Marissa and Ryan were sitting in the emergency room, waiting for Summer to come out. Marissa was crying, she was still freaked out. Life as they knew it was gone, nothing was the same anymore.

"What's gonna happen Ryan?" Marissa was losing it, she was next.

"I don't know." everything was so sudden, they were falling apart.

"I mean, what did we do to deserve this? I am so scared." Marissa was letting her fears out. She couldn't keep them inside any longer.

"I am too." Ryan wasn't lying. He didn't know what would happen.

"First, Seth falls into a coma, and now Summer..." Marissa said.

"I know."

"But, what's gonna happen to Sum? You didn't see her, Ryan. She was so lost and sad. I've never seen her like that. I don't think anyone has. It was so scary." Marissa prayed Summer was okay. Their world was falling apart.

"She'll be okay, Marissa. Just don't worry." Ryan wanted to cheer Marissa up, but she didn't want it.

"How can I not? Seth is in a coma, and Summer just broke down. What are we supposed to do other than worry for them?" Marissa couldn't look at Ryan, she was too upset. The tears poured from her eyes, Marissa couldn't hold it together. Everything was wrong, upside down. What would turn it right side up?

"Marissa, breathe. It's gonna be okay. You can't let this get you. You gotta be positive." Ryan still couldn't shake the image of Summer outside of the fun house out of his head. It was etched inside.

"Oh God, Ryan. I don't think I can. You're gonna be the last one left." Marissa cried harder.

"Don't say that. You're gonna be okay. We'll get through this. Together." At that moment, Theresa and the baby didn't matter. Chino was gone then, only Newport mattered.

"You mean it?" Marissa stared up into Ryan's clear blue eyes. He was so strong, how did he do it? The world was falling apart all around them, wasn't he scared?

"Yeah, I mean it. How the hell are we gonna get through this stuff if we've got no one?" Ryan stared back into her gorgeous blue eyes.

"What about Theresa? The baby's coming soon. You need to be with her." Marissa wanted Ryan to be by her, but yet she was pushing him away. Why? Why was she doing this?

"I don't need to be by her now. I want to be by you." Ryan told her. A tiny smile formed on Marissa's face, and she fell into him, absorbing his presence. He held her tight, he didn't want to lose her.

"Excuse me, are you the kids that admitted Summer Roberts?" Someone said to them. They quickly let go and looked up. A doctor stood there.

"Yes, yes we are." Marissa said and she and Ryan stood up.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Macklavoy." The doctor shook hands with them.

"How is she?" Marissa was afraid.

"Oh, she's fine. Some stitches, nothing serious. I've talked to her father, I know him personally and he gave permission to be released."

"When can she be released?" Marissa was just glad that Summer was okay.

"Now. Uh, she's in room 137." Dr. Macklavoy told them.

"Thank you so much. Come on Ryan." Ryan and Marissa left the doctor and rushed to Summer's room. When they got there, they found Summer sitting on the bed, her hands bandaged. "Hey Sum." Marissa greeted her. Summer looked up, but didn't say anything. Her voice was gone. "Come on. We're gonna take you home." Summer didn't move, she stayed glued to her spot. It was so strange to see Summer like this. This wasn't the Summer they knew. The Summer they knew was strong, outspoken, powerful. This Summer was weak, silent, powerless. The sight brought tears to Marissa's eyes. "Sum, how about you get up and we go? How about it?" Marissa stared at Summer as she got up off the bed. She was still wearing her regular clothes, so the slowly walked out of the hospital. Summer was weak. Marissa walked next to her. She felt responsible. Marissa made Summer go to that stupid carnival and look what happened. Summer was lost.

They reached the car and Ryan took the keys. Both Marissa and Summer sat in the back, Marissa didn't want to let go of Summer. What would happen next? Hadn't they been through enough pain?

As Ryan drove, he kept checking in his rearview mirror to see Summer and Marissa. He had never been really close with Summer, but now, it was all different. Lights overhead shone on the girls' faces. Marissa was still crying, while Summer had an emotionless face. It bore no expression, it was blank.

Summer was so confused inside. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She wanted to scream, but her voice wasn't working. She was trapped, lost inside.

Marissa couldn't look at her friend anymore, it hurt her every time she did. She felt to horrible, so responsible. It was all her fault. Every attempt at making things better had all failed. Marissa was a failure, plain and simple.

The drive was dark and silent, everyone waited for it to end. Especially Summer. She was sick of the world. No, she wasn't going to kill herself, she just didn't want to be near anyone anymore. You can't get hurt if there's no one to hurt you.

They were getting closer to Summer's house, she was so close to being done with interaction. She didn't need it, she was sick of it. She would be alone. Life could be okay with just her and Princess Sparkles. Yeah, it could definitely be okay.

Ryan followed Marissa's directions to Summer's house and pulled into the driveway. No one was home, it was pitch black inside. Marissa opened her door and helped Summer out, and they walked up to the door.

"Do you want me to come in?" Marissa asked Summer. Summer didn't look up, but shook her head. "Okay, well, I'll call you later, all right?" Marissa told her, disappointed and Summer nodded. Summer tried to open the door with her keys, but she couldn't get the key in the lock. "Here, let me help you." Marissa helped Summer with the keys and it unlocked. Summer didn't say thank you, she felt like an idiot. She couldn't even unlock a door. She was useless. Marissa didn't mind not being thanked. She was too busy thinking about her friend. Summer turned the doorknob, she could at least do that and opened it. Marissa looked inside, but only saw darkness. Summer began to walk in, disappearing. She didn't turn on the light, and started to close the door until Marissa could only see her face.

"Bye Coop." Summer whispered softly to Marissa before closing the door. Her voice was soft, so vulnerable. Summer walked away from the door, she never did turn on the light. The car's headlights shone through the window and lit Summer's way. She closed her eyes for a moment, and let her tears fall. She was done with people, they hurt her too much. Summer tripped up the stairs and into her room. She took her only picture of Seth and her, and one of all four of them, and ripped both to shreds. She threw them, but they only fell limply to the floor. Summer stared at them as they fell and heard Ryan drive Marissa and him away. She grabbed Princess Sparkles and went to her corner.

Back in the car, Marissa and Ryan sat silent as he drove. She was worried about Summer more than ever. Summer disturbed Marissa for some reason. She didn't make Marissa feel right.

"Marissa? You okay?" Ryan asked, glancing over.

"Uh-huh." Marissa tried to answer, but her tears were falling too hard.

"Don't lie." Ryan saw through her easily.

"I just wish everything was okay." Marissa told him truthfully.

"Yeah, I do too. But it might never be." Ryan wasn't helping.

"What if Seth never comes out of the coma?" Marissa wanted a good answer. But she knew she wouldn't get one.

"He will. He had to." Ryan told her. Seth had to wake up, he couldn't let everyone go on living in this misery, could he?

"I don't know. What if he doesn't?" Marissa hated how everyone was living.

"Marissa, it's only been about a week. That's not very long. He'll wake up." though Ryan said this, he didn't fully believe it. He didn't know the normal time for someone to be in a coma.

"It doesn't matter. I'm still afraid." Marissa told him and the conversation ended. She didn't want to talk anymore, it just made her feel worse. He drove to his house, he knew the way. Ryan wanted to collapse upon his bed in the pool house and sleep forever, he was tired. Marissa looked out the window, and watched the houses go by. They finally pulled into the Cohens' driveway, both were glad. Ryan quickly jumped out of the car.

"Bye Marissa." He said, closing the door. She still sat in the passenger seat, staring at him as he walked up to the door. It had again become awkward between them. Marissa slid over into the driver's seat and began her lonely drive home.

Ryan walked into the kitchen and found Sandy sitting there. He didn't notice Ryan at first, so Ryan just stood there. Finally, he noticed.

"Ryan, hey. How was the carnival?" Sandy asked, liking the company.

"You wouldn't want to hear about it." Ryan tried to get away.

"Try me." Ryan looked back, stunned. He still wasn't used to people caring about what he did. Newport had emotion, Chino didn't. "Sit down, take a load off. I'd love to hear your tale."

"Are you sure? Ryan still didn't think Sandy would want to hear his story.

"Positive. Now come sit. Tell me what happened, how was it?" Ryan sat down.

"Horrible." That was all Ryan answered.

"Hmm, now aren't carnivals supposed to be fun?" Sandy hadn't been to one in a while.

"Yeah. It was okay until the fun house." Ryan skipped most of it.

"You don't strike me as a 'fun house' kind of guy." Sandy could barely see Ryan near one.

"I'm not. Nor a Ferris wheel guy. I hate them." Ryan thought about the height.

"I do too. Too much..." Sandy didn't know how to phrase it.

"Height?" Ryan suggested.

"Yeah. "

"Well, we got to the room of mirrors." Ryan saw Sandy's confused look. "It was a really, really big fun house. But me and Marissa were almost done with everything. When we heard something. Marissa went to go check on Summer and I went outside. Then, like five minutes later, they came out." Ryan didn't want to tell Sandy.

"What's so bad about that?" Sandy didn't understand.

"Summer had freaked or something, and she broke a couple of mirrors and cut her hands up." Ryan spilled.

"Oh my God. Is she okay?" Sandy was worried about Summer.

"Yeah. We took her to the hospital, she got some stitches. That's it." Ryan was done.

"Oh." Sandy was stunned, he didn't think that would happen.

"Where's Kirsten?" Ryan said, changing the subject, he just noticed that she wasn't there.

"She refused to come home. I can barely get her to leave his side." Sandy wanted to be by Seth, but he couldn't sit idle next to him for hours.

"Oh. When do you think he'll wake up?" Ryan hadn't talked to Sandy in a while, everything was off the wall.

"I don't know. He's known to be a big sleeper. What's it been? Since he fell into the coma? That was a Wednesday." Sandy began his reply.

"Nine days." Ryan answered Sandy's question.

"Well, he'll wake up. He's got to. But it better be soon. Because I don't know how much more I can take of Kirsten just sitting at that hospital." Both Sandy and Ryan laughed. There was a pause. "He'll wake up soon. Don't worry." Sandy got up and put his cup in the sink. "Good night Ryan."

"Night." Ryan watched Sandy leave the kitchen and go to the stairs, where he would be welcomed by an empty bed.

Ryan didn't stay in the kitchen for much longer, he headed to the pool house. It was dark, he collapsed on the bed. He stared up at the ceiling, waiting for something to happen. But nothing did. Why should it? It was a ceiling, they usually don't move.

Ryan got up and peered out a window to see the ocean. This was a much better spot to look at the ocean from than the Ferris wheel. Ryan was on solid ground, and he could still see the glittering ocean.

Ryan looked away and stared out another window. One in which he could see the Cohens' house. No lights were on, Ryan could see Seth's room. It had been dark for a while, only Ryan had went in it once and got Captain Oats so Seth could have him. But Seth couldn't see him. It had just dawned on Ryan that when Sandy and him had talked about Seth, they never actually said his name. Seth was referred to as 'he.' but yet, they always knew who they were talking about. Maybe it didn't make them feel sadder if they didn't refer Seth as 'Seth.'

Ryan once again collapsed in his bed, and tried not to think about what was happening and sleep.

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Marissa sat there, staring at the red light, waiting for it to change. It was Sunday afternoon, and Marissa thought she would visit Seth. She had been out once since Friday night, only to visit Summer. But all the lights were out and it was locked, no one came to the door when Marissa rung the doorbell. So Marissa had given up, and returned back to her mother's house.

The light still hadn't changed. Why was it taking so long? Marissa groaned and turned on the radio. The Killers blasted throughout her car, and Marissa sang along, singing about how somebody's boyfriend looked like somebody's girlfriend. The light finally changed, and Marissa stepped on the gas. The Killers ended, and next it was Nirvana's, "Rape Me." the song wasn't very pleasant, but still it held some interest.

Tomorrow school began again. Marissa was really scared. It would be strange going back, how can you forget the images they had seen? Nothing was the same anymore, none of them could go back.

Marissa pulled into the hospital. It was crowded, as usual, and she scanned for a parking spot. She saw some, but tried to get one closer to the doors. But, she realized, why bother? Everyone tries to find a spot closer, something better, no one's ever really satisfied. So Marissa pulled into one of the spots that was farther away, it satisfied Marissa. She didn't mind the walking, it was exercise. Marissa walked past all the cars, and went through the moving door. It was freezing inside the hospital, it always was. She headed to the elevators, and waited amongst the people. The doors opened, people got out, and Marissa got in. The button for Seth's floor was already pushed, Marissa just stood there. Someone got off on every level, it began to irk Marissa. When would they get to Seth's floor? But then, she noticed someone she knew on the elevator. Holly. She looked different. She was dead pale, shaking, and crying.

"Holly?" Marissa found herself saying. Holly turned around and saw Marissa.

"Oh. Hi, Marissa." She greeted Marissa. Holly didn't seem very glad to see Marissa. Right then, Marissa forgot about what had happened so long ago between Holly and Luke.

"What's wrong?" Marissa wanted to know.

"My sister. She was hurt in the shooting. Something is going wrong with her breathing." Marissa remembered Liz, Holly's little sister. It must have been Liz's first year at Harbor High. "Well, this is my stop. Bye." Holly began to get out.

"I hope she gets better." Marissa told Holly, who turned around.

"Thanks." Holly gave a weak smile and left. Marissa hadn't even thought about all the other people affected by the shooting. She was already sorting through enough drama with Seth. The elevator finally got to Seth's floor. Marissa stepped off the elevator, and walked to his room. The walk was short, and she could see Seth lying on the bed from the door. As she went in, she could see Kirsten sitting on a chair.

"Hi, Mrs. Cohen." Marissa greeted Kirsten, who looked away from Seth and to Marissa.

"Marissa, hi. How are you?" She tried to put on a good front, but Kirsten couldn't do it. She was too depressed.

"I'm okay. What about you?" Marissa asked, everything felt strange now.

"Same." Kirsten looked back to Seth sadly. He hadn't moved, of course.

"Has he..." Marissa started, but she didn't need to say more. Kirsten knew who and what she was talking about. There was no answer, but the obvious.

"No." Kirsten shook her head. "I heard about Summer. How is she?" It was horrible what happened to Summer.

"I tried seeing her yesterday, but no one was home." Marissa hoped the Roberts' hadn't taken Summer away. But she doubted Summer's father even knew her problems. Marissa knew all about Summer's arguments with her dad.

"Oh. School starts up tomorrow, doesn't it?" Kirsten knew Ryan would have to go.

"Yeah. We gotta go back." Just talking about the school sent shivers down her spine. How would she react once she was back inside?

"I don't think I ever could've gone back." Kirsten commented. She was barely able to watch it on the television, how must it feel to be in it?

"Right." Marissa didn't know what to say. She couldn't say anything else. She hated talking about it.

"Um, I'm gonna go get a cup of coffee or something so you can be alone with...." Kirsten didn't finish. She never said his name. It just hurt too much to say it. Marisa nodded, and watched Kirsten get up and leave. She suddenly didn't want to be alone with him. She wanted to run, but her feet stay stuck. And then they moved her closer to him. Why was she doing this? She didn't want to, but yet she was.

"Hey Seth." She found herself saying and then sitting where Kirsten had been. All she had ever don't was just watch him, Marissa never spoke to him. "Um, school's restarting tomorrow and it's been about two weeks." Marissa didn't know what to say. Everything around her was sadness, what good was there? "Seth..." For some reason, Marissa wanted to pour her heart out to him. Tell him everything she felt, all her pain. He would listen, no one did. She didn't want to be told it would be all right, she just wanted someone to listen. She had tried to talk to with Ryan, but he didn't listen, he suggested.

"Seth, you've gotta wake up. We're all kind of lost inside." How could it be, that a boy who barely existed a year ago, now ruin everyone? Seth meant so much to everyone, he didn't even know. What would happen if he woke up? Not if, it was definite. Seth had to wake up, he couldn't stay like he was forever, could he? What if he did? Everyone would break down, just like Summer did. She was the first, there were many more to come. "When are you waking up, Seth?"

Marissa had been using his name. It was easier to say it with no one in the room. No one else that could talk, at least. Marissa stared down at him, his eyes closed shut. Marissa couldn't remember the last time she had spoken to him. It had been before her mother's wedding, when she had Seth had used Ryan to get girls and get out of fights. He had started it of course, and then he left. She never would've thought that would the last conversation that she would have with him, would be a stupid argument that didn't matter. She might have spoken to him once after that, but that's it. Summer always pulled Marissa away when Seth came near. She always thought Summer would eventually cool off and get back together with Seth. But they never had a chance.

"Seth, I am so sorry. For everything. It seems like the last few months have disappeared." It was true. Seth in a coma made everything come into focus, and most arguments seemed to evaporate. Marissa couldn't help but look at Seth. He was at peace, yet the world around him wasn't. Newport was filled with sadness, they could barely smile now. The times Marissa was with Ryan, she smiled, and he did also. The gift shop, the Ferris wheel, the spinning ride, were the happiest times in Marissa's life for a while. Marissa hadn't smiled since seeing Summer in that fun house. That image, along with what she saw in the shooting would be burned in her head. For a while, Marissa had forgotten what happened in the school. She suddenly remembered the girl. Marissa thought that was the hardest thing to deal with from the shooting. But it wasn't. Watching Seth lie on the bed, waiting for him to wake up was. He wasn't dead, he was kind of alive. Alive, but dead. In limbo. Waiting for the gates to open, or for him to fall back to Earth.

"Seth, you mean more to us than you could ever imagine." Marissa was almost in tears. She had been denying all this pain she felt, it couldn't stay down any longer. She would only cry, now break down like Summer. Summer had suppressed her pain for way too long, Summer had still been upset about Seth leaving so many months ago. When did Newport get so fucked up? Nothing was right anymore, the shooting had left everyone alone and empty. Something disappeared that day, who knew what. But there was a void in everyone. So many lives were broken, so many had taken their last breath. Everyone had see Columbine on the news, but they weren't running out of it. Everyone watched September 11th, but they weren't the ones falling from the building or running down the stairs terrified. No one thought the news would come to them. But it did, and they were stuck with it.

"Seth......" Marissa began, but she never finished. She didn't know what else to say. No words formed in her mouth, and she was just left with the word hanging in the air. Her visit wasn't going as she had planned. She had hoped she could just talk to Seth, and she would be okay, and Seth would soon wake up. But none of that was happening. And Marissa didn't know when Seth would wake up. Maybe he never would. As much as Marissa didn't want to think about it, it was possible. Seth might never wake up. He might be in that coma, lying there forever. It was a bad thought, but a possible one. It was everyone's worst fear, losing Seth. And now, Marissa was afraid for Summer, whom she hadn't seen in a day and a half. Life sucked lately, and it seemed like it would get worse and worse. School would start, and they would have to go without Seth. How would they get through? Marissa wiped a tear away, she was getting too upset, she had to leave.

"Don't leave us Seth. We miss you too much already." And then she walked away.