Beyond My World

--Life As We Know It--

Spinner's POV

I was crying all night. I cried myself to sleep last night. I was so upset. It was my fault. All my fault. If I never would of went along with Jay and his little scheme on Rick, this would of never happened. Jimmy wouldn't be in the hopital. Maybe I would of been there. But I let my anger take over me. I went along with the prank, and look what my price was. Knowing that my best friend was in the hospital was in the hopital, just brings me to tears once again. Not only do I have to live with the fact that I nearly could have killed my best friend, but also my ex-girlfriend is hating my guts for every other reason. I got up from my bed and looked at my clock, it was still early. I wasn't sure if I should go to school. I wasn't even sure if anyone was able to go back. Not just because the school could still be unsafe, but also because of the many police that could still be investigating the school. That's when I heard my mother call.

"Gavin, gavin" I heard her voice get softer and closer. That's when I knew she was at the frame of my door. My back turned to her. She came over to my side. She rubbed my back.

"Honey, you are able to go to school today. But I understand if you don't want to" she said softly. I just nodded. She rubbed my back once more and kissed my forehead. She left my room. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go. But I thought I should. I went and got dressed.

I finally walked out of my house. I had my hands dug deep inside my pockets.The streets were very quiet. I walked quietly. I noticed Paige's van pass by me with Hazel in the passenger seat. They were heading towards the school. She looked at me quickly. I ignored her stare and kept walking slowly. When I finally arrived at the steps of Degrassi, the steps were filled with shrines, flowers, teddy bears and candles that were still burning from the night before. I saw Paige bent over looking at the picture of Jimmy. She was comforting Hazel who would not stop crying. There were many other students standing. Never had I seen so many serious faces at Degrassi. I walked by to see a sign that read "Violence makes Victim of Us All". I gulped back tears after reading that sign. I looked at Paige and I ran inside the building. I noticed I wouldn't be able to get to my locker, becuase that side of the hallway was blocked off with yellow police tape. I walked the opposite way towards my first period class. I saw Jay. He confronted me.

"Hey man you ok" he told me cooly, like nothing had happened between us the day before. I ignored him and tried to walk away.

"Man, look. It's not our fault. You friend was to blame, he should of ran" Jay said. I froze. I thought to myself NO ONE TALKS ABOUT MY BEST FRIEND THAT WAY. All the anger ran up and down my spine until it hit my head and I turned around and punched him dead in his face. He fell to the floor. He looked at me.

"Don't talk about Jimmy like that!!!......Stay away from me...YOU HEAR ME" I spat at him. I walked away to homeroom. I walked in and sat at my regular seat. I slammed my head on my desk and cried. That's when I heard heels running towards me. It was Paige. I knew it was her. She came behind me and rubbed my back.

"Honeybee" she said. I was so surprise to hear her say those words. I looked up at her. She was crying too. She couldn't help but collapse onto me for a hug. I held her tight.

"I'm sorry Paige. It's all my fault. First losing you, now almost losing my best friend" I cried

"Spinner, it's not your fault" she cried on my shoulder.

"How would you know" she pulled away from me slowly and looked at me with a WHAT type look on her face.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Next chapter, Sean and Craig's POV. And some Hazel. That should come sometime October 23, 2004!!!!!