Lee's kindof a mysterious kid. We know how much he looks up to Gai-sensei, but what about other parenting figures in his life? Or does he have the same messed up past that seems to be mandatory to be a character in this series?? Don't mind me and my ramblings; I'm just curious...

I forget which episode this is. It's somewhere after twenty-five and before sixty-five. Could be anywhere in between...Anywho, this is just a short chapter I found that I'd started long ago. I just tidied it up a bit for posting.

Lee's Fight: Take 'em off!

By myakarnin

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"But... that's why he can win! Lee! Take them off!"

"But...Gai sensei! That's for when I must protect many precious people, isn't it?"

"Come on! I'll allow it!"

Lee's face suddenly shone with the intensity of his grin. "Okay!" Plopping himself down on the statue's head, he pulled off his leg warmers, revealing to his audience the weights that were hidden there. With "guts" ballast in each hand, he stood and let them to the floor.

The two weights plunged downwards, barely making a noise as they collided with the ground rushing up to meet them, then...bouncing?

Kakashi turned to a rueful-looking Gai. "Styrofoam?"

Gai turned a red face towards his pupil. "You wore the wrong weights today, Lee!"

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"But... that's why he can win! Lee! Take it off!"

The entire audience blanched, except for a few choice persons who sported identical looks of confusion and puzzlement. Gai looked around, bewildered, at the strange looks he was getting from Kakashi and all the other jounin. "What?"

Kakashi coughed lightly, before stepping towards his self-proclaimed rival. "Gai, do you really think this is a good idea?" Gai still looked baffled. "I mean, telling your student to 'take it off' here...in front of everybody...Don't you feel that should wait until he's in a more intimate setting? If you're really trying to help him get Sakura's attention, I'll set something up. Just...not here. Who knows how many underage persons could be watching? Think of the lawsuits. Think of the alimony and all the psychological damage."

Now Lee looked confused.

"Um, Gai-sensei...so do I take 'em off or not?" His gaze was switching back and forth between his role model Gai and his latest beloved Sakura-san. Taking it off would surely impress her, wouldn't it? I mean, what girl didn't want a guy that could go in and out, up and down as fast as he could? Finally decided, Lee bent over, reaching for his ankles.

Everyone blanched again.

"Don't do it!" Gaara was the only one who could find his voice. "Please! Leave all your clothing on!" His face looked pleadingly upwards, his normally cold eyes brimming with tears. "I surrender! You win! Just...keep all your clothes on!"

Naruto still looked curious. "I'm confused," he confessed loudly, his words echoing throughout the preliminary stadium. "Take it off?"

Lee's face brightened. "You want to see, Naruto-kun?" Everyone stared in horror at the blonde, then, almost like one of those slow-motion moments where everyone shouts, "NO!" in that slow motion and really low-pitched fashion, they all rushed to cover his mouth and prevent him from answering.

Alas, but they were too late.

"Yeah!"

Lee turned on his sparkle smile for a moment, giving his trademark-stolen- from-Gai-sensai pose. "YOSH!" And to the crowd's great horror, he whipped off his forest green, streamlined for speed, spandex training suit.

And posed.

All stared in various degrees of mental instability at Lee, now decked out in his white bellbottoms, flared silk shirt, and various bling bling. And then he began to disco.

"Sakura-san had a purty face; a ponytail hangin' down; a wiggle and a walkin'; a singin' and a talkin'..."

More screams of horror as one by one the onlookers passed out from the noise that would never represent music. Naruto and Gai-sensai began tapping their feet and humming along with the music.

But of all the screams, Gaara's were by far the loudest and blood curling. His sand couldn't take it any longer. It shot through the air towards the unsuspecting Elvis impersonator and quickly buried him under several feet of sand. The noise, the sounds only a mother would call singing without wincing, stopped.

Hatake's sickly eyes looked happier than they'd looked in years. "I pronounce Gaara the winner of this round!"

The crowd broke out in cheers.

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Heh heh. Sexual innuendo will always be fun. Even if it's not between Sasuke and Naruto. I mean, COME ON!! Tell me that something similar to my latter scenario didn't flash through your mind when Gai-sensai yells out "Take 'em off!"

Those of you that admit it, I proud of you and your twisted minds. And anyone who's denying it is really lying.

Question of the day: Which do you prefer? Blond or Blonde?