Fry Hard

Disclaimer: I don't any characters, people or products already previously owned. The only property of mine featured in this fic are the original characters, original products and the island.

Summary: AU. Renowned chefs(or wanna-be chefs...) from around the world are invited to a special cook-off on the secluded island of Parsley Paradise. But the contestants are disappearing, one by one. (Featuring cooks from different anime/shows.)

Warning: Rated for language, violence, and sexual suggestions.

Main Characters featured in this fic are as follows:

Chef's name-anime/show

Pan Uten- (original character)

Rachel(aka Ran)- Case Closed/Detective Conan

Tohru Honda- Fruits Basket

Jet Black- Cowboy Bebop

Emeril- Live With Emeril

Cherry- Saber Marionette J

Risa Harada- D.N.Angel-

Takeshi Saehara- D.N.Angel

Kagome Higurashi- InuYasha

Brock- Pokemon

Kaoru- Rurouni Kenshin

Martha Stewart- Martha Stewart Living

The Other Characters Featured In This Story (It is not necessary that you actually memorize any of this, or read it for that matter, the list is just for your conveniece and information, seeing as there are a large number of original characters.):

Tsuki Aisutai- 17. Female wolf demon. White hair, blue eyes. Complete split personality; sometimes cheerful, other times dead serious. Sou is her boyfriend. Touji is her older brother. Works as a judge and head of security.

Touji Aisutai- 23. Male wolf demon. Black hair, gray eyes. Lecherous, intelligent and a skilled writer, has a way with words. He is always after Roha, but she constantly turns him down. Tsuki is his younger sister. Judge and second in security.

Sou Akari- 17. Male wolf demon. Black hair, dark blue eyes. Mild mannered, jumpy, quiet, and quite formal. Tsuki is his girlfriend although she does frighten him. Master of ceremonies and head of activities.

Roha Hika- 24. Female wolf demon. Black hair, blue eyes. Caring, motherly, has a nasty temper when highly provoked, skilled at healing and medical care. Touji is always after her, but she claims she wants nothing to do with him. Medic.

Spork (True name unknown)- 15. Female squirrel demon. Orange hair, violet eyes. Energetic, hyperactive, everything a squirrel should be. Her best friend is Squirrel. Master of entertainment.

Squirrel (True name unknown)- 15. Female squirrel demon. Red and black hair, blue eyes. Quite similiar to Spork in everyway. Second master of entertainment.

Spatula Uten- 20. Male fox demon. White and black hair, blue eyes. Extremely well mannered, hates nothing and no one, chooses to appear gothic. Dicen is fighting for him, but he is taken. Pan's elder brother. Head of room service.

Nabe "Pan" Uten (almost always goes by nickname)- 18. Female fox demon. Blonde hair, green eyes. Can be as energetic as Spork and Squirrel but is usually calmer, laid back, loves everything kitchen related; plus she adores elephants for God-knows-why. Jagaimo's girlfriend. Spatula's younger brother. Master cook.

Jagaimo Hitu- 18. Male tiger demon. White and gray hair, pale blue eyes. Timid, especially around humans, he looks up to Pelstos as a guardian and close friend. Pan is his girlfriend. Cook.

Dicen Ohkyusa- 19. Female dog demon. White and black hair, brown eyes. Loves gambling, huge risk taker, the more the odds are against her the better. Pan's closest friend. She wants Spatula, but he's taken. Part of entertainment crew and receptionist.

Aurora- 15. Female half wolf demon. Black hair, brown eyes. Cheerful, well mannered, somewhat naive and immature. Receptionist and room service staff member.

Pelstos- Late twenties, early thirties. Male human. Black hair, brown eyes. Almost always drunk, has an incredibly high alcohol intolerance, close friends with Roha; he's usually laid-back but is known to have outbursts on occasion. He is an ex-priest, much to Sou's annoyance. Cook and bartender.

Trey- Unknown age. Female ferret demon. Burgundy hair, crimson eyes (one eye covered by an eyepatch). A calm, laid-back girl, but when angered she can become quite rude. She's a reknowned pirate, captain of her ship. Security and head of luggage.

Kat- 17. Female cat demon. Silver and black hair, green eyes. Hyperactive and a bit random, but kind nonetheless, a bit lazy, enjoys scaring people. Room service and luggage.

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Chapter two: Hentai, Hanyou, Hotels and Hot Springs

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The great white beast of a ship crept cautiously into the harbor, halting beside a large wooden dock. Standing on the dock were five people, all varying in size, gender and age. They were the 'Welcoming Committee' as Tsuki so cheerfully commented.

The first of the five was a tall teenage boy with jet black hair falling over one of his intense gray eyes. It was obvious that he was a wolf demon, for he had gray wolf ears and a bushy gray tail. His name was Touji Aisutai, the elder brother of Tsuki, a writer, poet, artist and-- proud to be--lecher. He was dressed in traditional kimonos with varying shades of gray and white.

Beside him stood a young girl with untamed red and black hair. She could have been Spork's sister, they so greatly resembled each other, right down to the fuzzy brown squirrel ears and tail. Her clothing was similiar as well; baggy dark gray pants, a black tank top with a picture of a pine cone, and black shoes. She was Squirrel; some are unsure if that is her real name, or just a life-long nickname.

Standing just behind Squirrel was a medium height wolf demon appearing in his earlier twenties; his eyes a dark, almost black, blue. His long hair was ebony in color, contrasting his snow white ears, pale skin and white clothing. His clothes weren't modern compared to his companions; the top had kimono styled sleeves that covered his hands, the pants were baggy, held up by a black sash, his shoes were japanese styled black slip- ons. He was the most formal and mature of the bunch, Sou Akari, Tsuki's beloved boyfriend; he was also rather jumpy, easily startled and quick to apologize.

On the other side of Touji was a young, tall boy with bright blue eyes; his short, spiked hair was almost entirely white except for a few random black tufts. It is fairly difficult to tell if he is a wolf or fox demon, for his ears and tail were white, with black tips. He is Spatula Uten, an ever caring young man, his bright attitude counteracted by his black, leather clothing, mutliple silver earrings and overall gothic appearance.

Beside Spatula was his younger sister, Pan, the chef in charge of this entire event. Her intense green eyes matched her clothing perfectly, accented by her bushy orange fox tail and dark brown fox ears. She was rather fidgety at the moment, constantly brushing stray tufts of blonde hair out of her face or under her green and black baseball cap. Her top was a baggy green T-shirt with the words 'K.O.T. Rox' on it in black, her pants were dark emerald jeans, and her shoes were forest green and white sneakers.

As the ship pulled into the dock and the gangplank placed down, Tsuki was the first off board. With a cheerful laugh, she tackle-hugged Sou, sending the nervous boy tumbling head-over-heels. Spork, thundering down the gangplank like a herd of elephants, threw herself at Squirrel with a gleeful cheer to alert her best friend.

The guests were next off the ship; Conan and Ein leading the way, quickly followed by Rachel and Risa, chatting away happily. Emeril and Takeshi were deep in conversation about their expensive, state of the art camcorders, oblivious to all else in the world. Tohru and Kagome were enjoying a wonderful talk about taking care of the 'animals' in their lives. The ever polite Cherry and Kaoru had also made fast friends, finding they had so much in common. Martha was one of the last off, busy berating her edgy assistant for jumbling up her precious luggage; she had also somehow talked Brock and Jet into carrying some of her oversize, heavy pink suitcases.

Roha was the very last off the ship, a hand held to her head in what appeared to be an attempt to avoid being seen. But it was to no avail, Touji spotted her the second she stepped onto the gangplank.

Trying to be noble, he offered an arm to the young demon. "Can I help you, my Lady."

Roha simply glared at Touji, "Buzz off, Lech." She pushed past him, muttering about perverts trying to act like gentlemen.

Touji, unfazed by Roha's decline of his offer, hurried to her side. He grinned wickedly, "My Lady, this plank is slippery, I do suggest you take my arm so as you do not injure that cute little bottom of yours." He winked, eyeing Roha's backside.

Roha's ears flattened, her blue eyes narrowing dangerously, "Stop trying to be noble, Perv. It isn't going to work, I know your true nature all to well." Her hands clenched into fists as Touji continued his audacious staring. "Stop that!" She promptly delivered a sharp slap to the writer's face.

Touji held the injured side of his face sadly. "It is said that lechers make better actors than actors make lechers," he recited before winking again, "So, ya wanna see some real stars?"

Turning her nose up at the repulsive offer, Roha growled out between clenched teeth, "The saying is 'Conmen make better actors than actors make conmen', moron." She suddenly faced the wolf, lowering her eyelids in what appeared as a seductive manner, "So, you want to see stars, huh?"

Touji nodded vigorously, a wide grin on his face as his prayers were answered.

Roha's expressions quickly changed to a scowl as she raised her fist threateningly, "Then I'll make you see stars!" She promptly began chasing Touji in circles around the dock, the writer always staying just two steps ahead of her.

Tsuki blinked a few times, watching the pair as they raced in circles. Shaking her head, she addressed the baffled guests, "Please excuse them, they have a few bugs to work out of their relationship." She stepped to one side, allowing Sou to speak to the guests.

"Welcome to Parsley Paradise. This peaceful island will be your home for the next for weeks." Sou bowed politely, "You will be staying at the five star resort 'Ookami Manor', where you will be treated to excellent meals, rooms and care. The hot springs, gym, sauna, pool and dojo are available to everyone. I hope you enjoy your stay." He bowed again as Pan stepped in front of him.

She surveyed the contestant chefs with her bright emerald eyes, "Welcome indeed! As you all know, you are here to partake in a contest to determine World's Greatest Chef. We will have one cooking event a day, all rules and judging will be explained tomorrow before the first contest." She bowed elegantly, ignoring Spork and Squirrel as they imitated her. "Until then, you have free access to anywhere on this island, except, of course, places with the 'Employees Only' signs." She glanced around at the seemingly satisfied group, "Any questions?"

Rachel raised her hand timidly, "Uhh, is it all right that I brought along Conan?" She gestured to the boy as he sat beside Ein. "I couldn't find a babysitter." She didn't catch the annoyed scowl from Conan as she smiled apologetically at Pan.

The fox demon smiled down at Conan, "Do I mind? Heaven's no! I love kids!" She narrowed her intense eyes at the two squirrel demons as they suddenly went into fits of giggles. Both demons promptly shut up.

Jet suddenly raised his synthetic hand to catch Pan's attention, "Same question, except I brought a dog instead of a kid."

Pan grinned, "Same answer. I don't mind dogs or kids at all." She patted both Conan and Ein on the head.

Martha scoffed, "This is unfair! I would have brought my beloved dogs if I had known it was allowed." She looked highly offended.

Pan's ears flattened as she eyed the haughty woman, "I beg your pardon, Ms. Stewart, but I do believe you brought your assistant. One extra guest per person, although it was not specified. So please do not take that tone with me, if you wish to get home in a boat," she smiled innocently, her voice changing to an off-topic, idle tone, "I hear the waters near here are shark infested." With a wave of her hand, she led the group down the long dock.

Martha immediately kept quiet, doing her best to ignore Emeril's snickering as he nudged her side, "She told you, eh?"

"Shut up." Martha retorted under her breath.

Emeril raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "What, only two words from a woman so highly reknowned for her extensive, eloquant speeches?"

Martha narrowed her eyes at the chef, "I have two more words for you. Green card." Without waiting for another snide remark from Emeril, she followed the group as they headed for a large, mansion like building a few yards off the beach.

The three story building was built entirely out of a light colored wood; its walls unpainted and bare of any adornments. Hanging above the dark green painted doors was a large wooden sign with the words 'Ookami Manor' engraved in fat, blocky letters. Surrounding the building were various, multicolored tropical plants, giving the place a secluded, peaceful feel. Each floor level had multiple windows with green trimming. Overall, the place was large but out of the way, not intruding upon the lively forest or quiet white beach. It had both the designs of a tropical resort and of an old-style japanese mansion.

As Pan stepped onto the porch bordering the entire outside of the building, the doors were pulled open by two demons. Pan nodded to the pair as she led the group inside and to a large lobby desk, behind it sat another demon.

Pan leaned over to desk, talking in a quiet tone to the receptionist demon, "Aurora-san, please get all the room keys for our guests. And alert Ja-chan and Pelstos that they should prepare dinner." She smiled as Aurora nodded. Turning to face the guests, she raised her voice so all could hear her, "You will all be issued your room keys now, some of luggage crew will aid in carrying your stuff. In about one hour dinner will be ready, I must go assist my cooks in the preparations, so I will see you later." With a quick bow she left down a long hall.

Aurora, not a full blooded demon, but a half wolf, stood up, facing the guests. With a polite bow, she addressed everyone, "Greetings, my name is Aurora, it's my job to make sure your stay is as comfortable and entertaining as possible. If you desire a nap, beds are in your rooms. The bathing house is just across the courtyard, which is accessable by the back door of your room. Unless, of course, you're on the second or third floor, then you must go downstairs to access the courtyard." She picked up a box filled with small silver keys, each with a golden number engraved in it, "If you will each step forward one at a time, I will give you your keys."

In a few minutes the keys had been issued, Aurora placed the empty box in a drawer in her desk. Looking up at the two demons still standing beside the door, she clapped her hands, "Trey, Dicen. Please assist any of our guests who need help with their things." Putting two fingers in her mouth, she whistled shrilly. Seconds later a young cat demon appeared, "Kat, help with the luggage, please."

Kat saluted, "Okie!" She picked up Jet, Brock and Takeshi's luggage as she bounced up a flight of stairs, "This way!" The three men had to work fairly hard to keep up with the energetic feline.

After reaching the top of the stairs, Kat led the men down a long hall, arriving at a door with a silver number hanging on it. "Mr. Black, this is your room. Enjoy." She bowed slightly, stepping away from the first door and facing a new one.

Jet entered his room after retrieving his luggage from Kat, "C'mon, Ein." The brown and white Welsh corgi waddled in after the man.

Kat gestured to the second door, "Mr. Takeshi." She nodded, allowing Takeshi to enter his room. She pointed to a third door, "And by process of elimination, this is your room Mr. Brock."

"Thank you." Brock tilted his head in gratitude before opening the door to his room.

Dicen had also immediately helped Risa, Kagome, Cherry and Kaoru with their bags. "Follow me please." She led the way down a hall, the girls following the cheerful dog demon.

As they walked down the hall, four doors similiar to the others became visible. Dicen halted before the first, "Ms. Cherry, this is yours."

Cherry bowed politely, "Thank you very much." She delicately took her single bag from Dicen's hand as she opened the door, entering with another quiet 'thank you'.

Dicen turned to face the three remaining girls, "I would escort each of you to your respective rooms, but I really must hurry and help prepare for dinner. Your room number is the same as on the key, and they are all right down this hall." She bowed her head quickly, "Sorry to be so hasty." With a wave of her hand she departed, leaving the three women to enter their rooms unescorted.

Trey rubbed her hands together eagerly before taking Emeril, Rachel, and Conan's things, "Your rooms are in this direction." Rachel nodded, following right behind the ferret. Conan walked beside Trey, eyes focused on the demon's black silk eyepatch.

"How did you lose your eye?" Conan asked brazenly.

Rachel blinked in shock at the boy. "Conan, don't be so rude!" She reprimanded.

Conan glanced down at his feet, "Sorry."

Trey laughed, "It's okay." She bent down to face Conan, lifting the eyepatch to reveal her perfectly fine right eye. "It's just for props; a proper pirate can't go without an eyepatch." She straightened again, "Even if it does ruin my depth presception." Halting, she peered at the door to her left, "Ah, this is your room, Mr. Emeril." She dropped the chef's luggage rather roughly on the ground, leaving him without a further word.

The ferret demon hurried down the hall, Rachel and Conan close behind her. She stopped so suddenly both guests nearly crashed into her. "These are your rooms, they are connected by a door, as was instructed by Pan." Trey smiled, ruffling Conan's hair, "Enjoy your stay." With a quick wink-- that could have been called a blink with her eyepatch--Trey left the way she had come.

Martha Stewart was the only guest still standing in the lobby--along with her assistant. Aurora peered at the woman over her magazine, seemingly just noticing her for the first time. Jumping to her feet in overdramatization, Aurora bowed apologetically, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Ms. Stewart. Your room is right down that hall, first door on the right." She gestured with one clawed hand, "I'm terribly sorry about that."

Martha simply flipped her hair at the half demon as she walked down the hall. "Come, Antonio," she barked at her assistant--still laden with the multiple suitcases. Antonio followed obediently beyond the woman.

Aurora shook her head sadly, "People really shouldn't treat others like that." She snickered to herself, "What a bitch." She recieved a sharp smack to the back of her head with a newspaper. "Ow!"

Sou chuckled dryly, waving the newspaper, "It isn't polite to speak to our guests like that, Auro-chan." He absently brushed a strand of ebony hair from his face. "Is everything going as planned?" he asked.

With a quick salute, Aurora answered in a low voice, "Yep. Everything is a-okay." She gave the priest a thumbs up.

Sou nodded in approval, "Good. Keep it up, Hanyou." He smacked her lightly on the head with the newspaper before leaving.

Aurora smirked as she returned to reading her magazine in peace.

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Dinner had been fairly uneventful, most of the staff and guests were too worn out for conversation. Everyone had simply eaten their meals, the silence increasing all the while.

Afterwords, everyone had gone their seperate ways; the staff heading off to clean up and prepare for the contest in the morning, the guests heading to their rooms. Except for Cherry and Kagome, both girls had the same idea in mind: take advantage of the hot springs while everyone else is in their rooms.

Cherry was relaxing in the steamy waters when Kagome appeared dressed in a pink and yellow one-piece bathing suit.

"Oh, sorry!" Kagome apologized, turning to leave.

"It's all right. This hot spring is big enough for all of us." Cherry smiled, gesturing to the incredibly spacious pool.

Kagome nodded her head, "Thank you." She immediately submerged herself in the hot water. "Ah, this is relaxing."

Cherry nodded, "Yes, it is." She glanced around to make sure no one was listening, "What do you think of the demons?"

Kagome frowned slightly as she searched for the right words, "I'm used to murderous demons, so these guys aren't at all bad. Those two squirrels though, they're...eccentic. Some of the others seem really nice, but I'm making sure to steer clear of that Touji guy. Miroku's enough of a hentai for me to worry about. And Pan's kind, but there's just something about her that's..." she trailed off, unsure of how to finish her thought.

"Like she's hiding something?" Cherry provided.

Kagome giggled, "Exactly." She relaxed against the rock wall, sighing with pleasure.

Cherry did the same, closing her eyes and dozing off into a comfortable slumber. She did not see the shadow looming over Kagome, nor hear the muffled scream of fright as the girl was pulled from the springs and dragged off into the nearby forest.

When Cherry did wake, it was from a frantic shaking by someone. "Cherry! Cherry, wake up!" A voice pleaded.

Cherry's eyes fluttered open, "What?" She looked into the wide, worried eyes of Kaoru. "Ms. Kaoru, what's wrong?" She looked around, all the guests and staff were present, everyone looking around as if searching for something or someone.

Tsuki suddenly knelt beside the baffled marionette, "Cherry-san, did you see or hear Kagome come here?"

Cherry nodded slowly, "Yes. She was here, in the hot springs, sitting just a few feets from me. Where is she now?"

Tsuki looked worried, "That's what we'd like to know. I went to deliver a letter to her and she wasn't in her room. I followed her scent trail to here, but I lost the scent in the water." She glanced around as if expecting Kagome to just appear from under the surface of the water, "But she isn't here."

Conan, like the detective that he is, was searching the ground near where Kagome had sat. "Hey! Look what I found!" Rachel and Sou were the first at his side. Conan pointed at the ground, "Paw prints." There were indeed paw prints sunken deep into the damp soil and nearly the size of Jet's thick torso.

Rachel knelt down, examining the paw prints, "Those are big paw prints. Are there any animal on this island big enough to make those?"

Sou shook his head in response. "Not that I know of."

Aurora tapped Sou's shoulder, "What about someone's demon form? Those prints are big enough for a demon's paw."

Sou rocked back on his heels, "True, but the only demons on this island are us. And we were all together for the last three hours."

Tsuki frowned, "Then who kidnapped Kagome?"

"And why?" Conan added.

Everyone present looked down at their feet as they tried to think up a logical answer. The enormous paw prints leading into the quiet, shadowy woods their only clue.

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End of Chapter Two

KT: Muahaha! I love cliffhangers! Give me some suggestions, who do you want to see go next? And Kat-chan, I hope you like your role! Domo arigatou for joining the staff my oh-so-random friend.