Chapter Two: Angel's Memory, Anya's Baby, and Spuffy Has Sex

Later that afternoon, when school had let out, Xander was standing next to Riley's locker, so he could talk to Riley about this. He had already been asked a thousand times whether he was angry about Anya having someone else's baby. He could hardly believe it, still. He wanted to talk to Riles, to see what he thought about it. Riley was almost as good as Angel; he listened without judging. He tried to offer advice and other things of that nature.

Riley smiled wearily at him. Harmony was behind him, talking up a storm about something. She wouldn't shut up about her booth. He was glad that it pleased her, but he didn't want to hear about it anymore. He was glad that Xander was there, he could talk to him, and have an excuse to ask Harm if she would find Buffy and Faith or something. ''Harm, could you find Buffy or Faith? It looks like Xander needs to talk to me about something.''

Harmony nodded. ''Sure. I also have to find Anya and ask her if she wants to wear matching outfits, since she's helping me with my booth.'' She jetted off down the hall, smiling.

Xander smiled gratefully at him. ''Thanks. I needed to talk to you about this Anya thing. She is pregnant with someone else's child, Riles. What do I do? Should I go back out with her? I mean, I still love her. I just don't know if I'm ready to raise a child. We're seniors this year. This is supposed to be the best year of our lives! How could she do this?''

Riley said, ''I'm sure she wasn't planning this, Xand. She loves you, too. Maybe she got really drunk and the guy took advantage of her or something. She just didn't want to admit it or something. She just told you that she cheated on you, and that she's pregnant. There could be more to the story. What you need to do is have someone talk to her, find out the entire story. She'd tell one of the girls, I'm sure of it. Have Buffy talk to her.''

Xander considered this idea. It sounded like a very good idea. Buffy was a very good listener, and he was sure that after some coaxing, Anya would tell the girl the entire story. He decided to do this very thing. ''Thanks, Riles. I think I'll do that.'' He headed off down the hall to Buffy's locker. Faith was with her, but Xander didn't mind. Faith was trustworthy. ''Buff, can I ask you a favor?'' He asked.

Buffy looked up at Xander's approach. Spike had been talking to her about him earlier, expressing his concern that Xander was down in the dumps. He certainly looked it. She said, ''Sure, Xand, anything. You can ask me anything.'' He was one of her best friends. He and she had had a lot of fun when they were kids, and she could see a shadow of the young boy he'd once been in his eyes.

Xander asked, ''Could you talk to Anya for me? Find out the whole story with this pregnant thing? I have a thought that she didn't tell me the whole story.''

Buffy nodded. ''Sure, Xand. No problem. I'll go find her right this minute.'' She turned off to walk down the hall, after telling them both she'd see them later.

Faith was left with Xander, and she smiled wanly at him before starting to walk off down the hall. Xander called after her. She stopped and turned around. ''What?'' She asked, brushing her long black hair behind her. Over the last two years, she'd let her hair grow. It was down to her behind, and once sleek and gorgeous, it usually looked limp. It was always clean, she just didn't take care of it like she used to. Oz still loved her, though, and didn't seem to care what she looked like.

Xander asked, ''I loved him, too. I wish he was still here. He understood when no one else did. I wish that I could have him back. He really loved you, too, you know. I wish he had told you that in person just once before he died.''

Faith's eyes filled with tears. She hadn't thought about Angel in at least a couple of hours. She had been with Oz in the courtyard, making out. They hadn't done that in awhile. Usually they just hung out and did nothing together. Now she said, ''I know he loved me. I just wish that I had been able to help him before he died. He was ready to kill himself, and none of us knew. I wish I had been there for him, to help him in any way I could. But I wasn't. I was too wrapped up in my own stuff to even notice that was so moody and alone. It's all my fault he died, and I've got to live with the knowledge of that for the rest of my life.''

Xander's own eyes had filled with tears. ''It's not your fault. None of us knew what was going on with Angel because he didn't tell us. He didn't even tell Spike, or me. His two best friends. I knew that he needed Spike more than me after Cordy died, and that was fine. Spike knew more about Angel's love for Cordy than I ever would or would understand. Spike didn't even have a clue that Angel was that far gone. Trust me, in his deepest heart of hearts, Spike regrets that he wasn't able to help Angel. But he knows it's not his fault, and it's not yours, either. It's no one's fault but Angel's. He chose to take his own life, and none of us could have stopped him. So don't you blame yourself.'' He stepped closer, to hug her.

Faith sighed in Xander's embrace, and remembered when she had had a crush on him. It was eons ago, and she could hardly believe that she had ever felt that way, now that she had Oz, that is. She stopped, and let go. ''I need to go home, Xand. Thanks for talking to me. It's good someone else loves him as much as I do.'' She ran out of the door, and all the way home without having met up with Oz. It was OK, though, he'd show up here to make sure that she was OK.

She dashed up the stairs and into Angel's room. She had convinced her parents not to change it one iota. She wanted it to always be as Angel had left it. She often spent entire days here, just sitting on the blood-spattered bed and staring at the pools of blood stains on the floor. She kept Angel's suicide note in a secret box under her bed, and she always took it out when she sat in his room for long periods of time.

Now she got up to go get it, and went back into the room, and sat on his bed. It was all made up, just as Angel had left it, but it was covered in blood. She ran her hands over the stains, and tried to keep the tears back. There was a lump in her throat the size of Jupiter. She had loved her brother so much, since they were babies. She had felt so hurt when he'd begun bad-mouthing her all over town. It had mollified her a bit to know that he had just been trying to protect her, even if he had gone about in a bad way.

She took out Angel's book of poems he'd been working on. It was finished, he just hadn't added a forward or anything. He had left the very first page open for such a thing, and then never had written one. She opened it up, and took the pen from the desk. She began to write, the ideas bursting from her mind:

Dear Reader,

This book of poems was written by my twin brother Angel. He was a deep and poetic soul, even though outwardly, he was a major BMOC. He opened his true self a bit when he had the minister at his ex-girlfriend's funeral read the poem he'd written about her. You should have seen the looks on everyone's faces when they learned that a poem of such beauty was written by Angel Davenport, school jock. He killed himself not long after. That was two years ago, and now I'm a senior without my twin brother beside me. I have barely been functioning without him. He and I hadn't been close for awhile, and right before he died, we began to start hanging with the same crowd once again. I enjoy hanging with my new friends, they're wonderful, but I wish that I could have my brother back. He took his own life so he wouldn't be in pain any longer, but he left me here to be in pain forever more. There is just no pain like losing a twin, unless it's the pain of losing a child. I want to share his poetry with you, so you can see the kind of man he really was. He was a very mature young man, trapped in a sixteen year old's body. I hope you will treasure his poems always.

Faith Desiree Davenport

She closed the notebook, and clutched it close to her heart. It had splatters of blood on the back of it, because Angel had held it in his blood-covered hands as he had laid there, waiting to die. She sighed and got up to go to Angel's desk. She knew that there had to be some manilla envelopes in there....

While Faith was trying to preserve her brother's memory, Buffy was at Anya's, talking to her about Xander. She was trying to coax the truth out of her. ''Anya, do you want to talk about what really happened with your pregnancy? You obviously want to.'' Buffy coaxed.

Anya sighed. She really did want to. She was aching to tell someone the whole horrible problem. She said, ''Well, it happened in June, right after school let out. I was at UC Sunnydale, at Riley's brother's frat house. It was a ragin' party. You and the rest of the gang were there, I had just lost you guys. Spike was telling some story in the backyard the last time I'd seen any of you, and when I went back to see if you all were still there, you weren't. So I went back in the living room, and found this friend of Jason's that Jase had introduced me to earlier.''

''He was a really nice guy. He had been talking to me all night, when Xander had been ignoring me. I enjoyed being in his company. By this time, however, he was drunk off his ass, and being very obtuse. He forced me to go upstairs with him, and had his way with me. After that, he passed out, and I slipped out before he woke up, before he could do anymore damage. The following week, I was late for my period, so I took the test. Then I went to a doctor to confirm. I am now four months pregnant, and it's another man's child. I can't tell Xander, but it's a miracle that I haven't shown more than I have.'' Anya stopped, taking a deep breath.

Buffy tried to keep her gasp in. ''I'm sorry, Anya. You have to tell Xander. He still loves you a lot. He wants to be with you. If he knew the circumstances, I'm sure that he would be with you. Xander is a stand up guy, Anya.''

Anya shook her head. ''No way. I won't put him through that. He shouldn't have to raise a child that isn't his. If I even decide to keep it. I will most likely be giving it up for adoption. I didn't tell him the true circumstances for a reason. I knew he would still want to be with me, and make me press charges. I just want it to go away.''

Buffy said, ''Xander won't make you press charges, though. I think that Xand'll be very supportive, more than you think, Anya.''

Anya nodded. ''I know that he'll be supportive. I'm not worried about it. I just want to keep him away because it's not his baby, and if I do decide to keep it, I don't want him to have to worry about it. It's not fair to him, especially since we're supposed to graduate this year.''

Buffy looked at her watch. She was supposed to be meeting Spike at her own house. ''I hate to cut this short, An, but I've got to meet Spike. If you need to talk about this some more, you can call me anytime.'' She gave the other girl a hug and headed out the door.

When she got to her home, Spike was waiting for her on the front porch. ''You're late, luv.'' He told her, grinning.

She made a face at him. ''Sorry. I was talking to Anya. Xander asked me to because he wanted to know the whole deal with this pregnant thing.'' She slipped her arms around her boyfriend and leaned in for a long, passionate kiss.

Spike was flustered at the end of it. ''You can be late anytime you want, just as long as you kiss me like that when you are.''

Buffy laughed and took his hand as she turned to let them in with her key. She opened the door, and wondered where her mom and her sister Dawn were. Dawn was a twelve year old who had just moved in the year before. (She had lived with their grandparents before that. When their dad had died, when she was just a year old, Joyce Summers had been too distraught to take care of a baby and Buffy. She had grown up there liking it, and had never asked to come home. Then their grandparents wanted to go out and travel and what have you, so she moved back home.) She was in the seventh grade at school, and Buffy wasn't too happy to have her in the house. She and Dawn didn't get along. She loved her sister, but Dawn was going through her terrible teens, and she'd started a year early.

Spike asked, ''Where's Li'l Bit?'' He had taken a liking to Dawn, and Dawn had taken a liking to him. They got on famously. He thought she was a precocious little girl. Dawn had a crush on him, and wouldn't want to know that he thought of her as a little girl.

Buffy shrugged. ''I have no idea. If she's home, she's up in her room. She's been hanging out with this one boy quite a bit, so she might be at his house.''

They went upstairs, to see, and no, she wasn't in her room. Further investigation proved that Joyce wasn't home, either, so they settled in to Buffy's bedroom. They had been dating for two years, but hadn't made love yet. Spike loved Buffy enough that he wanted to make sure she was the one before having sex with her, and Buffy hadn't had sex at all with anyone. They sat down on Buffy's bed. Spike kissed her. ''Are you ready?'' He asked, his accent never sounding sexier to her.

Buffy nodded. ''Yes, I am. Let's do it.'' They laughed briefly at her choice of words, and then got right down to the kissing...............