Title: Kirei...
Author: Gloomy Bumblebee
Genre: Shounen-Ai
Subgenre: Angst/Romance
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: DaisukexKrad
Summary: Satoshi Hiwatari once lost control. Who could have imagined that such unexpected consequences would take place?
A/N: Ne, I just HAD to do this. I don't know why, but I have a thing with non-cannon pairings. Kami-sama help me... By the way, 'kirei' means beautiful.
Note: -italics- Dark's thoughts.
'italics' Daisuke's thoughts.
/italics/ Krad's thoughts.
(italics) Satoshi's thoughts.

-o-

Kirei...
Chapter 1: Lose control.



-I'm telling you, Dai-chan, creepy boy has been acting pretty strange as of lately...- The phantom thief, Dark Mousy, was talking to his host as the boy that carried his DNA walked to Satoshi Hiwatari's apartment. -You shouldn't be near him, you don't know what he, or the beast within him could do to you,- the thief warned him, but the boy took no heed of his friend's advice.

'Nothing bad is going to happen to me, Dark,' the boy replied in a bored voice. For some odd reason, Dark was always worried about him when he and Satoshi met. Of course, Daisuke was perfectly aware of how dangerous Krad could be, but Satoshi knew how to control himself. If he felt the demon overpowering him and ready to make his appearance, he would alert him of the circumstances and give him time to escape. Yes, it had happened before. Still, Dark didn't seem to get accustomed to these situations and so, Daisuke had to bear with his warnings like he was doing at the time.

-Be careful, Daisuke,- he pleaded once they had reached the boy's home. -Please, don't take too long; hand him his homework and leave.- Daisuke snickered to himself as he ringed the bell. 'Seriously, Dark, you get into more trouble than I do; I can't understand how you can be so worried. And besides, you're here with me, if Krad appears you can take my place and get away from him. I trust you.' That did the trick. Dark felt now happy in his arrogant mood and kept to himself as Satoshi opened the door and greeted his friend.

"Niwa-kun, konnichiwa!" he said as he let Daisuke enter his home. He was wearing faded pyjamas and his hair looked tousled; it seemed as if he'd just woken up.

"Hiwatari-kun, did I interrupt your sleep?" Daisuke asked politely, to what the blue-haired teen shook his head. "Yokatta... ne, I brought you today's homework," he said, taking a couple of sheets from his backpack. Hiwatari closed the door behind them and walked to the living-room with Daisuke, where they sat on the couches to talk.

"I'm sorry to ask, but..." Daisuke was looking at his friend with worried eyes. Now that the boy was close to him, he could see grey bags under his eyes and a sad look to them. "You don't look very well, Hiwatari-kun, is anything wrong?"

"Everything is," said the tired-looking boy between sighs. He was running a shaking hand through his already messy hair, looking the most vulnerable Daisuke had ever seen him. Turning to look at his friend, Hiwatari smiled. "Ever since I met you," he said, "I have lived a life of chaos and disappointment. I haven't met true happiness, Niwa-kun, and yet I'm forced to endure more pain and despair." Those last words he spoke them through an unsteady voice, tears leaking from his eyes as he sobbed silently.

Daisuke was rooted to the spot, feeling sad and guilty for what the boy had told him. Because of him, Hiwatari was miserable; because of the being that lived inside his body, because of his friend, Dark. And there was nothing he could do to change the way things were. He didn't want Dark to disappear and that would be the only solution to Hiwatari's problem. There wasn't a single thing he could do except being there for his friend. Daisuke hesitatingly circled his arms around Hiwatari's shoulders, embracing him, but the boy violently pushed his arms away.

"Don't touch me!" Hiwatari protested between angry sobs, the tears falling into the floor, staining the blue carpet under the boy's feet. He was shaking now, looking paler than he'd ever been. A rosy tint had risen to his cheeks, making him look sick. Suddenly feeling heavy, he sat back on the couch and tried to calm down. In a quieter voice, he apologised to Daisuke, "I'm sorry, Niwa-kun, I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay," Daisuke replied. He was extremely worried for his friend, but he wasn't sure if he should get close to him or not. He just sat back on the couch, as far away from his friend as he could be. Silence wrapped them both for a few minutes in which Daisuke had gone quite uncomfortable. He wanted to know what had happened to Hiwatari to make him so depressed, but he didn't want to push him; he wasn't sure of how he could react.

The blue-haired boy might have read his friend's mind, for he started telling him what was wrong. "Father kicked me out of the police forces," he said, "he realised I was never going to catch Dark..." he snorted bitterly after having said that. Daisuke still didn't know what to say. Somewhere deep inside of him he was a little confused at his choice of words. How could his father have 'realised' he 'wasn't going to catch Dark'? It just seemed odd, as if Hiwatari had a reason for not wanting to catch the thief. 'Dark-kun... should I ask?' The thief remained silent for a moment; he was unsure of what to say. He had heard every bit of conversation the two boys had and was just as surprised and confused as Daisuke was. He wanted to know more than anyone else exactly what was going on behind Hiwatari's decision, but he knew better than to push him. -No,- he told his tamer before fading away, back into the deep recesses of his mind -give him time, Dai-chan, he'll tell you eventually.-

"I'm left to my own devices now, Niwa-kun," Hiwatari had started spoken again. "I have no one to trust and no one to care for me," he added, ignoring the cold voice in his mind that told him otherwise. "And do you know what makes this even worse?" Daisuke shook his head with uncertainty. "That all of this is my fault. I've decided not to catch Dark and I have a reason for it, too. My father found out about it... he said he didn't want to see me anymore." Sobbing silently, trying to fight back the overflow of tears, he smiled as he added, "that doesn't bother me, Niwa-kun, on the contrary. He's a complete idiot, I'm better off without him. What does bother me..." he said with doubt evident in his voice, "is what he said to me, how cruel he'd been when he found out."

"What did he do?" inquired Daisuke.

"He..." Hiwatari shook his head, "it's nothing, never mind. The only thing important is that he found out about the reason why of my decision and abandoned me. I've been abandoned for the second time in my life," he explained unwillingly, releasing the tears that had been struggling to flow. "And all because of a stupid weakness; a decision I could not deny myself."

Daisuke was nearing tears himself. He wanted nothing but to understand his friend, but that seemed impossible at the moment. He looked away, afraid of what Hiwatari would think if he could see him on the verge of tears like he was at the time. Sighing, he gathered the courage to ask; he needed to know. "Hiwatari-kun," he addressed the boy as calmly as he could manage, "what is the reason for you to stop chasing Dark?"

Hiwatari looked at him, incredibility evident on his gaze. Smirking, he moved closer to where Daisuke was sitting and asked in a eerie way that made Daisuke's neck hairs stand on end, "do you really want to know, Niwa-kun?" The redhead was unsure of what to say, but he nodded anyway. The smirk growing wider, Hiwatari cried the last tears he had left as he closed the distance between him and his friend and told him, "I fell in love with you, Niwa-kun." He was aware of the consequences of what he was going to do but he remained uncaring at the same time; surely he was allowed to lose control sometimes.

Satoshi tilted the stunned boy's chin so that his eyes would meet those of sapphire blue as he pressed his lips to the boy's. The kiss was sweet, but desperate at the same time. Daisuke was frozen, he couldn't move. All he knew was that his friend, Satoshi Hiwatari, was kissing him. He let flow the tears he had tried to fight back, as he felt an increasing feeling of guilt invade his being. Everything was his fault, not Dark's, but his. He had been the burden on Hiwatari's way from the beginning. He deserved the unbearable punishment he was getting from the boy.

Hiwatari was glued to his love's lips. He tasted every inch of pink flesh he found available, taking in the reminiscence of strawberries he found. He knew he had to let go soon, but he couldn't move. He wanted more and more of that sweet pain; he wanted the knowledge of what he could never have. He wanted to stay like that forever. But forever ended fast. As he felt the strong feeling of adoration the redhead made him feel, his DNA started to react. He had crossed the line, gone too far. He had finally lost control, something he had never done before. He hadn't been careful enough and the evil within him was going to seize the opportunity. Still, he could not take his lips away from Daisuke's.

The pain he had felt in his back from sitting in an uncomfortable position became stronger; he could feel the skin covering his shoulders rip open to reveal the pure-white wings of the one that claimed to love him. The one that hurt him the most, even more than Daisuke, was showing himself. Hiwatari was forced back in the demon's mind, already missing the lack of contact and the feelings the kiss had evoked.

Daisuke had his eyes closed; he had closed them somewhere in the middle of Hiwatari's kiss. He could still feel the other's lips in his; they seemed different, though and wondered why. He thought Hiwatari might be trying to smile or smirk, maybe he was trying to fight back a sob. Whatever the reasons were, his mouth felt different on Daisuke's. The pressure seemed weaker, somehow. It didn't matter anyway, since all the boy could feel was an increasing dizziness that soon became a glaring black veil around him. He felt nothing else.

The demon within Hiwatari had been set free. Krad opened his honey-coloured eyes in amazement. He had never felt so unsure of himself in his life and that was saying enough, considering the length of it. What surprised him the most, was that he somehow understood what he'd seen and it almost made him feel sorry for his tamer. Never before had he felt anything for him, but sick devotion. Still, he now found himself thinking of what had happened between his dear Satoshi-sama and the red-haired boy he was in love with and feeling things he had never even considered, like pity. He could shield away from Satoshi's emotions -a protective technique he'd been using for centuries to prevent this kind of situations- and it had never failed him, yet now everything was different. The boy's emotions had been so strong and desperate, the unbearable pain flowing through his body like blood coursing through his veins that his barriers had collapsed. He had been just as vulnerable as Satoshi had been, feeling the same emotions the boy had felt. It had destroyed him and it had also made him whole; more than he'd ever been or felt.

-o-

There was nothing but a feeling of emptiness. He felt as if trapped in a void, nothingness engulfing him as he heard the faraway screams of help. He wasn't sure if they came out of his mouth or someone else's, but they pierced through his body like needles. He felt helpless and empty; he couldn't even feel his limbs, it seemed as if he were fading away, like he was a shadow of himself. Nothing seemed real in this world, everything around him were ruins of what used to be. He knew he'd been there many times, but somehow the place looked different.

Thinking of himself and hearing the screams of help, pleading and desperate, he realised that place was similar to his own heart. The walls of black nothingness around him were crumbling and he was falling. Falling forever in the endless pits of sorrow, he remained silent. He didn't want to ask for help, he wanted to stop existing. He had no strength left to scream, anyway, he might as well let himself go forever. Maybe that way the pain would ease. Maybe that way he would find the peace he had never found inside himself. Maybe what he needed was to die, slowly, savouring each moment, each sense he lost. Yes, maybe that was what he needed.

Then again, like everything he had ever needed, he knew he wasn't going to get it. It didn't matter how strongly he wished to die, it would only grant him a longer life, more time to ache. Everything had always been the same, why would anything change? But something did change and would continue to change because of him. Something had ceased to be to become something completely different. Something had been done and he didn't know when or why or even how. But something was already different and he would find himself as an unwilling witness of its future changes. And the worst thing was that he already hurt because of it.

-o-

Dark emerged from Daisuke's mind with a strong feeling of uneasiness and curiosity. His sixth sense told him that something was wrong, making him worry for his tamer. He had known from the very beginning that going to Hiwatari's home had been a bad idea, but once he'd seen the boy looking sad and broken like shattered crystal he had bit back his concern. Still, those feelings of worry were coming back to him, now strongly than ever and he felt the urge to make sure everything was right.

But nothing, not even his trained sixth sense, could have ever prepared him for what he'd see when he looked through Daisuke's eyes. Nothing could have ever prepared him for the pain, jealousy and utter hatred he felt for the being before him; the one stealing his everything. Nothing could have ever prepared him for the sudden feeling of terror he felt as he screamed Daisuke's name over and over to bring the boy back to consciousness. Nothing could have ever prepared him for the ache he felt in his chest as he cried with anger and kept screaming, each time louder.

Nothing could have ever prepared him for this.

-o-

Daisuke woke up at Dark's screams. He could barely feel his limbs as he came back to life, all the while hearing his name being screamed in desperation by his beloved DNA. He tried to block out the thief's voice, but to no avail. He wanted nothing but to stop listening to the painful shrieks erupting from his friend's throat; he was beyond all that. He'd heard things he'd never heard before and that struck him ten times worse and more painfully that Dark's voice. He wanted nothing more of that; he just wanted to be with himself. But it didn't matter how hard he tried, he could still hear the screams. Sighing inwardly, he opened his eyes to reveal himself to the outside world.

Their eyes met; the both of them looking perplexed and scared at the same time. Each of them felt shivers running down their backs. The spark of what had been lost forever glared between their unbelieving gazes. Pulling apart slowly, they felt emptiness and longing. It seemed that even when they knew how wrong the situation was, they couldn't help but feel it right. It seemed that despite their different ideas and motivations, the both of them had the same needs. It seemed that even though they knew they would regret submitting to these sensations, neither could deny how much they wanted them.

Minutes stretched, longer than they'd ever been, forcing them to react. Nothing could be said, but something had to be said at the same time. It seemed the two of them were trapped in a paradox they couldn't escape from. But one thing was sure: silence needed to be broken before things could get deranged and deformed more than they already were. Silence needed to be shut.

Krad rested his tired being on the couch he'd been kneeling on, his frightened gaze never leaving that of his nemesis. The red-haired boy slowly pulled himself away from the demon, suddenly feeling calm though he remained confused. Daisuke watched as Krad touched his lips as if trying to understand what had happened to them, what the taste in them was. He watched as the blond said nothing and simply stared back at him. He watched and watched until silence was finally broken.

"Leave," was all the demon said. Not a single threat was spoken nor a single movement was made, there was only a pleading. "Leave."

Daisuke nodded weakly, he couldn't understand and he wasn't sure he wanted to. The only thing he knew and could remotely understand was that something had changed that day, something inside them had died. He couldn't speak for Krad and didn't want nor planned to do so, but he could speak for himself. And if there was something he knew was that with the breathtaking kiss he'd received, a little part of him had ceased to exist. That day, his innocence had died and he would never be the same.

-o-o-o-

Woohoo! The first chapter is finally over! I was inspired... things just flowed, it was really bizarre. I mean, usually I have to struggle to get decent descriptions and occurrences, but this time they just popped out of nowhere and forced themselves into these pages. Bizarre, I say... maybe it's the pairing... unusual, ne?
Ne, now I'd like you to review this and tell me how good/bad I've done. I think this chapter (I won't speak for the whole story) has been my darkest piece of writing up to date, but you're the judges so... judge me. Please review this!! I need to know that someone is reading it!!