Othello and the Ten Line Challenge!
A/N: Yes I am aware that I am ripping the piss outta Shakespeare…. I really love his work though… I can't help it though if I get REALLY bored. Anywho this was a challenge inspired by Sparrow! So blame her for this insanity! I actually wrote this a while ago… but it was lost during the 'Crash of ye Laptop' saga and so I only just found the printed copy I had of it. –Meh whatcha gonna do!
The Challenge: To write each scene of Othello with only ten lines of speech (Not including stage directions) Believe me NOT EASY!!!! You have to adapt the play to your own style (Therefore TONS of swearing and sexual innuendo), but must keep the general plotline and main points/ story order!
Disclaimer: As usual I don't own ANYTHING! Except the coarse language –Winks- They all belong to Shakespeare and whoever his ancestors are nowadays! I wish I could own Iago though… he's funky and evil!!!
A/N2: If you are offended by the depraved and rude then I advise you don't read this…… also if your offended by just about everything in the world then I also advise you don't read this. One for those with a warped sense of humour!
Finally lets get this monster going! ONWARD!!!
Cast:
Othello- Oth
Desdemona- Des
Iago
Roderigo- Rod
Brabantio- Bra –Sniggers-
Duke Of Venice- Duke
Gratanio- Gra
Lodovico- Lodo
Montano- Mon
Cassio
Clown
Bianca
Emilia
Random other people!
Act 1 Scene 1:
Rod: I hate Othello!! He stole my girl!!!
Iago: Me TOO!!! He's a bastard who denied me my rightful position and gave it to that wanker Cassio!
Rod; then why follow him you idiot!
Iago: I follow him so I can do him in! I ain't that I seem mate!
(Bit Later)
Iago: OI BRABANTIO!!!! YOUR DAUGHTERS SHACKED UP WITH SOME OLD BLACK EEZER AND THEIR MAKING OUT LIKE IT'S GOING OUTTA FASHION!!!!!!!!
Bra: YOU FUCKING LIAR!!! I'll see you hanged for such Blaspemy!!
Rod: He ain't bloody lying!! I swear to you on my honour as a gentleman!
Bra: Right I'm convinced!!…… Get after the thieving shit!!!!! Onward men!
Iago: Right I'm outta here!! This is where you'll find them! Bye –Skips off evilly-
Rod: Ah man! Why do I get the shitty jobs!!
Act 1 Scene 2
Iago: Roderigo's been slagging you off again….. I only just stopped myself from killing the shit!
Oth: Oh who gives one! Let him be, for I am in love and therefore don't gives a rats plague-infested arse!
Iago: Hey someones coming…. Oh it's only Cassio!
Cassio: You're wanted by the Duke!
Oth: 'Kay –Shrugs-
Iago: Here comes Brabatio!!!
Bra: You Bloody bastard son of a fucktart thief!!! (A/N: Thanks Johnny!)
-Blades are drawn-
Oth: Hey NO FIGHTING!!!! No isn't the time!!!
Bra: You sodding MAN-WHORE!!! YOU STOLE MY DAUGHTER!!!!
Oth: Let's settle this at the Dukes! I've been summoned there anyway!
Bra: Fine Slag….. Lets go!
Act 1 Scene 3
Duke: This is a load of BULLSHIT!!! –Throws letters into the fire-
-Enter Othello and Da' mob-
Council: Hi there Othello! We're knne deep in Turkish shit and we really need your help!!
Bra: NO GODDAMN WAY!!! He's stolen and abused my daughter using Witchcraft!! I WANT SOME PUNISHMENT!!!
Oth: The only witchraft I used was that of my words and tales! I love her and she'll loves e: Bring her in and she'll tell you herself!!
-Desdemona enters-
Des: I love him… Sorry Dad!
Bra: Bloody Bastard Child! I cannot change your mind though and must accept it!
Duke: Okay now that's settled Othello we need you to go Cyprus and beat the crap outta the Turks tonight!
Des: I want to go too!! I won't take no for an answer!!!
-Everyone looks nervous, nods and leaves bar Iago and Roderigo-
Rod: I want to DIE!!! Life suck and does Desdemona!
Iago: Don't be such a bloody TWAT!!! Save your money and when she grows bored of the old goat she'll be yours!
-Roderigo leaves-
Iago: -Sings- Gonna cause some Chaos, la la la la la la!!! Coz I am a bastard la la la la la la!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!