Disclaimer: Paramount owns the characters, but I own this universe so bugger off!
Author's note: Sorry that this has taken for ever and ever and ever and ever to post, I really didn't intend for it to take so long. My computer crashed, and three months later I gave up on the hopes of ever getting that chapter back again, and rewrote this. Personally I think I've done a better job second time round, so maybe the wait was better than getting a shitty part three.
Oh yeah, this may contain some bad language, like it does in the note above, but nothing too bad.
Thanks to the Queen for going through and Beta-ing this, you're a star.
Part three (finally)
It was three days since Chakotay had found out that he was married to a Cardassian, and so much had happened in those few days that it had started to make his head spin. First Voyager's Captain had confined Seska to the brig after their fears had been confirmed; that she was in fact Cardassian. Then, after a couple of days of Kathryn agonising over what to do with her; hand her over to the Maquis where she would probably be unlawfully executed, or hand her into StarFleet, where it really was none of their business to deal with her, Seska had committed suicide.
After everyone had found out that she was a Cardassian spy, few tears were shed, and those tears that were shed were more from anger, than from sorrow. Chakotay had attempted to stay hidden in the small guest quarters, but had been coaxed out when he had heard of the fighting occurring between his restless Maquis crew. At seeing that they were causing him more stress, they had agreed not to fight amongst each other, and concentrate their anger for the true enemy.
Kathryn and Chakotay walked silently down the corridor. They had been walking in silence since they had left the service, and the lack of conversation was starting to worry Kathryn. "Quite a few people turned out in the end," she looked round as he spoke, "more than I expected."
"You weren't expecting many?"
"I wasn't expecting anyone," he replied honestly.
They walked without speaking for a moment longer, "I think most of them were there for you Chakotay, not her."
He thought about it for a moment, "why do you say that?"
She shrugged, "no one gave a speech of any significance, no one cried, and everyone came up afterwards and gave you some comforting words or a pat on the back."
"They're a good crew aren't they?" he said with a sigh.
She smiled gently at him, "a crew is only as good as its Captain."
He let out a hollow and ironic laugh; "I can't be a very good Captain, having let a Cardassian spy get by me for so many years."
"Everyone has his or her weaknesses Chakotay," she attempted soothingly.
"And my weakness is that I suck as a cell leader," he said as they rounded a corner.
Kathryn smiled across at him, "your weakness Chakotay is that you're easily swayed by women. Other than that, you're a great Captain, with a great crew."
There was a beat of silence, "so what's your weakness?"
They came to a halt outside her quarters and she turned to him with a sly grin, "coffee," she replied as she tapped in her access codes and they both entered through the doors.
Tom Paris who had been baby sitting, got up from the sofa, leaving the book that he had been reading on the coffee table and smiled widely across at Kathryn. "They're both asleep," he told her before she even had to ask, and looked over to the basinet by the side of the sofa, "Taya took a while to settle down, but I haven't heard anything except snoring from Aaron for quite some time."
She closed the gap between them and placed a hand on Tom's shoulder, "thank you," she smiled.
The pilot nodded, "anytime," he said, as he made his way towards the door, nodding an acknowledgement to Chakotay before he left.
Once the doors had closed, Chakotay made his way over to where Taya was sleeping, "do you get Tom to baby sit for you often?" he asked.
She came up behind him and looked over his shoulder at the four-month-old baby, "he's Aaron's unofficial god father," he replied.
Chakotay turned to face her, studying her for a few moments as she continued to gaze down at his daughter. Eventually she looked round at him and frowned, "what?"
"Nothing," he said stepping back a little, "just trying to figure you out."
She blushed at his words, "well while you're doing that I'm just going to check on Aaron," she said, making her way towards his room.
He nodded and sat himself down on the sofa, briefly picking up the book that Tom had earlier put down and flicking casually through the pages. About a minute later Kathryn reappeared, and gave Chakotay one of the grins that he was falling in love with. "Do you want to stay for a coffee, or just take Taya back to your quarters?" she asked.
He thought for a moment, "no, I'd better not; Taya will probably start crying soon, and I don't want her to wake up Aaron," he made his excuse, "but maybe another time."
Kathryn's smile dropped and she studied his face for a moment, "are you going to be okay?" she asked.
He knew what she meant and smiled as best he could, "I've been through worse," he said with a shrug.
"You've been through too much," she said quietly, "but if you need anyone to talk to, up until tomorrow you can speak to me."
"Tomorrow?" he looked questioningly at her.
"The Maquis ship," she prompted, "we rendezvous tomorrow."
"Oh yes," he looked a little disappointed, but quickly neutralised his disappointed face, "I'd almost forgotten." Carefully he lifted the basinet from the ground, thanked Kathryn and left.
V
The Maquis ship had met them on time, and Voyager was finally free of most of their Maquis passengers. Kathryn was just about to tap her commbadge, to ask Tuvok how many were left, when the bleep sounded at the doors to her waiting room. "Enter," she said, looking expectantly at the doors.
Chakotay entered, as suggested through the doors, and gave her a small smile. She returned the smile, but to a fuller extent. "StarFleet has contacted me, and agree with my decision to return you and your crew to the Maquis vessel."
"And what if they had have disagreed?" he asked as he went to sit beside her on the sofa.
She shrugged, "same as what's happening now."
He frowned, "this is what I don't get?"
The frown was reflected back on her face, "You don't get what?"
"Are you a Maquis sympathiser or not?"
She looked a little taken aback by his question, and hesitated on whether or not to make a response.
"What I mean is; you were sent after my ship, and when I destroyed my ship you arrested us as we returned to the alpha quadrant. Then, you invited me to dinner, in your quarters," he met her gaze, "and now we have a son. The second time you run into my ship, you save us, and returning us to the Maquis, but you still ask StarFleet to confirm your decision. Now, you're telling me that even if they told you to arrest us again, you wouldn't."
Kathryn shrugged, "and what don't you get from that?"
"Why didn't you join the Maquis?"
She paused a moment before she sighed heavily, "Chakotay, I'm not that hard to figure out, just as long as you know one thing: that StarFleet is my life. I was more or less born a StarFleet officer, and I don't know any other way. Sure, I don't always agree with the Federation's decisions, but at the end of the day, I agree with many more than I disagree with, and if a war can be avoided, if only for a few years, then I think it's worth a shot."
"Even if it means that innocent lives are lost in the meantime?" he challenged.
She thought to herself for a moment, and then shook her head, "we all approach things in different ways Chakotay, and the Maquis way of doing things has never really appealed to me."
He took her answer and nodded slowly, letting his eyes drop to the floor and a deep sigh escaped his lips as he did so. "What's all this about?" she questioned.
At first he didn't answer, but eventually he lifted his head and met her gaze, "I'm not going on the Maquis ship."
Kathryn frowned, "then how are you going to get back?"
"Back to what?" he said a little harsher than he meant to, "my home was destroyed in some of the initial Cardassian attacks, most of the Cardassians that were responsible are now dead, and I'm finding myself fight the Dominion who had nothing to do with the destruction of my home. And as for the Maquis," he said a little exasperated, "half our outposts have been destroyed, not a day goes by without an average of five Maquis dying per ship. And what have we really achieved?!"
"You helped to highlight the Cardassians as the federation's enemies."
He snorted, "we were nothing more than a thorn in their side that they felt they could ignore, we were just a catalyst for the inevitable."
She paused, finding nothing else that she could say to counter his desire to leave. "And where would you go?"
Chakotay leant back heavily on the sofa and looked at the far wall opposite him. "I know a few places that I could hide out, Cardassian free, and where the federation won't be able to find me."
"And Taya would go with you?"
He shrugged, "I guess."
Reaching out, she placed a hand on his shoulder, "are you sure you're not just saying this because of everything that has happened in the past few days?"
He looked back at her, his eyes a deeper shade of brown than she had ever previously realised, "no, it's something that I've been thinking about for some time now. It's just, I've never had such a strong desire to leave before; who knows how many Cardassian spies are already working within the Maquis?"
The grip on his shoulder loosened and slipped off, "I'll get Tuvok to inform your crew that you won't be returning with them."
"No," he said abruptly, "I can tell them myself."
V
Some of the crew took it well, and understood where their cell leader was coming from. Others called him a traitor and felt equally betrayed by him as they had Seska. B'Elanna wasn't quite sure how she felt about Chakotay once he had told her that he was leaving the Maquis, but it definitely wasn't acceptance. She attempted to persuade him to stay, but he refused, and so told him that if he didn't stay with the Maquis, then neither would she, and so after a brief discussion with Janeway, it was decided that she could also stay on board Voyager until they reached a transport station.
Two days later and Kathryn sat on a quiet bridge going through status reports. Voyager's next destination was a planet named Quados that had been the latest and unfortunate target for Cardassian and Dominion attacks. The small planet that belonged to a solar system containing four other official planets had been part of the federation for a great many decades, but only twelve years previously had it been decided that the planet would be transformed from its L status, to that of M; inhabitable.
The scientists working on it had stayed on the planet for eleven years, but as the threat of the Cardassians became greater and greater, they had decided to leave and pursue other scientific projects, with the hope of one day returning to Quados. Therefore, the attack had been fruitless in the sense that it had not killed any federation citizens, but bountiful in that it had set the federation back another planet that could sustain life.
Harry Kim's voice came as a little of a surprise to Kathryn after having sat in silence for so long, but she put down the computer console positioned between her and Tuvok and looked across at the maturing ensign.
"Captain, I'm detecting two Cardassian ships on an intercept course."
"Shields," she growled, "and go to red alert. Tom, get us out of here, maximum warp."
"Yes ma'am."
Tuvok was rushing over to relieve the crewman standing at the tactical station when the ship suddenly shook, fortunately he was not far from the console, and leaned against it to prevent being thrown to the floor. Before Kathryn had a chance to think, the ship shook again, this time more violently.
"Return fire," she shouted over to Tuvok, who quickly complied.
Again Voyager was shot at, this time some sparks flew from a couple of consoles. "Shields are down to fifty percent."
"Tuvok, target their weapons," she commanded, just in case he wasn't already.
"It's having no effect," he replied after a beat, gripping the console firmly after the ship was fired at again.
They were out numbered, outgunned, and there was no chance of back up. The Captain knew it, Tuvok knew it, and the entire bridge crew knew it, but Kathryn attempted to look calm and composed, in an attempt to give her crew some hope that she had a clue what to do.
"Shields are down to twenty percent," Tuvok reported after another volley of shots.
Suddenly the ship jerked, and Tom looked a little more panicked as his hands flew over the helm controls, "Captain, warp engines are offline."
"Engineering is reporting a large energy surge in the warp core," Kim said over the commotion.
"The Cardassian vessels have dropped out of warp also," Tuvok informed.
"Tom, out manoeuvre them," she ordered just before slapping her comm. badge, "Janeway to engineering, we need warp back online."
Kathryn was a little surprised, to say the least, when instead of hearing Jo Carey's voice over the comm. system, she instead heard that of the marquis member Torres. "Where's Mr Carey?" she demanded.
"In sickbay," B'Elanna said snappily, "the warp engines are more or less dead, I don't think I can give you warp for at least another five hours."
"You have five minutes at best," Kathryn informed the engineer, "we need warp."
There was a pause on the other end, from engineering; "how about a short burst of warp?" she was offered as the ship shook again violently.
"Captain, I'm not sure how much longer I can hold off the worst of their shots with only thrusters," Tom informed her in a strained voice.
Kathryn looked over at Harry, but continued to speak to B'Elanna, "how much, and how long?"
"Warp two, for maybe three minutes or so," she was told.
Harry, getting his Captain's silent order had already started scanning the area for viable options, and with the new information reported, "there's a large asteroid field that we could make it to in less than two minutes; we could hide in an asteroid and shut off power."
"To be blown by pieces when they start randomly blowing up the asteroids," Tom said snidely, "yeah, this is going to work."
"Have any better ideas?" Kathryn challenged, and he stayed silent. "Ms Torres, when can you give me a warp burst?"
"Now," came the reply through the comm. badge.
"Tom," Kathryn said tersely, and before they knew it Voyager slipped off through space.
"There's a asteroid with a cavity large enough for Voyager," Harry informed his Captain.
"The asteroid is lined with Vellian which will amplify a blast from a Cardassian ship," Tuvok said, seeing the same readings that Harry was observing.
"But it will also protect Voyager from their scans, meaning that we can still run on minimal power without being detected," Harry was quick to counter.
"If we're blown up we're blown up," Kathryn pointed out, "it doesn't really matter how bit the explosion is."
Voyager dropped out of its warp burst, "head for the asteroid Tom."
"Captain, were venting plasma," Harry said as Voyager made its way at impulse towards his suggestion for a hide out.
"Engineering to the Bridge," she instantly recognised Chakotay's voice, "you've probably detected that Voyager's venting plasma."
"Is there a particular reason for that?" she asked, making a mental note to ask later how both Maquis members got passed the security lockouts.
The two Cardassian ships emerged out of warp, before Voyager had a change to get into their hiding place.
"Fire at the plasma with phasers, it should ignite," Chakotay finally explained.
The Captain nodded over at her first officer and he followed out her silent order. The explosion was silent in space, and Voyager and the Cardassian ships suffered little to no damage, but it was enough for them to be confused and lose Voyager on their scanners. With no further distractions Voyager slipped into the asteroid's cavity, and hid.
V
"Mind telling me how the two of you bypassed all of Voyager's security lock outs?" Kathryn demanded as she entered her ready room with Tuvok right behind her, and B'Elanna and Chakotay already waiting patiently inside.
"No offence Captain, but if we hadn't have bypassed them, Voyager would be nothing more than space debris by now," B'Elanna replied, totally missing Chakotay's warning look.
The Captain turned sharply to the half Klingon, and closed the gap a little between the two of them. "It's nice to know that you have so much faith in me Ms Torres," Kathryn said icily, through clenched teeth.
"Faith has nothing to do with it Captain," B'Elanna somehow managed to restrain herself and keep a respectful distance between herself and Janeway, but her patience was slowly running thin. "I realised that we were under attack, I went to engineering with Chakotay, your chief engineer was unconscious, and your engineering crew were in the middle of a debate as to who was in charge. If I hadn't have stepped in, then they would still be having that debate in their space graves!"
Out of the corner of her eye, Kathryn saw Chakotay suppress a smirk, but decided to ignore it. "Ms Torres, all it would have taken is one call to the bridge, to inform me that the warp core was over loading, and that you needed to shut down the engines..."
"Yes, and during that one call, your ship could have been blown up, I was perfectly within my rights to do what I did; if you want to go on a suicide mission, then go on it by all accounts, just wait until I'm no longer on board."
Kathryn gritted her teeth, "you knocked unconscious two members of my engineering staff."
"Actually," Chakotay said calmly, "I was responsible for one of them."
She shot him a glare, and then tried to take a calming breath. It worked, to some extent, and she was able to deliver her next line without clenching her teeth. "The point is, that how ever noble your ideas, Voyager's security systems were still bypassed, my own crew undermined by nothing more than 'guests', and two of them made unconscious, thanks to your joint efforts. Unfortunately, I cannot punish you, as neither of you are part of my crew, I can however, restrict you to quarters until we have reached a space station."
B'Elanna looked about ready to retort, but Chakotay held up his hand for her to stop. She looked fiercely at him, and he shook his head, "we should do what Captain Janeway says," he told her steadily.
She shot Kathryn a dirty look before returning her gaze back to Chakotay, "so she tells you that you're her son's father, and suddenly you're willing to do what ever she tells you to."
If he felt awkward by what she had just said, he didn't show it, although from the corner of his eye he saw Kathryn stiffen at her words. "I'm saying that we should do as the Captain suggests, as this is her ship."
B'Elanna looked between Chakotay and Voyager's Captain, before deciding that she wasn't going to win the argument.
"Okay, I've had enough of this," Kathryn had regained her composure, and turned to Tuvok, "please escort Ms Torres back to her temporary quarters."
Tuvok glanced over at Chakotay, but didn't make any comment, and quietly escorted B'Elanna from the room.
No sooner had they gone, and Kathryn snapped her head round to Chakotay, "you told her!"
"We're still stuck in the middle of an asteroid. I don't think that this is the best of time to be talking about that," he responded calmly.
"Right," Kathryn said cynically, "I'll get a security team to escort you back to your quarters.
"I didn't say I thought we shouldn't talk," he cut in.
"About what?" she folded her arms and glared right at him.
He held strong under her gaze, "B'Elanna is the best chief engineer that I've ever met, while your chief is incapacitated, I suggest that you use her skills to get your warp core back online."
Kathryn dropped her arms and walked away from him, "I must admit that my head is still spinning at how she was able to give us any warp power at all. And I am grateful that she was able to prevent our warp core overloading, however unorthodox her methods were," she said now facing the window with a good distance between them. She spun round suddenly, "but she has no control over her anger, knocking two of my engineers unconscious proved that."
"Then let me stay with her, I know B'Elanna, I can defuse a situation before one occurs," Chakotay pleaded.
"She has no respect for authority," Kathryn went on, "and you obviously have no respect for me."
He paused, "what do you mean?"
"I asked you not to tell anyone that you're Aaron's father, but then you go and tell her!"
"B'Elanna is my best friend," Chakotay insisted.
Kathryn took a deep breath, and her shoulders slumped somewhat, for a moment Chakotay saw her fatigue, but then noticed with some admiration how she was able to hide her sheer exhaustion within moments of exhaling. Pinching the bridge of her nose she nodded slowly, "you're right, we can talk about this later," and then after a pause, "I'll discuss your proposition with Tuvok and let you know my final decision by the end of today."
She looked back at him and he nodded. "Can I be trusted to return go so sick bay alone, or will I need a security escort?"
"Sick bay?" Kathryn frowned, "are you injured?"
He shook his head with a small smile, "I left Aaron and Taya with that EMH," he explained.
"Oh," Kathryn said a little surprised, then as it dawned upon her that she had totally forgotten about her son, she repeated with word with a little more astonishment, "Oh!"
Chakotay smiled almost knowingly, "maybe you would like to escort me there," he suggested.
For a moment she looked torn. He assumed between her duties as ship's Captain, and the role of motherhood, but eventually she gave in and nodded slowly, "okay, seeing as I can give orders over the comm. from anywhere on the bridge."
With that, the two of them left her ready room and headed across the bridge for the turbo lift.
V
They arrived in sickbay to be greeted by a rather disgruntled hologram. "I'm a emergency medical hologram," the Doctor stated as the two of them arrived in Doctor Parson's office, "not a baby-sitter."
Chakotay smiled as he took his daughter from the hologram's arms. "We should rename you then," he said, "the emergency baby-sitting hologram."
Kathryn attempted to restrain a grin at his suggestion, but was unsuccessful. Aaron ran up to her from where he had been sitting at Parson's desk, and wrapped his arms around his mother's legs. With a reassuring smile she bent down to pick him up, securing him on her hip. "I hear they're bringing out a mark 2 of the EMH design," she said to Chakotay with a sideways glance to the Doctor, "maybe the mark 2 will be more compliant."
Suddenly the hologram looked very worried. "A mark 2," he echoed, "where did you hear this?"
But before he could get a response the Captain and Chakotay had already walked out of the doors. He was about to make his way after them, when Kathryn remembered to turn off the hologram, and within moments his projection was stored safely back on the ship's computer.
V
In the end Chakotay got his way, and B'Elanna was placed in charge of engineering under the beady watch of Vorik. The engineering crew were at first opposed to the idea of following out her orders as they were all so loyal to Carey, but after seeing the true extent of her skill as an engineer as Voyager evaded the Cardassians, they decided that she wasn't that bad.
Chakotay and B'Elanna never did quite make it to a space station. Jo Carey died only days after his severe head injury, and so Kathryn decided to keep B'Elanna on until they could find a replacement chief engineer. After a quick word to StarFleet, it was also decided that Chakotay could stay onboard Voyager as a Cardassian advisor, as he had been dealing with them for many more years than Kathryn, and with all his knowledge of Maquis tricks and shortcuts, it was decided that he could be nothing short of an asset to the ship.
It was another month before Voyager made its way back to Earth. Some Cardassian ships had managed to make their way through the defence perimeter surrounding Earth, and had come close to causing havoc. Fortunately, Voyager, along with three other ships had managed to defeat the small Armada, and being only a couple of light years from Earth, were ordered back to headquarters, for repairs, crew exchange, and some well deserved rest.
Kathryn entered her quarters with the intention of packing a few things before returning to her apartment in San Francisco with Aaron. Voyager was held in a safe orbit, and with the ship fairly quiet, she had finally put a few minutes aside to prepare for her transport back to Earth. The lights were dimmed when she entered her quarters, she frowned, not remembering dimming them, then she noticed a peach rose lying on the coffee table. With a small smile, and the frown not entirely removed from her face, she crossed the room towards it, picking it up and carefully studying it.
Looking around the room once more, she noticed a trail of rose petals leading towards her bedroom. With intrigue she made her ways towards her bedroom doors, entering through them to find the room carefully lit with candles. Ignoring the safety hazard, her attention was drawn to another rose lying on the centre of her bed. She was about to make her way over to it, when she felt two strong arms slip around her waist, and he bent his head to place small kisses down her neck.
A soft groan escaped her lips, partially in surprise, and partially because he had found the spot on her neck that made her weak at the knees. She turned round in his arms and kissed him tenderly on the lips, but the tenderness quickly faded and was replaced with raw passion. She allowed the kiss to continue for a few moments longer, but eventually broke away, placing her fingers on his lips to prevent any further advances. "Donnie," she breathed, "what are you doing here?"
He smiled darkly, "what do you think?"
She dodged another advance and realising that some explanation was needed, he dropped his arms from around her, and sat down on the edge of the bed. "We were called back from our mission early, when some of the Cardassians got through the perimeter, StarFleet's short of a few ships at the moment and we've been called back to take perimeter duty."
Kathryn sighed, "and you didn't try to call and warn me that you were coming back to Earth?"
Donnie smiled softly, "and have the surprise ruined?"
She looked at him for a moment, ready to give him the third degree on how he got aboard her ship without being noticed, but the months apart from him got the better of her, and shaking her head of all questions she pushed him down on the bed and kissed him as he pulled her with him.
V
Chakotay waited patiently outside Kathryn's quarters with Aaron holding his hand, telling him all about his grandmother's home in Indiana that he was going to visit. He pressed the buzzer again, and within seconds Kathryn answered, wrapped in a silk dressing gown and looking rather flustered.
"Sorry," he needlessly apologised, "I thought you said to drop Aaron back at about seventeen hundred hours."
"I did," Kathryn said, still standing in the doorway, "what time is it?"
"Five past," Chakotay said with a small grin.
Realising the she was blocking the entrance, Kathryn took a step back, and Chakotay and Aaron entered. "You weren't waiting long out there were you? I didn't hear the buzzer until I was out of the sonic shower."
He shook his head, "no, Aaron's just been telling me about your mother's home in Indiana..." Chakotay started, but didn't finish as his attention was diverted at hearing his son shout out 'daddy' and drop Chakotay's hand.
They both looked over towards Aaron who was running towards a tall man with dark brown hair, contrasting greatly to his deep blue eyes wearing only pants. Donnie looked over at Chakotay with a frown, but smiled down at his son and lifted him up into a hug. "Hey, how's my favourite little guy?"
Aaron put his arms around Donnie's neck and kissed his cheek, "I'm not little," he insisted.
"I know," he pulled back a little to look at his son properly, "you've grown so much, not much longer and you'll be catching up with me."
Donnie then turned his attention to the stranger still standing awkwardly by the door with his wife, and waited for an introduction. "Chakotay, this is my husband, Donnie Sutherland, Donnie, this is Chakotay, he was cell leader aboard the..."
"Yes, I know who Chakotay is," Donnie cut her off, all traces of a smile long faded from his face, "what I don't know is what he's doing here."
"My ship was damaged in a Cardassian attack, Voyager came to our rescue," Chaktoay explained.
Donnie placed Aaron on the ground, "son, go to your room and start getting out all the things you want to take back home with you," he said, his eyes still fixed on Chakotay.
Aaron didn't seem to notice the mood shift, and happily complied with his father's suggestion. The moment he was gone, Donnie crossed the room, closing the gap between himself and the ex-Maquis cell leader. Instinctively Kathryn stepped forwards, and placed a hand on her husband's chest, warning him not to get any closer to the guest aboard her ship.
"Chakotay, maybe you'd better leave," it wasn't a suggestion but an instruction.
He hesitated, not liking the threatening stance that Kathryn's husband had adopted, and not particularly wanting to oppose her request for him to leave. He looked at her, silently asking if she'd be okay with him gone, and she nodded, so giving Donnie one last look, he left.
"Does he know that Aaron's his son?" Donnie turned to her the moment that Chakotay was gone.
"He saw Aaron, I didn't know what else to do, he would have guessed eventually; they look so much alike," she defended her actions.
Donnie sighed, stepping away from her and running a hand through his hair, "and what was his reaction?"
Kathryn followed her husband with her eyes as he made his way to sit on the sofa, "I think that he was upset that I hadn't told him before that he was going to be a father, when he was in prison."
He nodded, "does Aaron know?"
She shook her head and made her way over towards him, sitting beside him on the sofa, "you're Aaron's father, it would just confuse him to tell him that he had two dads."
Slowly he turned his head and faced Kathryn, "is Chakotay asking for any kind of custody rights over Aaron?"
The thought hadn't really occurred to her that Chakotay may attempt to challenge the current situation with Aaron the legal responsibility of her and Donnie. "No," she said shaking her head.
Donnie nodded his head, "he's a Maquis anyway, he wouldn't stand a chance in a court."
Kathryn reached out and placed a hand on her husband's shoulder, but before she could offer any words of assurance the doors to her son's bedroom opened and he stepped out. "I can't find Beany," he reported, looking as if he was about ready to cry.
"I think I saw it in your mum's room," Donnie told him, just before he again disappeared out of sight. He turned back to Kathryn, "how have things been between you and this Chakotay? He hasn't tried anything has he?"
She smiled mildly and shook her head, "he knows that I'm married, and I've made it perfectly clear to him that it's a happy marriage at that."
Donnie looked deeply at her, "it didn't seem to stop him when you were engaged to Mark though did it?"
"With me and Mark it was different," she attempted to explain. She paused as her son emerged from her bedroom with a stuffed Giraffe, but then he disappeared back into his room, and she continued. "I didn't love Mark enough to marry him, and Chakotay was just there at a time when I was looking for excuses not to stay with Mark. I love you," she reassured.
He nodded, but didn't immediately respond as she leant forward to kiss him. He allowed the kiss, before standing from the sofa and making his way to his son's bedroom to help him pack, leaving Kathryn to sit alone in the living area of her quarters to think to herself.
V
Chakotay was asked to stay on Voyager with the ship's skeleton crew as repair teams boarded and started to do what they did best. It wasn't that StarFleet was worried Chakotay would try to infiltrate their headquarters, but instead that an attempt may be made on Chakotay's life. Although the Maquis were unofficially no longer the federation's enemy, there were still those within the federation that still held strong negative feelings towards the Maquis. Chakotay, was more than happy to comply, Earth wasn't really his home planet, just his people's planet of origin, so he didn't feel a strong desire to return.
B'Elanna was a little pissed off to find that she couldn't return to Earth, but once she had found out that Chakotay would be staying on Voyager also, the prospect of staying ship side didn't seem so bad. Then, once she did a customary check on engineering and found the repair crews 'doing it all wrong!' she was more than glad that StarFleet had insisted she stay aboard Voyager, and spent the six days that Voyager stayed in orbit around Earth in engineering watching the progress of the repairs.
Whilst the two of them stayed on Voyager under the careful watch of Tuvok, Kathryn returned to her home in San Francisco with her husband and son.
It was the third evening into their visit home, and Donnie was due to return to his ship early the next morning, so the two of them had left Aaron with his grandmother and gone out to dinner, returning not long before midnight. Kathryn looked at him, besides her on the sofa, and blinked several times, not quite sure if she had heard him correctly. "We're in the middle of a war," she pointed out.
He nodded, "I'm not saying right now, I'm just saying that once all of this business with the Cardassians and Dominion is over, maybe we should consider having a baby or our own." She gave him a look. "You know what I mean," he went on, "I love Aaron as if he was my own, but at the end of the day, he's not, and seeing him with his real father back on Voyager really hit home."
"I'm not planning for Chakotay to come in and replace you," she insisted.
"Then what are you planning to happen?" he started, "if you allow Aaron to see Chakotay regularly, then it's not going to be many more years until he realises that he looks more like him than me."
"Donnie, you're talking years from now, and probably by then Chakotay will have lost interest and won't be part of our lives any more." Kathryn attempted in a calm and reasonable tone.
"So are you saying that you don't want any more children?" he looked away from her.
She sighed, "I'm not saying that, I knew you'd probably change you mind when you told me before we married that you weren't interested in having any more children. I just didn't expect it would be this soon, and I'm worried that you're wanting a baby for all the wrong reasons."
"Like what?" he looked sharply back at her.
"I don't know," she rolled her eyes, "some kind of competitive male thing, jealousy-"
"Then what could the right reasons be?" he cut her off.
Kathryn met his gaze, "wanting Aaron to have a little brother or sister, to be involved in a life from the very start, to have your name written on some stupid birth certificate."
Donnie let out a deep breath, she had some good points. "I guess that I want this for all of the reasons you've mentioned, and more, both good and bad."
She smiled slightly at hearing him admit it, before he leant slowly forwards and kissed her gently on the lips. Kathryn pulled away slightly, and locked her eyes with his, "we can talk about this more next time we see each other-"
He nodded, and cut off her next words as he again advanced and met his lips with hers.
V
It had been five weeks since that night, and Voyager was again heading deep into space to patrol some parts of the neutral zone until they received another mission. StarFleet was short of skilled officers, and as they could spare no chief engineers to replace Carey aboard Voyager, and so it was decided before Voyager left Earth's orbit that B'Elanna may stay aboard, provided that she didn't physically harm any more crewmembers.
Kathryn had left Aaron with her mother; feeling that war filled space was no place for a child still under the age of four. Chakotay had considered Kathryn's offer to leave his daughter with Gretchen, but had declined, feeling that he would miss out too much of his daughter's life should he be parted from her. Some days, as Voyager came into conflict with Dominion and Cardassian ships he would regret his decision, but other days when Taya started to walk and gurgle half words he would be silently grateful that he had brought her with him.
The relationship between Kathryn and Chakotay was complicated but pleasant. When Aaron had been onboard, Chakotay would frequently looked after his soon when Kathryn was on duty, and he had nothing more important to do, but with their son gone, they could no longer use that as an excuse to spend time together. So they formed new reasons to have dinner together, and spend time on the holodeck with each other. Somehow, after everything that had happened, they steadily started to form a solid friendship, that only narrowly escaped destruction after a thoughtless act.
Chakotay walked through the bridge, acknowledging Tuvok with a nod, and trying his best not to look in Paris' direction, knowing full well that him and B'Elanna had begun to pursue a more intimate relationship, despite Tom's betrayal of the Maquis some four and a half years before. He stood outside the Captain's ready room, and waited a little longer than he would normally have expected to be admitted. The doors opened and he walked from the heavily lit bridge to the deathly dark ready room.
He saw Kathryn sitting by the window, her silhouette just visible against the stars moving quickly past the ship. The doors behind him closed, and the light that had flooded into the room was gone in that instant. "Kathryn?" he questioned cautiously, over the past couple of months he had thought he was starting to figure hr out, and from what he had figured out about her, he knew that he would never totally understand her.
She seemed to looked around at him, although he couldn't be totally certain as his eyes attempted to focus in the absence of light. "Is there something in particular you wanted?" her voice sounded dull and empty.
A few cold words were better than none he decided as he slowly made his way towards her; slowly because he didn't want to trip over the steps that led to her couch. "I was going to ask if I could help out filling in some of the bridge duties as we're a few crew down from the last Cardassian attack. But now," he paused, as his shin came in gentle contact with the edge of her coffee table, "I going to ask if anything is the matter."
"Donnie's dead," she replied flatly.
His jaw dropped open, and suddenly everything made sense. With some skill he made his way blindly past the coffee table and to the couch, sitting down beside her. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, but she turned to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and nestling her head against his chest. After a moments hesitation he held onto her just as securely, and drew circles on her back with his hands, in a silent attempt to comfort her.
It was a few minutes until he realised that she was crying, and instinctively when he heard the muffled sob, he kissed the top of her head, then pressed his lips to her forehead. He didn't like to see her so upset, and at that moment in time would have done anything to lessen her pain. Not really thinking about what he was doing he lifted her chin and forced her to face him. In the streaked star light he saw tears glistening as they fell down her cheeks, and seeing her pained expression he did the first thing that came to his mind. He leaned forwards and placed his lips gently against hers.
She let him kiss her, for a moment at least, before she pulled away from him. "I'm sorry," he said, instantly regretting his action.
She didn't seem to hear him and pulled from his embrace completely, to stand and step back from him.
"I wasn't thinking."
"Maybe you should leave," she suggested in a harsh tone.
Chakotay paused, but could feel her glare on him so stood from the sofa, and made his way past her, "I'm sorry," he repeated, but at her lack of response eventually left, hoping that he hadn't made things worse.
V
It felt like deja vu as he stood outside Kathryn's quarters late the next morning, waiting patiently for her to admit him. He pressed the buzzer once more, deciding that if she didn't respond this time then he would leave her be, and just as he turned to leave the doors opened and so he went inside. She was sitting at the table in the dining area of her quarters with a padd in one hand and coffee in the other.
"I'm sorry about yesterday," Chakotay attempted.
She didn't even glance in his direction, just gulped down some more coffee and nodded, "is there something that you'd like to speak to me about other than what happened yesterday?" she asked coldly.
"No," he replied after a beat.
"Then would you mind leaving?"
"Kathryn," he pleaded as he closed the gap between them, "I can't say how sorry I am for what I did, it was stupid and thoughtless," he paused for a moment as he sat down opposite her, he reached out and attempted to take her hands in his, but she pulled away. "I just couldn't stand to see you in so much pain, and I just did the first thing that came to mind."
She finally met his gaze, "have you finished yet?"
He looked at her for a moment or two, thinking whether to cut his losses and leave or to stay and try to patch things up. "I know what it's like to be the Captain," he stated, deciding to stay for a bit longer, "and that as the Captain you have to appear perfect; hiding your pain and anxiety behind a mask. I know how suffocating that mask can be Kathryn, but I'm not officially part of that crew, you don't have to hide anything from me, so once you've stopped being mad at me, then the offer is there for you to come and talk to me."
She continued her steady gaze at him, "Is that all?"
Chakotay stood, "yeah, that's all," he replied before leaving.