Summary: "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!" said Lily. "Well. If that's how you want to play it," muttered James ...
Disclaimer: I disclaim Harry Potter. There, all disclaimed.
James rested his chin on the wooden desk, his tongue poked out the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on carving 'I love LE' into the wood, next to the words 'Snivellus Stinks'.
When he finished carving the E he sighed audibly and pushed himself up onto his elbows, glancing at Professor Flitwick, absorbed in marking essays he stretched his arms up, turning to look at Remus Lupin, sat next to him. He grinned cheekily; Remus frowned and turned back to his own work. James rolled his eyes. Remus would get over it soon enough. It wasn't James' fault McGonagall had put Remus in detention with him and Sirius. James wasn't too bothered about this newest detention, as far as he was concerned. Snivellus deserved what he got.
James frowned slightly; Snape could expect quite a few 'nasty surprises' over the next few days, after calling Evans 'mudblood'. James could take Snape saying things about him, but even if he didn't have a huge crush on Lily, he wouldn't stand for it.
Flitwick glanced at the clock:
"Right boys, you may go, try and keep out of trouble in the near future would you?"
James grinned:
"I'll try, Professor"
Flitwick sighed; looking disappointed, and exited the classroom.
"What's up with him?" James said, a little disturbed by the disappointment on his Professors face. He glanced over at Remus.
"Don't talk to me!" Remus said loudly, "you either!" he added as Sirius strolled up to them from the back of the classroom, yawning:
"What'd I do?" he said, an air of innocence about him, betrayed only by the mischievous look in his eyes.
Remus let out a hiss of frustration, and swinging his bag over his shoulder, left the classroom:
"What's the matter with very everyone today?" James questioned in surprise.
"I dunno" Sirius replied airily. "Lets get some food"
"It's two in the afternoon Sirius, we had lunch an hour and a half ago!" James said loudly.
"Your point?" Sirius asked, looking questioningly at his messy-haired friend.
"Nothing, I was just commenting on the fact that we haven't eaten for an hour and a half" James replied, "no wonder I wasn't feeling quite myself".
Sirius grinned and they began to walk out of the classroom. As he followed James he glanced down at the desk James had been sitting at, he grinned at the 'Snivellus Stinks' carving, then frowned slightly as he saw the next:
"James, we really need to get you a girl – and NOT Lily!" he added as James tried to interrupt.
"What do you mean Lily? I'm over that one my friend" James said airily, sweeping out of the room.
Sirius rolled his eyes and followed James out of the room, about 10 minutes later they were on their way back up to the Gryffindor dormitory, arms laden with food.
"Huh!" a voice said from a room to the left, Lily Evans walked out of the empty classroom, books in her hands. James stared at her inquiringly, a slight grin on his face.
"Afternoon Lily!" he said lightly.
Lily scowled at him, "not for Severus, I'm sure."
James grin got wider. Lily didn't fail to notice:
"That was despicable James!" she began, "of all the mean stunts you've pulled that's got to be the-"
Sirius zoned out at this point, well used to Lily's never-ending tirades towards James, he rolled his eyes and began to walk slowly up the corridor.
Lily was still ranting furiously at James who strode off down the corridor after Sirius, Lily jogged slightly to keep up with him:
"I wish you'd leave him alone! Just go and apologise to him! He doesn't deserve that!" she continued, James stopped and turned towards Lily, she also stopped mid sentence, surprised, James usually kept quiet whilst she was ranting at him.
"Lily" James said calmly, "Sorry."
"Wha?" she said completely stunned, "you're sorry about Snape?" she continued, her face brightening, "this is great James! Just brilliant, don't you feel better know you've apologised? I hope this means you'll leave him alone know because-"as she was babbling James had hold of her arm gently underneath her elbow, and was leading her to a broom-cupboard, leading her in there, he backed towards the door, Lily was still completely oblivious, lost in the thought that James Potter may have finally changed.
"Actually, Lily" James said loudly, "I'm sorry about this". He stopped and flashed her a lopsided grin before closing the cupboard door and locking it. He shook his head, and whistling to cover up Lily's violent yells of what she would do to him when she got out of the cupboard, he strolled up the corridor towards Sirius;
"If you want to go out with her I think you're going about it the wrong way" Sirius commented, glancing at the cupboard shaking heavily with the blows Lily was raining down on it;
James shrugged:
"I wonder when she'll remember she can 'Alohomora' her way out of there" he said vaguely.
"Probably when she stops thinking about your violent death" Sirius said with a grin, putting a fake look of worry on his face, he added:
"Maybe we should have left her some food, she could be in there for years!"
James shoved his friend playfully and they continued up to the Gryffindor tower.
About an hour later, Sirius and James had finished all the food they had brought up to Gryffindor tower, contemplated doing some homework, decided against it, and begun a game of 'put an exploding snap card on as many chairs as possible then laugh when someone sits down on it'. Unfortunately, Remus had sat down on one of the chairs; and the two boys were now mournfully contemplating life without Remus' Charms notes.
Suddenly, a first year rushed into the Common room, he tripped through the portrait hole and desperately scrambled to get up:
"What's wrong with you?" James asked, in a bored voice, running a hand through his hair.
"Lily!" the first year panted "...Evans. Coming up here. Now. Broom Cupboard. Furious!"
James jumped up, Sirius right behind him, they glanced around madly for a few seconds until Sirius shouted: "Dormitories!"
Both boys sprinted up the stairs, closely followed by the petrified first year. The rest of the common room looked amused as they wondered what James and Sirius had done now. Lily burst through the portrait, in her fury; she became the second person that day to fall into the common room. She quickly righted herself and grabbed a passing second-year by the collar:
"Where. Are. They?" she said through gritted teeth, hair askew, face a bright red and eyes dancing angrily:
The second-year squeaked, pointing up at the entrance to the boy's dormitories.
"Right" Lily said grimly, letting goof the first year, who promptly ran. She rolled up her sleeves and charged up the stairs:
"POTTER!"
The common room waited with baited breath as they heard anguished wails coming from upstairs, Sirius ran into the Common room, almost falling down the steps in his haste to get away. James followed him quickly, Sirius dove behind a sofa, made immensely more difficult by the fact that he was wearing a ladies ball gown, James dived behind him, tottering in a mini-skirt sand heels.
Lily came strolling down the stairs:
"Next time ... you ..." she said, obviously not able to find words strong enough to describe her rage, she shook her fist at him violently, before storming off to the girls dormitories.
"You look pretty," Sirius said to his friend, grinning.
James glared.