IV Songs
a songfic by: Ninetails
Part 2: I Still BelieveI paced back and forth in the confines of my room. 'What to wear? I never had this trouble before I love-loved-net that demon. Maybe this?' I asked myself, holding up a green kimono with a blue and white-striped belt. 'Oh well, might as well wear a trash bin, no one would notice if I'm pretty or not, unless... Hiei might decide to come to the Festival. K'so, why does all my decisions have to concern with that bratty youkai?!' I thought, hurrying to don the kimono and brushing up my hair. 'There, maybe I look presentable enough. Might as well go and enjoy what happiness I still have.' I thought luridly. I went downstairs and kissed kaasan goodbye. She cautioned me to go home before my curfew and I muttered some non-committal sounds that she took for confirmation. I then walked to Urameshi Yuusuke's house and waited for him to scramble into his clothes. As we were walking towards the park, a harsh, comical voice called to us, "Oi, Yuusuke, Kurama, wait for me!" as we turned we saw Kazuma Kuwabara striding towards us. "Hi, Kuwa, where's the girls?" Yuusuke asked him. "Oh, you know them, they're probably there already. You know that they are always on time... most of the time," he answered. "Hey, Kurama, you seem awful quiet tonight, what's wrong?" Kazuma asked me, putting a heavy arm around my shoulders. "Oh, it's nothing. I'm just thinking of that big Quiz Bee held in our school tomorrow, I'm just worried if I world win, that's all," I answered cheerily. "Hontou?" Kuwabara eyed me suspiciously. Yuusuke came to my rescue, knuckled Kuwa ("Itai! That hurts! What was that for?" Kuwabara said, glaring darkly at Yuusuke.), and said, "Oi, Kazuma, you know Shuuichi, always thinking about school, when he's not thinking about..." "Look, there are the girls," I interjected before he could say HIS name. Suppressing a sigh of thanks and... disappointment, I saw that the Jaganshi wasn't anywhere near. In fact, he was not anywhere at all. I pasted a big smile to my face and joined in on the fun of the gang. Everyone was there, except for Hiei; of course there's Yuusuke and Kuwabara, Shizuru, Keiko, Yukina, Botan, even Koenma-sama, and surprisingly, Genkai-baasan. I once heard her say that Festivals and parties were for younger folk and I pointed out to her that, technically, I am a few centuries older than she was, being a youko, and I still go to parties. We passed by some people who sell balloons, fireworks and flowers. Yuusuke stopped by a flower stall and bought Keiko a bunch. I saw Kuwabara give a cute flower-balloon to Yukina. Then smiled when Koenma offered a half-eaten cotton candy to Botan. Feeling like it, I bought a cute rabbit mask in one of the stalls. To my embarrassment, the girls, specifically Shizuru and Botan, put the mask on my face and gushed-out embarrassing descriptions of how kawaii I was. Heaving a groan, I pushed the mask out of my face until it was at the right side of my head. "Hey everyone, look here!" Keiko suddenly shouted and when I turned to her, I saw that she was holding up a camera. I saw Yuusuke holding a pink, fluffy cotton candy and Kuwa was at our backs, holding up some fireworks. Then... I almost fainted. Standing to my right side was...Hiei! Then Yuusuke pushed the sweet cotton candy on Hiei's face and he uttered a surprised squawk. I couldn't help but smile as I saw the youkai's expression. Botan peered at him from my side and a light flashed. I blinked a couple of times and realized that it was Keiko's camera going off that produced the flash. Suddenly a wild urge to be a thousand miles away from the park hit me. I turned to go and a soft, small hand grasped at my arm. "Kurama, where are you going?" a gentle voice asked me and I turned to Hiei's twin sister. "I'll just buy us some drinks, Yukina-chan," I smiled at her. "Oh, then let Hiei-san accompany you to help you carry the drinks," she smiled innocently. "NO (I almost shouted), I can manage, really," I tried to protest but the gang pushed Hiei and I towards each other.
You looked in my eyes, and I get emotional inside
My gaze met Hiei's ruby ones and for what seemed an eternity, I was swallowed into those dark-red depths. I gave a start. 'I mustn't react again, gods I mustn't! I won't love him again, ever. You crazy youko, why do you have to feel this way again?' and when I gazed around, expectant faces met my eyes. All of them wore amused and sly grins, except for Yukina, whose grin was just understanding. I coughed slightly and turned away from those teasing smiles, "Well, then. I guess we will get the drinks now," I sighed, going to one of the stalls where drinks were sold.
I know it's crazy but you still can touch my heart
And after all this time, you think that I, I wouldn't feel the same
But time melts into nothing, nothing's change.
I felt Hiei's presence just behind my back. I reveled at the feel of his ki, so mysterious and dark. My hand trembled as I passed him the sake and I almost dropped the bottles in my haste to pull my hand away from his. He, naturally, just turned to go, acting cold and impassive, as if nothing happened. I hurriedly passed out the drinks and watched the fireworks. A slow smile crept on my face. 'So beautiful, so peaceful... so loud,' I finished with a little giggle. "Watcha laughin' at, Kurama? Care to share the joke?" Botan asked with a mischievous smile. I quickly ran my eyes around the group and a blush crept at my cheek as I saw that they were all looking at me, but my cheeks really heated up as my gaze swept to Hiei. "Oh, um, nothing, I just remembered one of my friends, that's all," I laughed lamely, noting that they were all looking at me suspiciously. I noticed Hiei's gaze as I mentioned my friend. The ruby eyes seeming to fill up with jealousy, but... the look was there for only an instant then his gaze quickly became stone again that I asked myself if I really saw it I went back to my study of the fireworks and became oblivious to the time. 'Hmm, something's fishy here,' I noted as I quickly scanned the group. The 'couples' loitered away ; Yuusuke and Keiko, Kuwabara and Yukina, and Koenma and Botan...! I looked at Genkai and Shizuru, pleading to them with my eyes not to go away. They smiled evilly and Genkai stopped for a chat with some friends of hers while Shizuru went in search for more sake. I fumed, standing there all alone with Hiei. 'How could they do this to me?! Some friends they prove to be!' I turned slowly towards the demon, gluing a big smile on my face. "So, Hiei. I haven't seen you around Ningenkai for some months now. How are you?" I said, feeling idiotic. 'What's you're name? Where do you live? Baka! This is Hiei you're talking to! He's you're best friend, not some stranger you met just a minute ago,' I blushed, and was relieved to not find his gaze on mine. He was looking at the display of fireworks, a look of awe in his beautiful face. 'He's so gorgeous and beautiful and cute and...' abruptly, he saw me staring at him and I turned away, my face heating up. "Wanna go around? There are many great things here that they're selling! Come on," I said enthusiastically, holding out my hand to him in a friendly gesture. The truth was, I longed to hold him close again, to feel his callused fingers on mine. "Hn," he looked at my hand as if it was a dangerous and strange animal. Sighing and dropping my hand, I headed for the direction of the stalls. I chattered away, idly talking about how great the night is, how beautiful the fireworks are, anything to fill up the growing silence between us. Suddenly, a particular stall caught my eye. "Hey, look! A kissing booth!" I said excitedly, spotting some cute girls behind the bright-pink stall. "Hey, wanna try it? I'll pay for you if you want," I told him excitedly, a plan unfolding in my head. "What are they for?" he asked, gesturing to the girls. "They're for kissing, duh! Come on! I'll try the girl on the right, you try the girl in the pink kimono" I said trying to drag him towards the booth. "Hn, I think the idea is stupid," eyeing the girls with disgust and... envy? Half-dragged, half-coaxed, I persuaded the fire demon to try the kissing booth. The girls all exclaimed at my companion. "Ooh, he's so cute!" and some, "Oh, what a cute, little, adorable boy you are!" and even some, "Hey girls, look at my little boyfriend!" a girl said, crushing Hiei to her chest. I laughed at the expression on his face; furious but helpless. Then I carried-out my idea. Stepping beside the girls who were trying to kiss the protesting fire demon, I smiled seductively. "Come on, Hiei. Take your pick," I said, gesturing to the girls then to myself. He snorted and I caught a faint "Baka, Kurama." I tried not to giggle hysterically. Suddenly, a brash, drunk man came to the booth and said, "Hey, pretty lady! How 'bout giv'n me a li'l kiss, eh? I'll pay you a thous'nd yen, even twenty, just to give me a li'l kiss on the lips." Then without warning, he cupped a feel at my bottom. An undignified squawk escaped my mouth and I slapped him; hard. Suddenly, Hiei was between the impudent man and me, holding his katana under the intruder's neck. "Don't you dare touch Kurama again, or else..." he put more pressure on the blade and the man gave a squeak of pain. "Hiei," I said, trying to bring down his sword hand. "Hold your temper, there are others watching," I said in a whisper, giving him a stern look. The stranger gave Hiei a final scared glance before swaying drunkenly away. "Hn, if you want some baka to hold your body without your permission, then I won't stop you!" he said with an imperceptible look in his eyes. If I didn't know better, I'd say that it was possessiveness in his eyes. Turning back to the girls, I laughed playfully and put my arms around Hiei. "Oh, look at the little kid. He's so brave, to threaten that bad man with his toy sword. Isn't he a darling?" I finished mussing up his spiky hair. They started fawning all over him again and he gave me such a ferocious glare that I threw up my hands and dragged him out of the circle the girls made around him. "There, for saving me from that horrible man, I saved you from your adoring fans! Now we're even," I said with a smile. He just gave another snort and a look of death and started walking away. To catch up with him, I had to run. He seemed to disappear within the night, his coloring blending well with the shadows and the shifting shapes caused by the lights, even if he wasn't wearing his usual black attire; he had on a dark blue kimono with green stripes, looking so adorable. I walked around the park, appreciating the well-lit streets, lit by colorful red lanterns. I spotted a flower-stand and scrutinized the flowers in display. 'Hmm, they're not as beautiful as my roses but they'll have to do. Maybe the carnations could use more nutrients and... heck, I'm here to find Hiei, not gaggle over flowers.' I finally spotted him at the farthest end of the park, sitting on a large boulder. "May I sit?" I asked him and he gave a small "Hn" as a reply. We sat there in silence, watching the fireworks display up above. Suddenly, the sky became filled with red and green fires, the two seeming to intermingle for a moment before fading away into the night. I gave a gasp as I saw what that meant. Red, green... eyes. Hiei's and mine. Suddenly, I couldn't bear this wall between us any longer. I gently touched the hand nearest me and when he looked up, I caught my breath. 'You're so beautiful, Itooshii,' I mused. I realized that I was staring at him and grinning like a fool. He looked at me for a moment then roughly snatched his hand away from mine. 'Damn stupid youko impulses!' I cursed, closing my eyes and giving myself a mental shake. When I looked back at my side, Hiei had disappeared into the night. I still feel his ki somewhere, but not anywhere near. "Hiei," I shouted into the darkness. "Doumo, Hiei."
Each day of my life; I'm filled with all the joy I could find
You know that I am not the desperate type
Groaning softly, I went in search of the others for company. Trudging wearily, I passed some more brightly-lit stalls. I bought myself a balloon, bright green in color with stripes of rainbow colors swirling around it to make me feel cheerful. A handsome young man who thrust a large bouquet of roses accosted me and asked for my number. I smiled a little, seeing the joke in the situation. He then went away and waved back at me. I smiled sweetly back at him and he almost tripped over his own feet. That earned an outright laugh, but then it died when a deep grunt sounded below me. "So now you're hitting on younger innocent, helpless ningens now, huh? That desperate to find a lover?" Hiei said dryly. I turned toward him with a small frown. "Shut up, you know I'm not THAT desperate... yet. Do I hear a note of jealousy in your voice, Hiei?" I cooed sweetly at him. Before he could make another sarcastic reply, a loud "Hey, shrimp" distracted him and he turned towards Kuwabara with a deadly expression. "Sorry to bother you two lovebirds," Yuusuke said with a snicker. "Hey you overgrown barrel of pus, still alive?" Hiei shot back at Kuwa. At the background, Yuusuke was egging them on. Before the situation could get uglier, I stepped between them and held up both hands. "Stop it, you two! You sound like two barn cats trapped in a small sack, slashing at each other. Why don't you act like civilized err ningen... and youkai. The girls are watching, and they aren't very happy," and true enough, Keiko came barreling down on Yuusuke, the poor man cringing down like a stepped on puppy. Botan was giving dagger-looks to Kazuma but he was more abashed with the gentle lecturing of his Yukina. Hiei gave me a scowl that I answered with a smile. Snorting, he turned his back on me. Suddenly, Botan, Keiko and Shizuru cornered me. They backed me up on a clearing and bombarded me with questions about my time with Hiei. I tried to escape them but to no avail, they encircled me like a bird in a cage. They even asked me who the bouquet of flowers was from and when I said it was from a friend, they eyed me suspiciously, of course. After tittering their heads off, they let me go. Then as sudden as they appeared, they were gone, leaving Hiei and I alone once again.
If there's one spark of hope left in my grasp, I'll hold it with both hands
It's worth the risk of burning to have a second chance
I stood there, stupefied. Feeling betrayed of my friends for abandoning me again. I started walking to a shady part of the park, feeling Hiei following me. I thought they knew my predicament with this youkai. I thought they knew how I feel, unless I put up a great façade over my true feelings. 'Yeah, that was it. I'm too good at hiding my feelings, but it still causes me pain. Why can't anything in life be simple and not all intricate and complex?' I put both my hands on his face, giving him a stern look. "Hiei, if you don't want the company of your best friend, you could always tell me to scram, not go off running to Inari knows where. Now why don't you enjoy the festival?" I said, beckoning to him to join me. He folded his arms about himself and gave me an indignant glare. Feeling downcast, I presented a single rose to Hiei, drawing it out of my hair and giving it to him with a little flourish. He eyed it warily and I said, "Don't worry, it doesn't bite," letting the fragrant petals run on my skin. "What am I supposed to do with that?" he said oh so sarcastically. "This," I said, putting the rose's stem behind his ear. "Oh, you look so kawaii!" I gushed at him. He snatched the petal from his ear and smoke seemed to rise from his arms when... he looked at me and held back, then he put the rose back on behind his ear.
No, I need you baby. I still believe that we can be together
No, If we believe that true love never has to end,
Then we must know that we will love again
Feeling sure about myself now, I tucked the rose gently, adjusting it needlessly, just for the sake of being near him. 'Hmm, maybe... no, I won't hope it. But, he isn't shunning me away and he's acting almost like he did before. Maybe...' I thought, looking at the stunned look in his eyes, 'we still have a chance,' I pondered silently, gazing mesmerized at his face. There was another expression in his beautiful face. The light in his eyes suggested something, but I dare not do anything about it lest he would slip away from me if I did. His face was full of pain and sorrow. I touched his soft cheek, casually running it up to his pointed hair, then back down. When I reached his abdomen, I felt the muscles go rigid at my touch. Smiling a little, I studied his reaction to my caresses. 'Maybe we really could relive our relationship again,' I thought joyfully. I slowly put my arms around him. Slowly so he would have plenty of time to back away. When my arms were completely around him, I breathed the scent of him. His scent was s intoxicating, that clean smell that was purely Hiei. I cradled his head gently to my chest feeling him snuggle a little into my body. I ran my hands languidly up and down his body, hearing him groan and sigh, arching to my touch. Then finally, I couldn't resist any longer. I was eager for his lips to touch mine. I cupped his chin in my hands and brought his lips up to mine.
I still believe, someday you and me, will find ourselves in love again
I had a dream, someday you and me, will find ourselves in love again...
Our kiss was slow and sexy, full of heat and passion. Full of desperation, pain, and... hope. Finally breaking it up for air, I looked into his eyes. They were as glazed as maybe mine was, still full of the desire of our kiss. Then suddenly, he jerked away, his eyes going wider and wider as he stared at me. "Hiei, please, give this a chance. Please, I beg you," I pleaded, going to him and trying to put him back into my arms. He stood away, coldly eyeing me now. "We can't. Mukuro and I are getting bonded," and he waited for my reaction. My eyes seemed to fill my face. I wanted to scream, to shout at the absurdity of it all, but my throat seized up, suppressing my urge. After what seemed an eternity, I went back to looking at his face. I didn't realize that I was reaching for him. My hand was slowly rising up to his face. I touched his cheek, running my thumb up and down, wanting to do more. "Well, then. I congratulate you and Mukuro, Hiei." And softly, I whispered, "Mashiara." I dropped my hand. There was no reaction coming from him, only a blink and a widening of the eyes. He seemed to recognize the word, but I thought it impossible. He backed away, looking at me, no expression on his face. Then he blended into the shadows and was gone.
I was back in my room, feeling the events after Hiei's parting pass away like a haze. I was crying... again. I was never this weak when I was a youko. I still am, but... it's sometimes hard to believe I AM. Youkos were a hard race, we are considered as some of the most beautiful and unfaithful lovers in the whole of Makai. Hiei was the one who was supposed to be crying, not me. Feeling weaker than all of my fights put together, I settled into my sheets. 'I thought there was a chance. It was all a fool fantasy I made.' Hiei. I'll never fall in love with you again. Mashiara. The present seemed to fade and the past seemed to focus right before my eyes. I heard the term when I was still a kit. I was hiding in the woods near our home, Megumi-okaasan was hunting and I had nothing else to do so I wandered around. Then I saw a blue youko with a silver youko, the blue desperately holding the silver. They were murmuring something, but the blue sounded pleading and the silver was reasoning. Curious, I stepped closer to the two. They seemed to be fighting now, the blue was shouting something about infidelity and the silver was just silent. Then the latter said something and the blue stopped, choking his next words. Then the silver youko backed away and started to leave. I heard the blue youko shout a word to the departing figure... Mashiara. All I knew was that I never saw that blue youko again. There were rumors that he committed suicide. Then the present came into view again. It was only centuries after that I found out the meaning of that term. Hiei... Mashiara. My lost love.
Author's Notes and Disclaimer: Okay, another Mariah Carey song. I was so infatuated with her Butterfly cd at that time so.... Anyways, pardon again for the, um, shall we say, unintended errors in grammar and total patheticity (if there is such a word.... There isn't, ne? ) of my work. Oh yeah, the term Mashiara is owned by Robert Jordan, the esteemed author of the Wheel of Time series. I can't wait for book 10! And I just noticed that I made Kurama-sama, well, a crybaby in this series. GOMEN NASAI MINNA!!!!!!!!!