Phew! What a weight! I never thought I'd get it done, but I did! Finally, with all the evidence wiped, none shall find out what Ayame and I have been doing in the closet! What are you looking at? Put that camera down, come on-What? We're on air?! You could have at least said something first! How much have the audience heard already?!

All of it?!

Alright, just...just let's get on with the show and pretend nothing happened.

CURTAIN!

XXX

The day arrived when the daughter of Great King Honda, Princess Tohru, was to celebrate her thirteenth birthday. Everyone was bustling about getting ready for this glorious event.

(ENTER Ayame, Hatori AND Shigure in Court Jester Costume)

HATORI: So that's where you guys went.

AYAME: Is everyone ready for tonight's big party?

SHIGURE: I'll be there in Cap and Bell Tie!

HATORI: I never did get around to asking you what you were doing in that getup.

SHIGURE: Aya's idea.

AYAME: Doesn't 'Gure look cool?

HATORI: Now I know why...

(ENTER Princess Tohru AND Attendants)

AYAME: Look! There's Princess Tohru! Quick, 'Gure! Wave!

SHIGURE: Oh PRIIIIIIIIIIIINCEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!

HATORI: I just can't watch....

(CUE Loud Splashes)

AYAME: Oh my. I didn't know Friar Harry was that easy to shock.

SHIGURE: Well, at least he can get out of that Lincoln green suit now.

HATORI: You guys should be thankful that her Royal Highness is alright.

AYAME: Isn't she the best? She's a princess without a flaw! She's lovely, she's kind...

SHIGURE: And she laughs at all my jokes!

HATORI: Well, nobody's perfect.

AYAME: Is she beautiful, or is she beautiful?

SHIGURE: She's beautiful. But why are both choices the same?

HATORI: It's a rhetorical question.

SHIGURE: Oh.

(ENTER Prince Yuki)

SHIGURE: Look! There's the young man she loves! Prince Yuki!

AYAME: A fine figure of a prince, if I do say so myself!

SHIGURE: Wasn't he supposed to be a rat?

HATORI: The Princess kissed him. Poof.

SHIGURE: Can that happen?

HATORI: There's always room for crossovers.

SHIGURE: I see.

AYAME: Is he handsome, or is he handsome?

SHIGURE&HATORI: He's handsome.

(EXIT Princess Tohru, Prince Yuki AND Attendants)

(ENTER Great King Honda)

GREAT KING HONDA: What's going on around here! Royal Bard! What are you doing in that ridiculous suit?!

SHIGURE: But, Your Majesty, isn't it cool?

AYAME: Yes, isn't it?

GREAT KING HONDA: No, it is not! You're a Bard, Royal Bard! A Poet! Not a Monkey! And my guests will be arriving any minute! Surely you three have something better to do!

AYAME, HATORI & SHIGURE: Yes, Your Majesty!

GREAT KING HONDA: Then, do it!

AYAME, HATORI & SHIGURE: Yes, Your Majesty!

(EXIT Great King Honda)

AYAME: Boy, what a grouch.

SHIGURE: Hey, 'Tori, why is the king so moody these days?

HATORI: Depression. Kings are human beings, like the rest of us.

SHIGURE: You mean...we all have some form of irregularity?

HATORI: No. I'm saying that everyone has a different degree of anger management.

AYAME: Ah. Anger management.

HATORI: Yes. While one man has full control, another will have a mild temper, and yet another will have occasional violent bouts.

AYAME: So the fourth one is some kind of nut?

HATORI: That's right.

SHIGURE: Good thing there's only three of us, huh?

HATORI: Must you clown around like this?

SHIGURE: I'm wearing a monkey suit. It's my job.

(EXIT Ayame, Hatori AND Shigure in Court Jest Costume)

And believe it or not, we end again for a short break!

Ah! Momiji! What brings you here so soon? Oh! You're a messenger! What? Hatori wants me dead for making him OOC? Don't be ridiculous, boy! How could he possibly-AAHH!!!! Hatori, PLEASE! NOT THAT! NOT THE ROLLED UP NEWSPAPER! WAIT! CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT THIS! WAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!

#click#

Yours Sincerely,

Sohma Shigure