Title: Lost and Forbidden Dreams
Author: NoNo aka Nok-chan
Rating: R
Spoilers: No Spoilers complete AU
Disclaimer: Since I take that pills I know that I don't own France and Fallingborstel. So I think the same goes with Smallville. Unfortunatly
Feedback: Please! I'm starving for it. I need it... please...
Archival: sure why not. Just let me know.

A/N: Look! This is a dark fic. This fic will deal with violence, abuse, drugs, eating disorder and death (not the main figures... I guess). It will be pretty hard and (I hope) intense, so if you have problems with that please don't read it.

A/N 2: Thank Blackberry for the wonderful work of betareading. I adore you for that.

Summary: Chloe Sullivan, Lex Luthor and an unwanted marriage (I'm so bad at this)

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"Chloe! Chloe! Where the fuck are you? Get your slow-acting ass down here. NOW! "

Tiredly Chloe lifted the head.

"Don't you hear me, you lazy bitch? I have said you should come here immediately!"

Chloe let her head fall down again and pulled her legs a little bit closer at herself. For half an hour, she had been laying on the ground of her bathroom. Even if she had forced herself?), it would have been impossible for her to move. She was exhausted. Burnt-out. Like every time after one of her "attacks". She hated herself for it. She hated herself because every time if she was sad, or had a problem she had an "attack". It was simply stronger than her. Jaded Chloe closed the eyes. As soon as she had collected some strength again, she would go.

But still during her thoughts about it, the door flew up with a loud bang and foaming Milena stepped in the room.

"There you are. Didn't you hear me as I has called you? Oh yeah you'd hear me, but you give a shit about it! Didn't I told you to listen when I call you?"

Chloe jerked as a hand met her ear leaving a hot pain. She curled up closely so Milena couldn't hit some sensitive places.

"Haven't I told ..."

bash

"... you . "

bash

"– a thousand times"

bash

"– you have to fucking listening when I call?"

bash

Chloe bit on her lips so she wouldn't cry when Milena grapped her hair and raised her up.

"Is it so difficult? Is it so difficult? Are you too stupid to understand around this? "

She was shaken so strongly back and forth that she lost a handful of hair.

Finally, she opened the eyes and looked her stepmother Milena directly in the face. " I'm so sorry," she said weakly. "I did not want to annoy you. Forgive me. Please, forgive me. "Milena looked at her with a disgusted face and let go of her. She sank to ground and remained sitting.

"Have a look. How you look again. You look like shit!" Milena's voice was a full of sickness and disgust." Clean yourself and then come down. I have to discuss something with you. And we have guests, so try to look at least like a human. "

"Forgive me. I will hurry up. I'm so sorry," Chloe whispered to herself. The door was slammed and Chloe was alone again. "Forgive me. Forgive me."


"Daddy, she is so beautiful!"

"Right Chloe, Milena is very beautiful."

"Daddy, when I'm big will I be as beautiful as she is?"

"You are very beautiful now. Nobody is as beautiful as you."

"Do you think she will like me?"

"Of course, honey. Everyone likes you!"

"Will she play with me?"

"I think soy. Nevertheless, she is your new Mum."

"Will she leave, too?"

"No baby, she won't leave."

"I want her to love me, Daddy. I want a mummy who loves me, too."

After she had washed her face, Chloe tried to cover carefully the red bruises with makeup. if practice makes perfect' Chloe already won the championship in hiding. She learned how to put the Camouflage on without having to concentrate on the pain. It was as if she hid the pain with her bruises.

"I want her to love me Daddy. I want a mummy who loves me, too."

Chloe often thought of the day as her father had announced that "She would get a new Mum". Chloe had been so happy. She didn't know Milena, but she was glad that she would have a mother too. Like all other children in her kindergarden. It was like yesterday since her father had stepped with her in his living room. And there she was. Long, red hair, big brown eyes, tall, slim, elegant. She had smiled at Chloe and had glided a hand over her cheek.



"Hello. I am Milena. And you must be Chloe? "

Chloe had looked at her with big eyes and had hidden behind her father.

"Please don't fear me. We will get on well definitely." Gabe had laughed and had pushed Chloe forward a piece.

"You are ... Are you ... my ..."

Milena had smiled like an angel and taken Chloe in her arms.

"Yes, if you want to I'm your Mum."

Chloe had been happy. She finally had a mother and she was the most beautiful one of all. She didn't know her whether biological mother had also been beautiful. She hardly remembered her.Although, she was hardly away 2 years. But her father had explained to her that it was normal that she did not remember. Chloe was only three (according to Chloe, she was almost four, when her mother had packed her things and had disappeared into the night and fog. She did not know whether her mother had liked her or not. But she didn't believe it. After all, her mother had left. So Chloe wished herself a mother who loved her and stayed with her. After a while it wasn't so important anymore if it was her mother or not. She just wanted a mother. Everyone had one.

Sighing Chloe drove through her hair, smoothed her dress and made way downwards. It wasn't smart to let Milena keep waiting.

Lex looked round the library. It was not big, in his opinion, and not small; was meticulously furnished and every piece of furniture seemed to be selected with calculation. However, he doubted that the lady of the house ever had read one of the books. On the contrary she didn't seem to be stupid. However, it was another kind of the intelligence than one you earned by studying of books.

"What are we doing here?" asked Lex irritated. His father, who stood by the window turned around to him and looked at him even-tempered.

" As I've already said, I and Mrs. Sullivan have to announce something and it is of such importance that we require your and Ms. Sullivan's presence!

"So that there is somebody who pretends to be listening to you?" teased Lex. Lionel completely turned around and wanted to say (to judge after his look nothing good) something just as the door opened and Milena floated in. Behind her came a young thing, 17 perhaps 18 years old; moving slowly and rewording. She was small, blond short hair and had big blue eyes.

"Milena. At last! I had already feared you would have forgotten us." Lionel greeted charmingly and kissed Milena greeting on both cheeks.

"Oh, Lionel. You know how women are. Particularly young women, sometimes they take an eternity'in the bath room. Right, Chloe? "

The blond nodded only shyly and looked at the ground. Lionel stepped to her and gave her a kiss on the hand.

"Ms. Sullivan, It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Sullivan"

"Thanks. Likewise Mr. Luthor!"

"You know me?"

"Naturally. Everyone knows you." Chloe quietly answered without lifting her look of the ground.

"Then you must know my son Lex." Chloe nodded and lifted the head.

Lex almost jumped, because instead of looking shy to the ground like she did with the other, she looked him directly in the eyes. He rose and suggested a kiss on the hand.

"Ms. Sullivan."

"Mr. Luthor."

"Lex."

"Sorry?"

"Lex. My father is Mr. Luthor."

"Lex," repeated Chloe. But this time something indifferent resonated in her voice.

"If you are both willing to sit down, we start. How already said, we have to announce something," rustled Milena.

Chloe and Lex sat side by side on a couch and Lionel and Milena sat down towards them. After an insinuating look Lionel began:

"As you may both already know, Milena and I were thinking for a long time about a fusion of parts of LuthorCorp and parts of Sullivan Systems. But a unification is not as simple as it seems. Taxes are checked, authorities switch themselves on, there are questions which need not be asked. However, there is a simpler.

"And that would be?" asked Lex bored.

"A marriage! If shareholders of LuthorCorp and Sullivan Systems marry, the fusion is practically only a formality."

"You want to marry? Warm congratulations and all luck of the earth. But what do I have to do with it?" asked Lex and he didn't seem a nuance more interested.

"Warm congratulations," said Chloe and was actually able to wring a smile.

"Thanks, but ... I'm a little too old for a marriage. And also Milena is not bent to the marriage any more. Which is in complete contrast to the both of you'? You know, if I think about it that you both are in a secret relationship for such a long time and now at least, when you are ready to make it official an public ... Milena and I are the last who would stand in you way. Milena and I liked the idea of you both together since you first met ... Where did they met Milena?"

"They met on a charity ball. Chloe was sixteen and Lex twenty. It was love on the first sign."

"Of course, well you met on that charity ball and you fell in love but neither of you was ready to proclaim it for the whole world. But now you are and here we are!"

Lex jumped up. "No fucking way! Forget it. Whatever you have cobbled together there in your ill brains, it will not happen!"

"Sit down, Lex. Sit down now. Neither you nor Ms Sullivan have the right on objection. I do not know how looks with your little Chloe, but I cannot imagine that you would like to spend the next time behind grids. And this could absolutely happen. Imagine if somebody speaks by accident about some of your Little sins . Think of it. There are things which never come under the statute of limitations. "

"But ... but... it is here about us." Chloe took the floor. "About our life. Our future. Nevertheless, you cannot simply force us..."

"Shut up!" hissed Milena. "You have to do what I say to you. If you farther want to belong to the family, you should not irritate me rather. And where do you want to go? Here you will not remain. No day longer than necessary. And without money, without family, without home? What want you to do? To friends? You cannot. Or do you recently have some? Not the fact that I knew. You are alone and you belong to me and you will do what I regard as correct. "

Chloe collapsed and could suppress only with effort the pressure to run out and to flee in one of her attacks.

"The press release has already gone this morning to the planet and various other newspapers. Milena herself, has written an indeed sentimental text about secret love and big Happy End. Naturally the information came officially from an employee of the house. In three days you are marry. Be prepared. "

Chloe threw a look to Lex. She hoped that he would say something. That he had something in his mind that would prevent this whole misery. But he looked at Lionel only with blazing eyes, rose and disappeared.

The next days passed terrifically quickly. Chloe hardly recognized what happened. Interview inquiries, dressmakers, Milena, who packed with a smile Chloe's things, Lionel around Milena. Lex studied Chloe with cold, heartless eyes. With a look Chloe already knew from Milena. Chloe, the vermin. Chloe the insect.

The day of the wedding

Chloe stood in the bath before the mirror and studied herself. Again she took with the hands water in the mouth, gargled and spat again. She had an attack again. And this time it had been a bad one. How in pictures Chloe saw the wedding once more passing herself.


She went like on cotton wool on the long way along the church step. Alone. As a bride without a father and without a man she could beg for substitute, she was forced to walk the way alone. She could see Lex at the end of the aisle. Through her veil everything looked a little bit blurred. However, it also covered her face so that nobody could see her reddish eyes. Chloe had wept the whole night and searched for a possibility of escape. She prayed for a possibility. There was none.

When she stepped to the altar, she saw that also Lex had reddish eyes had. But she doubted that he had cried. She had noted his mood fluctuations. Cheering at the one moment and insufferable at the next.. And she could well introduce herself where these mood fluctuations came from. How in a trance Chloe heard to herself giving her vow: "I do." How in trance she heard Lex saying his vow: "I do." And like through a wall she heard the priest, "I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride, my son. "
8
When she was 14 Chloe had dreamed sometimes of it; how it probably was to be married. She had planned her wedding day down to the smallest detail. Also how her future husband, carefully and lovingly lifted her veil and gave her a loving, fervent kiss to seal their love. Nothing had as been as she had wished for or dreamed of. And the kiss of Lex was hard ... punishing. He had pulled her firmly to him. The grasp had almost hurt. Then he had pressed his lips icily against theirs and had robbed her almost of her ability to breathe. Then he had pushed her off himself, had taken her arm and walked with her the way down the aisle. Through cheering and applauding people... The most people Chloe hadn't ever seen.

Tiredly Chloe put down the water-tap and carefully touched her swollen lips. So that's the way her life would be. Hard, cold... a punishment. It had not changed a lot. When she turned her head a little, she saw Lex. He stood in the door and observed her. His eyes were dark and the rims of the eye made red as before. Also his nostrils were red.

"What do you want?" asked Chloe unfriendly and turned away herself again.

"I have been looking for you. The guests are asking where the bride is," answered Lex. He sounded hollow and far away. Chloe watched him in the mirror like he entered and closed the door behind himself. He stepped behind her and observed her face furthermore by the mirror.

"You have found me. What do you still want. Do you need a refill of your little moodllifter"

"Oh Chloe, Chloe, Chloe, Chloe; you are not stupid at all. Not at all stupid," he lightly laughed. "Now we are bound together for the time. At least on paper. Who knows for how long..."

Chloe did not answer. Instead she watched in the mirror how Lex his hand lifted and with the thumb, gently, almost lovingly glided above her lips. Then he took her chin between two fingers.

"I was a little hard to you. I didn't want to scare you, little Chloe. I did not think of how innocent you still are."

"Not as innocent as you may think."

Lex laughed once again, but Chloe could not point whether he was surprised or did not believe her.

"So, not as innocent as I may think. And then what are you doing here Chloe? If you don't hide. If you do not wait for the moment that the guests are away. So that you can hide in your room. Till we depart tomorrow."

Chloe closed the eyes with the thought of it. Tomorrow she would have to leave her home. The only home that she had ever known.

"Oh, nevertheless, it will not be as terrible as it is already. I will try to be from this point a little nicer to you."

"Nice! How wonderful. If this is so this will be a lot of fun. An enormous enjoyment," quibbled Chloe.

"Pleasure? No. I don't believe that. We can have fun Chloe, but this marriage will not be pleasurable.' Do you want fun Chloe?"

"With my wonderful husband who is just so high that he could kiss the moon on his knees? Do you not credit you there a little bit too much?"

Lex did not answer. Instead he took the hand which had remained on her face and glided with the forefinger over her neck and her collarbone. Chloe watched him as his hand moved lower and he took her left breast firmly.

"Milena is a beautiful woman. But I am certain under all this pain and all this frustration, there is something that you have to offer that our dear mother never could. What you think, Chloe? What have you have to offer?"

Chloe swallowed. She did not move, but neither did she resist as Lex buried his face in her neck and licked her pulse point.

"Hmmm, vanilla. You smell of vanilla my sweet bride."

Chloe was conflicted. On the one hand she abhorred Lex. She despised how he looked at her, how he talked with her. His obvious relationship to the modern pharmaceutical industry . On the other hand, the way he touched her right now, did something within her. She could not tell whether it felt good or bad. And whether she wanted to give in.

"What do you want Lex?" she asked weakly.

"Is this not quite clear? It is our wedding night, my treasure."

"I know." Lex let go of Chloe's breast and reached for her hip. He pulled her firmly at himself. Chloe pressed the eyes shortly together and then reopened them.

"I can't. Let go of me... I can't... I don't want...!"

"You are sure?"

She could feel on her skin how Lex grinned.

"I'm certain!" Chloe freed herself, turned round and looked at him sharply in the eyes. Then she lowered her look again, turned round and darted from the bathroom. Lex looked at her. Smiling. She wasn't so far. This was okay. He would still receive his pleasure. Thank God for bridesmaids.