Strawberry Pocky: Hiro's Diary
Warnings: Shonen-ai, suicidal thoughts and actions, lovesickness, OOCness, cursing
Rating: R...
A/N: This is my first Gravitation fanfic, so bare with me if it's bad... And my chapters are gonna be really short (sorry) But I'm trying to make them longer, and all new ShuxHiro fics that are up have the same idea! I'm so pissed!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Gravitation; sadly it belongs to Murakami Maki. If I did own Gravitation.............................. the world would probably end...
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Days 7-10
10/1/04
It's finally October 1st, the day that I was supposed to tell Shu-chan, not 2 days ago. I don't know... I think I'll play for Bad Luck for a while to see how everything goes, and if it's the same as always than I'll keep playing, if not, than maybe I'll move to America and start a solo career as a guitarist. Just start over as a new person. Forget my old life and move on. I don't get it, how could he turn me down? I thought I had everything, looks, fame, money, but you know, I would give it all up just for Shu-chan.
10/2/04
Today I finally went back to work. I had to, K was threatening to shoot us all if we didn't get out act together. So, I went back to work, it was the same as always, except Shu-chan kept trying to ignore me. It didn't work, cause K kept talking to us like we were best friends. So, naturally, we ended up talking again. But, I don't think our friendship will ever be the same. Dammit! Years of trust all to be given up in a matter of seconds.
Now I'm home and it's about 8:55. I counted the scars on my arm, and there's already 23. 23 scars in 2 or 3 days. What do I do if people see my arm? What if Shu-chan sees it? I can't lie, he'll know. Maybe other people will believe my lies, but Shu-chan won't. He can see right through me.
10/3/04
Just as I said yesterday, Shu-chan saw my arm. I had to tell him the truth. So now he knows that it's his fault if I bleed to death. I think he was horrified, like completely. He started crying, but than again, that's just Shu-chan. I felt so bad for making him cry. I don't wanna do it again, so I went out and brought all long sleeve shirts. Now no one will see. No more making Shu-chan cry, I don't think I could take it if I did it again.
10/4/04
I don't get why Shu-chan keeps eyeing me oddly. I don't think I'll really kill myself, at least not yet. Why must everything bad happen to us Bad Luck? Our band name kinda makes sense. Our band name makes sense. It's the only thing that does make sense in this world. But, I've decided to give up on Shu-chan. I don't think I'll ever be able to get Shu-chan the way I want to. So, now I want.
Come to think of it, K has been eyeing me lately. I'll probably pick K. But what about when K sees my arm? What will he say? I definitely don't want to get shot by an American. But, come to think of it, K does have really nice, blue eyes. You could get lost in them. I think I'll go for K! We both have long hair after all. I'll just have to talk to Shu-chan about why he thinks I'm so weird for cutting myself. Well, time for work!