LUPE IS BACK, BABY! I have lived through moving, computer crashing, evil school tests, and, um.... well, those are all the excuses I've got. Other then that, I've just been freakishly busy and also kinda lazy. Sorry. I hope this chapter makes up for all of my time away from the story, seeing as it's SOOO LONG...... and hopefully I'll have the next one up in a reasonable time.
Oh, by the way, the format has changed because won't let me use asterisks anymore for some reason.
Twins: We're BORED!
Mero: Well why don't you go chase after them and get the Keymaker like I suggested.
Twin 1: But that would mean....
Twin 2: We'd be the bad guys again.
Mero: And?
Twins: Whatever.
Mero: NOW GO!
Twins: Okay.... going.... (phase through floor)
Lupe: Wait! I'm coming too! (tries to phase through floor but hits her head instead)
(meanwhile)
Keymaker: (runs through millions of doors)
Morpheus: (running after, closing all the doors) Were you born in a barn?
Twin 1: (phases up through floor)
Lupe: (mysteriously shows up) COOOL!
Morpheus: (grabs handy sword)
Keymaker: (runs into a parking garage, followed by Trinity and Morpheus)
Morpheus: (tries to shut door)
Twin 1: (sticks hand in door)
Trinity: (shoots Twin 1's arm repeatedly)
Twin 1: This hurts much more then we are letting on. (wince)
Trinity: There sure are a lot of parenthisis in this chapter.
AUTHOR: Sorry.
Twin 2: (phases through door)
Twin 1: ABOUT TIME!
Twin 2: Sorry! Sheesh!
Twin 1: (steps out from door and examines his arm) Aww, man, bloodstains. Those are never gonna come out.
Twin 2: Yeah. This all-white look sure has some problems.
Lupe: PHASE YOU MORONS!
Twin 1: Oh! Right! (phases) Good as new.
Morpheus: LUPE!!! Tratior!
Lupe: So what. I'm on their side now. (pulls on hat that says "BAD GUY")
Keymaker: (is trying to unlock a car) Drat! Now which key was it again?
Trinity: (kicks in window) Just get in! I'll drive!
Morpheus: (swordfights against the Twins in an extremely onesided battle)
Trinity: (drives car over) GET IN!
Morpheus: Okay!
(they drive off)
Twin 1: Let's go! (they run to their SUV)
Lupe: Hey, that's a gas guzzler. Go with something a little more economical. (points at a VW Beetle)
Twins: (glare)
Lupe: Fine, fine, just a suggestion.
(they get in the SUV and chase after the others)
Twin 1: DIE CARS DIE! (shoots random cars)
Lupe: Ummm.... what did they ever do to you???
Twin 1: We dunno. This is just fun.
Lupe: Well, maybe you should-
Twin 2: Hey, no backseat driving!
Lupe: grumble mutter snarl
(meanwhile)
Morpheus: Link!
Link: (over phone) What?
Morpheus: Is your refrigerator running?
Link: Let me go check..... hey! The Neb doesn't have a refrigerator!
Morpheus: Oops.
Trinity: AHEM.
Morpheus: Oh. Right. Link, we need an exit.
Link: Yeah.... I got one. Winslow Overpass.
Morpheus: That's on the freeway!
Link: (rolls eyes) Bingo, Einstien.
Trinity: You always told me the freeway was suicide.
Morpheus: I did?
Trinity: Uh-huh.
Morpheus: Did not!
Trinity: Did too! And I've got it on Lupe's portable recorder, too. (whips out recorder)
Recorded Morpheus: "The freeway is suicide, Trinity. And so are the mushrooms, and the burritos......"
Trinity: (quickly turns off recorder) So there.
Morpheus: Then let us hope that I was wrong. Which I probably was. Because I think I remember when I told you that, Dozer had made a whole lot of that beer stuff, and I think Neo spiked the goop, and....
Trinity: TOO MUCH INFORMATION!
Morpheus: Sorry.
( also meanwhile....)
Cop: Hey, these two twin dudes are shooting at another car with a giant gun.
Cop2: Well look at that.
Cop 1: We should probably be chasing after them...... oh well. Doughnut?
(suddenly the Twins drive past and shoot his doughnut into oblivion)
Cop 1: Those idiots! They shot my doughnut!
Cop 2: They'll pay for that! Let's go!
(they jump in the car and chase after the Twins, followed by many other cops who also got their doughnuts shot)
Random cop: Ha! You missed my doughnut! Your bullet went right through the hole!
(he gets run over)
Cop1: We'll catch them! Did you bring the gun?
Cop2: I thought you had the gun!
Cop1: Oh well. We'll just throw doughnuts at- aaaaruuuuughhhhhoihtuhughlllllll........ (he turns into an agent)
Kid in passing car: Mommy, that guy's face just changed.
Mother: Stop making up stories, George.
Kid: My name's not George.
Mother: What did I just tell you?
Kid: grumble grumble mutter snarl
(also also meanwhile)
Twin 2:( phases and lands in the car with Trinity, Morpheus, and the Keymaker)
Trinity: Hey! (attempts to shoot him but drops the gun)
Twin 2: (slashes with razor)
Trinity: (wraps his arm in the seatbelt)
Twin 2: (tries to cut it off)
Keymaker: (hides in corner) MEEP!
Trinity: You could be a little more helpful you know!
Keymaker: How?
Trinity: (shrugs)
Twin 2: (suceeds in slicing the seatbelt to shreds)
Trinity: Uh, Twinny, you missed me.
Twin 2: (rolls eyes) We KNEW that.
Morpheus: (grabs gun and shoots Twin 2)
Twin 2: (phases in a hurry and lands back in the SUV)
Twin 1: We are getting aggrivated.
Twin 2: Yes, we are.
Twin 1: Dang. There goes our one cool line.
Twin 2: Now we're REALLY aggrivated.
Lupe: Dudes, why do you keep talking to each other. I mean, from the way you speak and act, you're like one mind in two bodies, so you shouldn't really need to say anything....
Twin 1: It's for the cool effect.
Twin 2: Now shut up, you little weasel.
Lupe: Jeez, I saved your coats from bloodstains, you could be a little nicer, you know.
(meanwhile again)
Agent Jones: (looks in glovebox) Well look at that. This car comes complete with doughnuts.
Agent Popourii: I think these humans are onto something. (eats all the doughnuts ) Aww, man, that's IT?
Agent Jones: (points to Twin's SUV) I bet there's some more doughnuts in thare.
Agent Popourii: I'll go find out. (gets out and jumps on a passing car, completely crushing the hood and flipping the car into the air, giving the audience a good view of the Bible symbolism on the license plate) Man, I need to go on a diet!
Kid: Mommy, the car's upside down!
Mother: on cell phone So then Frank said to Bob.... hold on a second.... GEORGE! What have I been telling you?
Kid: No, really! We're about to crash into the pavement!
Mother: (hangs up cell phone) How do you expect me to believe- YIKES!
(the car smashes into the street. Miraculously "George" and his mom survive)
Mother: Do you think the insurance covers this?
(meanwhile again again)
Agent Popourii: (leaps onto Twin's car) Hello! Got any doughnuts in there?
Lupe: Nope! Sorry! Bye-bye now! (shoves Agent Popourii off the car)
Twin 1: How did you do that? Isn't he supposed to be-
Lupe: Incincible? Naah. Not when he's looking for doughnuts. Too easily distracted.
(suddenly they crash into a whole bunch of barrels and the car flips over)
Twin 1: Oops.
Lupe (pulls herself through the skylight and stands on top of the car) Now what?
(Morpheus runs up with a giant gun 'o doom (he and Trinity and the Keymaker got out of their car a while ago))
Morpheus: Get off, Lupe!
Lupe: Wha? Okay! (jumps off the car)
Morpheus: (shoots car mercilessly)
Lupe: Hey!
Twin 1: Oh crap.
Twin 2: (shakes door) It's locked!
Twin 1: Stupid automatic locking feature! We paid good money for that, too!
Twin 2: Hold on a minute. Why don't we just-
Car: BOOM.
(Twins go flying)
Twin 1: Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!...........
Twin 2: SHUT UP! There are too many crossovers in this story already.
Twin 1: Sorry, bro.
Neo: (flies past) Ha! Gotcha! Hey, wait.... YOU aren't who I was supposed to rescue!
Twin 1: Nope.
Twin 2: (checks watch) You're about.... oh, five minutes early.
Neo: So now what do I do?
Twin 1: Just set us down on that truck over there and go fly around randomly for a little while.
Neo: Sure.
(also also meanwhile again again etc.)
Trinity: Hey, look, a motercycle truck! (leaps onto the truck with the keymaker)
Keymaker: Um, how are you going to use that motorcycle without a key?
Trinity: Don't you have one?
Keymaker: Umm... I think so.....( starts searching through his five million keys)
Trinity: This is taking too long. (calls Link) You! Teach me to hotwire a motorcycle!
Link: Okey dokey. (downloads the program into Trinity's brain)
Trinity: Um... all that program says is: "red wire to blue wire."
Link: Oops. I've been meaning to update that.
Keymaker: I FOUND IT! (waves key around) (drops it) Oopsey.
Trinity: (smacks him) Moron.
Lupe: (appears) Hi guys! I can hotwire that for ya! (hotwires the motorcycle)
Trinity: How... the...heck... did you know that?
Lupe: Red wire to blue wire. Works every time. (vanishes)
Trinity: Okay, whatever. (jumps on motorcycle with Keymaker and drives through the traffic the wrong way, oblivious to the millions of drivers simutaniously flipping her off)
(also also... oh forget it)
Morpheus: Hi-yah! (leaps into the air and lands on a truck, which also happens to have Lupe and the Twins standing on it) Oooh, man, this is SO not my day.
Lupe: Yo! Morphey!
Twin 1: This is a nice truck.
Twin 2: We hope it's not being driven by a psychotic agent who wants to slam it into another equally nice truck.
Neo: (swoops down) Is that FORESHADOWING?
Lupe: No time for that! Get flying randomly!
Neo: Okay, whatever.
Morpheus: Neo.....?
Lupe: Oh, forget about that. You arent' supposed to know he's here.
Morpheus: Whatever. Just get off this truck.
Lupe: Make me.
Morpheus: I think I will.
Lupe: I'd like to see you try.
Morpheus: Then just watch me. END OF-
(fortunately, Lupe is saved from getting kicked ofscreen by Trinity and the Keymaker, who leap onto the truck, closeley followed by an Agent)
Lupe: Well, the gang's all here! Let's party!
Trinity: I don't think we'll have time for that. We're all doomed.
Lupe: How do you know?
Trinity: Your hat. (points to Lupe's hat, which says "We're all doomed.")
Lupe: Oh, yeah. Forgot about that.
Trinity: Also the fact that another truck is going to smash into us RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW!
Trucks: collide BOOM.
Morpheus/Trinity/Keymaker/Twins/Lupe: AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Neo: (swoops down) Aha! Gotcha! Finally, I have managed to save the day!
Random pedestrian: What the- put me down!
Neo: Whoops. (drops pedestrian and grabs the Morpheus, Trinity, and the rest of them, who were thrown into the air by the explosion) Eergh! You guys are heavy! Morpheus, I thought I told you to lay off the doughnuts.
Morpheus: (eating a doughnut) But they're taaaaaaasty!
Agent: (flies past and grabs doughnut) Yay! (smacks into a wall)
Neo: They can fly?
Agent: Oh, sorry. You weren't supposed to find that out until the third movie.
Neo: Whatever. Can I put you guys down now?
Morpheus: Sure. Just gimme a second here... END OF CHAPTER!! (manages to kick Lupe ofscreen. Which is pretty hard considering he's hanging in midair. Oh well)
Neo: About time. God, this was a long chapter.
Morpheus: You're making it even longer.
Neo: Oops.
Gasp... gasp... my fingers hurt from typing all that... please forgive me for my lazyness and review... cookies... and jellybeans...