Summary: "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid!" said Lily. "Well. If that's how you want to play it," muttered James ...
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Chapter Two
Later on that afternoon, Sirius and James had burnt their dresses, despite Peter's insistence that James actually looked:
"Really nice!"
They had left Peter in the kitchens for the afternoon, as he was starting to freak James out a little bit:
"Was she really mad?" James said nervously
"You locked her in a cupboard for three hours" Remus said dryly, looking up from a thick book, "she wasn't exactly jumping for joy, as you saw" he grinned widely, remembering the dresses.
"How'd she get out?" Sirius asked idly, flicking bits of paper across the table, James frowned at him, realising the bits of paper had just been torn from his Astronomy homework, but turned back to Remus:
"Some first year, he opened the door and she came charging out sending hexes flying everywhere, he was terrified, I think he's in the hospital wing at the moment having a pencil removed from an 'intimate' area"
Sirius burst out laughing, James, looked slightly worried:
"She blames me doesn't she?" he asked Remus gravely.
"Yep" he said, standing up he threw his book on the table, "I'm going to go see Peter", he said vaguely, wandering out of the Common Room.
James frowned:
"What's the matter?" Sirius said, smiling widely.
"Do you think ... if I was ... nice ... to Lily, she'd go out with me?" James said looking at Sirius.
Sirius pretended to think deeply for a moment before saying:
"Well ... if you ... no."
James shoved him, looking a bit woebegone. Sirius, who didn't like it when James got into these Lily-induced depressions, leaned forward and whispered,
"Lets go to the hospital wing"
James looked up and smiled wickedly.
"OUT!" screamed Madam Hadley, "THIS IS NOT A ZOO!"
James and Sirius flew through the doors laughing, landing on their bums outside the door:
"That was ... I've never seen ANYTHING like it!" James gasped through his laughter.
Sirius snorted loudly, which only made them laugh harder:
"What are you two doing?" a frosty voice said, Lily was standing nearby, a bunch of Honking Daffodils in one hand, she was squeezing them so tightly the honking echoed down the corridor.
"Just ... er ... admiring your handiwork" Sirius sniggered.
Lily's eyes opened wider, as she realised hat he was talking about:
"How dare you! That was a COMPLETE accident! I thought he was you!" she yelled accusingly pointing at James.
James looked quite hurt, then grinned, "maybe it was the pencil, but I don't screw my face up like that!"
"Shutup." she said grumpily, scowling at James, "you know it was an accident!"
"You just said you meant to do it to James!" Sirius replied, grinning, "Would that have been an accident?"
"No." she said an evil glint in her eyes.
At that point a furious Madam Hadley, burst out of the hospital wing:
"I am trying to perform an immensely complex procedure in here! Since you seem incapable of keeping quiet in the corridors you can all go and see Professor McGonagall!"
"But-" Lily started.
"Go." Madam Hadley said menacingly.
Lily turned, with a glare on her face and began to drag her feet down the corridor, Sirius trailed after her.
James looked up at a glaring Madam Hadley, he smiled at her charmingly, Lily and Sirius had stopped, and were looking half-hopeful James would charm their way out of it:
But then James opened his mouth:
"Would a sharpener be of any use?"
"This really hurts!" James whined as they stood waiting for Professor McGonagall, he rubbed his bum again, wincing.
"You should've kept your fat mouth shut then" Lily said grumpily, picking her nails.
"That is a disgusting habit," Sirius said, stretching out his own fingers.
"You chew yours!" James said disbelievingly. Lily screwed up her face. Sirius grinned.
"We should tell Remus we're going to be in detention tonight" James said idly.
"He'll guess." Lily said viciously.
"Don't you want to inform your friends Lily?" Sirius said sarcastically.
"Oh no, Sirius, you must've forgotten" James continued loudly, "Evans doesn't have any friends"
"Unless you count Severus!" Sirius grinned. Lily got up stiffly and walked to the window on the other side of the corridor, looking out of it so they couldn't see her face. Sirius and James traded glances, Sirius shrugged.
A few minutes later, Professor McGonagall came walking up the corridor, humming to herself, when she saw the group outside her office her face hardened:
"In." Sirius dragged his feet into the office, and as Lily turned, James could see her eyes were slightly red, he looked at her curiously, but she kept her head low and walked in.
Ten minutes later they exited the office, Sirius was rubbing his left ear. Whilst James was limping with every other step:
"Why does she always yell in my ear like that?" Sirius asked
"Why did she make me sit on the floor?" James chimed in, "she knew my bum hurts, so she did it on purpose!"
Lily yawned loudly and obviously.
"What were you so red-eyed for?" Sirius said tactlessly, James would have shoved him, but he was just about to ask that question as well:
"I wasn't." she replied stiffly, speeding up, the boys also sped up, one on either side.
"Is it because you have no friends?" Sirius asked, trying to sound friendly.
"Shut up." Lily said tiredly, "I don't need friends, I'm concentrating on work, and its not like I don't talk to people" she said, before realising she was trying to justify herself to them. Sirius nodded sympathetically, then rolled his eyes at James behind her back.
James grinned; looking as if he'd suddenly had a very good idea:
"We'll be your friends!" Lily gave him a very nasty look.
"No thanks." She began to walk very fast up the next corridor, James would have followed her, but Sirius had got his hand stuck in a suit-of-armours visor, again.
"Why do you keep doing this? Just out of interest?" James asked Sirius whilst trying to pull his hand out of the visor.
"I swear there is a House Elf living in there!" Sirius replied, "Ow! And I bet Lucius Malfoy 20 Galleons I could catch it! I keep seeing its head pop out of the visor, but when I try and grab it, this happens" he continued indicating his trapped hand.
"What possesed you to make a bet with Malfoy?" James questioned, "and where would you get 20 Galleons from?"
"Malfoy" Sirius answered simply, "when I win."
James rolled his eyes:
"We could just ask one from the kitchen to pretend!" he said frustratedly, "Malfoys an idiot he wouldn't realise!"
Sirius looked confused:
"But that'd be cheating!"
"How long have you been friends with James again Padfoot?" a voice said, floating down the corridor.
Sirius grinned: "Lupin! I got my hand stuck!"
"Really?" Lupin replied, looking utterly un-shocked, "did you at least get the Elf?" he said sarcastically.
"Nah" Sirius replied, "this is probably the wrong suit of armour" he gave a wide grin and glanced at Lupins companion:
"Any ideas Peter?"
"I have some massage oil, might loosen it"
"What?!" James said, pausing in his dismantling of the armour, and joining Lupin in looking disgustedly at Peter.
"Why do you have massage oil?" Lupin asked, unconciously taking a step away from Peter.
"Emergencies!" he replied, squirming uncomfortably.
"Eugh" Sirius said loudly
"I hope that emergency would be a woman" Lupin muttered, walking over to Sirius and joining James in trying to pull him out from the suit of armour.
"Peter!" Sirius bellowed after ten minutes of fruitless tugging, "get the massage oil!"
Two passing third years raised their eyebrows:
"We're just friends!" Sirius said, with his eyes wide and innocent.
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