Beyond My World

--Silence Kills pt.2--

I was sitting in one of the bathroom stalls. Sitting on the floor, knees against my chest. I felt horrible. Everyone was pointing fingers, giving me looks, and whispering things. They had no respect for a girl that was nearly killed. I don't mean to say it all snotty-like. But Sean saved my life. But the thing that ticked me off, was that I, myself didn't say thank you to Sean. I felt so stupid. He did something no other person would probably do. It was so brave of him. But I still can't believe Rick died. He could of handled it a different way, like telling Raditch. I mean Raditch was his guard the day he showed up at Degrassi for start of grade 10. But he decided to take the hard way out. He could of faced criminal charges, but he recieved worse. But now things are different. All of Degrassi is down. They're all scared and worried, and I can't stand to see my school like this. I had a toilet paper in my hand as I wiped away my tears. They I heard the bathroom door creak open. I sniffled a bit.

"Emma" I heard a voice said. I knew who it was, it was Sean. I stepped up and slowly opened the stall door.

"Are you okay" Sean asked me. I wiped away another falling tear. He looked at me with sad eyes. His profile looked cool though. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Sean...Thank you so much" I cried onto his shoulder.

"I did what I had to Emma" Sean said to me

"I know, but you saved my life Sean. Of course I have to thank you" I told him

"Your welcome, just don't mention it ok" Sean said

I nodded. Why was Sean so uncomfortable with talking about it. Sean saved me. He didn't kill Rick. It was an accident. Atleast.....I think it was.

I was in front of my computer during MI (Media Immersion). Mr. Simpson was talking to a few students while the rest of us had some quiet time. I was speechless about the shooting. I mean I'm walking down the hall from lunch and I see my friend Jimmy laying on the floor with a open bloody wound on his back. I freaked out and dropped my bag. I had kneeled beside him. I couldn't touch him. I felt wrong if I touched him. Not in the way of feeling dirty, or making people think it was me. But it seemed wrong. He was laying there, not breathing. It literally made me stop breathing. I heard someone yell the words

"Don't turn away from me"

That's when I shot up and ran back down the hallway leaving my bag sitting there. I ran into the bathroom and turned the cold water on quickly. I had splashed it onto my face thinking it would snap me back into reality. But it didn't help, because when I peeked my head outside the bathroom door the halls were quiet. Until I heard a gun shot. I ran back down the hallway and into my next class. Everyone had stared at me. I quickly went up to Ms.Kwan and told her what I had heard and seen. She quickly left the room to go to the office after telling the class what page to read in our workbooks. That's all I could really remember until Joey had finally picked me up and I had been being attacked by reporters. Then I remember the news. Finding out that it was Rick. He died and that Jimmy was in the hospital in critical condition. I have to admit that yesterday night I locked myself in my room and cried. I couldn't help it. Jimmy was my friend. And I couldn't hold on to that fact of someone else in my life dieing.

"Craig, you ok" Mr.Simpson asked me as he snapped me out of my daze

"Y-yeah, Mr.Simpson, i'm fine" I lied to him

I was with Jay at the end of the day sitting by Jay's car in the parking lot. We were just sitting there.

"We have to turn our selves in" I suggested out of the air

"Alex have you gone crazy" Jay told me

"You know what, maybe I have. Going along with this plan, being with you right now. You know instead, maybe I've gone insane Jay" I yelled at him

"Alex, don't be stupid. Turning ourselves in could land us behind bars" Jay told me

"I can't take this anymore" I told him

"She's right" a voice said. I turned around and saw Spinner standing behind me.

"What do you want. Shouldn't you be crying over your boyfriend right now" Jay yelled

" The guilt is killing me. That should of been me or you or Alex. Not Jimmy. You know that" Spinner yelled at him

"Spinner go home and leave us alone" Jay yelled at him as he tried to comfort me with his arm around my shoulder, which I rejected.

"Alex" he asked

"I'm with Spin. I can't take the pressure. I'd rather be behind bars then have this damn voice in my head that keeps telling me to do opposites" I told him. I immediatley grabbed Spinner's jacket and pulled him away from Jay's car and walked away.

"Alex you can't just leave me" Jay yelle dafter me

"WATCH ME" I yelled back

I walked away. I actually walked away. I mean I could of.... so long ago. Jay was getting too hard. I mean he lived for trouble. I have to admit it was fun. But it was time to let go. He has helped me through so much. But he was childish. When I say he helped me, I mean he comforted me. See my mom's boyfriend beats my her. My mom never learned to pick the good guys. He has been getting to physical these days. It's going crazy. I keep telling her to leave him, but she refuses. She crys on my shoulder literally every night. Saying how he's horrible, he's a monster. But then when I suggest leaving him. She cry's saying that she loves him. Makes no sense....right. But that's why I went along with the whole ribbon campaign Emma made up. I was with the whole women's violence protest. But when Rick died and Jimmy got shot for our actions, makes me no better than Rick. I mean it makes us look just as guilty as Rick was for hurting that girl Terri. In my point of view I killed Rick and I shot Jimmy. What can I say...I'm the total bitch for going with the plan. But I'm not trying to turn back time...I'm trying to fix what's coming next in the future.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm so sorry for the late update, but my computer is totally wacking out on me. I know this was supposed to be up last saturday, but once get the point. So anyways, I've been trying to keep track of the newest episodes. And I can say that they are awsome. PLEASE DON'T STOP READING JUST BECAUSE THIS IS LATE. IT HAS A LITTLE MORE TO GO.....SO JUST BARE WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANX LOADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......( oh yeah, in my POV I think this chpt. ROXXXX, what do you think.........REVIEW)