Ryan jerked awake. It was night, about two in the morning, and he sat in one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs. He refused to go back to the Cohens. He wanted to be by his brother. Seth had yet to wake up, but Ryan knew he would. What Ryan didn't know was why this happened. He couldn't understand it. Innocent people were dead because some guys felt like getting revenge. Seth almost died because some asshole was upset.

Moonlight shone on Seth's emotionless face. He looked at peace. That made Ryan feel a little better. He knew he couldn't have done anything to stop what had happened. Ryan was nowhere near Seth when it happened. Maybe there was something, like before today, but Ryan didn't know what. He couldn't blame himself. And he usually did.

Ryan looked over to where Kirsten and Sandy were sleeping. Sandy had begged Kirsten and Ryan to go back home, but both refused. But knowing the comfort level of this chair, Ryan would have to think his decision a bit more than this time. Ryan hadn't slept much. Partially due to this chair, the other half due to earlier events. Images of the scene would somehow find their way into Ryan's dreams that he had. And Ryan was excruciatingly tired. The event, as he sometimes referred to it, had left him wanting to sleep, but not able to. Ryan shifted in his seat to try to get comfortable so he could sleep. But no position was very comfortable, so Ryan gave up for the time being. He was already awake.

Ryan looked out the window. Outside, everything seemed silent, while inside, heart monitors and other equipment beeped every other second. He longed for Marissa. He wanted to hold her and they could let go of all their pain. He knew Marissa had seen things he had not, and Ryan wanted to help her forget those images. But those images were not easily forgotten. Ones like the ones they had seen would be with them forever. When their lives flashed before their eyes when they were about to die, maybe an image of earlier this day would find its way into the lineup. Ryan wondered if Seth had seen his life flash in front of him. Had he thought he would die? How had his shooting happened? What was the last thing he saw? Ryan strangely wanted to know the answers to these questions, but he couldn't ask Seth when he woke up. It would be too hard. The pain would be too strong, too vivid for anyone to handle. Ryan would ask when Seth was ready to answer. And that certainly wouldn't be when he woke up.

Almost the only thing Ryan could think of was the incident. It disturbed him, but then it made him think of his family. His mom, dad, Trey. What were they doing? Ryan hadn't thought of them for so long. He hadn't had a need to. Life had been okay for the last few months. He hadn't seen his mother since the day after Casino Night. And that was over a year ago. Ryan wondered where she was and what she was doing. Was she happy? Did she ever think of Ryan? Did she miss him? Ryan remembered when they were a family. All four of them. His mom, his dad, Trey, and him. Life hadn't been that bad. It had been okay. But once his dad went to jail, everything went downhill. His mom drank and dated abusive guys, Trey tried to be the man of the house but failed, and Ryan hung out with Theresa more and more. So much was different.

Everyone was visiting tomorrow. Or rather today, according to what time it was. Jimmy, Hailey, Marissa and Summer. Kirsten had informed him about it earlier that day. He hadn't seen them since the shooting. And he only saw them for a tiny bit. He had been in his classroom on the second floor. The minute he heard the gunshot, he ran. Everyone else was confused, but he knew. Growing up in Chino, you learn a thing or two about shootings. Ryan and Theresa used to pretend they were running away from cops and their guns. He knew to get away as fast as you possibly could when hearing a gunshot. His room was in the middle of the hallway, so he just chose a way to run. He was one of the first people that ran. He saw the shooter, and the shooter saw him. He aimed and shot, but Ryan was quicker. He was out of the way and he was pissed. So he tried his luck at taking the guy. He slammed hard into him, taking him down. But the guy started hitting him with his gun, but not using it. Either this shooter had been strong, or adrenaline was coursing through his veins, but the guy threw Ryan into a locker. Hard. That's how Ryan hurt his arm. The shooter looked at his once more, and then shot. Obviously the shooter had thought he hit Ryan in the shoulder, but it didn't hit him. So the shooter began shooting every other way but at Ryan. So Ryan took his chance and ran. Even when he reached the ground floor, the halls weren't that crowded. People were still hiding in their rooms, afraid of what was outside. Ryan had gotten out fairly fast, but cops and ambulances were already there. Ryan had taken a look at his arm and found it was slightly bleeding. He was about to walk it off even though he was in severe pain, but a paramedic saw him first. He ushered Ryan to an ambulance and looked over his arm. Then the paramedic gave Ryan an ice pack and left to help others. He had been sitting there barely a minute when Marissa shouted his name. Everything had happened so sudden, yet it felt like every second was an hour. It had already been an hour since Ryan woke up, and he was hungry. So he went in search of a vending machine.

Even though it was the dead of night, the hospital was still working like it was the middle of the day. Emergencies don't take a break. Especially after the school shooting. People were rushing around, not even taking notice to Ryan. He headed to the elevator and got in. He pushed the button for the ground level. Ryan was the only one in the elevator. All alone.

The doors opened to reveal the ground floor and a vending machine off in the distance. Ryan hurried to it in the dark. No one was there, the gift shop and cafeteria closed. He'd never seen the hospital so empty. Ryan shoved money into the machine and chose a snack, then got a drink in the next machine. He didn't really prefer to be all alone in a huge, dark area that anyone could really walk right in. So he got his stuff and rushed back to the elevator. It took forever since somehow it had gotten on the top level. Ryan began getting antsy waiting for it. Finally, it came(after also stopping on the seventh floor), and he ran in. He closed his eyes as it began to go up. He was still tired, and probably could fall asleep right there in the elevator. It might be more comfortable than the chair in Seth's room. Again the doors opened and Ryan got out, eyes open. He was a tad bit confused on where he was since he wasn't used to hospitals. But eventually he found Seth's room.

Nothing had changed, all three Cohens still sleeping soundly. He smiled at this, knowing that this was what he was a part of. Ryan took his seat, and a sip of his drink, getting drowsier by the second. Just 24 hours ago, he was sleeping in the Cohens' pool house, having no clue about what would come in the next ten hours. No clue about what would happen to Seth as they got to school, said their "see ya later"'s and departed. No clue that their "see ya later" might have been their last goodbye.

Ryan woke up hours later, the sun up, Kirsten and Sandy awake. Seth still lie on the bed as still as before. Ryan blinked and checked his watch. It read ten in the morning, the longest he slept in a while without waking up from a nightmare of the school. Sandy wasn't in the room, but Kirsten still sat in her chair, staring out the window. Ryan shifted in his seat, trying to be quiet, but Kirsten noticed. She looked his way, found him awake, and smiled.

"Oh Ryan. Good, you're awake. Did you sleep well?" She asked him in a normal tome, like nothing was wrong. But then again, maybe there wasn't.

"How can you in these chairs?" Ryan joked.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Has he woken up?" Ryan asked, looking over to the sleeping Seth.

"No, not yet. But he should. Sandy is out talking to the doctor trying to find out when we can take him home." Kirsten also looked to Seth.

"Oh. So when is Hailey and everyone coming over?" Ryan wanted to know.

"Well, Hailey called not all that long ago, to see if Seth had woken up, but he hasn't. And she said they would be over here soon." Kirsten answered.

"Cool." Ryan commented, not knowing what else to say. Their conversation had run dry. Ryan wasn't much of a talker, Seth was, and conversations were usually short with Ryan. Especially without Seth. Ryan could hear Sandy outside, talking to a doctor. He finished and appeared at the door.

"Oh, you're up Ryan. Good." Sandy said after seeing Ryan awake.

"Sandy, when can we take him home?" Kirsten asked urgently, ready to leave.

"It all depends on when he wakes up, and if he's fully ready to go home." Sandy answered.

"Why won't he wake up? I want to leave." Kirsten complained.

"Kirsten, he's in shock. Give him some time." Sandy defended. Ryan watched the conservation go on, without having to say a word.

"You know I hate hospitals." Kirsten commented.

"I know you do, but this is Seth. You're gonna have to get over your fear for him. At least until he gets out."

"I guess so. But I'm gonna take a walk. My legs are so stiff." Kirsten got up and walked out of the room. Ryan had yet to get up, but he didn't have anywhere to go. No one to see either.

"You know, I have to agree with Kirsten. I wish Seth would wake up so we can leave." Sandy commented as he took a seat next to Seth. "I don't like them. What about you, Ry?"

"They're okay." Ryan answered. He remembered when he was eight. It was Christmas day at the Atwood house. Trey had just gotten a baseball bat, to help his dream of being a pro baseball player. The dream was short lived, but then when Trey really wanted to be a baseball player, he and Ryan decided to go outside to play, Ryan using the horribly beaten up glove and a years old ball. The two had been having fun for a while, until Ryan said he wanted to use the bat. Trey said no, so Ryan went over to get it from him. They began fighting; Hitting, screaming, kicking. Trey was bigger, so he had the advantage. The last thing Ryan remembered was a deathly pain in the back of his head before blacking out. As it was, Trey had used the bat and in defense, used Ryan's head as the ball. From what Dawn had told Ryan, he had been bleeding so they had to go to the hospital. Trey had quite a hard swing. The blow had actually cracked Ryan's skull. Ryan woke up about an hour after the blow with his head screaming. He couldn't remember where he was or anything, and he was afraid. He got up and began to run away, only to be stopped by a doctor. Ryan kicked and screamed and flailed, until finally his mother gave them the okay to give Ryan a sedative. His whole body went limp, and no one caught him as he fell to the floor with a lovely thud.

"Ryan?" Sandy's voice tore Ryan away from his memory. He looked to Sandy, who was now standing. "I think Hailey and everyone else are here." Ryan followed Sandy out the door and into the hall. He was right. Hailey was hugging Kirsten with Jimmy next to them, as Marissa and Summer sat on chairs by the wall. Marissa was looking down the hallway, away from Ryan, and Summer was looking down.

"Hi Sandy, Ryan. How are you guys doing?" Hailey asked, catching Marissa's attention. Marissa shot around, and saw Ryan, her face lighting up.

"We're pretty good. How about you?" Sandy answered. Marissa got up and looked at Ryan. She wanted to hug him, but not in front of everyone.

"Can we please see Seth?" Summer asked annoyingly, sick of waiting.

"Sure. Come on." Sandy said, leading them into the room. They all followed, Ryan bringing up the rear. Seth hadn't moved since Ryan had last looked at him. He still lie there, sleeping. Nobody said a word for a bit, just staring at him. Ryan stopped looking and put his gaze out the window. It was as if Seth was like a zoo animal, ready for everyone to gawk at. Ryan watched the cars speed by on the road. He wondered where the cars were headed, what was lying in store for them. Then he thought about all the people who died in the shooting. It was sad to think about their families, people having to set up a funeral. For their son or daughter, sister or brother, cousin, niece or nephew.

"When is he getting released?" Hailey asked, the only one who seemed to talk.

"Depends on how he feels when he wakes up." Kirsten answered.

"Which is?" Hailey pressed on.

"Any time." Everyone continued to stare as Ryan still looked outside. Summer sank into a chair next to Seth, staring at him desperately. At least he's okay, she thought, he's not dead. But it didn't make her feel any better. She wanted to talk to him, to apologize. She didn't want to watch him sleep. But still she did. Jimmy stopped, feeling a little strange, being the only one not very close to Seth. He left the room, hanging out outside. Hailey noticed and followed.

"Hey." Marissa greeted Ryan. She began to stare out the window like him. He looked over at her, surprised. He went back to looking out the window, not saying anything. "It's all over the news." Marissa told Ryan.

"What is?" He asked, not knowing what she was talking about.

"The shooting. Somehow, the papers got a hold on the list of people hurt, so they're publishing the whole list of everyone who's dead or injured." Marissa seemed to have recovered form the night before. She passed out drunk on her floor. Summer luckily found her first and had to get her on the bed. How Summer did get Marissa on the bed, neither knew. Marissa had woken up with a bad hangover, and found Summer sleeping on the couch. "I guess Seth's gonna be on the list." She added.

"Yeah, I guess he will be." Ryan commented, not knowing what else to say. He cared for Marissa so much, but lately, it was just weird. He wanted to hug her, but then he felt it wasn't right. It wasn't the right time. But when was the right time?

"Ryan, I feel really bad for the way I've acted. Ya know, like not caring." Marissa tried to apologize.

"Don't be." Ryan played it cool, acting like it wasn't a big deal.

"Well I do." Marissa waited for Ryan to say something, but he didn't. He didn't feel like talking, but Marissa did. "Ryan, are you even paying attention?"

"Yeh, I am." Ryan answered, yet to look over at Marissa again.

"Then how come it feels like I'm the only one giving in to this conversation?" Marissa was getting annoyed.

"I don't know."

"I'll see you later Ryan." Marissa gave up and walked away. Ryan sighed. That wasn't the way he wanted the conversation to go. Or had he? He didn't know what he wanted. Marissa confused him. He understood everything until he saw Marissa. Then things mixed with things and sometimes he forgot what he was doing. She did that to him. But so did Theresa. Ryan wondered how she was doing. It had been a month or two since he saw her. The baby was due soon, and they would finally know who the father was. Ryan knew he should she her soon. So he decided tomorrow. Seth should be out by then, and he knew tomorrow was Theresa's day off. And if it was all right, Ryan would try to get her to stay in the Cohens' pool house. What would happen if she went into labor with no one around? That wouldn't be good.

"So, how are you, Chino?" Ryan turned around to find just him, Summer, and of course Seth in the room. Summer had a few tears staining her face.

"I'm pretty good. How about you?" Ryan walked over, getting closer to Seth.

"I'm okay, I guess. I just can't believe that this happened. I mean, I didn't think that there were people more alone than Cohen. And that they were so evil that they would just kill innocent people." Summer continued to stare longingly at Seth.

"I guess you never know until it happens." Ryan commented.

"Yeah. But you're used to this, right? There had to be tons of shootings in Chino."

"Never one at school." Summer was right. There was a good handful of shootings in Chino.

"Right." Silence overtook them. Summer stared at Seth, while Ryan sat down and stared at his hands. He didn't know what to say, and neither did she. Ryan and Summer never really had a talk between the two. Even if they might have, it was short-lived. Seth or Marissa would always turn up somehow. But Marissa was nowhere in sight, and Seth was still asleep. Which was strange. Ryan had known Seth to be a heavy sleeper, just a few weeks ago, he slept right through first period. Ryan had thought Seth left early, but no. Seth had slept right through his alarm. But still, Seth should've woken up by now. How drugged up was he? Ryan looked into the hall. He couldn't see anyone he knew. He thought he saw Marissa, but it wasn't her. He wanted to leave so he could get away from the awkwardness that was around him. But he wanted to wait for someone he knew, then pretend to chase them down and leave. "So when is Cohen waking up?" Summer asked, pulling Ryan out of his thoughts

"What?" Summer had taken Ryan by surprise.

"When is Cohen supposed to wake up?" Summer reiterated, sounding annoyed.

"I don't know. Whenever, I guess." Ryan answered. He looked over at Seth. It was strange to watch him sleep. He was so silent. It had been over a day without Seth's babble. Over a day of just watching Seth sleep.

"Well, it better be soon. I hate just watching him."

"Yeah, I know." Ryan agreed. They had something in common. But again silence overtook them and Ryan looked out the window. He didn't see Summer looking at him.

"Do you ever miss Chino? Like, regret coming back?" Ryan looked over. It was a strange question.

"Every time I think about Theresa." He answered as he looked down. He didn't know why he answered so truthfully and candidly. Ryan hadn't had time to think of a shield, so he just told the truth.

"You're gonna have to choose someday." Summer commented.

"Choose what?" Ryan was confused.

"Between Marissa and Theresa. You're gonna have to choose someday. They're not gonna wait forever."

"Since when have you given out romantic advice to me?" Ryan questioned.

"Since I got sick of watching Cohen sleep." Summer lightened up the mood. Ryan laughed and she smiled. It felt like they were friends, which they never were fully. They didn't talk a lot to each other. They were more friends by association. "I wonder where everyone went. They haven't been in here for a while." Summer said.

"I don't know." Ryan commented.

"I'm gonna go see if I can find Coop or somebody." Summer got up and left Ryan all alone with Seth. It felt awkward. It wasn't like the night before. It was supposed to be quiet then. With Ryan sitting alone, it was eerily quiet. He prayed Seth would wake up soon. Just so the silence would go away. Usually Ryan didn't mind the silence, but now, it irked him severely. It didn't go away, and Ryan sat there staring at his hands, the window, anywhere but at Seth. Summer didn't return, nor did anyone else. Ryan got up and looked out the window. He looked down at the people standing in front of the hospital. Nurses, parents, children, all waiting for rides, or talking on a cell phone, or getting a smoke in. But as Ryan watched, the silence grew more and more on his nerves. The beeping of the heart monitor was the only thing making noise., and Ryan was ready to rip it out fo the wall. He wanted to be outside. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes. The beeping was too much. Silence never bugged him. He was okay with it, but this time, it was terribly annoying. He thought about Summer's question. Then he thought about his family, when there was a family. It was so long ago. Then he thought about Theresa. And Marissa. He would have to choose sometime.

"I'll be back." Ryan said to Seth and then walked out. He walked past Marissa, Summer, everyone. He got into the elevator. It took him to the ground floor and out the front doors he went. Ryan didn't run away, he just stood there. Hearing the cars and the people talk was heaven. Watching the cars, the adults, the children. After a while, he sat on a bench and continued staring out into the parking lot and beyond. He stared until darkness came and the rain fell.