Disclaimer: I own anything you don't recognize. Everything else belongs to Tamora Pierce.

Key:

"speaking"

'thinking'

*italics/intercom*

{UniLang}

[Spanish}

Chapter Two

Conversations

Back at the Home, Raoul, Alanna, Neal, Lisan, Dom, Flyndan, and Lerant gathered in the Knight-Commander's room. Those Kel had not spoken to privately were full of questions.

"It *is* Kel, right? She's come back?" Dom sounded unusually hopeful.

The privileged four exchanged glances. "Yes," Raoul answered slowly, "it *is* Kel. But I'm not so sure she's 'come back,' as you put it."

Flyndan frowned. "What do you mean? What did she say?"

"Not what you'd expect from old friends reunited," Lisan muttered darkly.

Raoul studied the squire. "If you thing about it, she did greet and say she missed us, in her own way."

Alanna glanced at him, confused. "She did? How so?"

It was Neal who answered his former knight-mistress's question. "Well, the fact that she actually spoke with us rather than locking us up in here, then sending us on our way when Alrik is released, for one. Also, did you catch how she said she wanted to reminisce? Not in quite so many words, but close enough."

"She also mentioned that she was glad girls were still able to become knights," Raoul added. "And she said - several times, in fact - that had she had the opportunity, she'd have returned."

"But what did you talk about?" Flyndan persisted. "You were gone an awfully long while."

"She said tat we'll be escorted back to the Golden Lake once Alrik's been released from the hospital," Raoul said. "She also said that the gods were not involved in her disappearance, Columban must remain secret, she's one of the only people standing between us and death, and our lives are in her hands. She threatened to kill us if we told anyone about this city."

"She threatened to *kill* you?" Lerant repeated, shocked. Alanna nodded. "But my lord! That's impossible!"

"We're older than we were nine years ago. She knows that," Alanna reasoned, though she hated to admit it. "Besides which, this is *her* territory; her city. *And* she said she'd been fighting for her life for six years straight. One doesn't do that without *tremendously* developing his or her skills. I haven't even been *training* for six years straight - not since I was a page and squire. I'd not be surprised if she could soundly beat me in a duel and do it easily. And it's never impossible to threaten to kill someone."

Neal shook his head mournfully. "One wonders what she went through that made her so ... *ruthless*. I mean threatening to kill and stranger or an enemy is one thing, but a friend?" He again shook his head."

Dom too shook his head. "I don't think she could," he said softly.

"Is it that important to her that this city remain a secret?" Lerant asked.

"If she wanted to keep it a secret, then why did she bring us here in the first place?" Flyndan countered.

Raoul shrugged. "I don't know. Apparently it is."

Neal sighed. "So what do we do? Do we swear secrecy, then blurt it all out to King Jonathan and hope we'll be running for our lives a very long time? Do we *not* swear secrecy and stay here the rest of our lives? Or do we swear secrecy and *keep* it a secret?"

Alanna glared at him. "I hate it when you put it that way."

"Could we try reasoning with her?" Lisan asked.

All heads turned to Neal and Raoul. "You know her best," Alanna said. "Would she be willing to reason?"

Neal thought for a moment, then shook his head. "I think not. Once she has an idea in her head, it takes an awful lot of persuasion to get it out. And if she tells herself she's going to do something - drawn up a plan and procedures - then she will do it no matter what. She won't let herself back down from a goal or a charge she's placed upon herself. That would be the ultimate shame."

"Well, that rules *that* out," Dom grumbled, discouraged.

"If we swear secrecy, then tell the king, we'll never be safe for the rest of our lives," Flyndan said. "I don't doubt her when she says she'll hunt us down and kill us. And she has the resources to hunt us for a very long time."

"*If* she finds out," Lisan pointed out.

"I have no doubt she has spies and informants in Corus, and even Fief Goldenlake," Raoul said. "She'll find out."

"But she can't very well keep us here," Lerant argued. "We're fairly well-known, all of us. If we disappeared, the king would search for us, and she would run an even higher risk of discovery."

"There are ways of getting around that," Dom said darkly. "But I'm having a hard time believing she'd do something like that."

Lisan frowned at his tone. "Such as...?"

Dom refused to answer; refused to believe that she would be so cold-hearted as to do something like that to her friends. "All she would have to do to bring the investigation to a halt would be to leave our bodies in the glade with the centaurs. The investigators would be led to assume that we were killed in the battle and the surviving centaurs took the horses."

Lisan stared at them in disbelief. Finally she said, "She wouldn't do that. No to her friends."

"That's what I keep telling you," Dom agreed.

"I think she would," Neal agreed with Flyndan, surprising them all. "She said that if we can't promise to keep this a secret, then she *couldn't* let us leave. Then she said that 'Columban's secrecy and safety is more important to her than our lives.'"

Silence reigned supreme in the room for several minutes as the healer-knight's words sunk in. Kel had made it clear that their lives were not as valuable to her as Columban. They'd just never realized *how* clear, nor how serious she was.

"So our only option is honest secrecy, then?" Dom asked.

"The king deserves to know about this place, if only because it's in Tortall." Lisan argued.

"Actually, we don't know that," Raoul countered thoughtfully. "These mountains *are* the border between Galla and Tortall. We don't know how far we came. We might very well be in Galla, in which case they have every right to threaten us tin order to keep their secrecy."

"I agree with Lisan," said Alanna abruptly.

The others turned to stare, and she said, "If Jon know there was something out here that was to be left undisturbed, then he could keep people away from here. We don't even have to tell him what it is, only that it means us no harm if left in peace, which it does."

"But would Kel accept that?" Lerant wanted to know. "We wouldn't actually tell him who and what it is, so it'd be *sorta* keeping it a secret. But would her spies think that?"

"That implies we don't *tell* her we're going to do that," Raoul said. "If we *do* tell her, then maybe she won't kill us."

"But what if the king decides to check it out?" Neal said. "He'd be curious as to what we want kept secret. Either he'll order us to tell him, or he'll go investigating himself, and most likely get not only himself, but us also killed by a very ticked-off Kel."

Lisan frowned. "But wouldn't he trust your judgment? After all, you *are* his Champion and the Knight Commander of the King's Own. You'd think he'd have faith in you."

Alanna nodded. "You'd think. But remember, this isn't all about him. If Kel doesn't agree, we could be putting ourselves - and even all of Tortall - in even greater danger."

Again the room was silent as they contemplated the best course of action. It was Flyndan who finally broke the silence. "I think I agree with Lisan and Alanna."

One by one the others nodded in agreement. Once everyone had voted, Raoul leaned back in his chair. "All right then. Dom, let your people know they're not to speak of this place. I'm going to wander around, see what I can find out. I'd suggest you do the same.

_______________________________________

Kel stayed in her study as the Tortallans filed out, led by the girl that tended her home when she was gone (which, unfortunately, was often) and acted as Kel's secretary, Sable. When the door had closed behind them, she sighed and stood, turning to stand by the window behind her desk and watch Columban. She had a lot to think about.

'What am I going to do? These aren't Glondi, or even Heronians(1). These are Mendari - *my* people. Even though I told Mithros that I don't *feel* like a Mendari anymore, that doesn't change the fact that I *am* one. Besides, that was three years ago. I've lived among my people since then. Well, not *among*, among them, but still. I'm remembering what it was like to live in blessed ignorance of what is out there. I'm remembering the simplicity of my life then compared to now. That old saying, "Ignorance is bliss"? I'm starting to believe it.'

She watched as three boys and a girl ran out into the street behind her mansion, tossing a baseball back and forth. 'But I'm not ignorant. I *know* what's out there. I have an obligation to people out there. And part of that obligation is to protect the Terrans from all threats. *All* threats. Including my own people. But can I do that? I may have to kill them. I *will* kill them, if they become a liability. I told myself I would the day I set foot in Columban. I told myself that I would let no one live that knew of this place if their knowing became dangerous. And I have to hold true to that. I can't back down from my *own* charge.'

She watched as the girl ducked to avoid a ball thrown a little too high, shouting in surprise. The boy who'd tossed it yelped and ran behind another boy who appeared to be his brother. The brother and the other boy laughed as the girl got to her feet and started toward the unfortunate target of her wrath. A small smile touched the admiral's lips. 'But even then, down in my heart, I knew this day would come. I knew we couldn't live here in peace forever. Someone would find us eventually, and I would have to fulfill my charge. I just never thought it would be so soon. Or that it would be *them*.'

The boy had fled when the girl was a short distance away. She'd been led on a merry chase, but she'd caught him. Now they were rolling on the ground, laughing and having a good time. The smile spread, then faded. 'How can I justify killing them? Neal was my sponsor. He believed in me when no one else would. He was there for me when I needed him; he never let me down. And Raoul. He took me under his wing, trained me as his squire. He saved me, just like he saved Lerant. He taught me so many things. Then there's Alanna. She helped me throughout my page and squire years in her own way, even though she couldn't meet me. And then of course Dom and Lerant and Flyndan and Dom's men. *Alrik*, even. How can I justify killing a man I just went through the trouble of healing?'

Kel sighed as the children tired of their game of catch and moved on. The baseball lay forgotten in the road, dusty and dirty. Kel's mind switched gears. 'I'm almost like that baseball, in a way. When I was interesting, people paid attention to me. But then I disappear, and come back just a little too high, threatening to kill those who were close to me. Then when they're gone, I'll be alone, forgotten; dusty and dirty.'

She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on the windowpane. 'I can't do this. I'd never be able to live with myself if I did.'

'But you have to.'

Her eyes tightened, fighting against her harsher self, the personality that had dominated for the past nine years. 'No I don't. I can send them back, let them be.'

'No you can't. You know better than that. If you let them leave, then one of them will eventually slip up. Then there will be Tortallans and Gallans alike coming and looking and bothering . . . . *Then* where will you be?'

'But to *kill* them?!'

'Maybe you won't have to.'

Kel blinked. Both sides of her were startled at the new thought. Simultaneously, they asked, 'What?'

'Commander Linch is a Devonian(2). Devonians are telepathic. Telepaths tamper with people's minds.'

Kel frowned, not sure she liked were this was going. 'And . . . ?'

'Have him alter their memories. Not wipe them, just alter them. Then your conscience can be clean.'

Kel blanched. 'What are you talking about?! A clean conscience?! I'll have tampered with their *minds*! The most personal parts of their beings! I'll have made Commander Linch to go against his beliefs!'

Before the new side of herself could answer, the intercom on Kel's desk *buzzed*. Startled, she jumped, frowned, then walked over and flicked it absent-mindedly. "Yes?"

Sable's voice drifted through the speakers. "'Incoming message from the *Jupiter*, Admiral'."

Kel frowned. 'Didn't I just get back from there?' "Put it through." She sat heavily in her chair and brought up her vidscreen(3) that was set in the face of her desk. The image of Captain A'bac Sarainak, a Triliu(4), appeared, looking unsettled. "Yes, Captain?"

"'We've picked up some energy transmissions just outside the system. The readings indicate a Heronian battle group of significant size - seven Mindale-class assault cruisers, three Marak-class attack cruisers, plus various support vessels.'"

Kel nodded as an insert popped up, displaying the readings. But then her frowned deepened. "What's this?"

Sarainak nodded. "'That's what we're trying to figure out. Neither Linch nor I have seen anything like it before. Lispath hasn't, either. And you know how up-to-date he is on things like this.'" Sarainak leaned back in his chair. "'And guess what else we discovered?'"

She glared. "Do I want to?"

"They're coming from a rather isolated piece of space. The only slipstream line leading out of there goes directly to Calam.'"

Kel's frown changed to a worried scowl. "I *really* didn't need to know that. I may not know much about the Calam-"

"'Does anyone?'"

"-but I know enough to be worried. Prep the docking bay. I'm coming up."

Sarainak nodded. "'Yes, ma'am.'"

The vidscreen went blank, and Kel flicked on the intercom. "Warm up the *Red Spot*. I'm going up to the *Jupiter* for a bit. Tell Cavalont to keep an ear open."

Sable knew better than to ask. "'Right away, Admiral.'"

Kel switched the intercom off, then stared at her desk. 'If only dealing with nosy Mendari was this easy,' she thought ruefully. Shaking her head, she stood and made her way out the door and to the landing pad.

Definitions/Terms

(1) Heronians. Beings who have sworn loyalty to the Deon are referred to as such. They are different from Herons, as Herons are a race (the Deon being one of the last), while the Heronians are akin to a nationality.

(2) Devonian. A race of people from the planet Davonsue. Shape-shifters and telepaths. In natural form,similar to a very thin horse. Short neck, human head with two lidless eyes, a nose, and a tube attached to both cheeks that serves as the mouth (not a proboscis). They also have two tall (2 foot) flexible stalks on the top of their heads, on which are mounted another pair of eyes. A long, 13-15 foot tail with 4-6 short (1 foot), thin, string-like sacs that contain poison. Devonians are immune to the poison. Usually purple-furred. Not hoofed. Can take any living form, but not inanimate.

(3) Vidscreen. A communication screen - you can see the person you're talking to.

(4) Triliu. A race of people from the planet Trili. They look like octopi with three eyes and only four tentacles, plus a torso and four arms.