Dark Pasts, Hopeful Futures

by Thorned Rose

Consequences of actions must be faced and acknowledged in this extremely dark Rocketshippy sequel to A Diary Of Two Hearts. Six months apart can harden the gentlest of hearts, so how do they cope with the harrowing challenges they face?

3. 22nd March, 2001

                                                Thursday, March 22nd 2001

      James woke up to the comforting feel and warmth from the familiarity of the contours of Jessie's body against his own, and he felt as if his life was gradually repairing itself after the void he had drifted through for six months. He had invited her back to his room again the night before, and he was ecstatic when she accepted, although he declined offering her an invite to have sex with him as his principals remained unchanged, unlike his desires. He felt like she was fractionally using him, seeing that she wished to hide her pregnancy from him until she had nearly slept with him, and he could be in a rebound relationship if she had just broken up with someone else. Confusion seemed to be the main thought occupying his head, and nothing he tried to think of could make his thoughts lucid. Her attitude was different to how he used to know it, and although he was still infatuated with her he wasn't altogether certain if she was the same woman he fell in love with all of those years ago. She was still holding something back from him, what it was he couldn't determine just yet, but after knowing her for most of his life he could tell that she was suffering from a problem that was yet to be disclosed. What he didn't know, however, was that her problem would prove to affect him deeper than he could have ever imagined…

      She scrunched her eyes as she fought to avoid the inevitable action that was waking up, knowing instantly that when she did, she would be wrenched back into the harsh nightmare that was her life. A sudden noise caused her eyes to flash open, and it took Tyra's eyes a few moments to readjust to her surroundings before she was able to concentrate on the room around her. She tensed as she stood up to switch the main light off now that she was awake and fully alert, and she pulled on as much clothing that she felt covered her body sufficiently before concentrating on whereabouts the noise had originated. Her fingers twitched towards the location of her pistol beside the door to her room, but it wasn't a method of self-defence that she was most eager at using due to unpleasant experiences in the past, and in her indecision she heard the noise again; it was a violent knock on the door. She took the weapon in her possession and slid it up her sleeve before cautiously asking who stood at the door. She heard a voice that was familiar and it was as if rods of steel were inserted into her body as none of her limbs moved when she had successfully identified its owner. Not even her eyes made any motion as memories of what had happened in the office in the day before suddenly swarmed into her head.

      She knew the instant that she heard those three words that she was a performer in one of Giovanni's latest tricks that usually pleased only him, and she became taut as she frantically wondered why she had been made sit beside a man who had taken what he had wanted from her without pity. She ignored the maddening nausea that took control over her indigestion system when she heard her supposed employer talking, as she wanted clear thoughts when he explained his reason for deliberately making her sit almost beside Butch. Her skin convulsed and she felt positive that it was trying to free itself from the torture that he had made her endure months beforehand. In spite of being told a mission already, Giovanni continued to talk about an experiment going on in the laboratory that concerned people familiar to each of them. Cassidy was the one performing the tests and analysing the results, whilst Tyra was well acquainted with the 'subject' that had supposedly been resurrected. In truth, the subject had been in a deep state of comatose and Cassidy had successfully deduced a method that would be able to save him from a state of being permanently inanimate. Tyra felt colder than ever before as she knew the dangers that her ex-partner's life brought with it, and since it had taken her long enough to accept his death and finally close the door to her depressing past, she felt as if a draught had just caused the door to swing open and smack her in her back without warning. She tugged at the material of her outfit again as she involuntarily listened to her appointment to visit the subject the following morning, and she knew at once that she should be cautious—things like this don't just occur in a natural lifetime, and when Team Rocket was involved, she should definitely be on her guard.

      She cursed her own stupidity at not hearing her alarm clock as she finished getting dressed, having told Butch that he'd have to wait until she was fully ready before she went anywhere near him, and so he waited outside the door. She wasn't emotionally capable of seeing someone she had thoroughly believed to be deceased, and the fact that she was going into a laboratory where inhumane experiments were conducted on pokémon and traitors alike wasn't her idea of pleasure. Added to that was the dark fact that she was visiting a corpse (as far as she was concerned) with a rapist, and she couldn't think of a single factor that made her actually want to proceed with her appointment. The only reason she would was so she'd stay on decent terms with her employer; she wasn't afraid of dying, in fact she often yearned for it, but he knew grislier and more sadistic punishments that would hurt her far greater than stopping her heartbeat, as she had experienced in the past. She ensured that most of her body was concealed from sight before checking her pistol remained unseen and she finally opened the door to greet her fate.

      A noise also caused James to leave the comforting occupation of admiring his sleeping girlfriend, but his surprise was far more pleasant than that which awoke his former lover. The noise was that shrill incessant beeping of the alarm clock to alert him that he had half an hour left before he was due to commence his shift, but on the positive side, it would be the last time he'd work in the restaurant this week. As he fumbled around for the button on the digital clock to cease the irritating siren, Jessie was forcefully snapped out of her dreams. Despite feeling serene as she tried to figure out where she was, she couldn't recall what the content of the reveries had been. She sat up a bit and coiled her arms around her lover's hips as he stretched across the table and put his glasses on. She rubbed herself against his bare back and whispered:

      "Do you know how strange it is for me to see you looking like that?"

      "Good morning to you too"

      "Sorry, I didn't mean it in a harsh way. It's just it makes you look so…different"

      "It probably has the same effect on you that your hair has on me. Don't get me wrong, I think it looks great, it's just that it's hard to adjust to physical appearances when they're different to how they were when we grew up together"

      "I guess you're right. Here, you deserve a kiss good morning"

      "Thanks, I'll try be right more often"

      He turned around to face her properly to assist him in giving her a kiss as passionate as he could deliver at that hour of the morning, and she found no flaw with his attempt. She ran her fingers tenderly along his back until she reached the back of his neck and he jolted away from her like she was contaminated with leprosy or something, and he mumbled an apology as his face became more flushed than he had hoped. She caught her first proper sight of the burns on his neck as the morning light hit against it, and she suddenly realised he must relive the horrific action of near-strangulation through electrocution every time something touched against it. She apologised to him and although he told her that it was completely unnecessary, she noted that he refused to meet her eyes with his own as he left the small and uncomfortable bed in search of his chef's outfit. She cursed to herself as she realised how thoughtless her action might seem to him and felt determined to show that she loved him, regardless of anything that may have happened between them since the hurtful split. James, on the other hand, felt like he was idiotic for jolting away from her as it made him look like he didn't trust her proximity.

      Tyra gritted her teeth as she waited at the reception in Team Rocket Headquarters as the secretary on duty sedated a member of the organisation for unruly behaviour, and she wished an ill hex on the young blonde for delaying her, as every second cracked her hard exterior. When guards escorted the light-headed member away from the desk, the woman accepted their identification cards and tapped a few codes into the computer in front of her. Tyra glanced at the nametag pinned to her overalls and read Lindsey, and recognition of the woman finally occurred in Tyra's mind; she had been one of the few Elite members, who had joined her in her miniature revolution years back against the disposal of an enthusiastic but unsuccessful agent. It now seemed that she had been reduced to the lacklustre job of secretarial duties, and before she could reach any more logical conclusions, Lindsey handed the cards back to the two agents, smiled warmly and said with a hollow look in her eyes:

      "Please allow a guard to escort you to the laboratory. I'm quite sure we don't want Giovanni to be given an excuse to dismiss workers for poor security measures"

      "I understand completely miss"

      "Would you kindly follow that gentleman down the corridor at once please?"

      "No problem. Good day to you miss"
      Even though it may not have been much, her display of manners to what others would describe as a disgraced secretary, it made the blonde feel less empty after experiencing being treated like a human again. Tyra glanced back once more before gulping and pacing down the gloomy steps that led to the experiment units, and shivered when the guard, a mere youth of seventeen or so named Anthony, stopped and allowed them through the iron door whilst the portcullis was raised. The latter may seem like a medieval method of protection, but when the mechanism was triggered, it crashed down on top of the fleeing person, and the idea of it was that they'd forget this in the heat of the escape and they would never see the sharp wrought iron spikes that killed them. So far, there had been no cases of rebels surviving beyond the door…

      James agitatedly ran his hand over his tied-back hair as the orders continued to sprout profusely in the restaurant, and it would have to be the day he wanted an easy day to reflect on how he had acted towards his fiancée that morning. Whereas he had been contemplating whether or not she felt like betrothing him after what had happened between them, he had asked her the night before as they had been falling asleep and he was overjoyed to learn that she still held a desire to continue with the engagement. He knew that he'd probably hurt Jessie's feelings in his stupid moment of distrust, and if he could be given a few minutes of peace for him to think, he'd decide on a way to show her that he was sincerely sorry, and how he could make it up to her. Instead, he mentally hissed as another piece of paper was handed to him with yet another order, and he was grateful to have worked in more irritating jobs than this, otherwise he'd have snapped and been down one source of income. He was also grateful of the fact he'd hoarded money from his jobs instead of blowing it on something pathetic like alcohol, as it would prove to be more than a little helpful for looking after his child. He gathered the serenity he desired a couple of hours later when the restaurant finally calmed down, and he was granted his lunch break then seeing the place was dead. Before even considering eating anything, he entered a nearby florist and purchased a small bouquet of Jessie's favourite flowers to try and show he was apologetic, but he felt a pang of covetousness as he saw her across the street with another man. He couldn't hear what they were saying and he didn't know that by the manner of conversation there was no way he should be envious, but he felt both dismayed and outraged when the man kissed her on the cheek. James turned his back and headed for his apartment for both food and somewhere where he could take shelter without being seen by anyone else. What he didn't see, however, was the sharp white imprints the stranger's rough grip had left on Jessie's face, nor did he see the tears welling up in her sapphire eyes as she glared after the man.

      Tyra shivered copiously as her footsteps echoed around the cold stone laboratory, and she noticed that she seemed to be the only one uncomfortable in her surroundings, a fact that left her feeling more than fractionally disturbed. Screams tore through the atmosphere every few seconds, both human and not, and she wanted to stop dead in her tracks when a blinding flash of light was emitted from a cell, so powerful that it caused the lighting to become even more dim than it was. The metal of her weapon was causing her frighteningly cold skin to become numb, and if she didn't feel it so necessary for her defence, she would have discarded it quite a while ago. The passages narrowed periodically and she wanted to cry when this happened as Butch walked closer to her, and the feeling of his breath on her neck made her want to retch. The torturing/experimenting cell they were commanded to attend was the furthest from the entrance, as it was the segregation unit. It was generally reserved for those that would be dangerous to Team Rocket's career if the subject escaped, or if it was proving itself to be a quiet one that would eventually break if it wasn't able to communicate with other life forms. In this case it was neither; Giovanni didn't want anybody bar the Elite scientists to know about this in case the serum that dissolved the comatose state made it into the hands of legal scientists. The last thing he wanted was his mother released from her decade-long coma—he'd finally created an image for himself that was well respected and feared, and the last thing he wanted was for her to come and destroy that now. When they were finally at the cell in question, they were searched (badly, as Tyra's gun wasn't confiscated) and allowed access. Despite what she had been told, Tyra's world fell beneath her feet when she saw the helpless subject tied down on the table and she felt absolute horror when she saw bruises where countless needles had been inserted into his skin. She ran her hand along his forehead and got no response other than a glare from him.

      "He's drugged to the eyeballs. He can't talk"

      Tyra spun around and attempted to scream at Cassidy, demanding why she had subjected him to this treatment, but all that escaped her mouth was a weak croak. The blonde scientist wasn't sadistic or cruel towards the frantic young woman, and she added in a sympathetic tone:

      "Giovanni didn't want him to tell you anything so I was supposed to knock him out. I left him like this so you could at least see he was alive. I don't enjoy my job; exact your revenge for this elsewhere. I'd much rather be doing fieldwork, as I assume you would, but this way I can make sure stupid mistakes aren't made, and that lives aren't necessarily lost. I believe that Mondo's death six months ago was tragic enough, as well as the loss of members such as this, to act as a reason to prevent any more needless deaths don't you?"

      Tyra bit her trembling lip and nodded slowly as she remembered the person she had shot to save James' life, and how he had only shown compassion to her for a moment when she had resuscitated his fiancée. A few moments later, Giovanni entered the laboratory with a brisk walk, indicating that he wanted everything explained and asked as quickly as possible. Tyra could see her breath in front of her as she continued to shiver involuntarily, whilst everyone else seemed horrifically casual as an in-depth analysis on the experiment was provided for them. To make matters even worse, she was informed that she would be involved in a new mission involving her fallen friend, and that she would have to ensure it was successful if she valued her life. She wanted to spit back that her life was absolutely worthless to her, and that they were wasting their time even giving her the instructions, but she was more intelligent than to offer her life towards a career in being tortured eternally. Giovanni seemed to sense her discomfort and walked over to her and hissed at her to grow up, before pulling her body next to his own and extracting her gun and pointing it at her temple.

      "Did you really think that you could partake in a search without my experts detecting this, you stupid bitch?"

      "Screw you"

      "Is that an offer you're making? Or is it a way of begging me to send Butch after you again? If it is, he's over there so ask him yourself"

      "Of course it isn't, let go of me"

      "What's the matter, you cheap slut?"
      "I'm not a slut, you are you lecherous old fiend"

      Giovanni backhanded her sharply and she spat the blood out of her mouth on his suit, earning her a sharp uppercut that caused her to fall backwards onto the concrete ground. She saw the gun being aimed at her again and she bolted out of the laboratory and back towards the entrance of the underground section with bullets flying at her heels. She ran through all the clear laser points that triggered the evil portcullis within six seconds, indicating it was an escaping rebel, and the metal gate read the speed she travelled at to know when to drop, and now it was prepared to lower on her within seconds. She had, like many that suffered her fate in the past, totally forgotten about it, and just as she was about to sprint under the trap, somebody grabbed her and held her against their own body as the gate crashed down completely. Tyra shook in shock as she realised that her life was nearly stolen from her, and she looked below at the person who had let her survive, and she released a gasp of both shock and horror when she learned their identity. Her instinct took over as the voices of her pursuers were closer than comfort allowed, and her helper lifted the bars for her to escape through whilst the thick iron door behind it was still open. She thanked her saviour as she raced out of the wretched building, and she couldn't believe her eyes; after seeing that person, it seemed like they wished to betray her…

      James felt thoroughly exhausted as he finished the last hour of his quota for work in the restaurant for that week as it had been challenging in more than one sense of the word, and he had longed to give up since early on in the day, particularly since seeing his fiancée with another man. He lay back on his bed and closed his eyes as angry thoughts flooded through his disquieted mind, and he couldn't wait for Jessie to show up so he could have it out with her. The last time he had been this jealous of her was when he had slept with Tyra due to misguided information, and he knew it would be best for him to stay inside the apartment in case he did something that he would regret to an equal extent. He suddenly felt unbearably drowsy, so he decided to sleep off his bad temper, and he adjusted the time on his alarm clock for half eight, just before he'd need to get ready for his night shift. Sleep grasped him in its arms easily, but he wasn't granted an easy rest; he was cursed with vision after vision of Jessie being unfaithful, and then he jolted awake after a final, haunting image. Jessie gave birth to their child, which distorted itself until it resembled a demonic creature that tore its mother to shreds and drank her blood the instant it breathed for itself. He'd tried to stop it from happening, but in her dying state he saw that she was no longer Jessie, but Carlotta, who hissed out:

      "You couldn't let me live happily, could you? Look at the baby you caused, and look at it kill me"

      James was shaking robustly on the bed from fear, and he was usually never affected from dreams regardless of how vivid they appeared. Since learning that he'd inadvertently caused Carlotta's miscarriage and death, he'd suffered inwardly for his stupid adolescent mistakes, and this image showed him his fear, in a horrific and disturbing manner. At least he knew that she had died from blood poisoning and not demonic utilization, but the nightmare was still having an adverse effect on him. He began to feel increasingly nauseous, owing to a sharp taste of blood in his mouth, which was undoubtedly present from him biting his cheek in the fretting moment in his dream. He ran his hand along the back of his neck and found a thick band of sweat and decided that a shower might not only freshen him up, but it might also calm his nerves. He glanced at the clock and saw it was twenty-five to eight, which left him with more than ample time to have a shower and get ready. As he left the bedroom, he began wondering where Jesse was even though he had wanted to fight with her; she had agreed to meet him after his first job, seeing they didn't have much time to spend together around his working schedule. He saw the flowers that he had bought for her during his lunch break, and now he was completely perplexed why she hadn't gone to his apartment in the duration of the time he'd been there. He would have gone to her apartment, but she hadn't told him its address or any hint regarding its location, so the only option open to him was to wait.

      Typically, he heard a knock on the door when he stepped out of the shower and he called out that he'd be there in a minute as he hurriedly pulled on his uniform. He was closing the top few buttons on his black shirt as he opened the door, and his fiancée asked him if she was disturbing something, and he replied with a smirk that if she waited a few minutes he'd get rid of his whore and he'd be completely devoted to her. She met his glance and whispered 'nice try' before pushing him forward and kissing him passionately as she kicked the door shut behind them. He decided not to bring the strange man into the conversation just yet as their teenage hormones returned to them in full power for the first true time since they'd been reunited. They lay in each other's arms on the same couch they'd had a first kiss the other night whilst they acted like they would have done months ago. Jessie caught sight of the flowers as he kissed her neck zealously, and she slyly asked if he did have a whore there to have given him that, but he jokingly said that he'd found it outside the door, addressed to her from one of her admirers. It was only when his uniform was pretty much non-existent that James pulled back and apologised for not being able to have sex with her, and she saw the genuine sorrow in his face. She was grateful to see that he cared enough for both her and the unborn child that he'd forsake a few minute's pleasure if it meant that there was no risk involved. She was far from grateful, however, that she also had to forsake a few minute's pleasure, and it was hard for her to tell her sky-high sex drive that. It was one of the advantages to being pregnant, but even six months on Deryck was able to ruin their lives by stopping an affianced couple from consummating their passion, all because he had injected his blood into James. She ran her fingers along his abdomen as he put his shirt back on, and he apologised again before heading into the kitchen area to take some more medication as his throat was burning with pain again. He asked her if she wanted anything to eat or drink, and she declined, revealing that the reason she was so late getting there was because she had stopped for something to eat along the way. She met his lips as he sat down beside her again, and they remained like that until the annoying ringing of the alarm clock filled the air. They groaned as it spoiled the moment they had been sharing, and as James got up to turn it off, Jessie followed him into the bedroom. She pushed him back onto the small bed and straddled his stomach whilst removing his glasses to try and see if he looked anything like what she was used to, even though she thought that the glasses made him even more attractive to her. She put them back without saying anything and leaned down on top of him as she did so. He leaned upwards to kiss her but to tease him she twisted so they swapped positions and pulled backwards to ask him what he wanted.

      "You know what I want"

      "Tell me"

      "You"

      "Why don't you have me then?"

      "I can't, and I think you know why not"

      "Tell me"

      "Come on, you know why I won't do it, even though it's what I want more than ever in this position"

      "I'm still clothed"

      "A factor I've wished weren't there…"

      "What did you say?"

      "Attractive fish don't swear?"

      "Nice cover, but that's not what you said"

      "Okay so I wish you weren't dressed, happy? I also wished I didn't need to go to work in ten minutes"

      "You can get a lot of things done in ten minutes. Want to try?"

      "Jessie, it's cruel the way you're acting the temptress when I have to restrain myself. I can't have sex with you when I might have AIDS, and certainly not when we haven't any protection with us"

      "Change that. You work in a tavern don't you? You can buy some when you get a few minutes free"

      "Now what would that look like? I'm still not sure if it would be intelligent to risk you catching something"

      "You'd do it if you love me"

      "It's because I love you that I won't. If I didn't care about you, I'd sleep with you in an instant, but I love you too much to risk it"

      "Fine, but it's not fair to my hormones!"

      "Nor to mine, but think what it could be like for them if we ever sleep together again"

      "If?"
      "Haven't you thought about what the situation will be like if I do have HIV or AIDS? There's no way I'd risk you or my child like that for sex"

      "Hang on, you'll go through life after only having sex a few times, and you'll live it married to me when the last person you'd have ever slept with tried to kill me?"

      "Don't say it like that, you know it's hard for me to refuse you. Regardless of what you think, I'm still a teenage male in love with a sexy young woman, and it's tough to say no"

      "I guess so. Get ready for work"

      "Don't be like that"

      "You'll be late if you don't"

      "I don't want to part on bad terms, you know I love you"

      "Yeah, but my hormones are all over the place and I can't help feeling hurt when you reject me like this"

      "I'm not rejecting you Jessie, I'm thinking of the safety of our child. You're not jealous of it are you?"

      "My child is not an 'it'"

      "I didn't mean that, it's just that I don't know its gender"

      "Leave off the word 'it', will you?"

      "Jessie I'm sorry, it's…"

      "Fuck off James"

      "I'm not doing it delib--"

      "Very funny. I'll see you later"

      "Jessie, I do love you, and I didn't do that on purpose, and I don't think that our child is sexless--"

      "Yeah, that's you"

      "Why are you doing this?"

      "Just fucking get to work and leave me alone, okay?"

      She kicked him off her and he landed painfully on his back, and he didn't look back at her as he grabbed his jacket and two sachets of medication to leave for work in an environment unfriendly towards his throat. Before angrily slamming the door he growled back towards the bedroom:
      "If you want sex, fuck the guy you were with today. Maybe he'll actually want to touch you"

      He regretted doing it the instant the door vibrated against its frame from the force it had been shut with, but he couldn't delay any more than he had, otherwise he'd be drastically late for work, and he'd have more than just one woman pissed off at him. Despite the fact that he left no later than he usually did, he was still a bit late for work by the time he reached The Silver Bullet, but much to his relief nobody seemed to notice, and there was a pleasant contrast between the restaurant and the tavern: unusually there were only a handful of drinkers in at the moment. He exchanged greetings with the manager, Elora, and the only other member of staff that was on duty with him, Matt. There had been something vaguely familiar about the youth when James had applied for the job, but he could never quite place it, although he felt that he'd been involved with something sinister. He'd never pressed for details in case he only resembled someone he'd seen, but he had a nasty feeling that their paths had crossed in the past. As the night drew on, more and more customers filed into the pub and the mood seemed considerably lighter than James felt after the way he'd walked out on Jessie. He'd only just seen her after a six-month gap, and he'd just acted in a way that ran the risk of him never seeing her again over a stupid argument. Elora noticed he was quieter than his usual self and took him into the back when there was less of a demand for their service, and she told Matt to call them if things became hectic again. She asked him if he was all right and he confided in her about his situation, hoping that he'd get a fair point of view on it since his employer was female. But then again, it mightn't be altogether fair since she wanted him to be hers, and he'd known that since the time he'd applied for the job, but it was a chance he'd have to take. She didn't seem particularly biased in either direction, but she recommended that he rang her to apologise, and then make it up to her that night by doing something he knew she'd appreciate. He groaned as he explained that he lived in a cheap flat, so he couldn't afford a phone line as well, therefore ringing her wasn't an option. There was also no guarantee that she'd still be waiting for him at the apartment, and he was frantic that he'd never see her again, and that included never seeing his child. She held him against her body as a mark of comfort, and as he continued with reasons why he was afraid to have lost her for good, Matt came in and said that a woman was asking for James at the bar, which made his spirits shoot higher into the air than they'd been at any point since leaving Jessie. Unfortunately, they were destined to sink upon seeing sight of who it was, as they were far from the woman of his dreams.

      Tyra's eyes darted around the room anxiously as she waited for James to see her, and she was near to tears already as she didn't know how bitter his attitude would be towards her, and it wouldn't take much for him to hurt her in this state. She froze as she saw him, and his look of sheer rage when he saw her frightened her, so much in fact that she didn't say anything for the first few moments. His eyes narrowed and he delivered an icy glare before hissing out an order for her to get out of his sight, which rewarded him with a command to be nicer to the customers from Elora. He refused to serve the customer and told this to Elora repeatedly, who tried to keep out of the personal conflict by telling Matt to serve her, and out of sheer frustration, Tyra revealed to James where he knew the barman from, and that he'd rather listen to a man who'd raped his ex-fiancée, as well as helping other men to rape her. James' blood began to boil as he realised that he knew Matt from the footage of Jessibelle being gang-raped, and he struck his fist outwards, succeeding in dislocating his shoulder without any difficulty, and if Elora hadn't stood between them, he'd have quite easily beaten the youth to death with that knowledge. Tyra retreated back a few steps as she realised that she could be next in his anger, but greatly to her astonishment, he told her to wait in the back of the bar until he was ready to see her, and after getting a warning not to hurt her, Elora allowed him to go to talk to her. As he left for the back, there was a groan in the customers, as they'd found the argument between the barmen quite interesting.

      James checked the lock on the door was secure before turning and glaring at Tyra, until it seemed like he was trying to physically disfigure her through that method. She was backed against the far wall with a look of terror in her eyes, knowing that he wanted to exact revenge on her, and the pique in his face made her upset at the thought of what her ex-partner had made her lose. He didn't say anything as he unbuttoned the top three buttons on his shirt until he was right in front of her, then he held his hands up in front of her eyes to show her his burns, and he growled out:

      "Look what you did to me you worthless bitch. Can you hear the strain in my voice, or are you deaf too?"

      "I d-d-didn't do that"

      "Maybe not, but you were in on the plan. You knew it was going to happen the night I screwed you. Though now, it seems like I must've been high to consider degrading myself that much"

      "You don't mean that"

      "Don't I? You're right, I don't. I haven't had anything to make me high in years, so I was just stupid. Pity I wasn't even drunk to take away the memories"

      "James, I know you hate me, but do you really wish that you'd been drunk? After what we had?"

      "It's what we had, not what we have. I should have never gone near you that night. You knew Jessie was being raped every second I spent with you, how can you live with a conscience like that? And then you whined to me that someone had raped you, and that when you recovered you got raped again. Am I meant to care about anything you have to say now?"

      "It's important, and about six months ago…"

      "Shit, you're not pregnant too are you?"

      "That's not what I want to talk about"

      "You are, aren't you?"

      "Perhaps"

      "Great, just absolutely fucking great"

      "James, you're hurting me"

      In the heat of the moment, James had pinned her against the wall, even though she wasn't capable of moving due to her fear, and since asking her what she wanted, his grip had become agonizingly painful for her. He eased his grip on her, but didn't let go in case she moved too quickly and escaped before he'd had it out with her. Panic was running through his head, as he knew that he shouldn't hurt her, yet he didn't know how to react to this news. He had new responsibilities, and he knew that he'd need to look after her child as much as he did Jessie's, even though the thought of that made his blood run cold, and he didn't know how to continue as it involved his treating her like a human. As cruel as it may sound, he sincerely hoped that she was lying, and if he had any chance of Jessie accepting him back, this would certainly assist her in deciding against it. Despite how he was acting, he didn't want to put anybody's life at risk, but he couldn't afford to release this fact just yet. He stepped away from her and let go of her as he could tell that she was in genuine pain from the look in her eyes, yet he felt stupid for exposing his unprotected back to her.

      "It's not what I want to talk about"

      "The hell it's not"

      "James, why do you think I'm risking my life for you? It's about Giovanni"

      "What's he got to do with it?"

      "He's alive, and Giovanni's got him in the lab, and he's doing tests, and he's a killer by the looks of it and…"

      "Slow down Tyra, tell me what's happening bit by bit"

      She tried to start her story, but she broke down as she mentioned what she'd seen in the laboratory, and she slumped herself onto the ground to cry acrimoniously into her knees. James felt guilty at how he was making her feel, but in spite of trying to reassure himself that she deserved what she got and worse, he still wished that she wasn't crying because of him. He couldn't ignore his natural instinct any longer, so whilst overlooking his dark mood, he went over to her and helped her up before offering the comfort of his embrace. He hated himself for acting so friendly towards his sole surviving attacker, but he couldn't heartlessly let an old friend act so traumatised in front of him; that would be far too pitiless for his disposition. She felt more pathetic than ever as she was held in his arms, knowing that she loved him, whilst he was merely acting charitable to a weak, useless creature such as herself. She became more soothed as she heard his steady heartbeat from resting her head on his partially exposed torso, so she released as much of the information she could without choking on more sobs, but for some reason she excluded her escape from the building; perhaps it was due to the overwhelming fatigue that entered her system. James couldn't believe what he was hearing, although he knew that there was a high amount of factual information in it, after all, Tyra was a good actress but she wasn't this convincing. If he'd paid full attention to her the night he played away with her, he probably have worked out she had been one of the people that had caused her so much misery. She mournfully muttered that she'd raise the child away from him so he could lead the life he'd made for himself, and his heart was torn between right and wrong when he heard this. Without full knowledge of what he was doing whilst running his fingers through her long hair, he snapped her head upwards and kissed her in a passionate yet gentle manner, and she was too stunned to react immediately. He pulled back from her and whispered that he'd take care of her before pulling her into his arms again, and for some reason the questions racing through his head stopped dead in their tracks and disappeared, even though he knew he was wrong if he was so certain he loved Jessie. He made arrangements for her to come back into the pub the following evening to avoid them being discovered in the daytime, and he made her agree that if, under any circumstances, Jessie was with him, she was either to leave and come at a later stage, or come back the next day. He returned to work half an hour later as he knew they'd be discovered, but after she'd left, the questions that seemed extinct had now repopulated themselves far greater than before. When he returned to his flat at four in the morning, the first thing he saw was the flowers he'd bought Jessie—or rather the smouldering remains of them—in the sink with a note beside it. He felt crushed as he read the advice Jessie had left for him to do himself, and even more hurt when he read what she'd do to him if he ever acted like that to her again. Tears slid down his cheeks as he read it a second time, and he placed it back where he had found it as he switched off the light and headed into the bedroom. When he got there, he saw another note saying 'turn around', and when he did, he saw Jessie with puffed red eyes and looking exhausted who said:

      "I think we have a problem"

      She went over to him and buried her face into his shoulder as she cried for the countless time that night. It was the hardest night both of them had ever experienced, as they lay crying in each other's arms, and they both felt hollow as they fell asleep so miserable.