Chapter Three: Xander's Suicide Attempt

The next morning, the gang congregated outside the school, in the front courtyard. Buffy and Spike were the first to get there, and they were making out when Harmony and Anya showed up. ''Don't stop on our account.'' Anya said dryly.

Buffy and Spike broke apart, Spike grinning and Buffy wearing a deep blush. ''Sorry, you guys. Spike and I aren't patient. We found a way to fill the time.'' She giggled as Spike tickled her.

Anya sat down beside them, and Harmony on the other side of her. ''I'm grateful for our talk yesterday, Buffy. It really helped me out.'' She said, and gave the girl an awkward hug. While Buffy, Harm, and Faith gave Anya hugs, Anya didn't usually give them hugs back.

Buffy accepted it, and hugged her back. ''No problem, An. Just doing my job as your friend.'' She quickly changed the subject, before Harmony got curious and asked what they were talking about. ''So, everybody ready for this weekend?''

Anya readily agreed. ''You betcha. I am anxious to get all the cash. Well, not all the cash. Half of it. Harmony should get some, after all, she is making the jewelry.'' She enjoyed money, whether it be making it or spending it.

Spike said, ''Did any of you lot talk to Xander yesterday? He was really messed up since you broke up with him, Anya. I'm not judging or anything, but you should get back together with him. You really should. He loves you.''

Anya said, ''I don't want any pressure, OK? This is my senior year, and I am pregnant. I have to decide whether to keep the baby or put it up for adoption. That is a lot on my plate. I don't want to have to worry about Xander, too. Just let me mull over things, OK?'' She really was confused as to what to do. She loved Xander, but if she was keeping this baby, then she wouldn't want him to give up his life for a baby that wasn't his.

Riley, Faith, and Oz joined them. Riley gave Harmony a kiss. ''Hey, you guys. What's going on?'' He patted Spike on the back and kissed Anya and Buffy on the cheek.

Spike asked, ''Have you seen Xander this morning? Is he coming to school?'' He was truly worried about his friend, and just wanted to make sure he was alright.

Riley shook his head. ''No, man, I haven't. I assumed he would call if he needed us, and I didn't want to seem like I was pressuring him, so I didn't call. I wonder where he is?''

Xander was where he could let all of this out to someone understanding: Angel's grave. He was going to spill everything to his best friend, because he knew that he would listen. After all, where was he going, really? He was pretty much stuck here. ''Angel, there is some messed up shit going on right now. Anya is pregnant with some other guy's kid, and because of that, she broke up with me. Buffy talked to her for me, and I don't really know what happened. I have to talk to her. She's at school right now, so I can't ask her. But I'm so in love with Anya. I just wish that she hadn't broken up with me. I don't want things to end with us. I am just so comfortable with her.''

He stopped for a moment while he wiped tears from his face. He was feeling a little better, getting things off his chest, but he was still very upset about Anya's pregnancy. He could hardly believe it. He understood now why she had broken up with him, but he didn't have to like it.

After another hour of telling everything to Angel, he felt much better, and decided to go to school. He had a note his uncle wrote out that explained he'd been feeling sick that morning, but it had been determined that he felt well enough to come for the afternoon classes. It didn't matter. Xander had filled his schedule up with electives, so he would have something to occupy his time.

When he got to school, he knew that it was time to go hang out with Spike in the Quad. He parked his car and went out to the back courtyard. Spike was sitting with Faith, and they looked like they were having a pretty intense conversation. ''Guys, you don't mind if I interrupt, do you?'' He asked, giving them a weary smile.

Faith smiled just as wearily back and wiped tears from her face. ''Hey, Xand. What's going on?'' She asked, laying back on the bench and sighing.

Xander sat down next to Spike and leaned back. ''I just came back from Angel's grave. I was telling him all the crazy stuff that's been going on.''

Faith was surprised. ''I thought I was the only one in the group who went to see Angel. I'm glad that someone else is.'' She said, smiling happily.

Buffy joined them, even though she was supposed to be in class. ''Hey, you guys. Hey, Spikie.'' She said, leaning down to give Spike a long kiss.

Spike grinned happily at her. ''Hey, Buffy. Aren't you supposed to be in Art History with Anya and Willow?'' He asked.

Buffy nodded and sat down on his other side, and patted Faith's foot in greeting. ''Well, it was cancelled. Anya wanted to come with me, but she thought Xand might be here, so she went to find Harmony. Willow went to hang with Tara.''

Speaking of the devils, they walked past with another senior, Lucas Michaels. He didn't look at all happy to be with them. He looked like he was one of the popular crowd, John Jacob's group. They had been the new "it" group for almost two years, when John had surpassed Spike as the biggest BMOC. Will and Tara waved at Buffy and her friends.

Faith waved, and said, ''Willow and Tara with Luke Michaels? What's going on there?'' She asked, adjusting her bookbag better underneath her head.

Xander knew this one. ''I talked to Will yesterday, and she said that she and Tara are tutoring the jocks, so they can stay on their respective teams.''

Spike smirked. ''Yeah, let's keep the blokes happy and on their damn teams.'' He was not a big fan of sports anymore, even though if he'd wanted to, he could play any sport better than any of the players on its perspective team.

Buffy giggled. ''Really. But Spike, don't you miss it? Scoring the baskets, running the tds?'' She had wondered why Spike had just all of a sudden given up all the sports he'd been playing.

Her boyfriend shook his head. ''Nah. I was wasting my life, worrying about playing all that junk. I now have more time for my writing and you, luv.'' He kissed her, and she kissed back.

Xander sighed, and Spike immediately stopped being so lovey-dovey. He could tell that Xander was missing Anya a lot, and he didn't want to hurt his friend. Xand said, ''I'm gonna go find Riles, you guys.'' He got up, blowing kisses at the girls.

Buffy said, ''Poor Xander. I hope that he's going to be able to fix things with An. She still loves him, she's just dating Devon to get over him.''

When the school day was over, the entire gang met again in the front courtyard. Rupert Giles, Spike's father, was walking by when he caught Spike with his tongue down Buffy's throat with his peripherial vision. He didn't say anything, just smiled to himself. He was glad that Spike was happy. He had had much better marks the past year and a half. Giles was proud of his son.

Harmony walked towards the group, tears filling her eyes. She had something to report, and it wasn't good. When she reached Buffy and Spike's side, she said, ''You guys, is Anya here yet?''

Spike was going to reply with a sarcastic barb, but at the look on Harm's face, he stopped himself. ''What's wrong, Harm?'' He asked.

Harmony took a deep breath. ''Well, I was just on the second floor, and I was getting ready to go in the bathroom, when I heard some noises coming from the boys' room. I stopped outside the doorway. I heard someone say Xander's name, so I went in. He was lying on the floor in front of the stalls, and he had slits in both wrists. It didn't look good. The ambulance is on its way now.''

Her friends gasped, as Faith, Oz, and Riley joined them. ''What's going on, you guys?'' Faith asked, her hand in Oz's.

Harmony repeated the whole story as she went to Riley's side. ''You guys, I'm really worried about this. Xander could be dead.''

Buffy wiped tears from her eyes. ''OK, you guys, Xander is not dead. We can't think that way.'' She began to cry on Spike's shoulder.

They waited for Anya and Devon, and watched as the EMTs hurried into the school. Kids streamed out of the building in droves, talking about Xander's attempt at suicide. Lucas Michaels and John Jacobs walked by, smirking. ''Hey, freaks, worried about your freak friend?'' Luke called, and he and John laughed as they joined Amy, John's girlfriend.

Spike was held back by Riley and Oz as he forcefully tried to get over to them, so he could pound their faces in. ''They're making jokes, when Xander's life could very well be over! It's so heartless!''

Faith said softly, ''They didn't make fun of us when it was Angel.'' She was taking this very hard, and they all knew she was just remembering her feelings about when he had died.

Anya and Devon joined them just as Xander's still body was being taken down the walk to the ambulance. Anya's eyes immediately filled with tears as she cried, ''What happened?''

Buffy tearfully filled her in as Devon slipped his arms around her. He truly liked her, and thought maybe he could have found the one, and she was still in love with Xander Harris. He still liked the guy, it wasn't his fault that Anya had dumped him so terribly. Devon hoped that Xand made it through this. He couldn't be dead, he just couldn't.........................

They all went to the hospital, and they all had to wait in the waiting room as he was rushed to the ER. Anya sat in a chair off by herself and wouldn't let anyone comfort her as they waited for news of her beloved Xander..............................................