Chapter Four: Spuffy: To Be Pregnant, Or Not To Be Pregnant
It had been a couple of hours, and still no word. Anya was beside herself with grief, as if Xander had already died. Buffy and Harmony were trying to comfort her. Faith would have been, but she was just as upset, and Oz was comforting her. They were all very tired and worn out.
Spike was pacing a bit aways, by himself, and he looked like he was wrestling with something. He was very upset about Xander, true, but he had gotten a letter the other day that told him he had been accepted into the University of London. It was a full scholarship. He was very surprised, because for all of freshman year and part of his sophomore year, his marks were terrible. But all the years before that and after, they were great. He had worked his ass off to get where he was today. The only problem was, he would have to leave Buffy if he went. He knew that she hadn't applied to the university, she probably had applied to UC Sunnydale, just like the rest of their friends. He had also applied, and he had also gotten in there. He had used it as his safety school. He hadn't even been thinking that he would actually get accepted, so he hadn't even thought that he would have to leave Buffy.
He was very worried about this. His father would want him to go to U of L, and he could understand why. His father wanted what was best for him, and he understood that. He just, he knew that Buffy was the love of his life, his soulmate. He was not going to lose any time with her. He just, oh, how he'd love to go to school in London. He hadn't seen it for so long.
Buffy left Harmony to comfort Anya and got up to join Spike. He looked upset. She said, ''Spike, Xand's going to be OK. We're not going to lose him. We have to believe that.'' She kissed his cheek.
Spike decided now was a good time to tell her. ''Um, Buffy, I got accepted into the University of London. Full scholarship.''
Buffy was floored. She had known that he had applied, but she hadn't actually thought that he might get in. Not because she didn't think that he wasn't intelligent, it was just impossible to get in. ''Are you going to go?'' Her heart was in her throat.
Spike took her hands in his own. ''I don't know. I have been agonizing about it. I don't want to leave you, but I've always wanted to go to university in London.''
Buffy said, ''I don't want to tell you what to do. But Spike, we're forever. I won't stop you from going to London if you want to go. I got accepted into UC Sunnydale, so that's where I'll be going.''
Spike shrugged. ''I don't know what I want to do. I don't want to leave you for four years. I love you so much, I don't know if I could be apart from you for so long.''
Buffy said, ''Spike, you can go to school in London if you want. I don't want to keep you from getting a good education.'' She wanted to say that they could get engaged or something, but she wasn't sure how he would take that.
It turned out Spike was thinking the same thing. ''Buff, I have a question to ask you. Will you marry me?'' He smiled at her.
Buffy shrieked, surprising their friends. ''Yes, Spike, yes!'' She squealed, hugging him and almost knocking him over.
That settled, they went back to their friends. Harmony pulled Buffy aside to ask her what had happened. ''Buff, what was the squeal for?'' She asked.
Buffy said, ''Spike and I are engaged!'' She and Harmony both squealed and gave each other hugs. ''I'm just so happy. I feel bad for being so happy, 'cause Xand could be dying in there, but I'm just, I'm engaged!'' She squealed again.
The doctor came out of the ER and said, ''Are you all waiting for Alexander Harris?'' He asked, standing in front of them all.
Spike had been voted the spokesman of the group. ''Yes, we are, Doc. Do you have some news for us?'' He asked, casually slipping his arm around Buffy.
The doctor replied, ''Alexander is resting in his room. We gave him a blood transfusion to replace the blood that he lost, and he will be waking up from the sedatives any moment now. I would like to request that only family members see him. We haven't been able to contact his parents, so if any of you know an alternative number to reach them, it would be most helpful.''
Spike spoke up again. ''His parents are out of town, but I have his mum's mobile number in case of emergencies.'' He whipped out a piece of paper from a pad in Harm's purse and wrote it down. The doctor thanked them and left.
Buffy knelt by Anya. ''See, An, I told you that Xand would be fine.'' She gave her friend a hug. ''I have to get home to Dawn. Mom would kick my ass if she wasn't out of town. So I'll see you all later.'' She gave Spike a lingering kiss and walked out to her car.
When she got home, Dawn was sitting on the couch, looking pissed. Buffy was afraid of that. ''Hey, Dawnie.'' She said resolutely, and entered the house.
Dawn got up from the couch and addressed her sister. ''Mom said that while she was out of town, you were supposed to take care of me.'' She said angrily.
Buffy nodded. ''I realize that, Dawn. However, you are twelve years old, and can be trusted to be alone for a little while. I had to go to the hospital, one of my friends tried to kill himself. He's going to be OK, though, so I thought that I would come home. He's going to be waking up soon, and I can't see him until tomorrow anyway. The doctor requested only family. So, do you want some dinner? I can make some Blue Box.'' Dawn loved mac and cheese.
Dawn figured she could forgive Buffy, since one of her friends was in trouble. ''Yeah, I haven't eaten yet. You look happy for someone who's friend just tried to kill himself. What happened at that hospital?''
Buffy was actually happy to tell her. ''Spike and I are engaged!'' She squealed happily. ''He was telling me about getting accepted into the University of London, and he just asked me if I wanted to marry him. He might go away to school there, and it would make it so much easier for us to handle it if we're committed for real, so we're engaged. I'm going to UC Sunnydale, so if he goes to London, we won't see each other except during breaks.''
Dawn was upset by the idea that Spike wouldn't be there. He lived just down the street, and was available whenever she needed him. If he was in London, that would be harder to do. ''He's going to go to school in London?'' She asked, sitting down at the island.
Buffy put the pan on to boil the water. ''It's not definite yet, Dawn, but it will be OK if he goes. It's not like he's moving there permanently. Maybe after we get married, but that's not for a long time. So don't let's worry about it, OK?'' She smiled at her sister and changed the subject.
Spike had left not long after Buffy. His friend would be fine, and they had finally reached his parents by calling the mobile number. He was driving around in his car, and he was still running the idea of him going to school in London in his mind. He couldn't believe that he was actually thinking about doing it. Maybe Buffy could apply to some smaller schools in London, and that way they could still be together. He'd have to mention it to her.
Spike pulled into his driveway and was not liking the idea of telling his father about getting into the University. He knew that Rupert would want him to go to school there instead of UC Sunnydale. He went inside and found his father preparing supper. ''Hey, Rupert.'' He said, dropping his keys and jacket on the hall table and chair, respectively.
Rupert Giles, usually called Giles, said, ''Hello, William. How was school today? Why are you so late getting home?''
Spike had forgotten to call his father, telling him when he'd be home. ''I'm sorry, Rupert. Xander had to go to the hospital. He tried to kill himself. I'm sorry that I didn't call.''
Giles was astonished. ''Goodness. Is he alright? He didn't succeed, then?'' He stirred the spaghetti noodles in the pan.
Spike smiled to himself. His father was so very English. ''No, Rupe, he's fine.'' He started across the kitchen. ''I've got some calls to make before dinner. Let me know when you've finished.''
He let himself into the den and called Willow. He thought she and Tara should know what had happened with Xander. Willow, at least. She had grown up with him, too. Will answered on the first ring. ''Hullo, luv. It's Spike.'' He said, getting comfortable.
Willow Rosenburg smiled. She was glad that Spike was calling, even though she and Tara had been having some fun. ''Hey, Spike. What's going on?'' He hadn't called in awhile. None of the others, either. Will suspected that they were just busy.
Spike said, ''Will, Xander's in the hospital tonight. He tried to kill himself. He and Anya broke up a few months ago, and since then, he's been really depressed. She told him that they couldn't ever be together ever again. You might have heard that she's pregnant with someone else's child. It's been all around the school.''
Willow gasped. ''He's OK, though, right? That's awful! And yes, I've heard the rumors. I didn't pay them any attention, though, because Anya's really a nice girl when you finally get to know her.''
Spike said, ''Well, in any case, Xand's fine physically. The doc's probably going to suggest to his mum and dad that he get some help. I think that you and Tara should go and see him tomorrow after he's woken up. He'd like it, I bet. What do you think, pet?'' He asked.
Willow quickly agreed. ''You bet, Spike. I will gladly see him tomorrow.''
They chatted a bit more, and then Giles was calling Spike for dinner. He said good-bye and remembered to tell her to talk to Buffy if she wanted some really good news.
The following morning was Friday, and Spike woke up feeling refreshed and really happy. Nothing could put him in a bad mood. Xander was going to get help, Spike was sure of it, and he was awake and lucid and everything. Spike had no worries about Xand.
When he got downstairs, Buffy was eating breakfast with his father. Spike grinned. ''Morning, pet.'' He leaned down to give her a kiss.
Buffy kissed him back and then took another bite of eggs. ''You're not even dressed, Spike. You're going to be late for school.'' She admonished.
Spike glanced at his robe and boxers. ''Yeah, I realize that, pet, but I did as you suggested I do, lay out my clothes last night. So at least I know what I'm wearing.''
Buffy got up to put her dishes and Giles' in the sink. ''OK, well, I've been telling Giles all about us being engaged, and he's very happy about it, aren't you, Giles? He was happier when I told him we weren't actually going to be getting married until after college, right, Giles?'' She was way too bubbly and talkative for Spike.
Giles nodded. ''Spike, you've got yourself quite a girl here. And I was wondering when you were going to tell me that you were engaged.'' He spoke with a stern voice, but when Spike glanced at him, he could see the smile on his face and the twinkle in his eye.
Spike nodded. ''I know, Rup.'' He was pouring some juice, and noticed that his father had called him ''Spike''. He never had before. It was very strange. He had always refused to.
Spike finished knocking back the OJ and dashed up the stairs to get dressed. He threw on a pair of Gap jeans, and a plain black tee that Buffy had bought him from Old Navy as part of his last birthday present. He slipped on his sneakers and grabbed his leather duster, (which he had bought by impluse, he'd never owned anything of the sort before.) leaving his room. He had to dash back in because he had forgotten his notebook and his English book.
Buffy was waiting downstairs. He hadn't really paid too much attention to her when he had first gotten up. She looked amazing. Her long blonde hair was pulled up in a cascade of curls, and she wore a long, ankle-length jeans skirt. She topped this off with a gauzy peasant top and black suede boots. She had a purse slung over her shoulder, and Spike knew that held books. ''Hey, Spikie. Ready to go?'' She asked, giving him a smile.
Spike gave her a deep kiss. ''Oh my God, Buff. You look very hot today.'' He slipped his hand into hers. He was the luckiest guy on the planet.
Buffy smiled, and she was jubliant on the inside. She had dressed fabulously on purpose. She had thought that he would like it. Spike had been a little distracted lately, worrying about this college thing, and she had wanted to give him something to focus on. ''Thanks, Spike.''
When they reached school, Xander's attempted suicide was still the only thing on people's minds. Buffy got tired of people asking about it, with sneers on their faces. Anya started telling people off. She had to be dragged away by Harmony and Buffy, so she wouldn't beat the crap out of one of the popular cheerleaders. They didn't care if the girl got beat up, they just didn't want her to hurt the baby.
By the time lunch rolled around, Harmony, Buffy, and Anya all had detention after school, and Spike, Riley, and Devon were well on their way, having gotten into twenty fights between them. Buffy and Faith sat down at their lunch table, joining the others. ''I am so tired of being ridiculed.'' Buffy said, opening her Diet Pepsi Vanilla.
Riley nodded. ''If I have to beat the crap out of another jock today, I'm going to lose the feeling in my hands.'' He handed his own Pepsi to Harmony to open for him.
Buffy asked, ''Can you guys believe that we were ever once more popular than they are? Were we really like that? I for one, am so glad that our group isn't one of those groups anymore.'' There was a murmur of agreement at their table.
Willow and Tara stopped by on their way to their own table. ''Are you guys hanging in there OK? We wanted to make sure. We both have been being attacked about Xand all day.''
Faith nodded. ''You bet we're OK. We've been being attacked, but we've been fighting back. Buffy, Harm, and Anya have detention for getting in screaming matches with cheerleaders.''
Willow got excited about this, and she and Tara sat down for a minute. ''I didn't, but Tara got into a fist fight with Reese D'Angelo. She was taunting Tara about Xander, and then when that failed to get under her skin, she started in on the lesbian thing. Tara just lost control and started whaling on her. She was yelling about how everyone in this school needs some humility, and some tolerance. She just kept yelling stuff on that same line until Principal Flutie had to intervene. It was so awesome.''
Everyone looked with awe at Tara. Tara was normally a very quiet girl, and always had been. She blushed. ''Well, she was being horrible.''
After some more light chatting, the couple got up and headed off to their own table. Buffy said, ''I can't believe that Tara got into a fight with Reese D'Angelo.''
Riley said, ''I can, that girl has some fire in her when it has been aroused.'' He took a huge bite of his burger.
Spike turned to Riley. ''Riles, guess what? Jason called me to tell me that he's having a major party at UC Sunnydale for your graduation. You're supposed to call him if you want to invite anyone besides the usual gang. I also told Will and Tara, and they said that they were going to come, too. That's all right, isn't it?''
Riley nodded. ''Sure. Will and Tara don't look like it, but they're awesome partiers. I won't have a party or go to a party unless they're invited.'' He tucked into his burger.
After lunch, the gang headed off to class. Spike and Buffy were hanging out in the lobby after the bell rang, trying to decide whether they wanted to leave the grounds and go have some fun, or just go hang out in the back courtyard as usual. Spike had decided to skip history that day. He'd already done all his homework until the end of the year. Spike said, ''Let's go to the back courtyard. I don't feel like leaving the grounds today.'' He actually didn't. He was tired of being made fun of, and he just wanted to relax for awhile where no one would bug him.
Buffy was debating on whether or not to tell him that when they had had sex, she had forgotten to tell him that she wasn't on the pill. She had meant to start taking it, so when they had sex, it would stop her from getting pregnant. She hadn't. She also had forgotten to mention it to him. She decided it would be a good thing, because she could be pregnant. It had only been a few days, but she could still be knocked up. ''Spike, I have something to tell you.'' She said, blushing.
Spike looked up. He had been staring at his sneakers as they had been walking. ''Yes, pet?'' He asked; even though he was looking at her, he still wasn't paying attention. Somewhere in his fog he heard, ''I wasn't on the pill. I'm sorry, Spikie.'' He cried, ''WHAT? What if you're pregnant, Buffy? We can't raise a baby yet!'' He was actually not as upset as he was making out to be.
Buffy looked sheepish. ''I know that, Spike. I just, I meant to take them, and I forgot. They're at home, hid in my underwear drawer, 'cause Mom never goes in there. Dawn doesn't, either. At least, not that I know of. But I'm most likely not pregnant. However, we need to worry about what we're going to do if I am.'' She looked at him earnestly.
They had reached the benches. Spike sat down, and sighed. He changed his mind about sitting up, and laid back on the bench, letting his legs hang off the sides. ''Buffy, I can't tell you what to do. It's your body, luv. If you decide to keep it, I'll be by your side. If you want to have an abortion, I will still be yours. Whatever you want, luv.'' He really wasn't going to leave her if she was. And he would be sad if she wanted to give it up, or have an abortion, but he would still love her with all his heart.
Buffy sat down on the ground in front of the bench he was lying on. ''That means a lot, Spike. I know that I speak so liberally all the time, and say that it's a woman's choice, but I could never abort your child. If I am, I'm keeping it. I actually hope that I am, because then I can come to London with you, and find some job.''
Spike didn't like this idea. ''That's not a good idea, luv. I'll be going to school for my writing, and I don't want to get a job if I don't have to, because then I'll have time for my schooling. Besides, I won't really need one; Rupe's saved up a mighty chunk of change for me that will last me all four years of school and then some.''
Buffy said, ''And haven't you been saving your allowance since you were like, five?'' She knew that Spike had saved his "pocket money" as he called it, for years, so he could have money for food and things when he went to college. He was in on full scholarship, and that included room and board, but Spike wanted money for going out with new friends and things.
They sat in silence for the rest of the period, pondering on whether or not they would want to keep the baby...............................if there was one, that is.