Note: -italics- Dark's thoughts.
'italics' Daisuke's thoughts.
/italics/ Krad's thoughts.
-o-
Kirei...
Chapter 3: Steam.
Krad opened his eyes; he was alive. Taking a look around the room, he noticed a red, thick fog invading every inch of the room. Everything was black and red, a picture of death. He looked to his right; the candle had died as well, /and so did Satoshi,/ he added to himself. The thought made him sick, he couldn't believe his tamer had disappeared; his very core, his soul had vanished. There was nothing left, but a bitter memory and a future of loneliness.
Sure, in the past day he had learnt many things about himself; those things that helped him understand that his blind devotion for his tamer had not been true. Still, having lost Satoshi hurt him more than anything he could remember at the moment. He was alone and empty... and he had become nothing more than a human. A mere human...
Reflecting on the last thought for a moment, Krad tried to stand up, but all of his efforts had been futile. The pain had glued him to the spot on which he lay. He had no more magic, he was no longer immortal; he was just another human being. He could now experience physical pain like he had never done before; he felt helpless and vulnerable, much more than he'd ever felt. It was a blissful feeling though, it made him content; the stronger the pain, the more he alive he felt. He had, without intending to or taking part in the decision, finally been granted his wish. And even though he now had everything he ever wanted, like a body of his own and the possibility to lead a normal life, he found he could not enjoy it. He felt miserable; a part of him had died with Satoshi. He would have ended his own life then and there if he hadn't lifted the blue crystal blade and studied it, finally understanding everything.
Satoshi had lost his will to live, the only thing he had ever relied on. The only thing he had left after his father had abandoned him. His only reason to live was to love Daisuke, but after the past day's events, he had lost that as well. There was nothing worth living anymore; not for him. But he had loved Krad, or at least cared about him enough to entrust him with his only possession: his body. Krad smiled, an action that seemed alien to him; not only had Satoshi broken his curse and given him a life of his own, he had also made him remember something he had forgotten long ago. He smiled a bitter, sad smile as he let the first tears roll down his cheeks. He now remembered how to cry. Placing the blade on his chest, he closed his eyes and let tiredness overcome him, forcing him to forget about everything for a while and lulling him to sleep.
-o-
Daisuke had to go through another day of classes, even though he felt tired and sad, not to mention extremely confused. He couldn't stop thinking about Krad and what Dark had told him the previous night. To make matters worse, Hiwatari had been absent once again and he was in charge of giving him his homework. That's why he was walking to the boy's apartment that afternoon, thinking of the words to say after all that had happened. He wasn't sure he had neither the energy nor the courage to face him, but he had to endure the situation, if only for his friend's sake. Dark hadn't spoken a single word that day, not even to warn him of the dangers of meeting with Hiwatari; nothing. It was as if he ignored him, though Daisuke knew deep inside that he wasn't.
He rang the bell, expecting to hear his friend's sad voice asking for his identity. He waited a few minutes and rang again, thinking that the boy might have been busy and hadn't listened to the bell. A few more minutes passed and he grew worried, he rang again, but there was no answer. He looked at his wristwatch; he had been standing outside that door for almost twenty minutes. He knocked on the wooden surface now, hoping to make a louder noise than the bell. Still no answer.
Finally feeling desperate, Daisuke typed a trick-code in the security lock, forcing the door open. Closing the door behind him, he dashed upstairs heading for his friend's bedroom. The bed was unmade and there wasn't a single sign of life in the room. Daisuke checked the bathroom, the kitchen and inside all of the unused rooms, everywhere. Still, he hadn't found the boy.
Suddenly, a thought invaded his mind. 'What if he just left?' he asked himself, suddenly feelings silly. 'When he comes back and finds me here, breaking into his home unwanted... I have to go.'
Daisuke already had his hand on the doorknob, when Dark stopped him. -There is a room you haven't checked,- the thief told him, making him frown. 'What do you mean, Dark? I've already searched everywhere.' Sounding uncomfortable, the thief replied, -then, did you discover the secret room, the altar?-
Daisuke became silent. He had no idea there was a secret room in the apartment and he didn't know how Dark had found out about it, either. Still, that wasn't the time to ask about it. 'Where is it?' Daisuke asked as he frantically searched the walls for hidden doors. -I'm not sure,- replied the thief thoughtfully, -but It think it was near the stairs...- Daisuke walked to the wall under the stairs, feeling its surface for a secret passage. He found a small crack; pushing with all of his strength, he managed to open the secret door.
Just as he entered the room, he felt sick to the stomach. The smell of blood made it difficult to breathe and the crimson steam filling the space wouldn't let him see. He walked with uncertain step through the mist blurring his vision, falling to the ground as he tripped over something... or rather someone.
Coughing as he tried to blow the vapour away, he could make out the shape of a boy. At the sight of blond hair and blood, Daisuke lost control of his limbs, letting Dark take over his body. The thief would have gladly left the blond to rot, if it depended on him, but seeing the desperation in Daisuke's voice as he asked for answers, he decided best to help him. He took Krad by his feet and dragged him out of the altar and into the living-room, letting him rest on the carpet. The blond coughed up red smoke before coming round. When his eyes opened, they met the questioning gaze of his enemy, Dark. The thief stood before him, his arms crossed and looking murderously serious. Krad tried to get up, but he was still too weak. Dark, seeing the futile attempts of the blond at getting up, helped him.
"Thank you," he spoke weakly. Dark shrugged and helped him sit down on the couch, meanwhile bearing the screams of Daisuke, demanding to let him talk to Krad. Of course, Dark mentally denied him his request, but promised he wouldn't do anything to hurt the blond. "Why are you here?" Krad asked puzzled and surprised at the same time at having the thief in the apartment and being helpful, no less.
"Daisuke had to bring Hiwatari's homework," Dark answered coldly, frowning slightly when he saw a flicker of anguish in the blond's gaze. "What did you do to him?" he asked all of a sudden, making Krad's eyes widen in disbelief.
"What do you mean?" he asked perplexed, "I would never hurt him!" he shouted, wincing in pain as he did so. Krad clutched at his stomach, he felt his insides twisting as Dark's words sunk in, disgusting him.
"I don't believe you," Dark told him as he pulled the ritual knife from his back pocket. "You were holding this close to your chest when I found you. What is this and what happened to Hiwatari?"
Krad's eyes looked glassy as he tried to fight back the tears. "I don't know what that blade is, Dark, the only thing I know is that Satoshi vanished. He's not here anymore, but it wasn't because of me, I swear!" Dark didn't look too convinced. He let the knife fall, its crystal blade shattering into dust. Krad finally broke down as he threw himself into the small pile of dust on the ground. "What did you do that for?" he wailed as he watched the blue powder slide through his fingers. He had lost the only thing linking him to Satoshi, the blade with the boy's blood. Now he had nothing and it was all because of Dark's fault.
Suddenly enraged, feeling utter hatred towards the thief, he turned to look at him in the eye. His own gaze betrayed the sorrow and the thirst for revenge in his being. He lunged at Dark, closing his hands around the thief's neck with the only purpose of strangling him to death. He wanted nothing but to take the life out of him as if sucking out juice from an orange. He wanted the thief to suffer underneath him, he wanted to see him beg for forgiveness; he wanted to kill him in the slowest, most painful way possible.
Dark smirked while he watched the blond's hurt gaze turn to a predatory glare. "Go on, Krad," he said softly, "put me out of my misery." Krad couldn't be any happier to comply. He squeezed harder, trying to block Dark's respiratory system. "I'm sure..." Dark managed between painful gulps of oxygen, "I'm sure Daisuke would love to see this side of you..."
Krad abruptly released the thief's throat and backed away from him, covering his face in embarrassment and awe. He could not believe he had lost his composure in such a terrible way. He imagined Daisuke was thinking of him as a murderer now, his reaction to Dark's mistake backing up the thief's theory for Satoshi's death. Tears were running like rivers down the blond's cheek as he pleaded for forgiveness from the thief.
Dark stood up, weak but never erasing the smirk off his face. "Come on, Krad, beg. I'm sure that's what you wanted from me only moments ago," he hurtfully teased the blond, trying to bring him closer to his final breakdown. He didn't care about anything anymore, he just wanted to see Krad broken and miserable. "Tell me you didn't want to kill me, tell Daisuke. Tell us both you didn't want to kill Satoshi, Krad." But the blond said nothing. He remained silent, crying salty tears of despair.
"Come on, Krad," the thief choked out with venom, "show us I was wrong to believe you a murderer. Tell us what happened back in the altar!" He demanded this violently, feeling himself close to hysterics. "What happened to Satoshi, Krad? What was that blade covered in blood doing in there? How do you explain that slash in your left wrist?"
"Dark, please," he croaked weakly, losing what little dignity he had left. "I can't stand this anymore, don't do this to me, Dark..."
But the thief ignored him completely. He just turned his back and walked away, leaving the blond feeling weaker than he'd ever felt, helpless and completely alone as he thought of how much he needed someone to hold him at the time.
Daisuke, having witnessed all, kept screaming inside Dark's head for him to release him, but the latter wouldn't even answer back. Crying, frightened at having seen a side of Dark he hadn't known until then, he closed his mouth. The thief left Satoshi's apartment, walking up with a quick pace and crying silently as he made his way through the streets into the Niwa household.
When he reached home, Emiko Niwa was waiting for him. She had no idea of what had happened or what had he left to do, but seeing the dry stains of tears in the thief's face, she couldn't avoid asking him about it. "What happened, Dark? Are you alright?" she asked, feeling worried about him.
"It's nothing, Emiko," he answered unconvincingly. "Everything will be alright," he knew he was lying, but there wasn't anything else for him to do. Except maybe... "Emiko," he spoke shyly as he pushed Daisuke's conscience deep inside himself to stop him from listening. "I think... it's time we do it." It sounded incoherent, but Emiko knew perfectly well what he was referring to.
"Are you sure?" she asked hesitatingly. "It's very risky, Dark, you know the consequences." She was extremely worried, even more so than she'd been when she saw the thief's tearstained face. If Dark himself was asking her to take such desperate measures... he might be involved in something serious, she thought.
"I am, Emiko," he assured her. "We have to try, I don't care how dangerous it is."
"I need to have a body of my own, if only for a few hours."
-o-
Krad lay curled in foetal position on the floor of the apartment's living room. He couldn't think anymore, he couldn't even move; the only thing he could do was breathe. In and out, in and out, it never seemed so difficult. He felt cold as he inhaled each time; he often been referred to as cold, an ice prince, but never before had he felt as cold and fragile as he was feeling at the time. In his current state, lying motionless on the ground, he felt things he'd never felt before. For one, he felt like he had lost all will to live. Of course, he wouldn't give in to those feelings, even if it was only because of Satoshi. The boy had given him everything and he was not going to let him down, even if that ruined his life.
As the images of Satoshi's sad face invaded his mind, Krad became stronger. He would endure, he thought resolute as he struggled to get up. He was a human now, he was vulnerable and weak and had to take care of himself. Little things he'd never done before, such as eating or taking a bath, those things he had to learn how to do because his own existence now depended on them. He had to take care of himself because Satoshi would be looking at him from somewhere high above and he wouldn't be happy if he let himself fade away into nothingness. Yes, his reasoning might have seemed childish, but it was the best he could manage in his poor state. But he would endure, he had to.
He pushed himself up from the floor, suddenly feeling strong and sure about himself. He was resolute to go on living, doing the best he could to lead a normal life, like any other human would do. But before he was allowed that right, he had to organise his life. He was going to start with the basic things; he would take a shower to clean himself and clear his mind and then he would try and cook something for him to eat. And if he burnt anything, he could always dial the pizza delivery service; he'd seen Satoshi do it many times. Yes, it was time for him to start thinking positively, as clichéd as it may have sounded.
He walked to Satoshi's, no, his bedroom and took a pair of faded, loose pyjamas and a piece of underwear and headed for the bathroom. He picked a towel from the room's small cupboard and stripped off his worn-out clothes. He got inside the shower and turned on the tap; being inexperienced in such basic matters, he felt his skin burn as he realised he had released the hot water. Turning the other tap on, he regulated the water's temperature, finding comfort in the feeling of warm yet refreshing liquid running down his back and soaking his long hair.
He spotted a shelf with a few bottles and boxes. He first looked for the soap, finding it inside one of the boxes; pausing to take in the scent of almond, he proceeded to rub the soap-bar over his body, rejoicing on the feel of soft foam covering his skin. He sighed happily as he experienced for the first time what it felt to wash himself, the relaxing metaphor of cleaning oneself off the unwanted dirt as if purifying one's soul. But he had yet another task to complete: washing his hair. As he picked his ponytail to undo it, he noticed his crucifix was missing. He also noticed that the length of his hair was not the same; though still quite long, it was definitely shorter, barely reaching past his waist.
He chose the bottle of shampoo because of its scent, apple. He helped himself with a handful of the dense yet evasive substance and applied it through the roots of his hair to the ends. He scrubbed delicately, massaging his scalp in the process, feeling more and more relaxed. He spent a few minutes making sure he was clean, before he rinsed his hair off all foam. After having done so, he spent a while simply letting himself get soaked, before finally turning off both taps and stepping out of the shower. He picked up the towel he'd left hanging from the door's handle and dried himself up; even the feel of soft cotton over wet skin seemed blissful to him. Once he was completely dry, though his hair still drip-dropped, he pulled on the underwear and pyjamas and went to the kitchen.
Krad opened the fridge and found bread, cheese and frozen ramen. Having no experience in cooking, he picked out bread and cheese and prepared two sandwiches. That was his only dinner before going back to the bathroom to pick the dirty clothes and put them in the washing machine. He would have turned it on, but he was afraid he would ruin it, after all, he didn't have the faintest clue on how to use it. Instead, he decided to go to sleep. He knew it was still early -it was only eight o'clock- but he preferred things to be like that. He'd had a hard day and he was tired, his human body having reached his limit for the day. He went to bed then, twisting and turning under the covers, smelling the scent of his tamer still impregnated in the bedclothes. He had to rest, make himself stronger; the next day would be another hard day: if he wanted to settle his life, he needed to talk to Daisuke.
-o-
Emiko and Daiki stood next to Dark. The thief was lying on a wide, long wood-board, looking scared but determined. The oldest Niwa seemed unsure, but at Dark's request he would take the risk. He turned to the boiling cauldron to his left and called for her daughter to help him; the potion was ready and all they needed now was a drop of both Dark and Daisuke's blood. Dark willingly offered his index finger, slashing through the skin and letting a single drop of the sweet liquid drip onto the boiling potion. Then, taking advantage of Daisuke's state -he was asleep-, he transformed into the boy's body and reached out his arm for Emiko to delicately cut his finger enough to draw the required ingredient. Taking back his shape, Dark inhaled deeply and tried to relax.
Daiki stirred the potion clockwise seven times and counter-clockwise other three. When the ritual was over, he grabbed a spoonful of the thick-looking liquid and spilt it into a gold goblet, offering it to Dark who drowned the contents without stopping to breathe. Daiki spoke a prayer and now, after having been blessed by the pagan deities, all they could do was wait.
-o-o-o-
First: please, don't kill me for killing Satoshi! It wasn't easy for me either, I truly adore that character, but... my muse demanded me to do it. You see, my muse is the sadistic Potions Master of Hogwarts, Severus Snape. Yes, I'm a hopeless case...
Second: I really, really liked Krad's scene in the bathroom. It was nice writing about things that seem silly and unimportant to us humans from the point of view of someone who had never done them. I don't know, it was just nice... Krad discovering himself as a living being who has to take care of himself; imagine, just to take care of himself! I liked that, having a vulnerable Krad is cool.
Third: What are Daiki, Emiko and Dark doing? Read the next chapter to find out! I really hope you're liking this piece of angsty reading. I know I am; I finally managed to write something serious and dark in the fanfiction world. Yeah, outside this DNAngel/Harry Potter world, I'm kind of a pro at writing depressing stuff. Yeah, it's bizarre... but I digress.
As I was telling you, I hope you like this so far and if you do, please leave a review for me. I feed on them, I need them. I'm like a blood-sucking vampire... call me Alucard (I've been watching way too much Hellsing).
KageKitsune16: la li ho! Yes, I'm cruel. But I warned you about this. Not like with Aoi; I warned it was going to be angsty and turned out to be all funny and ridiculous. Ah, anyway, I like writing angst... it's like a sort of catharsis... never mind me babbling, just keep reading and reviewing!
Felicity Dream: here it is, I hope you like it just as much!
Staryday: it's like that: everyone loves daisuke. Funnyhow I hadn't noticed until you and 'noone' told me about it... ah, well... and, yes, Satoshi did commit (a sort of) suicide, though I'm guessing you already know about that, ne? Ah, well, ja ne!!
Yuki Haitani: darling, your fic already is amongst my favourite stories, are you kidding?? I thought you knew. Didn't I review it? Ah, well, the point is I love it. Could you, um, make it Dai/Krad? Sorry, but I love that pairing... thanks for reviewing by the way!!