonged somewhere. I felt important and loved. Invincible even but it was all just a lie, like the calm before the storm.
When I woke up, I found myself in a panic. I looked at Lena, lying naked in my bed, in my room and I just had to get out of there. I got dressed as quickly and as quietly as I could. Then I just bailed, I didn't know what else to do but I knew that I couldn't let Lena see me freaking out. So I just ran, as fast as I could away from my dorm and away from Lena.
Only stopping when I could go no further the pain from my probably broken ribs, crippling me. I sat down by the lake under some trees and proceeded to watch the sun come up. It took me about twenty minutes to realise that I hadden't been running away from Lena at all. I had been running from my life and myself.
I had this habit that I just couldn't seem to kick. I was like a smoker with a craving. I was always biting off more than I could chew. Like trying to live my life here at Rawley Academy, while trying to continue to be a townie and hang out with all my old friends. It was impossible; I just didn't have time for everyone. So someone was always going to be left out and my townie friends didn't like my new friends. All I had to do was look at Scout and Sean together, to know that it was a lost cause but still I tried to push everyone together anyway. Then there was Caroline, a girl who was totally out of my league but I had to try to be something I wasn't. Even being myself there was my dad and I didn't want to drag Lena into that.
I knew that I wanted Lena, to be a part of my life but I also knew that it wouldn't be very fair to pull her into my cesspool of existence. My life was like a bomb just waiting to explode and all I wanted to do was to crawl inside of Lena, where it was warm and safe but it just couldn't be like that. When the bomb went off it would be Lena, who would suffer the most. Maybe I was selfish, because I knew that if I hurt her, it would be like cutting off my legs and I didn't want that kind of pain. I felt like I would die without her but I knew that in reality if I ever really hurt her, the pain would be much worse than death. I would cease to exist. Without her there would be nothing but an empty useless shell.
Oh, God. What was I going to say to Lena? Sorry we had sex, I didn't mean to. It was an accident? What? How was I going to make this okay again? I wasn't good enough for Lena, she deserved someone better. I needed to think, I had to fix it but all I could think about was how incredible it felt to be inside her. God, I didn't even use any protection. Lena, had said it was okay but what the hell did that mean? What was that? Okay? I couldn't help but think, would it ever really be okay again?
I looked at my watch; I had been gone almost two hours. Shit. Lena probably thought that I had deserted her. Well, I guess I kind of had. I stood up and hurried back to my dorm. Lena deserved more than to wake up to an empty dorm room, with no explanation. She deserved more than I could give her. Part of me wanted her to be there when I got back but a part of me also wondered how I would actually feel if she wasn't there. Shattered, was my immediate answer. Oh, God I hope she is still there.
BELLA
Bothered
I didn't sleep much on Saturday night. It could have been because Charlie wasn't home, or it could have been because I was worried about Will but in truth it was probably because Scout was sleeping on the couch downstairs. I was being genuine when I told Scout, that his presence made me feel safe. Safe from the outside world, but I still felt that I was not quite safe from him. I knew he wanted more from me than I could ever give him. Don't get me wrong I still love him but now it's confusing. I'm still not sure if it's because I want to be with him, or because I had thought he was my brother. Did I love him like a brother? I just didn't know any more.
Things were just so strange between us now. We weren't friends, and I didn't know if we would ever be friends. Things had always just been too intense between us for friendship. I guess that's what was really bothering me. If we couldn't even be friends, how would we ever really be together? I look at Jake and Hamilton, and I know they love each other but before anything else, they are each other's best friends first. Without each other, they would be completely lost.
I felt that Scout was a part of me. I just didn't know if he was the right part. I thought I might ask Hamilton to ask his dad, about a scholarship application form for me. Maybe, things would get better for Scout, and myself if we could just spend more time together. Yet even as I contemplated it, I could feel myself withdraw from the idea of spending more time with Scout. I knew that I had been avoiding Scout when I could but I couldn't seem to stop myself. Besides I really had my heart set on going to the American School of Ballet, I had to if I wanted a real chance of getting into Julliard.
I was so busy feeling sorry for myself, that I didn't hear Grace come into my room. When she spoke, she scared the crap out of me and I jumped out of bed, like a guilty child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
"Um, are you okay?" Grace asked me as I sat slowly back down on my bed.
"Yeah, you just startled me is all.' I replied, 'Are you okay? You never come into my room"
"That's because I know you hate me coming in here.' Grace sat down on the bed next to me. 'I really don't feel welcome."
"I don't hate you coming in here, I just wish you'd ask me if you could borrow my things before just taking them. Trust me you are welcome in here, I'm just glad it's you and not..." I stopped, a little lost for words.
"Scout? I thought things were getting better between the two of you. If not, I guess that explains why I could hear you tossing and turning all night long." Grace said, picking up my new lipstick and putting it into her skirt pocket. I decided not to mention her kleptomaniac habits again. Grace amazed me for two reasons. One, she was being really perceptive lately and two; I didn't think she even realised that she had taken my new lipstick. It's like it was part of her DNA or something. What belonged to me must therefore also be hers.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you awake. I just couldn't sleep, I was trying to sort everything out in my head." I said, apologising.
"Don't worry about it. Although, I did expect that if you were going to keep me awake it would have been because you and Scout were going at it like rabbits." Grace said, smiling. Man I thought she seems to know a lot about it. I Wonder? No, it's not possible. Is it? I knew she went out with lots of different guys, and I had heard that she had a bit of a reputation for being 'outgoing' and 'friendly' but I had just thought it was mostly guys talking big for their friends. However, she seemed pretty comfortable talking about sex.
"Or not, obviously. It's cool that you guys want to wait until you're sure.' Grace said, walking to the door. 'Anyway, I really just came up here to tell you that I made waffles for breakfast and that they are ready."
"Gracie?" I asked, stopping her from leaving.
"Yes?" She questioned, turning to look back at me.
"I'm sorry if I ruined your night. I'm sure you probably had a date or something; you would have rather done but thanks for sticking around. I really am sorry if I kept you awake.." I answered.
"It's okay, I couldn't sleep anyway. It's weird when Dad's not here, isn't it?" Grace said, reminding me that she was still my little sister.
"Yeah, it is. I'll be down in a minute. Save me some waffles, don't let Scout eat them all." I said, smiling as Grace left my room. I was still getting dressed, a few minutes later when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. "Yeah?" I asked.
"It's me. I was just thinking, maybe we should leave Will alone today. I just spoke to him, and I think he and Lena have some stuff that they have to deal with. So, I was thinking. Would it be okay if I hang around here for the rest of the day? I know we were going to go on that picnic, but it still hasn't stopped raining. I could help you work in the garage, until Charlie gets back, okay?" Scout inquired, through the door. All of a sudden sounding very unsure of himself.
"Sounds good. I could use the help." I replied, surprised by his newborn insecurity. Had I done that? I hoped not, I thought as I opened the door. I smiled at him and we went downstairs to eat breakfast together. Maybe, this would be the day when everything went back to normal again. Maybe.
Monday
FINN
Father
"The songs you all came up with were brilliant. I wouldn't be surprised if you all started appearing on MTV. There is definitely talent in this class room.' I looked around the classroom to make sure everyone was paying attention, before continuing. 'I want you all to start thinking about memories. Childhood memories. I want to know something that haunts you from your childhood. This will be your major assignment for the Fall Session. I want you to express yourself now, in a way that you could not back then. I'll let you know when it's due and all the other details that you will need later, but for now just consider what memories you could use for this assignment. Get to work." I signalled the end of class.
"Will, could you stay behind please." I asked, as everyone was leaving.
"What's up?" He asked, as he came over to my desk. It was almost a hysterical question, considering his appearance. He looked like he had been hit by a truck and then by a train.
"That's what I was going to ask you. Obviously somebody enjoyed using your face as his or her personal punching bag. I just want to know who it was, because if it was another student, or it occurred on school grounds there are very harsh penalties for fighting at this school." I finished my tirade.
"It wasn't a student and it occurred some where else. So no offence but I really don't want to talk about it." Will replied, gathering his belongings ready to leave.
"I'm afraid that's really too bad Will. School policy, clearly states that fighters be punished. Both parties. If you have been fighting, I need to know so I can help you when the Dean starts asking questions." I wondered what he was hiding. Generally Will, was my best student. Well-behaved and very intelligent, fighting just didn't really seem like something he would do. I waited while he sat down at the desk closest to mine.
"I haven't been fighting. What happened to me didn't occur on school property. I don't see what the big deal is. Can't you just take me at my word, when I tell you that this will be the last time he ever hits me." Will said, banging his fist hard on the top of the desk. I was surprised by Will's actions, he was a passionate boy but I had never seen him looking so raw before. To be honest he reminded me of myself at his age.
"Will, I don't want to pry into your personal life but someone obviously hit you more than once. If the Dean does happen to see you, then he will want to know who was responsible. I thought that it might be easier for you to tell me, rather than the Dean." I got up from my desk and walked over to where he was sitting. Wanting to get a better look at his face. It looked terrible and I just wanted to make sure that Will, wasn't more seriously injured than I thought.
"Fine but unless the Dean asks about my face this conversation, never happened. What I tell you stays between us. Deal?" Will asked, letting me turn his head in the light, for a better look at his swollen jaw.
"Deal, but I want the whole story, not the edited version." Will, agreed and proceeded to tell me his story. It took him twenty minutes to explain to me that his father was a ghoul. How any father could beat their child left me speechless but beating a child like Will baffled me. A smart, well-mannered, considerate and responsible child like Will was a gift. It was like winning the baby lottery. I just didn't get it. If Will, was my son I would be so proud to be his father, I couldn't imagine betraying him like his father had. "I'm sorry you had to go through that Will. Has it happened before?" I asked, praying to myself that it had been a one time occurrence but with a sinking heart I knew what his answer would be before he told me.
"It's not an uncommon action on my father's part. It was just much worse this time because I'm bigger and I actually tried defending myself. Which obviously didn't go too well but I was afraid to fight back. Not because I was afraid of his retribution but I was afraid, that once I started hitting him I wouldn't be able to stop myself from killing him. His an asshole but I don't want him dead, just the hell away from me." Will, stood up and gathered his things once again. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he thought this conversation was over.
"Will, I think you should consider going to the police about this. You can't let your father get away with hurting you like this." I said, trying to appeal to his better judgment.
"No way!" Will replied with vehemence, backing away from me.
"Why not? You don't owe him anything. He stopped being a parent, the first time he hit you.' I asked taken back by the force of his pervious response. 'I would never let anyone hurt Morgan the way he has hurt you. The one thing I have always done for her was make sure she was always safe with all of my ex-wife's new husbands."
"No, I'm sure you're right and I have no respect for him. I have even less affection for him but I do love and respect my mother, and she would be hurt the most if I was to go to the police. I won't subject her to the police hassling her because of something that happened between my father and myself.' Said Will, heading for the corridor. When he reached the door, he stopped and turned to look at me. 'Besides, you promised me, that you would keep my confidence. I trusted you. Please don't let that be another mistake on my record." And with that he was gone.
I thought about going after him but decided against it. He probably needed some space. I left Rawley Academy and headed into town. I don't know what I was doing, what I hoped to achieve. Maybe, I was hoping to see Will's dad and get a chance to teach him a lesson of my own. However, when I reached the main street of town, I realised that I didn't even know what Will's parents looked like. I should though, I thought to myself. I had vested so much of myself in Will's future at Rawley Academy, it seemed strange that I had never met his family but then again I was having enough trouble meeting my daughter after twelve years of separation. Twelve years of being told that I couldn't be a part of her life, and now she was taking over mine. Funny I thought to myself, Will and Morgana had a lot in common it would be interesting to see what would come of it and us.
SCOUT
Sibling
At lunch I sat with Jake and Hamilton, and I wondered what horrific childhood memory I could use for our English assignment. I really didn't have any. Lunch was unusually quiet today because Will, Lena, Ken, Yuko and Morgana were all M.I.A (missing in action), and all Hamilton and Jake seemed to want to do is pash each other. Which was understandable, they love each other. Plus they are both totally hot. Not that I'm that way inclined but Hamilton is a fine male specimen, as is Jake. Ha, ha, ha.
Funny, my laughing broke through the tongue-lashing that they were enjoying. "What's so funny?" Asked Jake, swatting Hamilton's hand away from her ass.
"Nothing.' I replied, smiling. 'It's just good to see you two out in public together as a couple."
"Well, hiding behind this Maple tree isn't really out in public as much as it is hiding in plain sight.' Jake said, with a smile and a wink. 'But I mean yeah, we have been lucky. All the guys seem cool with it and everything. We just don't want Hamilton's parents to see us, that's all. Hence, the Maple tree hide out."
"You don't want my parents to see us, I don't much care." Hamilton stated, going in for the arse again only to be shot down, when Jake moved away from him.
"Hamilton, you can not let your parents think your gay, when your really not. It isn't fair to them or you.' Jake said, picking up her rubbish. 'Come on. Let's go to class. We can talk about this later. Has anyone seen Will?" She asked, as an afterthought.
"Sure, he's fine. You know what he's like." I replied, thinking about how strong Will must be, not to have hit his father back.
"If it was me I would have smacked back asked questions later." Hamilton declared. It was almost what I had been thinking.
"Yeah, Will defiantly has more restraint that I do. If it were my father I would want to do some smacking of my own. Hamilton, we are late let's get to class. Scout, we'll see you later. Let Will know if he needs anything..." Jake paused.
"We are here for him." Hamilton finished.
"Sure, I'll let him know. I have a free period now, so I'll see you guys later." I replied.
"See ya later man." Hamilton continued, as the two of them headed to class.
I sat there by myself for a while and tried to think of a memory that would be suitable for my assignment but all I could think about was Bella and our relationship. It was so strange; all I had wanted for so long was for us to be together and now that we were it just didn't feel right. I suppose a whole summer thinking she was my sister had to kill some of the attraction but I just couldn't understand why now that we were together the need that I had felt for her, when we were a part was gone and all that was left in it's place was confusion.
One minute it was just like it used to be when we first met, then in a second everything changes. Saturday night and all day Sunday, everything was almost normal but there were moments where we were like strangers. Moments when we both realised that things were not the way they should be. On Sunday, while I helped Bella run the garage, I felt her pulling away from me. What really scared me was that I didn't panic, I didn't really feel anything. The girl I thought I was in love with was pulling away from me and I felt nothing. I felt neither disappointment, rejection nor anger but strangely enough I felt relief. Now I couldn't work out if I was just reacting to her or if I was really just totally confused. Was I just trying to tell myself that I loved Bella or was I lying to myself? Did I love her?
I looked at my watch; I had been sitting by myself under the tree for almost an hour. All that time and I had nothing to show for it. I got up and headed for class. Maybe, everything would be okay if we could just spend some more time together alone.
JAKE
Jumble
Class was extremely boring for the rest of the day. When school was finally over I practically bolted towards town and away from Hamilton. Don't get me wrong, I totally love him but the whole almost sex drama on Sunday, has changed things between us. Every time he touches me I melt and freeze at the same time. I'm just not ready for sex, but I want to be with him. It's just so confusing. I'm not really sure how Hamilton feels about what happened on Sunday. We have talked about having sex but we decided to wait and then on Sunday we both just kind of lost it. I enjoyed it, I came but after I felt so bad because I thought that he wanted so much more from me. More than I was ready to give him. The rest of the day was spent with the two of us avoiding each other.
We were supposed to go and see Will but he rang and told us that he was busy. It wasn't until today that we found out that his dad had hit him. I also get the idea that something has happened between him and Lena but I have not been able to pin either of them down to talk to them about it.
After leaving school I went into town to see Bella. When I arrived at the garage Charlie told me that she had gone down to the lake. Heading down to the lake, I spotted Bella on the path a head of me. "Bella, wait up." I called out, as I ran towards her.
"Hey Babe, how are you?" Bella asked, as she turned around.
"Pretty crappy actually and yourself?" I said, catching up to her.
"I'm okay, except for the whole trying to avoid Scout thing. What's your problem? Tell Dr. Banks all about it." Bella suggested, as we reached the lake. We sat on an empty bench and I thought about the best way to explain my Dilemma to Bella, without sounding like a big giant wanker.
"It's Hamilton. Well, actually it's not Hamilton it's me. We talked, we both decided no, and then it kind of just happened. We both got there if you know what I mean but technically I'm still the big V. Now I don't know what's going on. I don't know how Hamilton feels but I know that I'm not ready. I guess my problem is what if Hamilton is?" I blurted out.
"Are we talking about sex because if we're not, I've got no idea what you are talking about." Bella inquired, shaking her head at me.
"Yeah, I'm talking about sex. You know the universal question, to do it or not to do it? It's so silly, I love him, I want him but I'm so scared of having sex with him. It's like I'm scared it's going to change everything." I told her, doing a bit of head shaking of my own. "I mean just look at what almost having sex has done to me, it's turned me into a raving crazy person and now I don't know how to talk to Hamilton about it. Which I guess is the real problem. I've never had a problem sharing and talking to Hamilton about anything before. I'm sure he thinks I've lost it, I practically ran away from him toady after class." I finished, looking helpless.
Bella looked at me for a minute before saying, "Look I'm not really clear on what happened between the two of you but I think you're talking to the wrong person about it. The one person that you're busy running away from is the one that you should be talking to. Things are just going to continue to become weird between the two of you, if you don't talk to each other and clear the air."
"I know that you're right but I'm still a little scared. What if this totally stuffs things up between us?" I asked, on the verge of tears. This was crazy, I never cried. What the hell was wrong with me?
"Look, everything will work out fine, of that I'm sure. Just think about the other big dramas that you and Hamilton have been through, a little misunderstanding about something to do with sex is nothing compared to you pretending to be a boy and Hamilton thinking he's gay. Promise me that you will talk to him." Bella finished, making me feel somewhat better.
"Okay, I promise but when the time is right. Thanks for saving me from having a complete melt down." I said.
"What are friends for?" Bella answered, with a cheeky smile on her face and proceeded to push me in the lake fully clothed. I came up spluttering, accepting the hand she offered me I pulled her into the lake with me. Laughing, shaking and dripping wet we headed back to town. As I said goodbye to Bella, I promised myself that I would talk to Hamilton about what had happened between us, just as soon as the time was right.
HAMILTON
Heart
After class I saw Will, heading for the dorms. I called out to stop him but I guess he didn't hear me, because he kept going. I managed to catch up with him at his dorm room. Knocking on the door I thought about what I wanted to say. It was weird; I was so use to having most of my serious conversations with Jake but after watching her practically run away from me after class; I figured I needed back up of the male variety. One thing was for sure if one more person ran away from me today I was going to end up with a complex.
"Come in...' I heard Will call through the door. Opening the door I saw Will, with his back to me shove what looked like female underwear under his pillow. 'Oh, Hey Hamilton, what can I do for you?" Will asked acting like nothing had happened.
"Hey, I just wanted to have a chat but if you're busy I can come back later.' I suggested. 'Oh, my god Will; are you okay?" I asked shocked at the extent of the bruising on Will's face. I had seen him in class earlier but I hadden't spoken to him and seeing him up close like this I felt extremely silly coming here to discuss my love life.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing really. Now what did you want to chat about?" Will asked, silently urging me to forget his bruises.
"Jake, we kind of almost had sex on Sunday and now we're both freaking out about it." I said, hoping for some of his infamous insight.
"Must have had something to do with the rain." Will muttered to himself.
"What?" I asked, extremely curious because Jake thought something had happened between Lena and Will on the Weekend.
"I don't know that I'm really the best person to talk to about this." Will replied, sitting down on his bed indicating that I should do the same.
"I don't have anyone else to talk to about it. Scout is still a little weird when I talk about Jake and I, and I don't know how to approach Jake about it because she keeps running away." I said, sitting on Scout's bed.
"Okay, I will try and help you but I think you should know something first before you consider taking any of my love life advice. On the weekend Lena and I made love and then afterwards I got up to go for a walk and clear my head. I didn't realise it at the time but I had been gone for about two hours, leaving Lena to wake up in my bed alone, wondering what the hell was going on. When I got back here she had already left and I haven't had a chance to speak to her yet and as far as I know she probably thinks that I just used her. I wouldn't be surprised if she hates me." Will finished, shocking me once again. Out of all the things that he could have told me it was the last thing I would have thought, would come out of his mouth.
"Well,' I said, not really knowing what else to say. 'I think that you should really try to talk to her about it. Lena's a pretty smart girl, she must know that you would never hurt her that way deliberately."
"Thanks but I thought I was supposed to be giving you advice. You should probably tell me what I'm advising on because you were pretty vague before. What do you mean you kind of almost had sex?" Will asked, a puzzled look on his face.
"Well, we have talked about having sex before and we both decided that it would be best if we waited a little longer but on Sunday we kind of got a little carried away." I told him.
"Carried away how?" Will asked. He looked like he was in pain so I decided to cut straight to the chase and just come right out with it.
"We...ahh, we dry humped each other, you know when you have clothes on and you kind of just rub against each other..." I answered, feeling extremely uncomfortable.
"I get it!' Will practically shouted. 'I don't think I need all the details. I think basically that you need to follow your own advice. You and Jake have to talk about what happened or else this whole thing is just going to blow up into a much bigger deal than it really is."
"Do you think I should give her some space first?" I asked getting up from Scout's bed and walking to the window.
"My guess is that when she ran from you earlier she was headed into town to talk to Bella. If it was me I might give her a couple of hours but then I would talk to her.' Will answered, sighing he dragged his left hand down his face and walked over to where I was standing. 'Just talk to her Hamilton and soon, don't leave it too long."
"I won't thanks man for listening. I'm sorry to bring this shit to you today of all days when clearly you have enough of your own crap to worry about. If you need to talk about Lena or your Dad, I'm here for you man. We all are." I said, hugging him quickly before heading to the door.
"I know you are that's what makes all this shit bearable. I'm going to be okay but thanks for the offer. I'll see you later Ham." Will said as he turned back to look out of the window.
"Yeah later man." I said heading to the dorm room that Jake and I shared hoping to find her there.
Wednesday
MORGANA
Myelocytic
With classes finished for the day I was once again bored. Don't get me wrong I had made some great new friends but they seemed to all be very hard to found lately. I was trying not to take it personally as there was obviously something going on between Jake and Hamilton that they were having trouble dealing with. I decided a trip to the fourth floor lounge was a good idea. It was a little room tucked behind the stairs and if it weren't for Will, I would have never even known it was there. Settling into a big comfy over-sized armchair, I started thinking about my conversation with Ryder on Saturday night and the kiss earlier in the day.
Oh, man was that a kiss. I have never been kissed like that before it was so hot but more than that it was connected. I chuckled to myself, it sounded so silly in my head but that was exactly how I felt. Connected. I felt connected to Ryder. I haven't felt connected to anyone in such a long time. The kiss was probably part of why I was so restless on Saturday night. It was strange I felt connected to Ryder yet when I was alone with him all I wanted to do was get a way from him because he made me feel diss-connected from myself.
I had no control over my own body or mind. I wanted to touch him but I also wanted to hold him in my arms like a small child. He always looked so forlorn, like a lost little boy. He made me want to soothe all of his past hurts and make his future more free. It's a weird way to explain how I felt but it was like I was the only one who could really see who Ryder was, not even Ryder himself seemed to know who he was. I was beginning to think that he had convinced himself that he really was a bastard, not worth knowing.
I told him that I believed in him, cause I do. I just don't know if I can help him. I wasn't sure if it was worth a broken heart because mine had already been smashed to pieces by my parents and I didn't think it could handle another beating. Ryder had heartbreaker written all over him.
I was just thinking about leaving when Will came into the lounge and sat down on the chair across from me. "Guess it's not so private here anymore, since you told me about your secret hidey hole. If you want I can leave." I asked him, determined not to ask him about his bruises. I figured everyone else had probably harassed him enough as it was, I didn't want to be his next basher.
"No, that's fine. It's actually kind of nice to find someone here for once.' He responded. 'Unless you wanted to be alone?" He looked so unsure of himself that I answered quickly.
"I've had more than the recommended dosage of alone time already. Maybe we could have that discussion on what it's like to be us?" I suggested. I really wanted to pick his brain about Ryder but I decided to let him decide on the topic of conversation. I watched as he made himself more comfortable, a look of pain touched his face briefly as he shifted in his chair and I wondered if he had broken ribs to match his black eye.
"Sounds good. So who are you Morgana Le Fay? Have you come to do ill to Finn?" He asked with a grin on his face.
"So you know the story of King Arthur.' I replied. 'I mean Finn no ill will, no pun intended but he might not agree with me. I'm not sure he really wants me here."
"What about you, do you want to be here?" Will asked.
"Here is as good as any where else." I answered, not really sure where this was going.
"So do you guys get on? It's really strange we didn't even know Finn had a daughter." Will said looking at his hands; he had bruises on his knuckles. I had heard the stories about what had happened with his dad, I guess he must have hit back.
"We haven't seen each other in like twelve years. So we don't really have much of a relationship. I guess that's why I'm here but I'm not sure why I bothered. It's not like he even really wants me here." I said, looking at my own hands. I wanted another tattoo. It was a weird thought but I had it often enough to know that it was a reaction to feelings of insecurity. Like when someone is nervous and bits their nails. It was the same only when I was nervous or upset I got another tattoo. I had twelve already. My best friend back in New York Dana had once suggested that there was a connection between the number of tattoos that I have and the number of years it had been since I saw my father. I had seen him everyday for the last month or so and I still wanted another one. Most of the time I kept then well hidden except for the fairy on my back, it was my biggest one and it had hurt the most so I wore it proudly.
"Wow, twelve years is a really long time. I'm sure he wanted to see you. He said something to me earlier about how he always made sure that you were safe with all of your new step-fathers." Will said.
"He did?' I didn't think dad had even thought about me during the last twelve years, let alone checked up on me but what Will said did make some sense because dad had known about my running. 'I don't get it why didn't he ever contact me?" I wondered out aloud.
"Maybe he couldn't.' Will suggested. 'Maybe you guys should talk."
"Maybe,' I said. 'I'm not really ready yet I don't even know who Finn is, I need to wait until I do." Will started to cough and wheeze. "Are you okay?' I asked, hating that I had to ask at all. 'Maybe I should just stop bitching at least my dad never hit me."
"I'm fine.' He started to laugh.
"What?' I asked. 'What's so funny?"
"I was just thinking about how interesting our childhood memory assignments are going to be. You with your absentee father and me with mine who likes breaking my bones for fun." He was cracking up now, and he couldn't stop laughing. I found myself smiling at his cruel joke; it was true both of our childhoods had sucked.
"I guess we will have to be great friends then, after all we have so much in common." I said still smiling.
"I think so too. Thanks for not asking about what happened." Will said, getting up to leave.
"Sure, I figured you probably had enough people who cared about you. I thought I'd go for uninterested." I replied.
"I get it! They just care about me. Thanks." He said as he reached the door.
"Sure any time. Let's talk again soon Okay?" I asked.
"Okay." He answered.
"Will before you go what can you tell me about Ryder Forrest?" I asked stopping him from leaving.
"Ryder he's an enigma. I know there's more to him than what he shows everyone. I'm just not sure it's anything worth talking about. I know I don't trust him why?" Will inquired, one eyebrow raised.
"I like him. I think he's a good guy deep down. I think he's just forgotten how to be human but I really like him." I answered.
"Be careful he's been know to break hearts and yours is too good for his scrap heap." Will said.
"Thanks, I was worried about that." I said as he left. Great my prince charming was a frog.
KEN
Karma
I can't believe I'm going on a date with a girl I don't really like and who I have no wish to spend time with. I'm sure Elisha Kelly is a really nice girl but she isn't Yuko. The only upside to this whole date idea was that once Yuko realised I wasn't going to fall in love with Elisha, she would become my slave.
I was dressed and ready for my date but I had sometime to kill before I had to meet Elisha. While I waited I decided to relax, so I lay down on my bed.
"Hey there Nancy Boy, I thought you had a date?" Ryder asked as he entered our room. His hair was wet so I assumed he'd just had a shower.
"Hey yourself you Pommy Bastard. I do have a date it's just not for another hour or so. I was wondering where you were." I said sitting up.
"I had a shower, you know I thought it was time." Ryder answered.
"I haven't see much of you lately where have you been?" I asked.
"Here and there, never really anywhere." Ryder answered.
"Okay, what about last Saturday night? I woke up and your were gone you got a girlfriend or something?" I questioned.
"Or something. I just went for a drive. No girlfriend. So, enough about me. Are you going to tell that little Japanese strumpet that you've got it bad for her? Or do I have to sit around and listen to you bitch and moan about it for the whole year?" Ryder asked.
"No I can't say anything. I don't want to ruin our friendship." I said.
"If you don't tell her how you feel, you're never going to get any." Ryder said.
"I know,' I moaned, shaking my head. 'But I can't risk it. She means too much to me."
"Well, I think you should go for it she seems to like you but in the mean time if Elisha offers you anything should probably take her up on it. Otherwise you my friend are going to end up the world's oldest Nancy Boy virgin." Ryder said throwing a pillow at me.
Grabbing the pillow I threw it back at him, hitting him in the head. "Stop being a prick. I know you don't really think that or you wouldn't be chasing Morgan around like a puppy dog. Before you deny it I've seen you. I've also seen you turn down at least four girls who have come on to you and from what I hear you are the biggest slut at this school. So if it's not love must be gay." I said my tongue firmly tucked in my cheek.
"I'm not gay or in love. I'm just bored of all the girls here I've already dated most of them and the one's I haven't don't interest me. Morgana is different. If you want to know, I actually think she's quite weird.' Ryder said ducking his head so I couldn't see his face but it was too late I had seen it. He was blushing. 'Well, then look at the time if you don't leave now you are going to be late for your big non-date date." He finished, determined to have the last word. I let him have it.
Grabbing my coat I said goodbye and left. I took Elisha to the movies hoping that I wouldn't have to talk to her much but it turns out she's a movie talker. You know the type has a comment or question about everything. The really strange thing was I had a really good time if it wasn't for the fact that I'm already in love with Yuko, Elisha would make a great girlfriend.
As our date neared to an end I began to feel bad. I liked this girl and it felt wrong using her like this so I owned up. I told her the truth. She actually thought that it was kind of funny. Walking her to her dorm I asked if we could be friends.
"I hope so,' she said. 'I had a really good time. Maybe we could just hang out together sometime." I left her wondering what I was going to tell Yuko. I guess this meant that I lost the bet. Or rather I won it depending how you look at it.
RYDER
Rebel
It was crazy in just a week Ken and I had become friends. He trusted me, I had become his confidant and it was a heady rush of power. I had never really had a friend before and most of the time I had no idea how to act. Sharing a room made it difficult but I had become the facade a long time ago. I didn't even know what was really me and what was an act anymore. I understood why Ken couldn't tell Yuko how he felt. He said it was because he didn't want to lose her friendship and I'm sure that was a part of it but it was also because he didn't want to expose himself to her. It would give her too much power over him. It would give her the power to hurt him and that I understood. I was only just beginning to realise that I had been hiding for a really long time. I had been hiding because I didn't want to get hurt. I'd been there done that. I acted like I hated this place but if I was honest I would have to admit to myself that if it wasn't for this place I would still be a broken little boy.
I had gone to bed on Saturday night freaked out. Morgana had shocked me twice in one day. First she had kissed me in the hall and then she had revealed that she knew my real name. The name I used to have before my mother remarried. The kiss was unlike anything else I had ever experienced. I'd kissed a lot of girls but none of them as bold as Morgana and none of them had affected me the way she did. I lay awake for most of the night. I kept thinking about everything that had happened on Saturday. Morgana confused me, one minute she was all hot and welcoming in my arms and then she was trying to run away from me. It was strange she was unlike anyone I had ever met before but I felt like she knew me. It both frightened and excited me. I had been alone for such a long time that I unsure I wanted her to get close to me but then I wasn't even sure if she wanted to get close to me.
I'd had the room to myself all evening but I was beginning to feel claustrophobic. I had to get out. I had to escape. I didn't know what I was running from but I needed some fresh air, so I decided to go for a run. Not really my style but I felt the urge to make my muscles burn and since there was not hot eager babe lingering outside my door a run would have to suffice.
I ran down by the lake and as I ran I thought about how Ken and I teased each other. If anyone else had tried to call me queer I probably would have bashed him but I knew he was only joking. Deep down I didn't really find the label offensive, I knew that I made jokes about Jake and Hamilton but that was more about trying to bug them then to hurt them. Not that I'd ever tell them. If someone asked me why I had chosen to torment Jake and Hamilton, I wouldn't be able to answer them because I didn't know. The best I could come up with was that their reactions were amusing. To be completely candid even I had to admit that Hamilton was valid in his choice of lover, there was something about Jake. Something attractive.
Puffed I bent over at the waist laughing at myself. I really was beginning to lose it. Taking big gulps of air I felt the tightness in my chest fade. My breathing was almost back to normal when I felt something solid collide with me. I ended up sprawled out on my arse with something heavy and human shaped draped across my lap. "Are you okay?" I asked, trying to catch my breath once again. The force of impact had knocked the air right out of me.
"Ryder? Is that you?" Morgana's voice came from the weight on my legs.
"Yes it's me. We seem to be attracted to one another. I mean...we keep running into each other." I said, glad that it was dark and that she couldn't see my face.
"I'd say the first was correct. We are attracted to one another.' Morgana whispered. I felt her shift her weight and then I felt her hands follow my arms up to my neck until she had both of her hands firmly clasped on either side of my face. I froze as I felt her lean closer to me, the apex of her thighs met with my quickly hardening penis. I seemed to have no control when she was around. I felt her breath against my neck just before she spoke. 'You know we really should stop meeting like this." She said, as her lips met mine.
A bit slow on the up take, I realised that I had my lips firmly clamped together when I felt her tongue try to slip in between them. I could feel her as she started to pull away panicked I grabbed in the dark for her shoulders. Hoping to meet with her lips and not her nose I brought her back to me opening my mouth over hers. I cupped my right hand behind her head, holding her to me. The kiss started slowly but it heated up fast and I shivered as I felt her hand snake under my Singlet. She touched me tentatively at first but then as her tongue grew bolder so did her hands. Moaning her name I began to rock her against me. We were touching everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
Last time we kissed she pulled away from me but this time it was me who pulled away. I had to stop because I was losing control and I didn't do that. "Well," was all I could say when I finally got myself under control.
"Yeah well...' Morgana replied. 'Now what?" She asked moving off my lap to stand.
"We could go on a date. I think that's what is supposed to come next." I suggested, standing up I brushed off my track pants. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness and I could just make out Morgana's face. She was frowning.
"I don't think that's a very good idea." Morgana replied moving further away from me.
"I don't understand? You just kissed me." I said, confused. I didn't get her at all.
"I know but I don't trust you. I think deep down that you are one of the good guys but you don't trust yourself. So I can't trust you but we'll see." Morgana answered before turning and running back the way she came. I couldn't believe it she had done it again. She had run away from me. Literally. I watched her until I couldn't see her anymore then I went back to my room. She had spoken like things might workout for us eventually but I wouldn't be asking her out again. I'd rather be dead. Actually that's how I kind of felt numb, dead inside once more. I felt like someone had extinguished my flame, I felt cold and I knew I couldn't let her do this to me again.
Friday
YUKO
Yen
It's been two days since Ken's date with Elisha and he hadden't spoken a word to me. For all I knew they were already in love. I had hoped to talk to him before class but when I got to class he was already sitting with her and they looked very cosy. It hurt me to see Ken with someone else watching them laugh together bruised me internally.
I was so busy mourning the loss of my one true love that I didn't realise that Finn was talking to me.
"Yuko?" Finn questioned.
"Sorry?' I replied, 'I didn't hear you." For a moment it looked like he was going to say something about my lack of attention but he didn't.
"I just asked you if you could share a memory from you childhood with the rest of the class?" Finn inquired.
"Ummm okay. When I was six I broke my leg. I fell off my bike. In Japan we have open drains along the side of some roads and I fell into one of them on my bike. I don't remember it hurting but it must have I just don't remember any pain. What I do remember is spending the summer with my best friend and I remember thinking that I had never had as much fun as I did that summer." I looked at Ken I was surprised to see him staring back at me. I turned to look away but he smiled at me and I couldn't turn away from him. Finn was saying something else but it wasn't to me it was to the whole class. I zoned out and before I knew it class was over.
"Hey,' Ken said standing in front of me. 'Nice story."
"I thought so." I was dying to ask about his date but I had promised myself earlier that I wouldn't.
"So slave are you ready to get started on your payment for a bet lost." Ken asked, with another one of his perfect smiles.
"What are you talking about? I saw you sitting with Elisha." I said, unsure of what he was saying.
"So I was. She's a great girl but she's not my type, so we decided to be friends. I guess that means you lose our bet. So I was thinking my slave that we could have lunch together and then tomorrow you can show me how to make Chicken Tasuage. What do you say?" Ken asked.
I couldn't believe it he didn't love her, maybe there was still a chance for us. He wanted to spend time with me that had to be a good sign. "Yes" I replied.
"Yes what?" Ken pushed, still smiling.
"Yes Master" I answered laughing.
"That's better now shall we go?" He asked, holding out his hand. I put my hand in his and I felt like we were almost back to the way we used to be. I decided then that if nothing ever happened between us that I could live with that as long as we were still friends.
FINN
Found
"Morgan, could you please stay behind?" I asked at the end of class. I didn't know what I hoped to achieve but I thought it was about time we locked horns again. She didn't look too happy at my request but she didn't say no. As the rest of my class rushed out of the classroom I waited for my daughter to join me at my desk. I watched as she came and sat on the edge of my desk. I felt my blood boiling when I noticed another tattoo on the inside of her right wrist. It was a tattoo of a daisy chain. She was too young to have two tattoos I wondered if she had more.
"Do you have any other tattoos besides the fairy and the daisy chain?" I asked her between clenched teeth.
"I don't think I should answer that Finn because you might get your panties in a twist." She replied crossing her arms.
"Dad" I said my blood way past boiling it was evaporating.
"Dad what?" She asked.
"Call me Dad not Finn. How many Morgan?" I practically growled.
"Fine Dad, I have a couple alright? Mum told me you had one. Do you still have it?" She asked looking truly interested in my answer.
"Yes, I still have it." I replied reluctantly.
"What is it?" Morgan asked.
"A snake but I was young and stupid when I got it." I answered.
"Yeah me too.' Morgan said as she lifted her skirt to show me the inside of her upper left thigh. The snake was identical to mine, same placement, same everything. 'I found a photo that mum had. I got it done on my sixteenth birthday, just like you." Morgan continued, pulling her skirt back down.
"Why did you do it?" I asked.
"To feel closer to a father I never really knew, to rebel or because I wanted to? Why did you get yours?" She asked.
"My girlfriend at the time and myself wanted to cement our love. We wanted to make it immortal in ink because we were too young to get married, and too dumb to realise that nothing last forever. We got the snake because I put my foot down about getting a heart, I thought a snake would be manly." I finished, looking at my daughter really looking at her.
"But you still have it. So it must mean something to you still." Morgan said.
It did, I still loved Susanna and I always would. She was my first love but I kept it for another reason as a reminder that love is painful. "It does but it doesn't mean the same things anymore. Will you tell me how many you have?" I asked.
"I have twelve, well actually it's more like twenty both of my feet are covered in butterflies but I count each foot as one tattoo. Look Dad if I don't go now I'm not going to get any lunch. Can we talk later?" Morgan asked as she slid off my desk.
"Sure Maybe this weekend if you're free?" I answered. Watching her walk away from me, I thought about her tattoos. Twelve tattoos and twelve years we had been apart, I wondered if there was any connection.
Saturday
WILL
Weary
I was a chicken, no doubt about it. It was Saturday and almost a week had gone by since Lena and I made love. I had been hiding from her all week. I knew I had to talk to her but I didn't know what I was going to say. How do you tell someone you really care about that you never want to see them again? How do you tell them that the best night of your life was also the worst night of your life?
I didn't want to hurt Lena but I knew that I already had. I was a snake for leaving her to wake up alone. When I got back to my dorm and I realised that she had left, I felt a pain unlike anything my father had ever inflicted upon me with his fists. I had no idea how I was going to make things right with Lena because even if she allows me to talk to her, I'm just going to hurt her again by telling her that we can never be together again. I have to tell her that what we did was a mistake. I thought about writing her a letter but that would have been too cruel.
I spent hours and hours thinking about how I would explain myself to Lena without hurting her. I kept replaying different scenarios in my head of how it might turn out. There was one where she cried, one where she was mad an she threw things at me but my favourite one was where she kissed me and told me that she didn't care about my past or the future. It finished with her making love to me again.
I had been thinking about it and reliving it all week and she had made love to me. It was the first time I had ever truly felt loved. I knew my mother loved me and my friends cared about me but this was something completely different, something totally new. Something all my own.
I kept trying to concentrate on what I was going to say to Lena when I saw her but all I could think about was how she touched me, even before when made love. Her hands were so soft and her touch was so tender as she cared for my injuries and after when she touched me with those same silky hands in passion.
I could almost come just thinking about them. I felt myself getting hard it was becoming a habit every time I thought about that night I got hard. Every time I thought about Lena I got hard. I had spent all week having cold showers and when it got too much jacking off.
I had tried to make out that it was no big deal. We made love, who cares? It was no good, I couldn't it was special. It was my first time. It was her first time, I was the only guy she had ever let touch her to way I had touched her and I wanted it to stay that way. Deep down somewhere inside I wanted to be Lena's first and only. The thought of another guy touching her the way I touched her and in the places I touched her made me want to hit something.
I tried to make myself believe that it was great sex and nothing else but I knew I didn't really believe it. I was in love with Lena and worse was that I had told her so when I thought she was asleep only to realise that she was still awake. She told me she loved me too and it felt like she did at the time but I couldn't let myself believe that it could last. When she realises who I really am and where I come from and that I have nothing to offer her, she will realise that she doesn't really love me or if she does, it won't be enough.
Just as I thought I had gathered enough courage to face Lena, I heard a knock at my door. I knew it was Lena even before I answered the door. I had left a message with Lena's roommate Yuko, asking Lena if we could get together and talk. When I opened the door and saw Lena standing there I forgot who I was and what I wanted to say.
All I wanted to do was kiss her.
LENA
Livid
I don't know who was more surprised Will or I but when he opened the door, he reached out in to the hall grabbed me by the hand and pulled me inside. Before I could say anything he had me up against the door and he was kissing me. For a moment I forgot that I was furious with him and I let him have his way. This is what I had expected to wake up to on Sunday; it's what I wanted to happen. I put my hands on his back and slid them under his shirt. I wanted to feel his skin, but his shirt was too tight and I couldn't get what I wanted. It was when I started to unbutton his shirt that I realised what I was doing and stopped myself. I pushed him a way from me.
"Don't you touch me again,' I said, having trouble breathing. 'Not until you apologise to me. I am not some sex doll you can pull out and play with whenever you feel like it."
"I don't think that, you don't understand I just...' Will turned and walked a way from me. I wondered if he needed the distance as much as I did, even though I was pissed at him all I wanted was for him to hold me. God what a spaz, I really needed to be medicated. This guy had actually left me, ignored me for a week and then just mauled me like I was his property and all I wanted was for him to do it all over again.
"I don't think of you that way. I really care about you but this is all wrong." Will admitted, sitting down on his bed.
"Well, thanks a lot!' I said in reply. 'You really know how to make a girl feel good." I thought about going to sit next to him no the bed but thought better of it, instead choosing to lean against the door.
"That's my point exactly.' Answered Will. 'All I'm going to do is hurt you and the sooner you get away from me the better off you will be. I think you should know that last weekend, when we made love it was the most important thing that has ever happened to me in my life but I think it was a mistake and I think you should leave now."
I couldn't believe what he was saying. I moved so that I was standing in front of him, putting my hands on his shoulders I pushed him so that he was lying on his back on the bed. Climbing on top of him, I sat down on his lap so that he couldn't move.
"You can't push me away that easily.' I said with a smile. I watched as he shook his head at me. 'You can't push me away, you need me and I need you."
I leaned forward so that I could unbutton his shirt. Only ten minutes ago taking his shirt off seemed like such a bad idea but now it felt so right. Will just watched me as I pulled his shirt from his pants. "Sit up." I ordered him, watching as he did as I asked. When his shirt was gone, I smiled at him. Moving before he could realise what I was going to do, I sat forward and licked his left nipple. Biting it once lightly, I then licked it again. Bestowing the same treatment on his right nipple, I had to bite my lip to keep myself from laughing when I heard him moaning.
Sitting up again I decided it was truth time. "Will?"
"Yes, I..." He answered, clearly confused as to why I had stopped.
"You just told me that being with me was a mistake. I want to be clear, is it a mistake when I do this?" I asked, as I leaned forward once again. Brushing my lips against his I waited until he opened his mouth to answer me. Taking advantage I used the opportunity to deepen the kiss. After a moment of hesitation Will was kissing me back just as passionately as before.
Pulling back I couldn't stop myself from smiling, he was so cute. "Well?' I asked. 'Was that a mistake?"
"I...guess" Will answered, looking even more confused now. Not giving him a second to start analysing everything I kissed him again. Thrusting my tongue against his I pulled him against me. I had way too many clothes on for this conversation, breaking contact for just a second I ripped off my dress. Sitting back down on his lap I felt his cock harden.
Looking down I watched as Will lifted his hands to caress my breasts. "Is this a mistake?" I asked moaning, when he leaned up to take one of my nipples in his mouth. Shaking his head he cupped my ass pulling me closer to his hard dick. There was something else I had to say before we went too much further but when I felt Will slip his hand under the elastic of my underwear and start to pull them off I completely forgot what it was. Reaching for his belt I returned the favour.
Before I knew it he was inside me, using his legs Will rolled me over until I was on my back. Wrapping my legs around his waist I tried to keep him inside me but he was too strong for me. Pulling almost the whole way out he thrust back in hard and deep. I felt a tingle that started in my toes and began to travel up my legs to where my body began. Moaning I dragged my nails up his flank. Grabbing his head I pulled him down for a kiss, my body on the verge of explosion. Just before I reached my climax, I realised that it felt different this time, stronger and more real.
When I could breathe again I tried to speak but I couldn't. I felt so complete lying in Will's arms but before I could voice my thoughts he rolled away from me. "Will?" I asked, as he started to put on his clothes. He was kind of scaring me.
"I'm sorry Lena." He said pulling his jeans on. Yep, he was scaring me. I didn't know how to stop him from pulling away from me. I decided to try the direct approach.
"Will, do you love me?" I closed my eyes but then I forced myself to open them I needed to see his face when he told me his answer.
"I... You know that I do but that doesn't change the fact that I'm no good for you." Will replied.
"I love you too.' I declared, wrapping my arms around his waist and holding him close against my warm naked body. 'I will never leave you and I will never hurt you." I whispered. I felt him release a breath he had been holding. Will turned in my arms and held me close, right before he tightened his grip I saw a tear slip from his good eye. Kissing him on the chest I made a promise to myself never to break my whispered vow. I would help him learn how to trust in my love for him.
Will's voice over:- The Aftermath. It's what's left behind when things change. You can't go back no matter how much you want to and sometimes you shouldn't try. Life happens the way it happens for a reason. Call it fate or kismet but no matter what you believe there is a plan for all of us. Fragments of everything we do, every choice and every action all contribute to what happens in the future. I don't know if giving into my weakness for Lena will be my downfall or my crowning glory but one thing I do know, from now on it's all about the aftermath.