This story was brought to you in consideration of (Any Politician/s of Your Choice), the great men of our nations.
XXX
Once upon a time in a land far, far away, where there were lush green trees, singing birds and bouncing bunnies, there was a little kingdom known as the Kingdom of Happy People. Everyone there, regardless of race or religion, were happy people.
(ENTER Town Crier. Town Crier runs through town.)
TOWN CRIER: HEAR YE! HEAR YE! EVERYBODY'S HAPPY!
(EXIT Town Crier.)
And oh yes, they were!
The butcher was happy!
The baker was happy!
The candlestick-maker was happy!
The people of the Kingdom of Happy People were the happiest people that you could ever come by.
Until one day...
(CUE Lightning Flash and Thunder Booms)
(CUE Evil Guy Laughter)
A DEMON appeared!
And the people of the Kingdom of Happy People were not happy anymore!
The butcher wasn't happy!
The baker wasn't happy!
The candlestick-maker wasn't happy!
So okay, the insurance agents were happy, but nobody gives a hoot about them, so why should we?
The Kingdom of Happy People was not to be if it had no happy people! Thus and therefore, the Great King Honda decided that something should be done about the DEMON!
Anything to get the tourists to come back.
(ENTER Unhappy People of the Kingdom of Happy People)
(ENTER Great King Honda and Great Queen Honda.)
(CUE Cheering of Large Crowds)
GREAT KING HONDA: My humble subjects! I have come up with a flawless plan to rid us of this great menace! Valid from this point forward, whichever man who can capture the foul creature and bring him to me - be it dead or alive - will be rewarded with my daughter's hand in marriage!
There were no takers. And all because of one very important point.
(ENTER Random Unhappy Person)
RANDOM UNHAPPY PERSON: Your Majesty the Great King Honda, you don't have a daughter!
(CUE Great King Honda Laughter)
GREAT KING HONDA: That is but a minor detail, my humble subjects! You shall have my daughter the princess, and she will win your hearts and steel you to fight our nemesis!
(EXIT Random Unhappy Person)
(EXIT Unhappy People of the Kingdom of Happy People)
(Great King Honda WHISPERS TO Great Queen Honda)
GREAT KING HONDA: Your Majesty.
GREAT QUEEN HONDA: Yes, Your Majesty?
GREAT KING HONDA: Let's get to work on this daughter, or we'll never get the tourists back.
XXX
And in the years that followed, the DEMON continued to terrorize the unhappy people of the Kingdom of Happy People.
For the DEMON was always hungry.
(ENTER Unhappy People with Bread Loaves)
And the DEMON was always thirsty.
(ENTER Unhappy People with Flasks of Fine Wine)
And the DEMON occasionally indulged himself in snacks.
(ENTER Unhappy People with a King-sized Seafood Pizza with Extra Leek)
(ENTER Unhappy Baker)
UNHAPPY BAKER: Igor, you fool! What have you done?! I told you: no leek on seafood pizzas!!
(CUE Angry DEMON Roar)
(CUE Unhappy People Screaming)
(EXIT Unhappy Cook AND Unhappy People with a King-sized Seafood Pizza with Extra Leek)
XXX
However! Among these poor unhappy people of the Kingdom of Happy people were three young lads who would, one day, capture the DEMON. The first was Ayame, the second was Hatori, and the third was Shigure.
(ENTER Ayame, Hatori AND Shigure)
SHIGURE: Aya-chan!
AYAME: Yes?
SHIGURE: What do you want to be when you grow up?
AYAME: Of course, I wish to be the fundamental key to release the people's constraints, so they may set forth on the quest for MAN'S ROMANCE!
So Ayame became a tailor.
AYAME: Gure-chan!
SHIGURE: Oui, mon ami?
AYAME: What do you want to be when you grow up?
SHIGURE: I want to do works of art, and be known in every place that I choose to set foot!
So Shigure became a novelist and wrote "Once Upon A Demon", the screenplay.
AYAME&SHIGURE: Tori-chan!
HATORI: ...what?
AYAME: How about you?
SHIGURE: What do you want to be when you grow up?
HATORI: I honestly don't care.
So Hatori became a doctor.
(EXIT Ayame, Hatori AND Shigure)
And the rest will have to wait for the next chapter, non?
Yours Sincerely,
Sohma Shigure