"Darkness Approaches"
I shut my eyes,
Commanding myself to turn
From the thoughts that haunted
Me...but they went on...
His face, his hands...the
Whole thing played in my
Memory...
Over and over, torturing me...
I could not escape.
Though I had left him,
Left the whole scene,
I could not get away...
I recoiled into a place of
Darkness...not wanting to
Go on and face my ruined
Life...
I was imprisoned...
Imprisoned in my own mind...
"A Dark Light"
She came in a dark rain,
Dripping and sorrowful.
Her eyes pleaded for help, but
Her lips said nothing...
She looked lost, rejected,
Like she had no one in the world
To turn to. I felt like I was
Looking at myself when I was
Younger...but she wasn't me...
...and there she was.
Only, she looked different.
Instead of the lost, rejected eyes,
I saw hardness, coldness, and Hate.
Hate burning like a hot coal...
Hate for someone who had
Deeply hurt her...
The same Hate
I had...
Not so long ago...
"What there Once was will Never Be"
Sitting in my world so black
I close my eyes, remembering back
In this vision I see you and me
But what there once was will never be
I looked into your eyes to see
The warmth of friendship always there
But what I saw did not comfort me
I felt a stab in my heart
As you walked away
I closed my eyes, suppressed my tears
For crying had become on of my worst fears
In my mind I can see
What there once was will never be
I walked away confused and hurt
You had looked at me like I was dirt
My heart was crushed; it
Broke and bled
I was among the
Living dead
I realized then my heart I must train
To feel no sorrow, feel no pain
Emotions felt for any friend
Can only bring a hurtful end
For if one thing I could clearly see
What there once was will never be
Now I open my eyes in my dark abyss
And I certainly know this:
I like the dark, the solitude,
The cold,
And I laugh out loud and strong
And bold
My heart is hard, icy, and thin
No one at all is allowed within
I care naught for you now
It doesn't matter to me
That what there once was
Will never
Be.
"Drowning in Dark Despair"
The black, cold wind
Swirling around me
Not again, don't take me there
To the land in my mind
Of Dark Despair
My eyes, they glow
My emotions flow
Unbridled, uncontrolled
Certain to kill me this time
Emotions that came from
My own crime
They tell me no,
It isn't so
I did all I could do
But if that's really true,
Then why am I lost without a clue?
Why do I keep returning there?
To the land in my mind
Of Dark Despair?
No one can reach me here
No one can see each tear
That as it falls upon the
Barren ground
Projects dark memories
Swirling 'round
I scream, I call,
But no one's there
I am drowning
In
Dark
Despair
"Their Worst Nightmare"
Walking down the darkened hall
-no! not there!
I try to stall
I concentrate to clear my mind
Afraid of what they might find
They round the corner
No! Go back!
I
silently call to the
Unsuspecting pack
I knew they'd come;
My powers let me know
And now my cursed powers
Are about to show
A wind blows hard,
My cloak swirls 'round
No! I beg, though I
Make no sound
The pack of girls
Scream with fear
Please! I beg, not now, not here!
Against my will, my unbridled
Powers
Make real their worst fears
That fall on them in
Showers
My eyes glow, I cannot control
Finally I stop, the girls, they
Flee
Casting hatred back at me
I am alone
In all my pain
Until it starts
All over
Again.
"Raven"
I wish I could cry,
Fall down on my knees
Give pain away
Share with someone my needs
But I cannot let them see
Until I find out if
There's a light in me
I'm only a girl
In a dark blue cloak
Grasping for
But never finding hope
Looking for the good in me...
But that's just something I cannot see
Sometimes I sit alone
In my room
Contemplating about my doom
My doom to be forever separate
From all those I love
I get so desperate
To find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
To find a way to be who
I want to be
But I cannot show emotion of any kind
For fear of unleashing the deadly powers
Of my mind
A prisoner I am kept
For freedom, all alone I've wept
But I will never be set free
Until I find a light in me...
"Freedom Carries Sacrifice"
They say to spread your wings
That growing up contains wonderful things
But they do not mention the pain
All they talk about is what you gain
To get out into the world
On your own
To be ripped from the place
Where you were sown
You cannot turn to your mother any more
No matter how much pain you endure
Secrets kept and wounds unattended
Your naivety and innocence has ended
When you reach your teenage year
They say "You have your freedom, dear!"
What you once knew is taken and replaced with fear
But "freedom" is all you hear
You learn not to trust
Your friends are filled with drugs and lust
You try to run to your family tree
But you cannot tell them because you're "free"
You realize now that you cannot tell
You don't want to drag them into your hell
You hide the wound, cover the scar
And soon they don't know who you are
They think they know, but they cannot see
Because you've learned what it means to be free
Remember this; there is a vice
Freedom carries sacrifice.
"Forget About Me"
When I am near him
I feel my emotions rise
I clear my mind
And close my eyes
The chances of emotions escaping
Are usually slim
But they rise when I'm near him
They struggle fiercely to be free
Whenever I find those green eyes
Looking at me
I remind myself
I must stay grim
Emotions of any kind
Can upset the balance of my mind
If that balance were to be broken
If my feelings were to be spoken
The world would know its end
And so I must turn from you
My friend
In your eyes I can see the hurt
I must remain hard and curt
I wish that I could tell you how I feel
But I don't know if the world could deal
If I were to let my emotions fly
I fear the world would surely die
I fear rejection in my heart
I fear that I will lose the part
Of you I have in being a friend
Will these fears ever end?
I must let go
Let no emotions show
Because when everything is gone
There's nothing there to fear
When all emotion is void
No one can get near
Is that what I really want?
Do I have a choice?
"No" states the voice
That is reason in my head
"If you show emotion, your friends will be dead"
So I block out the hurt I see
Hold it all inside of me
Until it disappears with all else
Leaving me by myself
Alone and unfeeling I must stay
And turn your loving gestures away
No feelings at all, no matter how slight
It is an eternal fight
Maybe someday I can find how
To let myself love without destruction
But not now;
It would not function
But wait, no,
It can never be
And so, my love, forget about me