Wow, it's the end. Amazing. More than three months ago, I was talking to my friend about this idea, and she made me write it and now look at it. Sixteen chapters later, it's over.(?) So here it is:
Summer didn't know if she was alive. Her eyes were closed, she never wanted to open them. When she opened them, it would be reality, and Summer would have to face her consequences. If she could, she'd keep her eyes closed forever, to not see the world. In other words, be in a coma. She never thought she'd have wanted what Seth went through, but she did. He had been safe, then when he came into the world, look what happened. The world caused too much pain, and who would want to face it?
At this point, Summer regretted everything. She put everyone thorough so much, how could it go back to normal? All she had wanted was Seth to wake up, and he did. But she ruined it. Seth had woken up, Summer could think about it clearly now. He was out of his coma, they had waited a month and a half.
Neil stared at his daughter. What had happened to his princess? Summer was skin and bones, he never remembered her to be that thin. It was becoming clear to him that he might have to take her to a mental institution. She needed it. He didn't want to, but it might help her. She had tried to kill herself, Neil was wrapping his mind around it. She had wanted to die, really die. Life had been too difficult for her to deal. She wasn't allowed to be alone now. Suicide watch kept her here.
Neil remembered the good times with Summer. When she was little, and he could protect her. But he couldn't protect her from herself. No one could stop her, not even Neil. He had thought Seth could help her, but that didn't work. Still, he couldn't blame everything on Seth. The boy had been in a coma, he couldn't have done anything. So who's fault was it?
Summer knew her father was in the room, she just had that feeling. She would have to open her eyes eventually. So she decided soon. Then she would beg her dad to not send her away. He didn't want to, no one did. So why? Why did they have to send Summer away? She would be okay, as long as Seth was there. She probably would've indefinitely gone through with it as soon as they walked into that room. But she heard Seth's voice and that intrigued her. And it had been him. She got to look at him, for, say fifteen minutes. Then the world went black. And Summer thought she had been dead. But she wasn't. She was alive, and not near ready to face the world and its' reality. But she still opened her eyes.
"Daddy?" Summer asked, finally opening her eyes. Hospital rooms looked so much different from the bed. Her father smiled and hugged her, barely not breaking her bones.
"Oh baby, thank God you're okay." Neil was almost in tears, so happy that Summer was alive. He didn't want to let her go, if he did, he might lose her again.
"Yeah, I am." Summer didn't really know what to say. She wasn't ready, why had she opened her eyes?
"Don't ever scare me like that again." Neil didn't let go, Summer fell into sobs. She felt horrible, putting her father through this. She put them all through hell and for what? Nothing. No good came of it, and Summer was sure she would be sent away. "Baby, it's okay. You're alive and safe." Neil wanted Summer to be happy, but really, how could she be? Summer just tried to kill herself. They finally let go and all Summer wanted was to be held again. She felt empty and alone. She felt worse than she had in that month ever. The whole time she hadn't had human contact while she was alone. Now, she had it, but as soon as it came, it was taken away. Her body racked in sobs, and she pulled her knees close to her chest to calm her shaking body.
Summer felt sick to her stomach. How could she have done this to all the people who actually gave a damn about her? Seth, her dad, Marissa, Ryan. Four people. Only four people who really may have cared about her. Could Ryan even be considered? Summer doubted anyone cared about her now.
"Calm down, baby. It's all right." Neil tried to cheer up her daughter, but it wasn't quite working. Her tears cascaded down her face, Neil couldn't believe this was the same little girl who used to scream for him to push her higher on a swing. He couldn't believe this was his daughter.
"No it's not!" Summer screamed, hitting away her father's hand. All she wanted was some sort of touch, yet she hit it away when it came to her.
"Summer, breath. It'll be all right." Neil hugged his daughter, trying to stop her shaking. She didn't hug back, she wouldn't. As father held her, she did calm down. She liked the embrace.
"You're just gonna send me away." She whispered, not looking up after they split. That was why she was gonna die, because she didn't want to go away. But she had lost the will to fight.
"What?" Neil didn't understand her. Summer finally lifted her small head and looked at her father straight in the eye.
"That's why I did it. You were gonna send me away." Summer realized her whole life had hit rock bottom. She weighed around nothing, and she had just tried to kill herself. But she still didn't want to go away. She wanted to stay here, with everyone. She wanted Seth.
"Oh." Neil couldn't say anything. Was that the real reason? Was he the reason?
"I don't wanna go to a mental institute. I wanna stay here." Summer wasn't going to go. But it probably could be pretty easy since Summer may have weighed at most, like 90 pounds.
"Summer, you need help. You need to go." Neil didn't want his daughter to go just as much as she didn't want to. This was his only daughter. Neil loved her, always had. Could he send her there?
"No." Summer shook her head, her hair flailed with it. "I am not going."
"Summer...." Neil began to argue.
"I promise I'll be good. I swear, nothing will happen." Summer pleaded with him. She had to argue and not go there. She only was arguing half-heartedly, the more she thought about it, the more she figured she'd have to go.
"How can I trust you?" Neil was scared that she would try again, and that time, he really would lose her.
"You can! I did it....I did it because of......because of Cohen." Summer had to try anything to stay in Newport.
"Seth?" Neil was perplexed, but he listened to his daughter.
"Yeah. I didn't because I missed him. I hated being alone and he was hurt. And I just couldn't do it without him." Summer remembered the first time she saw Seth. When she was in third grade. Her parents were dealing with their divorce, and Summer pretty much hated the world. But she saw Seth, and it just made her feel good. He had still done that, until earlier.
"Oh." Neil was speechless again, he never knew his daughter to like a guy so much. One of them, no more than the other, got bored with the other, and they left her. But Summer always grinned and went on with life. This time she hadn't been able to.
"I promise I won't do ti again. Just please, don't send me away. I just want Cohen." Summer hadn't thought she loved Seth as much as she did.
"Want me to go get him?" Summer nodded in response. Tears still fell down as he left the room. A nurse saw him leave, and immediately went to watch Summer. Ryan, Marissa, and Seth sat in chairs, all three of them staring down. "Seth." Seth got up and went to Neil. "She wants to see you. Just be careful. She's really emotional."
"Okay." Seth nodded, he was happy, yet scared. Happy that Summer was okay, scared to see her. Neil walked down the hall, away from Seth as he walked closer and closer to Summer's room. Seth glanced back to Marissa and Ryan, who gave Seth hopeful looks. He took a deep breath and walked into Summer's room.
The nurse then exited and Seth looked to Summer. She sat on the bed, curled up, knees to chest. Seth walked slowly, not wanting to disturb her. He couldn't hear her crying, though he figured she was. Seth couldn't speak, his voice had vanished. Just looking at Summer freaked him out, there had been moments he thought she was dead.
"Hey," Seth finally choked out as he got a tod bit closer. Summer looked up, the tears still falling down her face. Seth had never gotten a good chance to look at Summer. He had seen her, but it wasn't the right time. Seth was confused, he loved Summer, but yet she had changed so much. Summer pale, paler than any person Seth ever saw. Her bones protruded through the skin, she was skeletal. Summer's hands were horribly cut up, for a reason Seth did not know.
"Hi." She answered, forcing a small smile. He did also, it was quite awkward between the two. Couples in Newport went through was too much, especially Seth and Summer.
"How ya feeling?" Seth asked, knowing nothing else to say.
"Like shit." Summer sounded like she had, maybe just a little softer. They laughed a tiny bit, Summer was beginning to hate what was happening. She should've never agreed with her father to send Seth in. She wasn't ready. Or too ready.
"Figured." Seth had no clue what else to say. Things had gone from bad to horrible between Seth and Summer.
Summer looked at Seth. He was just like she remembered. She felt bad for what she put him through.
"I'm sorry." She said to him. She just wanted to go back. Back to when Seth got on the top of the table to say how much he loved her. That was almost a year ago.
"It's fine." But it really wasn't. Summer hurt Seth a lot.
"No, it's not. I'm really, really, sorry." Summer felt herself ready to bawl. She hated herself.
"I should be the one who's apologizing." Seth was the one who caused this, made Summer this way.
"Why?" Summer didn't want his apologies, but maybe she did. Seth had left her.
"Because I left you....twice. But it was just, I got scared and I didn't know what to do. I thought you would see the dork in me, and leave. So I left. And I'm sorry." It was kinda nice talking to Summer. Neither was hugely upset, and he could finally just talk with her. That hadn't happened since.....damn, before his argument with Marissa back at that restaurant.
"You know I would never do that. Leave you." Summer really did love him, she knew that now. Every other guy never apologized, but Seth had.
"But you did." Seth still remembered the day the he got back. Seth thought Summer wouldn't be that pissed at Seth. Yeah, he was wrong. Her exact words were, "Don't ever talk to me again, asshole." and then she had slammed the door in his face.
"You hurt me." Summer always needed a good reason to hate someone. Seth gave it to her, and she took it. But it didn't last forever.
"I'm sorry." Seth hadn't wanted to leave her. He hadn't been thinking when he left. It had been stupid.
"I waited for you both times." Summer told Seth. She felt vulnerable, like her feelings were all out in the open.
"What?" Seth didn't understand what Summer meant.
"At first, when you left, I cried and I waited until finally I couldn't do it. Marissa took em to some parties to get my mind off you, but they didn't really help. Everyday I checked the docks, hoping you had come back. And when you did, I couldn't forgive you." Summer didn't cry, it felt good to put out her feelings.
"Oh." Seth felt horrible. How much pain he put Summer through. "I never meant to leave you the second time."
"I know." But it still hurt.
"I looked for you." Seth relived that day. The day he thought he was dead.
"Same here." Summer responded.
"I felt so bad for leaving you. And when I heard that gunshot, I thought about you. I was so scared that if I never made it out, I would never get to tell you how much I loved you." Summer melted for Seth. She loved him, really loved him. "Cause I love you."
"I love you too Cohen." They stared at each other, Summer lost in his eyes. "Come here." Seth still felt awkward going near Summer, the last time she almost died. But Seth dutifully walked over, and she hugged him, he hugged her. She felt safe once again, like she could be okay.
"I'm sorry." Seth repeated in her ear.
"I know." Summer still couldn't get herself to say to him that she forgave him. Did she? He had put her through a lot, but she loved him. Could she love Seth even though she didn't forgive him? Sure, she loved her dad, and she never forgave him, but he was different. Seth was someone Summer chose, did she have to forgive him?
They continued to hug, Seth was just glad she was okay. Summer thought about the shooting, the fear, Seth. So much had changed between them, they lost something. But it had been missing since summer. Summer felt close to Seth, but they couldn't get the innocence they had at first.
Seth knew something was up, he could feel it. Summer wasn't hugging him now, she just lie limply in his arms. He felt bad for everything, all the pain they caused each other.
"What's wrong?" Seth asked Summer. Summer didn't want to talk, she thought about the hospital. Where she would most likely be sent to. Knowing no one, not having Seth, she was afraid.
"Nothing." She didn't look up at Seth, afraid she might break.
"There's something wrong. What is it?" Seth knew Summer too well. He knew almost everything, more not that he spoke to her rather than watch her feed squirrels.
"It's nothing. I'm fine." Summer would not look up at Seth, she couldn't stop thinking about being sent away.
"I don't think you are. You say you're fine, but you just get worse." That might have been true, but Summer wouldn't admit it. "Summer, look at me." Seth wanted to know. Summer had been so open, and then she just shut down. "Summer."
"What?" Summer finally looked up, staring up into Seth's concerned eyes. How had she gotten him?
"What is wrong?" Seth loved Summer, and he cared about her. He wanted to help her more than ever, especially since he almost lost her.
"I'm scared Cohen." Summer's voice quivered. "I'm scared as hell. I don't wanna go to a mental institute." Summer cried. Seth didn't know how to answer that. She had tried to kill herself, but it was Summer. Summer couldn't leave. Seth wouldn't know what to do. But it might be good for her. "Cohen?" She asked him. Right when Summer opened up, Seth shut down.
"Summer," Seth started, "I don't want you to leave either. But it might be best. You can get some times away from Newport." Seth didn't like the idea, but it would help Summer.
"No, Seth. I don't wanna be away from Newport. I don't wanna be away from you. Because you're the reason I did it." Seth felt worse than ever with those words. "But you're the reason I stayed."
"But you didn't." Seth didn't deserve Summer, he had destroyed her beauty.
"But I did! Seth, when you got shot, and I saw you in the hospital that first day, I wanted to hurt myself. I didn't show it, I just acted as best I could. And then Marissa called to tell me you fell in a coma. I wanted to die. I felt responsible. Like, if I had forgiven you, you might have been okay, and we could've gotten through it together. But you weren't there. I tried to be okay, and not show what I was feeling, but it was hard. Marissa tried to help, but she couldn't. No one could. And one day, I just broke. I couldn't live in this world without you. So I hid. And I was gonna end it earlier. I was afraid. Afraid of being sent away, afraid of facing the world without you, I was just afraid. If Marissa and Ryan had been the only ones who came into my room, even my parents, I could've done it, no doubt about it. But I heard your voice. And I wanted to see your face one last time."
"Summer, I love you." Seth held Summer as close as he could. She had told him everything, and he never would've thought it was like that. Summer fell apart in his arms, everything was out in the open.
"I'm sorry." She told him again and again, trying to apologize.
"It's okay. It doesn't matter." The shooting had ripped them apart, but yet brought them back together.
A knock at the door stopped them and they looked to the doorway. Marissa and Ryan stood there, they had wanted to check on Summer. Seth and Summer separated, and she wiped tears away from her eyes.
"Hey guys," Seth greeted Marissa and Ryan as they walked in.
"Hey," Marissa said back. "Hey Sum." Her eyes were brimming with tears.
"Hi." Summer answered, Seth moving away from her to let Marissa hug Summer.
"How are you feeling?" Marissa asked, happy that she was talking to Summer. This must have been the fear that Summer had felt when Marissa ODed. It was deja vu. They hadn't really learned a thing from their mistakes.
"Better." Summer told her once they stopped hugging. She looked over to Seth and smiled at him.
"I'm glad you're okay." Marissa felt a little bit better.
"I am too. And I wish I could stay." Summer didn't want to leave. She might try again without Seth.
"What do you mean?" Marissa asked, already thinking she knew. Ryan didn't say anything, he wasn't the closest to Summer. He felt as though only really close people should be in the room. But Marissa had pushed him.
"I'm gonna have to go to a loony bin." Summer was tired, but she wanted a solution to her problem.
"I didn't have to go. Persuade your dad. We'll help no matter what." Marissa tried to cheer Summer up.
"Right." Both boys agreed.
"Thanks. I know you wanna talk, but I'm really tired." Summer just wanted to sleep. Everything had exhausted her.
"Sure. We'll go." Seth said and they said their goodbyes. Seth kissed Summer on the cheek and they left, with a nurse coming in to watch Summer. Then Summer regretted sending them out. She was uncomfortable. And she hated the bed. But she guessed she would have to get used to it if she would go to a loony bin. The beds always sucked there. Would she be okay there? She was scared. Would they tease her? Sure, they would all have problems, but screwed up people cane be cruel. Would Summer make it through without Seth? She hadn't before.
Summer looked at her arm. The stitches had finally been removed from her hands. But the scars were still clearly visible. Her wrist was wrapped up from the cut, she didn't want to look under it. She knew the cut was deep, she wasn't ready to see it.
Summer supposed she should sleep. That was why she kicked them all out. She laid down and shut her eyes. Immediately she was tired.
"Mr. Roberts, I think Summer will be okay since Seth is here." Summer could hear Marissa say. It was hours later, and Marissa, Seth, and Ryan were talking to Neil. They all thought Summer was sleeping, which she had been.
"It still might be best for her. To take some time away from Newport." Neil was slowly caving in, he didn't really want to send Summer away.
"She'll get worse without Seth." Ryan finally said something.
"Yeah. She even said so herself." Seth added.
"I still don't know......." Neil hated the argument, he did love Summer.
"Mr. Roberts, I promise you we will watch her and make sure she's okay. We will help her any way we can. Just please, do not take her away." Seth pleaded. Neil thought about it, finally making up his mind.
"All right." He agreed. Summer heard everything, she pretended to be sleeping, but now she couldn't.
"You're letting me stay?" Summer shot up, scaring everyone. Marissa jumped and shrieked. Summer stared at her dad, hoping to hear the answer again. Neil nodded, and Summer went over to him and hugged him.
"One thing: I don't wanna hear about anything drastic happening. If nothing happens after two weeks, and you seem to be okay, you don't have to see a therapist." Neil didn't believe his daughter needed to see a shrink, he just believed she needed someone to really love her. Seth.
"Okay." Summer nodded.
"I'll leave you kids alone." Neil left the four alone, and they stood and sat there for a moment in silence.
"So when am I getting out?" Summer broke it, she now feared the silence. In the silence she did things she didn't want to do.
"Hopefully in a few days." Marissa answered, happy that Summer was okay, and not going to a mental facility.
"So, I guess I'm going to back to school when it starts." Summer had missed a whole month of it, she wouldn't know what was happening.
"Summer, I've missed more school than you have. We're both gonna be screwed." Seth joked with her.
"Two things there. One: We missed the same amount of time. And two: You're smarter than me." Summer complained.
"Sum, all the teachers are either really fast or really slow. I'm confused in most of my classes. We'll all just have to study together." Marissa assured Summer.
"Thanks." Summer didn't think studying would be the only problem she would have. Seth would most likely have it too. But people would stare, no doubt. Seth might be able to dodge some of them, not many people knew him. Summer used to be majorly popular, and she had been gone since school restarted. Plus, she was pencil thin, Summer could barely recognize herself.
"Well, we're all alive. And awake." Marissa said to them, finally realizing it. Seth was awake, Summer was fine, and both Ryan and Marissa had been okay.
"Very true." Seth agreed.
"Ryan, are you okay?" Summer asked him, noticing he hadn't said a word since the argument with Summer's dad.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Ryan said non-commitedly, he was obviously zoned out.
"Okay." Summer didn't push any farther. "Wait, I know Seth probably learned everything that happened, but I didn't. So what did I miss?" Summer looked up at the,, with the glow of a little child, waiting for an answer. This time, they didn't have to hide anything or anyone.
"Oh, well, there was a fight." Seth told her, pushing Summer over on the bed so he could sit with her.
"Really?" Summer questioned.
"Between my aunt and ...........my grandmother." Seth shuddered. "Oh God, is she still my grandmother?" He asked Ryan and Marissa.
"Unfortunately." Ryan commented.
"Yeah, well, there's always a possibility she won't be you grandmother. She's my mom. I'm stuck with her." Marissa complained.
"Ah, you beat me there." Seth told her. "Yes, but I have my mom." He pointed out.
"Kirsten's not bad." Ryan argued.
"Most of the time. But you've never seen her after running away for two weeks without any phone call or notice whatsoever." Seth said.
"Yeah, I haven't seen that." Ryan laughed and they all smiled. It was the first time they had done that in a long time.
"I didn't think I would make it out alive." Seth added, but it pertained to two things. Both times when he left. "Oh yes, Summer. While you slept and before we all took on your dad, and won, might I add, I went to your house and found a little something in your...uh, if you can call it a room." Seth told her. Then he produced a plastic horse.
"Princess Sparkles!" Summer squealed and grabbed the horse from Seth's hands. That horse helped her through so much. "Where did you find it?" Summer had ruined her room so badly, she couldn't see how Seth found anything.
"Well, I went in and looked for it, I believe ir was under a yearbook." Seth answered.
"Thanks." She said, having said that a lot today. They all stopped talking, just thinking. They had survived.
"Okay, I'm sick of the silence. What are we gonna talk about?" Marissa asked after about a minute, knowing exactly what was on their minds.
"Can you believe this all happened in less than two months?" Summer wondered.
"Who would've thought." Seth commented.
"Hopefully we can just take it easy." Marissa added.
"I doubt it. Something scary will happen. or someone will leave. They always do." Seth thought about when he left half a year ago. Who would've thought it would turn out like this?
"Or someone will come into our lives." Marissa looked over to Ryan. He had changed the world they knew, Marissa knew it was for the better.
"Well, I doubt it'll beat what we've been through." Summer said.
"Hmm....that would be everything?" Marissa joked.
"Well, we haven't been in a flood." Ryan found something they hadn't dealt with. He felt happy with them, much happier than with Theresa. This was where he belonged.
"One thing. Maybe that's what we'll deal with next." Summer laughed.
"Who will survive?" Seth attempted a scary serious tone.
"Hopefully not my mother." Marissa, of course, still hated Julie.
"Some things never change." Ryan commented. They laughed, life had finally looked up.
"You know what I noticed? All of us, either have a plastic horse, or a care bear. Except Ryan." Marissa brought it up.
"That's true. So, Ryan where are you hiding it?" Seth teased.
"Hiding what?" Ryan didn't have a bear, nor a plastic horse. He really didn't want one.
"Your plastic horse. Or care bear. Whichever you desire." Seth told him.
"I don't have one." Ryan never had one, a horse or a bear, he had always been too old or too big for one.
"He doesn't seem like the plastic horse kind of guy." Summer added.
"Yes, he's a care bear kind of guy. But which one?" Seth enjoyed annoying Ryan.
"Guys....." Ryan warned.
"How about.......Brooding Bear?" Marissa thought of it.
"There isn't a Brooding Bear......" Summer was confused.
"Right. We make one. Get a bear, and like, change the icon on the stomach." Marissa explained.
"I like it. Brooding Bear. Very Ryan-ish." Seth joked. "So, Ryan, what's your favorite color?"
"I don't have a favorite color....." Ryan objected slowly.
"You don't have a favorite color? Chino, you have to have a favorite color." Summer had adjusted to the hospital, she started using nicknames.
"Why are we talking about an imaginary bear for me?" Ryan ended it, getting really confused with the topic.
"Because it's fun." Marissa answered.
"Because it takes our minds off the bad things." SUmmer added.
"Because it annoys the hell out of you." Seth made them all laugh. "Yes, Summer, I was thinking, if you're gonna be here for a couple days, meaning I'll be visiting, wow, I can't get away from this place. I just keep coming back...." Seth rambled.
"Seth....you're rambling." Summer pointed out to him.
"Right. Sorry. Anyways, I was thinking we could hook up the Playstation."
"Cohen, I don't play." Summer told him.
"I haven't taught you the art of video games? Well, you will learn, I'll see that you do." Seth smiled at her. She smiled at him again.
"C'mon, Sum, I even know how to play video games." Marissa added.
"Guys, are we ever gonna be okay?" Summer asked, after about two minutes of all of them being lost in the silence.
"Probably not," Seth paused, "But we'll make it through."
Oh my gosh, I'M DONE! It's a freaking miracle! Well, I should start on the sequel to this, or maybe I won't.... maybe this will keep going, all depends if I want to start a new story. But here are some little shout outs to people who helped me through this:
To adamismine69 and bennshott: You two helped me write this! You were the constant two telling me to write this story. And I use some ideas of yours, one of which I took from radam in this chapter...
To SethCohenFan, Rockin' whatever, and I don't know what your sn is now, but to Kim: Ah! I'm done! Wtf?
To OCGuy05(from the OC boards): Brooding Bear is an idea I had after a conversation with him. So he gets some props for that.
To all the people on the OC boards I didn't name: Yeah, your ideas helped me out, and I would've never got this done without you.
AND TO ALL THE READERS!!!: Wow, what can I say, you definitely made me finish the story...or is it finished? Hmm...I'll have to think about that one. This is for you guys, I would've never wrote this if I had no one liking it!
Oh, and one thing: Hey, if you do the pray thing, pray for my friend who is dealing with lyme disease, Lynsey! She needs it! So, she deserves Adam Brody for at least a week or two...sorry girls...
Ali