Chapter Three: A Hole in my Heart
Seymel loved travelling. Staying in Kilika for prolonged periods of time was nice and all, but wandering through different landscapes was far more satisfying for her. She knew Baralai hated travelling – she was pretty sure it was the slowness of the whole thing that got to him. He was one of those people who liked to get from A to B as soon as possible. She never understood why – there were so many sights and sounds between A and B to experience, it made the whole journey a joy! She made it back to headquarters in a reasonable amount of time. She had taken a shortcut over the boxes on the beach near Djose which had been a great help.
Meanwhile, Nooj surveyed his ranks critically. They were lined up straight as you please, but bore no character, no personality, and no energy. Their passive faces made him feel sick – where was the life the Youth League were supposed to represent? Where was the youthful energy they were believed to possess? He saw one high ranking Youth Leaguer fall into line – her hair not confined to a strict ponytail but free and flowing, her eyes lively with expression, her face animated with mostly confusion.
He approached her only to realise he'd made a big mistake complimenting her. It was Seymel, betrayer to Baralai. She was a nice enough person, but associating with Baralai meant bad things for the League. He suspected she could be giving away important information, but New Yevon never used this news, or she wasn't telling him anything. The fact she refused to talk about anything Baralai had even mentioned in passing about New Yevon had annoyed him greatly, especially her ferocious threat, 'or you can feel my Firaga!' she'd yelled defiantly by his ear when he'd questioned her. He had put her through a lot of pressure to spy on someone he supposed she cared about, he deliberated, but then again she would have such amazing uses as a spy...
"Seymel, you look like an up and coming Youth Leaguer," he said softly and she gave him a cold, curt nod. He knew she didn't particularly like him – his treatment of her involving the spying business hadn't gone down very well with her.
"I thought I already did that. Shouldn't I be the 'up and came' Leaguer?" she replied tartly, curling an out of place smile that bore no warmth.
He nodded and backed off.
"Ever the firecracker, Seymel," he countered mildly and backed up to face the ranks.
"This is what we should aspire to," he began and pointed to Seymel, who grew very embarrassed, "This is what we should be like – lively and biting, not dull and conformist! If you don't believe in my cause, or what I want you to do, say so! Don't follow blindly – that is what New Yevon is about, blindly following orders with no thought! Dismissed!" he barked roughly and walked off into the main tent.
Seymel's face still felt hot as she recomposed herself after Nooj's shock announcement. Her, the model Leaguer? She doubted it. Her relationship with Baralai was enough to discount that easily. She wandered to her tent and flexed her hands in preparation for her specialised black magic training. She wasn't sure how long it would be before she'd see Baralai again, but if Nooj kept hanging around and not leaving her in peace, it was going to at least feel like a while. With an edge of glumness she waved the waiting pupils in and braced herself for a hectic hour.
They hadn't seen each other in a month and it dragged heavily for Baralai. He sat in his private chamber in Bevelle temple, tapping his foot against his desk irritably. There was nothing to do and still the priests buzzed around him telling him there was lots to do, but it never seemed to materialise in his hands to deal with. Why did he bother, why was he even here when he could have Seymel in his arms? He stood purposely and strolled out of the temple to look over Bevelle from the balcony. The cool breeze cleared his head a little. He could see the priests hurrying from one place to another and he felt useless. A month without seeing her entrancing intense green eyes, see her full red lips that tipped up in a playful smile when she saw him...her slim body wielding the heavy black magic inside her. He'd had enough – they could manage without him for at least a few days. He straightened and left without turning a head. They didn't even notice when their own Praetor wandered off to the enemy camp. He set off resolutely down to Djose as fast as he could manage. He hoped that Seymel hadn't wandered off, or worse settled back in Kilika – it would take him days to reach there.
With a heavy sigh he got out his quarterstaff.
Seymel was pining for Baralai terribly. She could feel a dull throb in her chest where Baralai was missing. Over the past year they had never spent this long apart. Two weeks had been the most to date and neither of them wanted to do it again. She was in one of the Youth League tents giving a basic defence lesson, but none of the teenage students were very interested, the hot sun had taken all their energy away.
"Okay, let's pack it in. You're free to go," she waved a hand in dismissal and they scurried out with a cheer. She collapsed into a chair and listlessly tapped her fingers on her desk. So, this is what happens when you're separated from your love too long...you begin to think about him constantly, until you become blinded by one thought – get to him, get to him, get to him...
"Still thinking about the enemy?" Nooj's voice cut through the silence, making Seymel jump and almost fall off her chair. He was acting as if he could lean against the tent material and walked over to her with his metal walking stick not making a sound on the smooth sun warmed ground.
Seymel knew Nooj hated the relationship she shared with Baralai. She had a suspicion Nooj thought she was feeding Baralai information, but she knew the dark past they shared and didn't like to bring Baralai up in a conversation with her boss if he'd get annoyed.
"Perhaps, Nooj...Why are you here? Any news for me?" she asked idly, not paying much attention to Nooj. She didn't particularly like Nooj – his path as a Deathseeker worried her and other high ranking Youth Leaguers. She felt like one day he'd do something really stupid and let himself get killed, not something people favoured in the slightest.
"No, there is nothing to do. Seymel, you have some free time to do with what you will. The Youth League will be quiet for some time – no new reports have come in and they don't look like they're going to in a while," he explained, gave a nod and left.
Free time...? She leapt up and a grin plastered her face. She was free to go and get him! Alone! For 'some time'!
She ran to her tent and gathered a few belongings before leaving. With a lighter heart, and less throbbing in her chest she set off across to Djose and on to Bevelle.
Baralai had tirelessly journeyed for a day and had ended up at the Moonflow, which was beautiful at night. He decided to have a nice walk along to the main view of the Moonflow. It was only a Shoopuf trip, so nothing taxing for him. He let his mind lull into a stupor as the Shoopuf crossed the almost still water.
Seymel would probably be cringing in her seat – she hated boats, water and Shoopuf's even though they had a passive demeanour. He chuckled to himself – he could imagine her hiding her face in her hands, under a veil of hair and possibly, if he was there, with her head buried into his chest.
The Hypello looked at him expectantly. They had arrived, he realised and swiftly left.
The Moonflow at night was truly a sight to see. It glimmered and shone pleasingly to the eye – the still water catching the moonlight and the pyreflies danced along the water surface, twisting mysteriously and danced away from reaching hands.
He took in the sight, but was disturbed by a sprinting figure.
"W-Wait! I need to ride a Shoopuf!" the person called as she streaked past.
"What the-" he began and looked at the figure running for toward the Hypello urgently.
Blue dress, long reddish-blonde hair and a flash of green eyes? Seymel?
He ran after her and caught her arm just before she climbed on. "Seymel!" he gasped as she turned to him.
"Baralai!" she breathed and threw herself into his arms, kissing as much of his face as she could manage. He grinned and held onto her tightly, his arms must have been crushing her slim frame.
"I went to go and see you. It's been too long," she explained when they had finally released one another.
"Same here. I'm so glad I found you, Sey," he said and went to kiss her, when the Hypello interrupted with an impatient tone, "All aboards!"
They shared a timeless look, before jumping into action and got on the lift to the Shoopuf.
Seymel began to fidget nervously. "I don't like this..." she said under her breath and Baralai took her hand tightly.
"It's okay, Sey, you're going to be fine," he comforted her as they got on the Shoopuf. The whole trip across Seymel quivered violently from fear. She would thoughtlessly take down dangerous fiends with an Ultima spell, but a little bit of water and a large benevolent creature sent her running – if she wasn't confined to the Shoopuf.
Baralai cradled Seymel gently as she gave a small whimper and she sat on his lap, arms tightly fastened around his body and head next to his, snuffling into his bandana. She wished it could be his hair, but beggars can't be choosers when it came to scary situations such as these.
When she was five, she had a bad experience that never left her. Her mother, a devout Yevon believer decided to take Seymel to Bevelle to see the heart of her religion. From Kilika to Bevelle meant a Shoopuf ride, which back then was really fun and exciting for a five year old. Unfortunately, she fell off the great beast halfway across the Moonflow and almost drowned in the process. It was a frightful memory Seymel never liked to dwell on afterwards and it made her harbour very negative thoughts towards water and Shoopuf's.
Thankfully, the trip wasn't too long, but it was far longer than Seymel ever wanted a journey like that to be. The two got off hand in hand and headed to the inn, exchanging wicked smiles.
Five minutes later they opened the door to a nice airy bedroom with adjoining bathroom.
"I'm so happy we're back together – a month was too long," Seymel decided. Baralai nodded vigorously. "Far too long. I began to go crazy from not seeing you," he agreed and took his bandana off, running a hand through his hair – a nervous habit.
"And going mad is no good thing. I began to get a pain in my chest, like you had taken a piece of my heart with you. A month almost killed me, 'Lai," she confessed, dumping a small bag with her belongings on the dresser.
She almost subconsciously ran her hand along his arm, but it wasn't as comforting to her with his thick sleeves covering him up. She took his arms and manoeuvred him to the bed.
"It's been a long, long..." she pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him, tugging off his hopelessly difficult clothes off him as best she could.
"Long..." Baralai interjected and began to help her pull his notably impossible to get off clothes. Instead of the passion filled removal of clothes followed by intensely fervent lovemaking, Seymel sat straddled across Baralai, pulling his clothes off as best as she could to no avail. "This is ridiculous, like tripping us at the final hurdle," she muttered desperately, giving another tug this time a little half-heartedly.
After another minute she managed some success. Baralai had a much easier task than her – un-knotting the back of her halter and her entire dress fell off her, which made him feel bad about having such an absurdly complicated outfit.
Now far more comfortable, Seymel lay on top of him, kissing him properly for the first time in a month.
"Time," she finished and wound her thin arms around his body. He rolled her onto the bed and she ran her hands along his chest with desire lighting her eyes.
"Finally, some quality time," she whispered and she switched the lamp off with a grin.
Night was one of their favourite conversation times. Though they agreed on few things, some of the main things they did agree on; dinnertime is for stuffing your face, not nattering some pointless small talk, breakfast was when you ate and did make small talk, daytime was for energetic activities, evening was staring at wondrous sights and night was for conversations.
They lay in bed, Baralai looking to the stars again while Seymel dozed, her head on his chest once more. They couldn't keep allowing work to split them apart this long – he knew he would have to return to New Yevon within the next few days or chaos would ensue for sure. He was sick of having to try and balance work and his relationship with Seymel – it gave him a headache. Work was a duty he could not abandon that followed his beliefs and Seymel was his one true love. He never considered the possibility of another person out there. He knew there wasn't. Yes, they disagreed on many things, but together they could fight through anything and the common ground they did share, was loved by both of them dearly. No one, no one could question seafood in front of them without facing their wrath. Why was he going through all these thoughts now?, he mulled to himself.
Seymel mumbled something in her sleep – a common occurrence – then turned her head from side to side before settling down and draping an arm across his chest and cuddling as close as she could to him.
'These rare few moments of contact we have to savour,' he thought bitterly to himself, cursing the lives they led. It was such a simple thing to do, quit his position as Praetor and announce a successor, but he couldn't. He didn't know what stayed his hand from tossing the towel in – it may have been duty, his belief in Yevon, maybe he liked the power he got as Praetor...
'Even if it separated you from Seymel for good?' a little voice hissed in his head menacingly.
'I...I don't know...' was all he could come up with and tried to go to sleep.
Meanwhile Seymel snuffled to herself and woke up. Her eyes flickered for a moment before she was fully awake. She raised her head very slightly to see Baralai was asleep and lay back onto his chest.
Tonight was not going to be a conversation night.
Oh well, she didn't really mind – she didn't particularly feel like talking to Baralai because it always ends up on the division they faced with their two factions. It pained her immensely to think about it at night. The whole weight of the problem seemed cut-glass clear in the moonlight and Seymel didn't like to consider such large separation between them. Especially the fact that particular problem could bring about the Final Split. And she and Baralai never, never had that talk. Ever.
Seymel didn't like where her thoughts were taking her, so she squeezed her eyes shut and pretended she didn't think them. Then when she was sure she had forced them away with Pink Ochu's new song, she relaxed and allowed sleep to take her away.