Hey, sorry its taken so long to update but here it is!! I found it quite hard to write this chapter so its not that good but please review.
Katt: I don't know if its possible to go without sleep for that long, he was sleeping just not for very long…eh, sorry if its not possible but its my story :P
This is for Becky, who made me finish this chapter!
Having Doubts
Chandler's eyes fluttered open, at first he was confused by the white room but then he remember everything that had happened the day before. He looked around, noticing his friends and Mom all sleeping. Ross and Rachel cuddled up together in one of the chairs. Phoebe resting her head on Joey's shoulder and his Mom sat curled up in another chair. While Monica was sitting in a chair right next to him, she was leaning over with her head on his bed. He frowned, she was 8 months pregnant, all this couldn't be good for the baby. He gently reached out and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear, feel guilty about what he had put her through.
He smiled slightly when he saw her beginning to wake, she looked up at him and returned it.
"Hey…how you feeling?" She whispered, not wanting to wake any of the others up.
"Better." He nodded as she stretched and yawned. He shifted over and patted the space next to him.
She grinned at him and joined him, she sighed happily as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down to lie next to him.
"I'm sorry…" He whispered, tightening his grip.
"What for?" She asked, moving slightly to look at him.
"For all this…" He replied, he couldn't help the tears that welled in his eyes but he refused to let them fall down his face. "I never meant to hurt you…"
"Oh no…honey, none of this is your fault…" She told him, "and you haven't hurt me…I know you would never!"
"I don't want to lose you Mon…."
"I'm not going anywhere…" She promised. "Now, you need to get some more sleep…."
"I love you, Mon." He told her, closing his eyes slowly.
"I know…" She whispered, as he began to fall asleep.
XxXxX
Two hours later, everyone was awake and talking. They all tried to keep the conversation cheerful, scared about what secretes Chandler could reveal. He knew what they were doing and he was grateful that he didn't have to talk about it but he knew he would soon. He sat quietly while the others talked, everything going over in his mind, trying to work out a way to explain it all.
"So, you know when you can come yet?" Joey asked him, interrupting his thoughts.
"Yeah, probably tomorrow, I've gotta see a psychiatrist first…"
"Oh right, well that's good…." Ross said, as everyone else was silent.
"I just wanna get home…" He lead his head back against the pillow.
"That's what we all want…" Monica told him, squeezing his hand gently.
He gave her a small smile before looking around at the others. "I'm sorry, I've put you all through this…."
"Hey, don't worry about us!" Rachel told him.
"Thanks, guys…"
"What are friends for?"
XxXxX
As Rachel stepped of the chair, which she was using to stand on to hang Chandler's 'welcome home' banner the next day, she noticed Robbie sat quietly in the corner, thinking.
"Hey, Rob…you okay?" She asked, walking over to him.
"Hu-huh…"
"You sure?" She sat down next to him. He nodded again. "You excited about your Dad coming home?"
"Yeps!" He grinned.
"Alright, well I better start getting everything ready…" She smiled at him as she made a move to get up.
"Aunt Rachel?"
"Yeah?""Y'know Mommy's going to have a baby…."
"Erm, yeah…" Rachel replied, nervous about where this conversation was heading.
"Mommy said that Daddy gave it to her…."
"Well, yeah he did.."
"So, where is it now?" He asked.
"It's in your Mom's stomach…" Rachel explained.
"Oh…" Robbie replied, frowning slightly in confusion. "Okay…"
"Right…" Rachel wasn't really sure if Robbie understood but decided it would be a better idea for him to have that kind of conversation with Monica or Chandler.
An hour later, Monica and Chandler returned from the hospital and as soon as he stepped through the door, Robbie flung himself at his legs and Chandler swung him up into his arms, hugging him tightly.
"Hey, buddy…" Chandler said after a few seconds, "Have you been good while I've been gone?"
"Yeps! Me and Uncle Joey watched Baywatch!"
"Joey!" Monica glared at him, slapping his arm.
"Ow!"
"But it much better when I watch with you…" Robbie added, looking at his Dad.
Chandler smiled innocently at Monica as she moved closer to him. "You can't hit me… I'm holding your son!"
"I'll get you later, Bing!" She threatened seeing him holding Robbie as a shield.
"You promise?" He replied, causing her to roll her eyes.
"But you ate Daddy's present!" Robbie accused her, trying to save his Dad from trouble.
"You ate my present?" Chandler frowned, "What present? Who was it from?"
Monica shrugged confused, unaware of Chandler having any presents.
"The present you gave her!" Robbie exclaimed. "Aunty Rachel told me!"
"I did?" Rachel asked, as everyone looked at her.
"Yes! You said that Daddy gave Mommy a baby and it was in her stomach!!!"
"Oh, that!"
Everyone laughed causing Robbie to be even more confused.
"Rob, your Mom, didn't ate the baby…" Chandler explained, still laughing lightly, "The baby needs to be in her stomach to grow…"
"Yeah, you were in her stomach before you were born…" Phoebe added.
"Don't tell him!" Rachel hissed, "now, he's going have nightmares of Monica trying to eat him!"
"Who has a stupid dream like that?!" Joey asked.
Chandler, Monica and Rachel all looked towards Ross."Hey! I was only a kid!" He said trying to defend himself, seeing theirs looks. "and she was really big!!"
"So, the baby's meant to be living instead of Mommy?" Robbie asked, unsure.
"Yeah, honey, it is…" Monica reassured him as Chandler placed him on the floor.
Robbie sighed loudly and threw his hands up in the air, frustrated, "Why didn't you say that in the first place!?"
He left all the adults laughing as he ran off to play, glad that his Mom didn't eat his baby brother or sister.
"So, it seems like you're feeling better…" Monica whispered to Chandler, as everyone else started their own conversation.
"That's because I'm home…" He replied, smiling slightly as he wrapped his arms loosely around her waist.
"Where you belong…" She told him, brushing her lips against hers and then leaning her head against her chest, as he tightened the hold on her.
XxXxX
Chandler was grateful for the small party his friends had thrown him, there wasn't a lot of people there, just the 6 of them, his Mom and Judy and Jack. He had a good time for the first few hours but now it was nearly 6 o'clock and they were all still there.
While they sat around chatting and laughing Chandler sat quietly again. He watched Monica talking to Rachel and Phoebe, probably about the baby. He smiled, thinking how lucky he was and how close he came to losing it all.
He got up and walked over to the girls, he grab hold of her hand lightly at pulled her to her feet.
"Um, hi…what ya doing?" She asked, looking at him in concern.
"Can you guys keep an eye on Rob?" Chandler ignored her question and looked around at the others.
"Yeah, sure…" Rachel nodded.
"Why? Where we going?" Monica asked.
"I wanna go for a walk…"
"A walk?"
"Erm, okay then…." Monica couldn't help but smile as he took her hand again and lead her out the room.
XxXxX
"This is nice…." Monica said softly, putting her head against his shoulder as they sat on a bench in the park.
"Yeah…" He smiled down at her. "I want to talk to you about what happened…."
"Okay then… if you sure, you want to…." She replied surprised. Chandler rarely talked about his feelings and when he did, it was normally after prompting from her.
"Yeah I am…" His arm around her, tightened, "When I was talking to that shrink…all I kept thinking was that it should be you I was talking to…"
"Okay then… what do you want to say?"
"I don't want to turn out like my Dad…" He admitted, "I couldn't handle it if Robbie or the baby hated me…"
"Chandler! That will never happen!" She told him, "you're a great father…"
"Yeah, now I am but you never know what's going to happen in the future…I don't want our kids to go through what I went through…"
"What did you go through?" She asked, gently not wanting to push him. He looked down at the grass, she could tell he was struggling to find the courage to tell her. "The Doctor asked if your Dad ever hurt you…. Di..did you use to.. Did he hurt you?"
"He use to come home drunk…." He whispered, refusing to look up, "I always waited up for him…"
"And then what?"
"He'd hit me…it was normally late…I should have been in bed…."
"If you knew you were going to get hit, why did you stay up?"
"I don't know…" Chandler shrugged, "I would be lying in bed, knowing he wasn't home and I could hear my Mom crying in their room…part of wished that he would never come home, that leave us to get on with our lives but then there was another part of me that was terrified that, that was going to actually happen…so I waited up for him, just to make sure he was okay…"
Monica laced her fingers through his and placed a hand on his cheek, making him look her. Her heart broke seeing the tears that pooled in his eyes.
"You're not going to turn out like him, okay?"
"How do you know?"
"Because I know you!" She replied, "I know you better then anything else in the world…"
"Yeah, I guess…"
"Believe me, you're the great husband and an even better father…"
Chandler let himself smile and then pulled her into a hug. "Thank you…"
"No problem…" she told him, glad he was feeling better, "You still having doubts?"
"I think I'm always going to have doubts…"
"Maybe that's what makes you such a wonderful Dad…"
They stayed, sitting into each others' arms for a while longer before deciding to get back to the house. They walked in a comfortable silence, neither of them needing to say anything.
When they arrived back, they found Rachel, Ross and Robbie all sit around watching the TV.
"Where is everyone?" Monica asked, sitting down.
"Oh, they went home…" Ross explained.
"And why aren't you in bed, young man…" Chandler said, crouching down next to Robbie.
"I want to make sure you came home…"
An image of him standing in front of his father, saying the same words, flashed before Chandler's eyes. He glanced over at Monica, noticing her watching curiously. He smiled reassuringly. He didn't know why but at that moment, he knew there was nothing in this world that make him do anything like his father.
"Come on, Buddy…I'll read you a story…" Chandler told him, picking him up.
"YAY!"
"Chandler? You okay?" Rachel asked, noticing his change in moods.
He glanced down at Robby before looking back at the three of them.
"I am now…"
Please review and let me know what you think. Should I continue?