Thank you all for your reviews and thanks to everyone who sent in ideas about what could happen, I really enjoyed reading them!
Lolly- I thought yours was a really sweet story and you were nearly right, kind of…sort of… a bit…
chandler's biggest fan and Rachna- yours were really good! Thanks for the ideas!"
Anyway, please review and let me know what you think!
Decisions
"What?" Chandler asked, looking at his father in shocked.
"I want you to come with me to Europe…" Charles told him; trying to ignore the looks the others were giving him.
"Are you serious?" Chandler enquired, not sure what to do or say.
"Yes!" Charles turned in his chair to face Chandler properly, "It would give us the perfect opportunity to really get to knew each other."
"Can't you do that in New York?" Joey asked with a slight bit of desperation in voice, he didn't want to lose his best friend."I don't…I dunno what to say," Chandler stuttered, looking down at the table. He couldn't face looking at his friends or his father, knowing that they all would be silently pleading for him to choose them.
"Look, you don't have to decided now," Charles, told him, "I knew you wouldn't just be able to make a decision like this so quickly."
Chandler nodded silently, still not looking up. Could he really leave New York and go travel in Europe with a man he once swore never to trust again but that was a long time ago. It was different now; they had sorted out their difference and actually acted like father and son.
If he chose to go then he would have to leave his friends and he didn't think he could to do that. He would miss them all so much. He began to ask himself silently, questions that he hoped he'd never would find the answer to. What would he do if Joey weren't there to invent stupid games like 'Fireball?' What would it be like not to hear an original Phoebe Buffay song or to hear Ross and Rachel argue about whether or not they were on a break? How could he leave Monica?
He slowly raised his head and looked at her, his heart breaking just thinking about not seeing her everyday. When he saw a single tear in the corner of her eye, he made his decision to stay. New York was where his life was, his jobs, his friends.
He looked back to his father but when he opened his mouth to tell him the verdict he found he couldn't speak.
If he stayed then his Dad would still leave and didn't want that to happen. He had missed having a Father all his life and now here was his chance. Could he really throw it away?
"I can't…" Chandler started quietly, pausing trying to work out what to say. Everyone looked at him wondering if he had made a decision already. "I can't decided…"
Ross sighed in relief, he was expecting Chandler to drop everything and do what his father wanted; just like had been doing for the last couple of weeks. He knew Chandler wasn't rejecting the offer but it gave them all a chance to convince him to stay in New York.
"I understand," Charles smiled at him.
"When do you leave?" Joey asked, wondering how long he would have left with Chandler if he agreed."Next week."
Chandler's head snapped up, next week was soon.
"What about the tournament?" Chandler queried, he couldn't careless about it but he couldn't bring himself ask the important question because he was scare of what the answers could be.
"Oh come on, I knew you don't want to play," Charles sighed, "I don't want to make you do something you don't wanna do."
Phoebe had to bite her tongue to stop herself from saying about his last comment. She couldn't believe Charles was asking Chandler to do this.
"How long you going for?" Chandler finally managed to ask.
"About 6 months…"
"That's a long time," Chandler muttered looking back down.
"I know but just think how much fun we could have…" Charles said excitedly, "we can go to France, Italy, England…I know your Mom is in London at the moment, maybe we can go there for Christmas."
Chandler's stomach turned when he thought about his last trip to London, it was best couple of days in his life. He glanced at Monica again and the look in her eyes told him, she was thinking the same as him.
After a few seconds of silence Chandler turned his attention back to his father.
"You, Me and Mom at Christmas?" Chandler asked, slowly, "Just doesn't seem to fit in the same sentence."
"I know, I know…" Charles said quickly, "But I really want to make up for everything. Just think how great I'll be to have a nice family Christmas!"
"He has a nice family Christmas every year with us." Rachel whispered, she really hated him now; he couldn't take Chandler away from them.
"I mean real family," He quickly glanced at her before looking back at Chandler.
"We're more of a family to him then you are!" Ross retorted.
Chandler turned at looked at him surprise; he couldn't believe he actually said that.
"How dare you!?" Charles looked angrily at him, "I'm his father."
"Well, you haven't been a very good father so far, have you?" Joey added, backing Ross up.
Chandler watched as his Dad and friends began to argue, he tried to tell them to stop but he couldn't speak, his mouth was dry and he didn't know what to do.
When he realised Monica was silent, he looked at her. She was just sat staring straight ahead; a few tears welled in her eyes.
His attentions were drawn back to the others when he saw one of the waiters heading over to them. He then noticed that everyone else in the restaurant were staring at them, watching the scene curiously.
"Stop!" Chandler raised his voice slightly, just so he could be heard over their argument.
They all fell silent, suddenly feeling embarrassed when they realised what they had been doing.
"Sorry, Chandler…" Charles said, "I didn't mean for that to happen."
"You never do…" Ross muttered, quietly.
"We're sorry too," Rachel added, shooting Ross a look, telling him not to start again. "We just don't want you to leave…"
"And you think by you all fighting will help me make my decision?" He asked before standing up. "I've gotta go…"
"Chandler wait…" Charles stood up to ready to follow his son.
"Don't!" Chandler told him, "I need time to think about this…"
They watched as he walked out of the restaurant, all speculating what he would choose to do.
XxXxX
Half an hour later, Chandler found himself sitting alone on a park bench, his mind going over his options.
If he went with his father, they would be able to spend some quality time together and he said that they'd visit his Mom. Would they really be able to stand being in the same as each other without fighting? Chandler knew he wouldn't be able to stand being in the same room with them if they were arguing. Then again if they didn't argue, he could have the Christmas he had dreamed of since he was a kid.
Agreeing to go with him meant leaving his friends, leaving Monica. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her. He knew he loved her, he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her but he was still a bit scared of what the others would say, mostly Ross. If it weren't for them then he would be screaming from the rooftops how much he loved her. How could he leave just when he finally found the woman of his dreams?
His Dad was only going for 6 months, that wasn't that long. They could write and phone each other; maybe Chandler could even visit him. He'd stay in New York while his Dad went and lived out his dream to travel and then after 6 month he would be back. Wouldn't he?
What if he decided he didn't want to come back to New York after travelling around all those different and exciting countries? What if he would end up hating Chandler for not going with him?
He knew that if he went he would return in 6 months and his friends will still be there. They may be a bit sad or angry about his decision to leave but this was his father, he couldn't just let him walk away again.
A lot could happen in 6 months though, Rachel and Ross could decided to give their 'on/off' relationship another chance… he couldn't miss seeing that. Joey might not want to wait 6 months to have a roommate. Monica could meet someone else, just thinking about it made his heart ache.
He groaned in frustration, every time he thought of a reason to stay, would think of another to go. This was one of the hardest things he had to do; he couldn't believe he had to choose.
XxXxX
"It's still switched off…" Rachel told the others, after trying to phone Chandler's mobile for the 4th time that night.
"You think he's okay?" Joey asked.
"Yeah, course he is.." Ross stated, "He just needs to time alone."
Everyone was silent, they all returned to the girl's apartment, hoping Chandler was there but he wasn't. Charles had told them he was going back to the hotel as they left the restaurant and asked them to tell Chandler, he'd drop by in the morning.
No one had really spoke since leaving the restaurant, they were all deep in thoughts about what it would be like if Chandler left.
Monica sighed and moved towards the kitchen to make some coffee. She couldn't just sit there and think about it, every time she did, she felt like crying. She knew the others were upset but they wouldn't understand what she was going through; they didn't even know her and Chandler together.
If he did decided to go then she'll be okay with it, 6 months wasn't that long. She'll be able to handle that…wouldn't she?
She closed her eyes, trying not to cry but a single tear escaped and slid down her face.
XxXxX
"Good morning Mr Bing…" Chandler's secretary, Helen said as he walked towards his office. She was slightly surprised to see him this early, she'd been working for him for nearly 3 years and he was rarely in on time.
"Is it?" He muttered to himself. He hadn't been home yet; he just sat in the park all night. He didn't even realise the time until he noticed it wasn't dark anymore. Then he decided going to work would give him the opportunity to take his mind of the whole thing.
"Is everything alright?" She asked him, raising an eyebrow at his appearance.
"Yeah, yeah, fine…" He said quickly, when he reached his office door he turned back around, "if any of my friends or my dad drops by or calls tell them I'm in an important meeting…"
"Ermm, okay…sure…" Helen replied.
Chandler sat down at his desk and rubbed his tried eyes. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop thinking about it. Should he go? Should he stay?
He sighed and opened a blank document, deciding to right a list of the pros and cons on both decisions.
After half an hour of typing, he printed both lists off and analysed them. He screwed them up into a ball and threw them into the bin with frustration. They hadn't helped; he was right back to where he started.
He sat back down, trying to figure out what to do next. He suddenly had an idea and reached for the phone, he picked it up but then hesitated before dialling, wondering if it was the best thing to do.
He shook his head and quickly dialled before he had chance to change his mind.
He waited impatiently as the phone rang, willing some to pick up.
"Hello…" A familiar women's voice answered.
"Hey, Mom…it's me.." Chandler said, leaning back in his chair.
"Me? Sorry…Who?" Nora teased.
"Ha ha, very funny," Chandler replied un-amused.
"Is everything okay, darling?" Nora asked, concerned, wondering why Chandler was calling so early.
"I just need to talk to someone…"
XxXxX
"Did you find him?" Rachel asked as Joey and Ross walked into her apartment.
"Nope, we've looked everywhere…" Ross sighed, sitting down, "Central Perk, the park, and the tennis courts…"
"We even went to Charles' hotel, he hasn't seen him either…" Joey added, looking at her and Phoebe with a worried face.
They all fell silent, thinking about where he could be.
"Hey, did you try is office?" Phoebe asked.
Both Ross and Joey looked at each other.
"I was wrong…" Ross said slowly, "I guess we never checked everywhere…"
"I'll call now," Joey said, reaching for the phone.
"No, you can't…" Rachel stopped him, "Monica's on the phone in her room."
"Okay, I'll go use ours…" Joey stood up and walked out.
"Where do you think he is?" Rachel asked, Ross and Phoebe.
"I dunno…" Ross sighed, "I just hope he hasn't decided to go…"
Before anyone could answer Joey walked back in, looking slightly confused.
"Well? Was he there?" Phoebe asked.
"Yeah, but his secretary said he was in an important meeting and couldn't be disturbed…"
"So basically, he's hiding at work and doesn't want to talk to anyone…" Rachel stated.
"Sounds like Chandler," Ross rolled his eyes.
"Maybe we should go down there…" Joey suggested.
"Nah, wouldn't do any good," Phoebe told him.
"Yeah, remember when he was mad at me for kissing his?" Ross started, "well, I went to talk to him… they told me he was in a meeting and when I tried to walk in his office, he called security and had me thrown out…"
"That was a little mean…" Phoebe said, "I know he was mad, but to have you chucked out…"
"Yeah but he was in a meeting, wasn't he, Ross?" Rachel said, "and you got him into trouble with his boss…"
"Wow, I can't believe he forgave you.." Phoebe stated, "I mean, first you kiss his Mom, then get him in trouble at work… great friend you are!"
"Well I didn't know!" Ross tried to defend himself.
"So, what are we going to do?" Joey asked, "We can't let Chandler leave…."
"Well, 6 months, isn't that long…" Rachel said slowly after a few seconds of silence.
"What?!" They all turned and stared at her.
"Look, I'm not saying I want him to go…" She said quickly, avoiding their death glares. "It just that, there's a good chance that he will want to go and then we've gotta be supportive."
"But he can't go!" Joey moaned.
"Yeah, you saw the way his Dad treats him!" Ross said.
"And he hits Chandler!" Phoebe added, "We can't let him go with him."
"Alright, alright…" She held up her hands in defeat, "All I was saying was that he may actually go."
No one replied, they just looked at each other, worried that the 6 of them may turn into the 5 of them.
After a few minutes Monica walked out of her bedroom with a concern look on her face.
"What's up, Mon?" Ross asked, "Who was on the phone?"
"It was Nora Bing…" She told them, "Chandler phoned her this morning…"
"Really?" Joey jumped up and rushed over to her, "Did he tell her, his decision??"
"No, he hasn't made his mind up yet…" Monica pushed past and sat down on the couch.
"Well, that's good…"
"Nora's really worried," Monica continued, "She thinks Charles his going to get him in trouble or something…"
"So, she doesn't trust him either," Ross replied, "Maybe he'll listen to her…"
Before any of them could reply the door opened, they all turned quickly and were relieve to see Chandler stood there.
"Hey.." He said quietly.
"Oh god, Chandler!" Monica rushed over to him and pulling him into a hug, "Where the hell have you been?!"
"Thinking things over…" He told her.
"And have you made a decision yet?" Ross asked.
"Nope," He tried to smile but couldn't, "I was hoping you Guys could help me with that…"
"Course we can!" Joey grinned at him, "Stay! See sorted…"
"You really think I should stay?" Chandler looked around at them all.
"You'll be giving a lot up if you go…" Ross told him, "Your job, your friends…"
"I know all that!" Chandler raked his finger through his hair. "But then I think about everything I'll be giving up if I stayed…"
"How'd you mean?" Monica asked.
"What if he hates me for not going?" Chandler asked them, "What if he decides to stay in Europe and never comes back?"
"What it be so bad if he did?" Ross asked, causing the others to glare at him.
"What?" Chandler turned to face him and then looked around at the others again, "What's going on?"
"We just don't want you to go…" Monica told him.
"No, that's not it," Chandler insisted. "There's something else going on…"
No one spoke, they all looked down at the floor, trying not to look at Chandler.
"Come on, what is it?" Chandler asked again and when no one replied, he looked at his best friend, "Joey?"
Joey glanced at the others, wondering if he should say something or not. He noticed Rachel shaking her head slightly, telling him not to but when he looked back to Chandler, he couldn't lie to him.
"We sort of don't like him…" He mumbled quietly, turning his attention back to his shoes.
"What?!"
"We're sorry!" Rachel said quickly.
"I don't believe this…" Chandler ran his fingers through his hair again. He knew his friends had some problems with his Dad but I didn't realise they hated him.
"But can you blame us?" Ross asked, defending them, "I mean, look at the way he treats."
"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Chandler asked heatedly.
"What he means, is that he's always bossing you around…" Phoebe cut in, "And he hit you…"
Chandler started to laugh slightly and the others looked at him curiously.
"Y'know out of everyone, I'd thought you'd understand.." He looked at Phoebe.
"What, Me?" She asked, "Why?""You grow up without a Dad too and even though he abandoned you when were a baby, you still looked for him," Chandler stated, "You still wanted to give him another chance!"
"You think just because we grew up with a father, we don't understand?" Ross asked.
"No, you haven't got a clue!" Chandler told him, "You don't understand what it was like to sit by the front door waiting for him to walk back through, even though you knew he wasn't going to…you don't know what it was like to have hundreds of birthday and Christmas presents and not one of them be from your own father!!"
"Yeah but like you said, you had hundreds…your Mom was rich…" Joey added, "I was quickly if I got 3 presents all together for my birthday.""Yeah but all I wanted was my Dad back.." He told them, "Now I have that and you want me to give it up because you don't like him!"
"I think everyone should calm down…" Monica suggested.
"No, no…" Chandler started again. "I didn't want to see him, I wanted nothing to do with him but you lot made me!"
"Chandler…"
"What was it you said, Joe?" He ignored their attempted to cut him off, "You only get one Dad… and that I'd regret it, if I didn't at least try…"
They looked away again, feeling guilty. He was right, they convinced him to see Charles. How can they now expect him to just forget him?
"I'll see you later…" Chandler muttered and before anyone could stop him, he had left.
"Well, that went well!" Monica said, sarcastically, also heading towards the door, "I'll talk to him."
She found him sitting in the park, with a distraught look on his face. She sighed and walked slowly over towards him.
"This seat taken?" She asked.
He shook his head but never said nothing or looked her.
"You okay?" She reached for his hand.
"I don't know what to do…" He told her, quietly, still staring ahead.
"Well, whatever you decided, you know I'll support you…"
"You will?" He turned, slightly surprised, "What about what everyone said?"
"They said that only because they care about you…" Monica told him.
"What and you don't care about me?" Chandler interrupted with a slight mocking tone.
"No, course I do…" She smiled, "But I can see how happy you are with your Dad…"
"I am…" Chandler replied, "and I know that what the guys said are true, I know he bosses me around but it's not as bad as it seems…I can handle it."
"I understand that…" She smiled.
"And that hitting thing… well I won't let that happened again," Chandler stated, "And he's promised he won't do it again."
"Well, you just tell him that he can't because these lips belong to me!" She joked, gently touching his swollen lip.
Chandler smiled slightly; he couldn't resist kissing her softly. She smiled back at him and hugged him tightly, not wanting to let him go.
"I can't believe your leaving…" She whispered after a few minutes of silence.
"I haven't decided on that yet…" He told her.
"But I thought you said…""I can't leave with my friends hating me." Chandler cut her off.
"They don't hate you!"
"Well whatever," Chandler replied, "The point is that you've all been like my family and can't leave everything like it is."
"Well, do you want to go and talk to them?" She asked.
"In a bit…" He pulled her back into his arms, "Lets just stay here for a bit longer…"
XxXxX
"So, what are we going to do?" Rachel asked, as they all sat around in the girl's apartment.
"We gotta let him do what he wants!" Joey said, sadly.
"No we don't!" Phoebe replied.
"Oh so, what? We tell him, he can't go?" Rachel asked, "And of course his going to listen."
"He might!"
"No he won't…" Rachel told her, "If anything, it's going to push him into going."
"So, you just want to let him leave?" Ross stood next to Phoebe and looked at Joey and Rachel.
"He might not leave," Joey stated, "but if we make him stay then he'll end up hating us."
"Or thanking us!"
"Oh come on, you've seen how happy he is!" Rachel pointed out, "He'll either go to Europe, hating us or stay and hate us for ruining his relationship with his Dad."
"Either way he's going to hate us!" Phoebe pointed out, "So I say, we don't let me go, even if he does hate us, he'll still be here."
"He won't hate us if we let him make his own mind up and support his decision." Rachel commented.
"Yeah, I'm with Rachel…" Joey agreed, "If Chandler's happy then that's what counts."
"What if he goes to Europe and his Dad ends up hurting him again?" Ross asked, "Physically and mentally?"
"Well then he'll know that we're all here for him.."
"I suppose…" Phoebe said slowly, "But I still don't trust Charles!"
"You don't have to.." Rachel gave her a small smile, "Just support Chandler's decision."
"Yeah, I guess I can do that…"
They all looked at Ross, waiting to see if he'd agreed with them. They sighed in relief when they saw him nodded slightly.
They started to discuss what they would say to Chandler when he came back and ways that they could be supportive.
They all jumped up the door opened.
"Dude, we are so sorry!" Joey said, "If you want to go then we think you should!"
"You do?" He frowned."Yeah, you were right…" Rachel added, "he's your father and if you're happy then we're happy.""Are you serious?" He asked, surprised by their sudden attitude change.
"Yep!" Phoebe smiled at him, "Go for it…I know would…""You don't know how much your support means to me…" Chandler told them.
Joey grinned at him, "Yeah but just remember when you get to London have one of those Beers on me…"
"Sure!" Chandler smiled when Joey pulled him into a hug and slowly everyone else joined in.
After a while everyone slowly pulled away, Rachel reach for a tissue.
"Oh god, look at me…" She said, dabbing her eyes, "You're not leaving for another week and I'm already crying!"
"Imagine what she'll be like when you actually do leave!" Ross commented, causing the others to laugh slightly.
"Aww, don't worry, Rach…" Chandler squeezed her hand, "6 months isn't that long."
"Yeah, just think we won't have to listen to always those sarcastic jokes or have him tease us…" Ross joked, trying to ease the tension.
They all laughed but then everything went silent and no one knew what to say.
"Thanks, you guys…" Chandler said, after a few minutes.
XxXxX
Week later
Chandler stood on the roof of his apartment building, staring at the New York skyline. He sighed, tomorrow he was leaving for Europe and he was excited but he didn't wand to leave his friends.
He told his Dad his decision straight away and they started to plan the trip but he still had doubts about going. If his friends hadn't have been so supportive about him leaving then he probably would have changed his mind but they were all downstairs in the girls' apartment after finishing a 'going away' party but it was only the 6 of them.
"Hey, what you doing up here?"
He turned around and smiled when he saw Monica stood by the door.
"Just looking over New York, one last time…" He smiled at her, "Where's everyone else?"
"Ross, Pheebs and Joey have gone home and Rachel has gone to bed…." She informed him, "They've given up waiting for you to come back…"
"Sorry," He said but he knew she was only joking, "I was doing some thinking…"
"About what?"
"Wondering if I should actually go…" He sighed.
"I thought you wanted to go?"
"I do…but I keep thinking about what I'm giving up…""What are you so worried about?"
"I dunno…"
"Chandler, look at me…" She brought her hand to his face and made him turn to look at her, "Tell me, what's going on…"
"What if I go and then come back and everything's changed?" He asked."Chandler, nothing's going to change!" She tried to assure him, "but even if it did, it wouldn't matter…you're one of our best friends."
"What if I get fazed out?" He wondered, "What if you all find a new best friend."
"Chandler, that's never going to happen."
"Why not!"
"Because I won't let it!" She insisted, "Even if the others do, I won't!"
"You won't?"
"I promise!" She told him, hugging him.
"You're amazing…"
"I know…" She said quietly, trying not to let go of her emotions.
"Y'know, we haven't talked about what going to happen about 'us' yet…" Chandler reminded her. Over the last week they both had been eagerly avoiding the discussion about their relationship but he couldn't go to Europe not knowing.
"I guess we should…" She pulled back from his arms and looked up at him.
"Do you think we should go on a break?" He asked, uncertainly.
"What?" She looked at him with a panicked expression.
"Well, I don't want you to be sat here waiting for me…" He told her, "I want you go out on dates but only if you like someone."
"Chandler, I don't want to do this…" She informed him.
"You don't?" He couldn't help but smile slightly.
"No, I don't…" She returned the smile and squeezed his hand.
They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, Chandler didn't want to leave her.
"Maybe I should stay…" He said, slowly, still not breaking eye contact.
"I'm not going to let you give up this opportunity…not for me!" She told him, "not for some stupid relationship that no one knows about!"
"It's not some stupid relationship to me, Mon." He told her, "I think I'm fallen in Lov…"
She kissed him, stopping him from finishing his sentence.
"Don't say it…" She whispered, resting her forehead against his.
"I do, though, Mon…" He told her softly.
"I do too…" A few tears fall down her face, "but you can't say it, not yet…not when you're leaving…"
He reached up and brushed away her tears with his thumb.
"Tell me to stay…" He whispered, "Tell me not to go…""I can't…"
He closed his eyes and pulled her into a hug, holding her tight.
"6 months isn't long…" She assured him.
He nodded slowly, "Maybe you can come and see us while we're in London…"
"I'd love that.." She smiled at him and step slightly back, out of his arms. "Maybe we should get back down stairs…"
"Can't we stay here?" He pleaded.
"All night?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Why not?" He smiled and sat down on one of the sun beds that were put up there by her and Rachel.
"I guess we could…" She sat between his legs, with her back to him and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.
"Always and forever, Mon…" He whispered into her ear, kissing her head, "me and you…always and forever…"
"Always and forever…" She repeated, softly and settled down in his arms.
TBC
Please don't kill me! Oh and please review, thanks! :D