"Mike, I feel like a prat!" whined Rik

"Shouldn't you be used to that by now!" Mike snapped, his use was short to begin with, but having to do what they were doing at this very moment had made it near immeasurable.

"How long do we have to sit like this?" asked Neil from the gloom as the living room was in total darkness.

"Til Vyv comes back," said Rik, roughly aiming his voice

"When will that be?"

"How the bloody hell shout I know, what d'you think I am...the answer man?"

"No, but you seem to know everything there is to know, although your ill-informed on lots of subjects!"

"NO, no, no, Neil" laughed Mike, shifting his weight attempting to get comfy on the sofa that time forgot

"Thank you Mike, at least somebody appreciates my intellectual mind!"

"Rik is ill-informed on every subject!"

"Thanks a bloody lot Mike" huffed Rik, throwing a random cushion at Neil's head

"Ow, Rik, why'd you throw it at me?"

"Why not?" said Rik testily.

"Rik, you can't just throw something at a persons head just-"

"Neil!" hissed Mike "shut up!"

"Oh great, first I've got some jumped up little prick of an anarchist" angry hiss from Rik "throwing cushions at my head and now I'm being told to shut up-"

"Guys, I'm home!" shouted Vyv, hanging up his jacket, "why are all the lights off?" with a flick of his finger the living room was filled with light illuminating the horror that it held.

Rik, Mike and Neil sat dressed exactly like Vyvyan...the old Vyvyan. Mike was squirming, he'd never been so un-cool for so long, any longer and it may be contagious, what if he never was Mike the-cool-person again, what if he became Mike the-person-who-used-to-be-Mike-the-cool-person-but-now-is-completely-un-cool!

Vyvyan blinked, not knowing what to do or say whilst the guys stared back at him expectantly.

"You know" he said finally, the guys leaned forward, hoping to hear what they wanted to hear "I used to dress like that, thank heavens I came to my senses!" Mike swore loudly, before running upstairs, ripping off the offending denim like it was on fire.

Rik began crying while Neil was sat deep in thought, wondering if lentils would make this situation better.

Vyv stood at the doorway, nervously watching his 2 flatmates. He was worried about them, Rik didn't like to be called Rik, (despite the obvious fact it was his name) Neil would faint when someone wore new clothes and Mike felt the need to flee the room whenever Vyv entered. Mad. The lot of 'em. Mad

"Vyv" said Neil "are you in-"but a sharp slap from Rim stopped him mid sentence. Neil desperately wanted to ask Vyvyan this question to see if he was correct.

"Vyv, go to bed" snapped Rik, glaring at him, "me and Neil have things to discuss!" Neil looked terrified at the prospect of 'discussing' something with Rik. Vyv jerked slightly at being talked to in such a manner, normally he'd have thrown some large and preferably metal at his head, but instead he shook his head and walked upstairs to the sanctity of his room.

Rik waited till the heard the last of Vyv's footsteps before speaking

"Neil, I've got a plan!"

Rik pulled the collar of his trench coat round his ears and eyed the bustling street with an accusatory stare. This earned him strange looks off passers by but nothing would stop him from reaching his goal...spying on Vyvyan!

He leapt out from behind the tree he'd been crouched behind and pranced towards a parked car. He adjusted his shades and frowned...he'd lost Vyv.

Rim huffed angrily and set off down the street, but because a) he wasn't watching where he was going and b) because he had ludicrously dark sunglasses on he knocked into someone.

"Watch where you're going!" he snarled angrily, removing his shades.

A little old lady glared at him, making Rik laugh

"HA HA, was that supposed to be scary," The little old lady let out a growl

"You'd best watch your lip sonny, it'll get you into trouble!"

"Piss off!" said Rik, smiling and looking round at people as if urging them to congratulate them for being so brave and anarchy!

THACK

Rik was sent spiralling to the floor, when his head had stopped spinning and his vision had come back he saw the little old lady scowling, cracking her knuckles.

"Have you had enough yet pretty boy or" he curled her wrinkled hands into fists and held them towards Rik "d'you want some more!?!"

Rik never ran so fast in his life, no wonder the country going to the dogs with deranged old women have fights with innocent students in the street. Rik stood, against the wall; he might as well go home, he'd lost Vyv, he'd been beaten up by an O.A.P and he was hungry, he was just about to walk away when he spotted a hottie.

A beautiful girl, with long black hair that tumbled down her back, she was wearing a low-cut, very, very tight white dress and walked like she was on air. Rik pushed his jaw back up and sighed, now that was a women he'd love to 'have'.

He watched he sashay down the street, mesmerised by her every movement, then he spotted Vyv. Sat at a coffee bar. Granted Rik hadn't known Vyvyan that long but one thing he knew that Vyv would never, ever, ever, not under any circumstances would ever step foot in a coffee bar.

He looked nervous; he kept tugging at his shirt and ruffling up his hair or looking at his watch. He suddenly smiled and stood up.

Just as the hottie walked towards him

Her arms outstretched

They fell into a hug before kissing. Rik was disgusted.

It looked like a nice, romantic kiss. Vyvyan does not give out nice, romantic kisses! He'd witnessed it many times at parties, he'd run up to a girl, stick his tongue down her throat, be thrown off, and be punched, and he still thought he was in with a chance.

Something else was worrying Rik more...Neil...was right!