Written by: Zymz
Disclaimer: Saiyuki, Gensomaden Saiyuki, Saiyuki Reload, Wild Adapter, and Bus Gamer are property of Kazuya Minekura...Yes there is a Gensomaden Saiyuki game on the GBA... No, I actually don't own a GBA and that game. This is a fanfict for crying out loud! But I do have a PS2. Yami no Matsuei is property of Matsushita Yoko.
In the corridor of my humble and extremely cheap establishment the four of them walked towards my office. Obviously Goku and Gojyo were bickering again... You could actually hear Goku shouting "Ero Kappa" at top of his lungs. Then all of the sudden sounds of Sanzo's gun shooting were the only thing I could hear. I just let out a large drop of sweat as a loud crash coming from the corridor... My, to thing that they actually have brains that not to be so 'genki' in such a shabby place like mine...
"What kind of cheapskate would work in a place like this?"
"Ma, Gojyo. Please don't offend the owner. The person in mention is writing this fanfict", Hakkai advised.
"Studio Kuroneko, Director Zymz... I guess this is the place. Sanzo, Gojyo, Hakkai! Hayaku!" Goku opened the door.
There was a moment of silence... I was playing my game of Gensomaden Saiyuki on my GBA, and I have on idea what it was saying because my Japanese was pretty lousy and I can't read kanji characters... The four of them were facing the back of my chair watching my weird silhouette against the afternoon sun.
Sanzo's allergy was acting up again... I forgot he was allergic to cats!
"I'll just wait outside..."
"No, WAIT!" I quickly unzipped my cat outfit. My, the look on their faces when they saw my Sanzo hoshi-sama's robes underneath the costume...Definitely a Sanzo fan!
"Lets just get down to business, shall we..." Sanzo, sighed. I gave out a big evil grin. Told them the rest of the selected crew hasn't arrived. Well just start anyway I handed out their script for this fanfict (with some last minute alterations) and Gojyo was the first to protest with the script, Kappas...
"What do you mean we have to do THIS fanfict! Its totally out of our division!"
Here comes my truly evil face (think of Seichiro Tatsumi on Yami no Matsuei) as I pushed up my glasses. Hakkai and Goku were already having small scribbles above their heads... Don't ask me, I'm just responsible for the fanfict. Gojyo continued to protest; Sanzo just sat there reading through the script... I guess he was satisfied with his part...Probably... Gojyo smashed my worktable down along with the script.
I took out the contract I've signed with Minekura sensei, agreeing that I would use some of her characters for this fanfict and that I have the authorization to do ANYTHING I WANT to them in this fanfict... Obviously Gojyo still was THAT stubborn. Then comes my most cruel and devastating move ever... Only to Gojyo, I've shown him an obscene pict of him and Sanzo (obviously a composite!)...Who knows what Sanzo might do to me if I showed him this pict as well.
"I'm willing to post this all over the Internet, not to mention slipping it into the next Saiyuki Reload publication if you don't cooperate. besides, you could do anything with computers these days."
"...H..Hai, nee-san..."
"Don't 'nee-san' me... I'm only 18.",I replied. It was that easy to drag them into doing my fanfict...
"Ano, I've always wanted to try something new. This is certainly something...right, Goku?" Hakkai noted. You could read through that hypocritical expression of his... My, he's mad.
"Ne, Sanzo... What's 'lingerie'. It says this character wears 'really sexy lingerie and kicks ass'..." asked Goku with a very blunt facial expression.
Sanzo didn't replied... for this is one of the things that men couldn't comprehend unless he is familiar with women... And Sanzo is VERY blank right now. Gojyo on the other hand was already broken into tears while covering his face with the script.
"There, there... Don't cry Gojyo... At least you could be your usual horny self..." Hakkai assured.
"B... bu...but this is different!!! Hakkai don't tell me your fine with this!"
"Gojyo, we are now in the hands of the almighty Powers To Be... The Author"
"Hakkai, LINGERIE! LINGEREI!! High heels, panty hoses!!!" Gojyo babbled some more... Gee, I could watch this all day!
"Ma, don't you usually like those kind of things... The ladies you sleep with wear those kinds of things." Hakkai answered.
"But not when its..."
"What?! Lingerie is something women wear!! Then, Zymz-san... I'm with Gojyo on this!" Goku suddenly interrupted. Then I took out the Almighty object-that-effectively-subdues-Goku... Nikuban(Pork bun)! And just like I claimed... He goes with the script.
"URUSEI!!!!! Just get on with the fanfict!" Shouted Sanzo on top of his lungs while letting off some bullets out of his gun... Followed by the crash of my ceiling...
I'm gonna claim damages from the four of you after this fanfict...
"Good morning, Devils..."
"G...Good Morning, Kanzeonbosaetsu..."
If you haven't figured out what the script was, it was my very disgusting Saiyuki Charlies Angels mix cocktail... If you were wondering the subject of argument in part I
God, JUST WHY IN THE $# SCRIPT I HAD TO WEAR THESE!!!
"Gojyo, is there anything wrong?" Hakkai asked politely...
"How can you act so casually, Hakkai!!! These tight miniskirts are killing me! And these spaghetti string keeps slipping off my shoulders!" exclaimed Gojyo.
"Ne... Just why is this shirt so small and its showing off my stomach..."
"Tonikaku... it's probably the latest fashion... aha ha ha ha..."
"Hakkai, you look like a female elementary school teacher..." Gojyo commented.
And when things were just about to get really boring... Sanzo shouts out his trademark... "URUSEI!!!!" Luckily for him, I'm a Sanzo fan, therefore he gets to be Bozley.... and I'll remind you that Kanzeonbosaetsu in 'Charlie' in this fict.
"Now to get thing on the road, here's our mission. Let Sanzo introduce our clients and fill in the details..."
Sanzo opens the office door and tells the 'clients' to enter... As their clients enter the office, the three 'okama's' went bugged eyed...
"Oh, its you guys... Is this a masquerade party?"
"Since when you guys decided to be okama's? Minekura sensei should have told us..."
"k..Ku..Kubota?! Kubota Makoto and Tokitou Minoru from Wild Adapter!" Goku screamed in disbelief.
"Uh, we had a lot of time since the latest Wild Adapter tankubon is not out yet, so Minekura sensei allowed us to be in this fanfict..." Tokitou explained.
The three had large sweat drops on their faces. It figures... but why would the director cast in a pair of yaoi character in this fanfict? Unless...
"NOOOO!!!!!" Goku and Gojyo screamed and suddenly got the end of Sanzo's Paper Fan Of Ouchness...
As Sanzo explained to the 'devils'... I think it should be called 'youkais' instead; Kubo-chan and Toki-boy here hired them to retrieve the formula for the drug WA (Wild Adapter... Duh!) from the undefeated AAA team.
"AAA team? Isn't that Mishiba-kun, Saitoh-kun and Nakajo-kun's team in Bus Gamer? I thought this was supposed to be a Saiyuki fanfict..." asked Hakkai. Suddenly all seven of them were shocked to find my head popping out of the fruit bowl. "YOU DARE QUESTION THE ALMIGHTY STORYBOARD?!"
Then Sanzo continued briefing them on the mission. The Youkais need to infiltrate Houtou Castle (apparently it was kept there) and replace the formula for an instant and effective sex change potion which I stole from Watari-san's lab in Yami no Matsuei... That's why his potions never been completed... they also need to make an antidote for the WA drug before Tokitou's hand gets any more 'hairy'...
And so, they left on their mission leaving Sanzo, Kubota and Tokitou laughing their heads off without then knowing... Oh, I'm so bad.
Somehow they managed to sneak in this plot, where as I'm in my 'office'...
"Sensei... Can we change clothes... it's embarassing" Goku pleaded.
"I can't go to Tenjikyu like THIS! What will Dokugakuji say!!" Gojyo wrecked my table, again --
"Sensei, can't we... Compromise?" Hakkai offered.
"Okay... Then you guys have to...(whisper)... But still, you two have to wear those wigs! And Gojyo... pigtails!"
Back to our story...
Houtou Castle...
"Thank goodness that woman and Nii is not in this fanfict" Dokugakuji sighed in relief.
"That's because the author hates those two... Yaone! Take care of the WA formula... Doku, tighten the security within the premises!!"
"Yessir!!!"
Kougaiji sat on the throne where that old hag used to sit... Then three silhouettes can be seen in the darkness. They approach the throne...The glasses on one of them shines in the darkness, its Saitoh. Then the rest can be seen... This place has such poor lighting...
"I don't care what you have to do but make sure that Sanzo-ikkou doesn't get that formula!" Kougaiji commanded.
"Hai..." Nakajo replied while lighting his cigarette.
"And another thing... Leave Goku to me! I'll have the pleasure of finishing him off"
Ah... This guy must have wanted to screw him -- (the yaoi part...)
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THREE THINKING OF?! I'M PERFECTLY NORMAL!"
Goku was already getting ready his gear. Gojyo zipping up halfway, Hakkai getting ready the computers and gadgets. Both sides were already prepared for the battle... Who will win the WA formula? Mishiba cocking his gun...
"Mishiba-kun... You're wearing boots on your head again..." Saitoh pleaded.
"Hm... there's report on disturbance in sector six..." Nakajo informed.
Meanwhile... on the Youkai's side, Hakkai was tampering with Houtou Castle's security systems (meaning that report earlier was a dud)... Gojyo was ready to cut an entrance to the vault (do they have a vault? Don't remember seeing one in the anime or manga, then I'll just put this at where Gyumao's revival taking place... without the machinery ). Just then Goku interrupted saying that threr is a better way to go in without the others noticing...
"Oh, yeah?! Spill it"
"Ta-daa" Then Goku pulled out a plot device, Infiltration Master 20001 which I have apparently provided them with.
1 Infiltration Master 2000, one of my world-renowned inventions for characters to go in a place undetected by bending the fabric of dimension to create a hole to the desired place. Also the top selling item on Used by kaitos(thieves) and perverts everywhere... if they can afford it
"...(Speechless)..."
A few buttons to press and... done! As Hakkai entered the hole created, the others follow only to see steam on the other end... Followed by a moment of pause as they hear a loud "HENTAI!!!! (pervert)" scream...
"...Yaone-san? Gomenasai! This is a misunderstanding!!"
It seems like they have entered the castle's bathroom of some sort, sauna probably (but then why is she taking a bath/sauna at this time?!) where Yaone was...ooh... bare naked... Well done, 'perverts' oo Then it was raining explosives as Yaone was trying to cover every decent part of her body... As the smoke cleared Yaone was gone. Hakkai lowered the energy shield he used to protect them from the explosions...
"Aha ha ha ha... that was... really unexpected..." Hakkai laughed pathetically.
"Not!" Said Goku and Gojyo.
But then... a fog of some sort appeared as they stepped out of the bathroom/sauna. Hakkai ordered the others to not breathe, but Gojyo was already collapsed. For some reason, Goku was lucky enough to hold his breath earlier...
"Hakkai-san! I never knew you were a pervert!" Yaone exclaimed.
"But it was unintentional... A misunderstanding! We were only after the formula but you were bringing it along as you bathe..."
"Oh yeah... Sorry then" apologized Yaone.
Suddenly, out of nowhere a familiar face appeared and ordered her to surrender the formula to the person. The person in mention is no other the late departed...
"If he's late and departed, then why is Homura here dammit!!" Stressed Goku.
"My how rude, apparently I've been resurrected by the author... No other reason, but then, Son Goku... Why are you wearing that wig? You look like a girl... Or perhaps you've decided to be one"
Toushin Homura Taishi's sarcasm definitely hits Goku's nerve. Goku was enraged and attacked the toushin. Then came the AAA team as they try to attack Hakkai and the knocked out Gojyo along with Goku and Homura. Apparently, Saitoh got blasted by one of Hakkai's energy balls and flew through the castle walls. Goku, Mishiba and Nakajo got badly injured by Homura's flaming Dragon Sword. He then grabbed the formula from unconscious Yaone who was knocked out by the swords pressure. Hakkai tried to retaliate but his attacks were useless against the powerful toushin.
"Finally, I've obtained WA... the most powerful aphrodisiac known!!!"
But then I asked myself... Why would a toushin need an aphrodisiac?
"Would you like to know, sensei... How about now right after I use the WA... On the bed too would be nice..."
"...Have you actually know what the WA does... Homura-san?"
"I've read the manga... And with all that...grin All the better to ...you..."
Ah... What am I thinking...The Tenshi(angel) and Akuma(devil) inside of me are doing one of these what to do things...Tenshi-sama says 'No, you've done enough obscene things in this fanfict', but Akuma-san says 'you know you want it, what's one more gonna do?'...
"Ano.... I'm just the commentator here..."
"That's just make it even better... Right? Can you feel the heat...Ne, sensei..."
Just when my naughty and impure barometer was about to burst, I thought of something... Suddenly something passed by us and went away... For your 'viewing pleasure' the scene was slowed down...with the help of plot device2; the Time Manipulator 500! It was Sanzo riding pass us on a scooter (the latest model...) with Kubota at the back...
2 Time Manipulator 500, the invention that I've invented which manipulates the very fabric of time! Very useful in cases which you don't have time to do your school work, or just not enough time... Or just want to do all those... naughty... really naughty... things Now on sale at for limited time only as there is only one been made... Warranty not included as he plot device seems to be broken at most times...
"Ah... Got it... Domo arigatou, Kami-sama...", blesses Kubota while waving the formula in the air...
"Hm... No problem..." Homura looked pretty amused. As he was about to get back to 'seducing mode'... Something was 'missing'...
"Gomen, Homura-san... But I've dedicated myself to Genjo Sanzo... Maybe next time"
Ha! I was already hitching on the scooter
"Maybe I should get one of those plot devices..."
Back at the office, Hakkai was making the antidote for the WA drug...with the help of Yaone through e-mail of course... Gojyo, Kubota and Sanzo were smoking like a chimney again... Tokitou had to open the windows to let the choking smell of High Lite, Malboro reds and Seven Stars mix...
"Hah! I've done it!! Well, Tokitou-san... You can look forward to live normal(maybe) life again..."
Everyone was silent... Sure Hakkai was pretty confident about he concoction but is it effective with no side effects. Thinking "I don't want to be the test subject!" Suddenly, the office was attacked by a bunch of Youkais leaded by Saitoh (Mishiba and Nakajo was still knocked out or really injured bad I guess that Kougaiji would send Saitoh)...
"Give back the formula or else..." Saitoh ordered.
"...Or what? ..." Sanzo threatened and the clicking of his gun releasing the safety lock...
Then a really bright 100V light bulb appeared right above Hakkai's head. He stuffed the opening of the conical flask into Saitoh's mouth. The other youkais paused for a moment... What is supposed to happen next I wonder?
"Well, the WA drug is suppose to give you strength and turns you into a wild animal, tearing everyone to pieces then, your lower half explodes to smithereens... My concoction either cancels out that effect by neutralizing it or..."
"Or what?" Saitoh asks impatiently... Well since he 'drank' it...
"Or... it just have the same effects of the WA, or even worsen it... Or you'd just blow up... or we all end up in pieces... etc..." Hakkai replied.
The youkais ran off probably back to Tenjikyu not wanting to be the receiving end of the cons...the rest were having a moment of silence... Cursing the stupidity of Hakkai's concoction... Then Saitoh's body began to react to Hakkai's so-called antidote...
"Whatever happens, we still have the option to kill this idiot instead while we're still alive!" Tokitou suggested.
Too late! Saitoh began to squirm and scream, pain at every possible part that you could think of, hairs start too grow all over his body... And then...
"Ahhh!!! What has happened to me?! What are THESE?! Hakkai-san! Help!!! Ah! Where is my..." Saitoh panicked...Who wouldn't
"Huh? Ne, Sanzo... He looks like a..." Goku noted.
"...Onna?!...Oh, Shit!", Gojyo looked in disbelif. Apparently Hakkai's potion turned Saitoh into a woman, the sex change potion perhaps?
"If this is the sex change potion, than what formula is with Kougaiji? Could this mean that they have the real WA formula?" Sanzo asks.
"I've confirmed with Yaone... the one with us IS the WA formula...Perhaps it was a dud form the beginning?" Hakkai says.
But then, where is the REAL WA? The a familiar laughter aroused within the office...
"Konzen! Hand over the WA formula!"... Yeah, that's right, it's Homura again...
"Here, you can have it... Since its not the WA after all..."
"... It's not the fabeled WA? Then I don't want it... Since I'm here, I might as well take THIS ONE!" Homura pulls me out of the really big odd-looking flowerpot that I've been hiding in. Ah, NO! Sanzo, help me!!! Someone? Goku? Kubo-chan? Tokitooooou! Anyone?!
"Ah... Sensei... Lets have some 'fun' together tonight, shall we"
Ah! Homura this is so sudden... Mishiba-kun... Tasukidete...
"Let it be... You can take her and do what so ever you want with her. Its she that started this stupid fanfict in the first place!"
Koumyo Sanzo-sama!!! Your disciple is so mean!
"And don't involve my master in this fanfict!"
Sanzo... You're so mean... That's why I like you...
Ah! I've finally managed to escaped(sort of) from Homura... Whacked'em with a big metal hammer I'did. Then I had a little meeting with them... Remember the little plot?
"Ne, Zymz-san... it's not going to be easy but we'll try", Hakkai confirms.
Gojyo, Goku and Hakkai were out of their okama state and dressing up is thieves clothing. They were about to do their part of the compromising...
"Ooi... Just what are you three doing there in this time of night?"
Ah! Sanzo... What a coincidence... Right timing as well...
"Ma, gomene... Sanzo. We all have our share of bad times... No hard feelings" smiled Hakkai. The others were in 'ready' mode... Sanzo, as in his sharp instincts... He was going to make a run for it, but too late. The three had pounced on him... THIS IS NOT A YAOI SCENE! Sorry, yaoi fans.
"..m...m... MAKAI TENJYOU!!!!" Sanzo's sutra went in action, blowing Hakkai, Goku and Gojyo off him and then he runs off... Go fetch him boys.
"Hai"
The deal was they want to wear normal clothes... the deal is they still wear wigs etc, and I can have Sanzo for the night... Pretty sneaky huh!
"Sensei"
Whoah! It's Homura again(yeah, again... you know how persistent these villain are!) and... he is somehow shorter... In chibi form exact... It looks like that my hammer somehow turned him into a chibi figure...cute
"Sensei...Now that there are no interruptions... Lets...."
Homura... Stay away from me, you pervert! Don't you already have Rinrei in the afterlife?
"I must have that 'power' to do absolutely anything... Isn't that what you are capable of?"
Oh... You sicko! Take this... DEVISTATING KAMI-KILLER PUNCH!!! Go back to being dead! But I just might revive you back in case I need another bad guy...
Or... in case I get tired of dearest sanzo...
owari
Credits:
To my buddy Sheila for giving me the ideas for the 'okama' wear...
To all those amazing people on the net for writing those yaoi fanficts of SanzoxGoku, HakkaixGojyo, etc... and for giving me the great inspiration, info's...
To my TV and entertainment system for all those great times I had watching Saiyuki.
To myself for torturing the characters so badly... And last but not least;
To Kazuya Minekura sensei for creating such beautiful characters and manga
...no flames please. This is my first fic XD
Sankyu