A/N: 'allo ya'll. 'Ow are ye this fine day? Okay, cameos are still open and
mailing list is still open. Votes are still three for pairing, zero against
pairing. This is a pairing until further notice. Yay! I just got some new
pants at Hot Topic. I'm happy now. Sorry about the wait. I was sick with
the flu thingy, and then it was Christmas, so I really couldn't do
anything. And then, I was depressed, so... Yes, I know, I suck. Sorry.
Anyway....
Civeta: It been three days out and Sylver ^slept^ with Jack twice. She was sleeping in his bed once, but when he woke up on top of her, that was the second day out and she hadn't been paid, so it was an accident. On the first day out, he paid her, so it happened then. Remember, she is a whore. On the second day, he didn't pay her, so he didn't get any. On the third day, he paid her two gold coins, which was a lot back then, for some more. That clear things up? Oh yes.... **cowers** please forgive me.... I needed a stowaway.
Now, everyone, see if you can spot the cameo. If you do, I'll give you a cyber cookie with little cyber gold coins on them. (You gotta review though.)
I just realized something.... I have no idea what to write. Am I allowed to cuss? Yes? All right then.... DAMNIT!!! Thank you for putting up with me. Oh yes, I now accept anonymous reviews. Sorry 'bout that. People are thanked for reviews and encouraged to review more.
Who the hell are you, and why are you on my bloody ship?
I was in the galley, figuring out what to bring up to the kitchen to cook when I spotted something odd.
"JACK SPARROW, YE GET YER PANSY ASS DOWN 'ERE NOW!!" I yelled. See, this person had jumped out from behind a box and was threatening me with a knife. Jack ran down the stairs.
**POV switch to Jack**
I ran down the stairs after hearing that bloody whore shout. I stopped short and asked,
"Who the 'ell are ye, an' why are ye on me bloody ship?" to a short, blonde haired, blue eyed person who was threatening Maria with a knife. Maria had a long cut on her throat and the short person was holding the knife to her throat.
"Me name be Civeta. Me purpose be te get meself out o' Tortuga. 'Ey, whore, are ye on the ship fer a steady income?"
"Well, Civeta, I be on this 'ere ship b'cause I o'er'eard this 'ere Captain talkin' te 'is friend 'bout goin' after the Black Pearl. Apparently, 'e didn't want me talkin' about this all over Tortuga, so 'e took me along with 'im. I'm the cook."
"LAND HO!" came a shout from above
"It's a land ho? I though' they all worked on land," I quipped. Ja- Sparrow looked at me. "Well, mos' of 'em anyways," I added somewhat sheepishly.
"Shut up. Yer goin' after the Black Pearl?" asked the small blonde annoyance.
"Yes, we be goin' after the Black Pearl. Ye got yerself a problem with that? Then again, I'm not s'pposed te talk. Sorry 'bout that."
"You will let me off on the nearest island with enough food and water for a month. Then, on your way back, you will pick me up. That is, if you come back. You will also leave me with a pistol that has ten shots with enough powder for those ten shots. If not, I kill the whore."
"Alrigh' then Jack, get it over with. Kill me. I'm as good as dead righ' now. Just say no. I know ye 'ate me, an' 'onessly, I don't really care righ' now."
"No," he whispered. "Civeta, mate, I'll make 'ee a deal. You let go of me mate Maria, an' I set ye off o' me ship with some food an' a pistol."
"Done. But, I keep yer mate Maria 'til I get the food, an' the pistol with the powder." Sparrow led Civeta on deck and told the midget, whose name I never caught, to get a pistol, powder, food and water. Civeta took them all and didn't notice that there was no shot.
When they let her off, she was smiling. She waved merrily at the ship for about a minute. Then, she looked through the things that the midget got from the hold. Then, she started yelling.
"YOU BASTARDS!! YOU LEFT ME HERE WITH NO SHOT!! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT!" Jack looked over at her with a mildly surprised expression on his face. Then, he hollered back,
"You didn't ask for it."
And now, I give you, a humorous mini-story: The Jaywalkings of Captain Sparrow
It was a fine, sunny day and the citizens of Singapore were going about their business as usual, unaware of the horror that they would soon face. Then, among all those respectable citizens dressed in their Sunday finest, there came a horribly disreputable character. Jack Sparrow, walking down the street of a swank neighborhood, looking like he was comfortable there. People stared at him and he grinned. Then, he, Jack Sparrow, preceded to jaywalk. The street was suddenly silent. Gasps began echoing around the silent street. Then came the
"What is he doing?"
"He's really-"
"Horrible!" A woman passed out. Then came a shriek. It reverberated in the near silent air. It was drawn out and earsplitting. It was a hideous sound. Jack Sparrow, serial jaywalker, grinned at everyone, turned and ran down the street. They all stared at him as he fled the scene of his awful crime. The shriek ended and the street was silent. Then, someone had the presence of mind to call in the law enforcement.
A/N: If you want me to continue the little mini-series at the end of chapters, tell me and I'll think up some more funny stuff. Cyber-rum to all reviewers. Automatically, so I don't have to bother typing it out next chapter.
Civeta: It been three days out and Sylver ^slept^ with Jack twice. She was sleeping in his bed once, but when he woke up on top of her, that was the second day out and she hadn't been paid, so it was an accident. On the first day out, he paid her, so it happened then. Remember, she is a whore. On the second day, he didn't pay her, so he didn't get any. On the third day, he paid her two gold coins, which was a lot back then, for some more. That clear things up? Oh yes.... **cowers** please forgive me.... I needed a stowaway.
Now, everyone, see if you can spot the cameo. If you do, I'll give you a cyber cookie with little cyber gold coins on them. (You gotta review though.)
I just realized something.... I have no idea what to write. Am I allowed to cuss? Yes? All right then.... DAMNIT!!! Thank you for putting up with me. Oh yes, I now accept anonymous reviews. Sorry 'bout that. People are thanked for reviews and encouraged to review more.
Who the hell are you, and why are you on my bloody ship?
I was in the galley, figuring out what to bring up to the kitchen to cook when I spotted something odd.
"JACK SPARROW, YE GET YER PANSY ASS DOWN 'ERE NOW!!" I yelled. See, this person had jumped out from behind a box and was threatening me with a knife. Jack ran down the stairs.
**POV switch to Jack**
I ran down the stairs after hearing that bloody whore shout. I stopped short and asked,
"Who the 'ell are ye, an' why are ye on me bloody ship?" to a short, blonde haired, blue eyed person who was threatening Maria with a knife. Maria had a long cut on her throat and the short person was holding the knife to her throat.
"Me name be Civeta. Me purpose be te get meself out o' Tortuga. 'Ey, whore, are ye on the ship fer a steady income?"
"Well, Civeta, I be on this 'ere ship b'cause I o'er'eard this 'ere Captain talkin' te 'is friend 'bout goin' after the Black Pearl. Apparently, 'e didn't want me talkin' about this all over Tortuga, so 'e took me along with 'im. I'm the cook."
"LAND HO!" came a shout from above
"It's a land ho? I though' they all worked on land," I quipped. Ja- Sparrow looked at me. "Well, mos' of 'em anyways," I added somewhat sheepishly.
"Shut up. Yer goin' after the Black Pearl?" asked the small blonde annoyance.
"Yes, we be goin' after the Black Pearl. Ye got yerself a problem with that? Then again, I'm not s'pposed te talk. Sorry 'bout that."
"You will let me off on the nearest island with enough food and water for a month. Then, on your way back, you will pick me up. That is, if you come back. You will also leave me with a pistol that has ten shots with enough powder for those ten shots. If not, I kill the whore."
"Alrigh' then Jack, get it over with. Kill me. I'm as good as dead righ' now. Just say no. I know ye 'ate me, an' 'onessly, I don't really care righ' now."
"No," he whispered. "Civeta, mate, I'll make 'ee a deal. You let go of me mate Maria, an' I set ye off o' me ship with some food an' a pistol."
"Done. But, I keep yer mate Maria 'til I get the food, an' the pistol with the powder." Sparrow led Civeta on deck and told the midget, whose name I never caught, to get a pistol, powder, food and water. Civeta took them all and didn't notice that there was no shot.
When they let her off, she was smiling. She waved merrily at the ship for about a minute. Then, she looked through the things that the midget got from the hold. Then, she started yelling.
"YOU BASTARDS!! YOU LEFT ME HERE WITH NO SHOT!! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT!" Jack looked over at her with a mildly surprised expression on his face. Then, he hollered back,
"You didn't ask for it."
And now, I give you, a humorous mini-story: The Jaywalkings of Captain Sparrow
It was a fine, sunny day and the citizens of Singapore were going about their business as usual, unaware of the horror that they would soon face. Then, among all those respectable citizens dressed in their Sunday finest, there came a horribly disreputable character. Jack Sparrow, walking down the street of a swank neighborhood, looking like he was comfortable there. People stared at him and he grinned. Then, he, Jack Sparrow, preceded to jaywalk. The street was suddenly silent. Gasps began echoing around the silent street. Then came the
"What is he doing?"
"He's really-"
"Horrible!" A woman passed out. Then came a shriek. It reverberated in the near silent air. It was drawn out and earsplitting. It was a hideous sound. Jack Sparrow, serial jaywalker, grinned at everyone, turned and ran down the street. They all stared at him as he fled the scene of his awful crime. The shriek ended and the street was silent. Then, someone had the presence of mind to call in the law enforcement.
A/N: If you want me to continue the little mini-series at the end of chapters, tell me and I'll think up some more funny stuff. Cyber-rum to all reviewers. Automatically, so I don't have to bother typing it out next chapter.