Nights in White Satin
Chapter Three: Murdering of a Blood Tie
Written by: Sleepwalking Chicken
Written: July 27, 2004

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"He still hasn't come down," Kagome said sadly as she gazed out past the village where the God Tree towered above the other foliage. She was sitting on the porch outside of Kaede's hut with Sango, explaining the dilemma they were currently facing. Kagome stared down at the tea she was drinking with one of her best friends. "And I don't know what to do…" she whispered softly.

Sango nodded sympathetically and looked over at where Kagome was looking, her maroon eyes focusing on the god tree as well. "There's nothing we really can do for him, though…"

"I know. I just wish he'd let me help him, let me in…" Kagome sighed and shook her head. "He's been so quiet and reserved lately; I'm really worried about him."

"He has undergone a drastic change, Kagome," Sango said lightly and gently touched her friend's shoulder. "The best you can do is to continue what you're doing. Reassuring him. He doesn't listen to me or Miroku, but he certainly listens to you." Sango smiled and laughed quietly. "He just needs a friend right now."

"Yeah…I know…" Kagome sighed.

"Kagome…" The said girl looked up at her friend and their gazes met. "Only Inu yasha can overcome this."

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Inu yasha watched the sun sink into the west with a heavy heart. The sky was alit with flames of red and oranges as the sun's rays sunk down under the horizon, disappearing until daylight. Inu yasha glanced at the moon, already visible now that the sun was sinking. Soon, its uncanny light would cast shadows upon the earth like it did every night.

His golden eyes reflected the sun's dying fire and he let out a small sigh. He still remained stationary in the God Tree, his motivation to do anything dimming to a complete halt now that Kagome was the only one who visited him. Truth be told, she was the only one he'd talk to. His golden gaze strayed from the sun as it sunk into the mountains and instead stared at the now darkening sky, where thousands of stars were beginning to sparkle.

'They're so much clearer now,' he mused, 'I don't think I'll ever get used to this.' That thought soon brought about the familiar depression he'd dug himself into for the past week now.

That is until the delicate and beautiful scent of Kagome hit his senses full force, making him snap out of his brooding thoughts and instead focus on the girl who was currently walking towards the tree, in the dark.

'Ignorant woman, doesn't she know what lives in this fucking forest?' Inu yasha thought to himself as he strained his ears for any sound that might be a potential danger to Kagome. Hearing none, he awaited Kagome's arrival.

"I'm not hungry," he called as soon as he knew she was within hearing distance. The girl paused in her steps before trudging forward once again.

"I don't care, you're eating," she said crossly as she marched up to him. She stared up at where she guessed Inu yasha was and narrowed her eyes. "I know you haven't been eating, don't you care?"

"No." He snarled, "If I did, I would obviously be eating, you stupid bitch."

Kagome was silent and the hidden fire in her eyes extinguished to a little flame as she lightly bowed her head, staring at the food she had brought for the hanyou. "Look, Inu yasha," she said calmly. "I guess I will never understand what you're going through," she began carefully, "but, please, don't do this to yourself." Her grip tightened on the tray the food was placed on. "I really don't want you to hurt yourself like you are, I'm really worried about you…you're my friend, and I hope you think I'm you're friend. I just don't want something bad to happen to you…"

Inu yasha said nothing, simply staring at the darkening horizon.

"I guess you don't want to talk," Kagome said meekly and set down the tray at the base of the God tree. She looked up into the darkened limbs of the Goshinboku. "Please eat, Inu yasha."

She turned and began walking away, leaving Inu yasha in his tree, pouting. After a few moments he jumped down and stared at the food. "Kagome wait," he called. Kagome paused in her descent down the hill leading towards the village and turned to look at him. "I'll eat," he grumbled.

"What? I didn't hear you," Kagome said with a raised eyebrow. She cautiously walked back towards him, her hands behind her back and her head tilted.

Inu yasha scowled, knowing that she was just trying to help, but still feeling annoyed. "I'll eat the fucking food if it will make you feel better," he grumbled.

Kagome smiled and nodded, "Ok then. Eat."

Grumbling, Inu yasha ate the food that Kagome gave him.

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"Why don't you come back to the village with me?" Kagome asked after he was done eating. Inu yasha paused and stared at his outstretched feet, the tanned skin dirtied by dirt and mud.

"No," he said, and his eyes saddened. If he still had his dog ears, they would have drooped.

"Inu yasha…" Kagome whispered and gently touched his shoulder, strands of his silken white hair caught between her fingers. Slowly, she ran her fingers down, pulling the white strands with her, fixing any snarls or tangles she ran into. The silky hair slipped from her fingers as she reached the bottom, all the while Inu yasha watching in fascination.

'How can you stand to be so close to me?' he asked silently.

"I can't go down there ever again, Kagome," Inu yasha said crossly. "They feared and hated me as a hanyou, now I'm a youkai. They're humans. I don't belong there; I'm not supposed to be near them."

"You're near me," Kagome's soft words reached his ears. Inu yasha's breath hitched in his throat. "Your father was near your mother," she said even softer, as if afraid to strike a nerve within Inu yasha. The inu youkai remained silent. Kagome bowed her head. "I'll stay out here with you."

Inu yasha let out a small sigh.

"If you want me to leave…" Kagome said quietly, "I'll leave you alone."

"No…stay…" Inu yasha couldn't stand the thought of Kagome leaving him alone. 'Alone…' it was such a horrible word; it rang through his head and made his heart stop beating.

Perhaps it was because he knew he'd be alone one day.

Inu yasha quickly scooped up Kagome and jumped into the God tree, revealing a small shriek of surprise from the schoolgirl. He positioned himself in the tree with the girl in his arms. Kagome sat ridged in his arms before relaxing enough to lean against his strong chest.

"Inu yasha…" Kagome said quietly and breathed in his woodsy scent. "You shouldn't think that you have to stay away from the village. Sango, Miroku, Shippou, and Kaede…me…we're all worried about you." Kagome turned in his arms so that she was straddling the large tree branch. She stared him squarely in the eyes, the blue orbs dancing like fire, staring down the golden gaze.

'But why…?' he thought to himself as Kagome continued to stare at him. He could see so many emotions in those eyes, so many uncertainties and all her strengths. 'Why do you stand by me when I'm like this…? I'm a youkai now, I'm a blood thirsty youkai…I'll betray you someday. I no longer have my humanity. My humanity. My human side…what connected me to you…it's gone…it's all gone…'

Kagome sighed when he didn't say anything and leaned forward against his chest, her hands lightly touching his shoulders and her head resting underneath his chin. Inu yasha wrapped his arms around her and stared off towards the now completely dark horizon, bright stars twinkling before being covered by dark, black clouds. He closed his golden eyes tightly and clenched his jaw.

'I can never be close to Kagome. It will only destroy her…I'm a youkai now. I'm just like Sesshoumaru…I'm just like my brother…I've destroyed the one thing that made me different from him. I've destroyed my mother's blood…' That startling realization caused a pain to run through him, like a bucket of ice cold water had been dumped on top of him. He was no longer aware of the girl in his arms, or the sturdy tree beneath him, or the dark sky. All he could focus on was one thing.

'I've killed my mother…'

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Kagome awoke the next morning in Kaede's hut. She blinked in surprise and sat up, puzzlement evident in her eyes. Hadn't she been in the tree with Inu yasha? Startled, she looked around for the said youkai, but couldn't find him. Instead, she was met with the one-eyed gaze of Kaede.

"Kaede-bachan?" Kagome asked as she stood, "Good morning. Um…have you seen Inu yasha?"

"Nay, child, I assume he's still in the Goshinboku," Kaede said gravely as she scooped breakfast into a bowl and handed it to Kagome. Kagome sighed deeply and brushed her black hair behind her ear.

"Drat," Kagome mumbled, "I was hoping he'd gotten over his fear of being seen by others…"

"Apparently not," Kaede said, frowning. "Did Inu yasha eat?"

"Yes," Kagome said, her dampened mood slightly lifting when she remembered. "I watched him," Kagome shook her head, "He wasn't happy about it though. Then I offered to stay with him, and he agreed. I must have fallen asleep…"

"And woken up here," Kaede said and nodded sitting down in front of the fire pit. "Aye, Inu yasha has undergone much trauma in his life, but he has never reacted like this."

"No, he hasn't," Kagome agreed and sat across from the old woman. "He normally just covers up his feelings. In a way he is; he won't even talk to me…" Kagome said sadly, "He always seems lost in thought and so…sad…it's so ironic, too, because he was always talking about how he wanted to become a full youkai. Now he is, and he isn't happy."

"Nay, he isn't," Kaede agreed.

"I just wish I could help him," Kagome said, feeling the beginnings of tears on the back of her eyes, "I hate being so helpless, I hate seeing him like this." Kagome pulled her knees up towards her chest and hugged her legs to her, trying to resist the urge to cry. She had to be strong…for Inu yasha's sake.

Kaede furrowed her brow and stared at the small fire that separated her from Kagome. Her old, beady eye seemed unfocused and concentrated as she tapped her lip in contemplation.

"Perhaps there is," Kaede said and a small smile graced her lips.

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Inu yasha stood on the hill leading down to the village, the wind whipping his long, white hair behind him, his golden eyes, rimmed with the deadly crimson red, staring at the small wooden huts down far below, beyond the rice paddies. His hands clenched into fists as he took a deep breath.

'I am no longer the Inu yasha Kagome knows,' he told himself, refusing to believe otherwise. 'I have killed the only thing that made me human. I have destroyed a blood tie to my mother…I will eventually betray my friends…my companions…my Kagome.' He took a deep breath as he stared at Kaede's hut, where he knew Kagome was eating; preparing the meal she'd soon deliver him. 'I must protect her from this incomplete me. I will not allow myself to get close to Kagome ever again.'

He snapped his eyes shut and resisted the urge to howl out all the emotions running through him. "I have to push Kagome away…"