"Hermione, I will help you," Ron said, rubbing her back consolingly. "But I can't if you won't at least admit to yourself that what you and Snape had is over. You have to accept that before you can move on."

    Hermione tried to contain her tears. "I know, Ron. I know. But I'm not ready to."

    The next few days were hard. Hermione often burst into tears over seemingly nothing, and both Harry and Ron were wary to leave her alone when they had class, so they had taken to alternating skipping class, until Hermione's constant nagging (which had eventually won out over her sorrow) conviced them to both go one day, leaving Hermione alone. Happy though she was they cared enough about her to stay with her all the time, she was equally happy to finally have some time to herself. She put Emma down for a nap, and fully intended to follow suit when she heard a knock at the door. Fear washed through her. If it was Severus, she would have no one to protect her. She would have to face him. Squaring her shoulders, she walked to the door, and though she had thought she had prepared herself, tears pricked her eyes when she saw Snape standing there, looking right into her eyes. "Hermione," he said softly.

    "No," she said firmly. "I don't want to hear what you have to say. I've just gotten to the point where I can hear your name and not burst immediately into tears. So don't come walking over here and expect me to--"

    "I don't expect to be welcomed with open arms. I expect to at least be heard out."

    "No!" Hermione shouted, more defiantly this time. "I don't have to listen to you!"

    "Hermione." His voice was calm enough, but after seven years as his student, and two years as his wife, she knew when he was restraining emotion. "Why do you refuse to listen to me? I know you are above this display."

    "Yes, Severus," Hermione said, exasperation working it's way into her voice, "This is all simply to infuriate you. Always so astute." She tried again to shut the door, but Severus wrapped one of his elegant hands around it.

    "Why do you insist on avoiding me?" As he said this, he worked the door further open, and leaned down to Hermione's level, his face close to hers. "Why will you not listen to me?" His voice was deceptively soft as it had been calm earlier.

    Hermione allowed herself to enjoy his closeness for only a moment. She allowed herself to feel those silly butterflies that would still appear when he was so close to her, and she forgot, for a brief moment why they were even in this situation. But only for a moment. Her eyes narrowed. "Fine. I'll listen." taking a step back and gesturing to the apartment, she said "Won't you come in?"

    "Thank you." His over-polite tone dripped with sarcasm and she began wondering why he had stopped trying to be kind and loving and had reverted back to his usual demeanor. But her ruminations were stopped once the door was closed, and Snape was on her, crushing his mouth to hers. Her back was pressed against the door, and her hands were clawing at his back, tangling in his hair. His hands, which had so deftly stopped the door when she was trying to keep him out, were now possessively clamped on her back and waist. As he continued to ravish her mouth, Hermione got over her shock, and suddenly realized what was happening. His familiar touch had made her lose all sense of reality. She put her hands on his chest and pushed him back with surprising force. Her breath coming in short bursts, she eyed him warily. "This is not some petty fight, Severus. This cannot be solved with you kissing me senseless. This is far more serious than I fear you realize."

    Snape regained his composure rather fast. "You think I don't understand the gravity of what I said to you? I am not a man of pretty words, Hermione. I am a man of action. The only way to prove to you how I feel is by action. I was hoping that would clear up any lingering doubts."

    Hermione simply stared in disbelief. "My God. You still can't expect me to believe that you didn't mean what you said?"

    "I didn't!"

    "Severus, one thing that I always loved about you was the thought you put into everything. Every sentence you said, every single word you spoke, right down to the goddamn syllable was carefully chosen and planned out. And now you expect me to believe that for the first time in your life, you made a mistake? Tell me, what did you mean to say? Were you intending on saying "I've always loved you, Hermione," but somehow it got turned around in your head and came out "I don't love you."? What kind of fool do you take me for?"

    Severus took a step towards her. "I never thought you a fool, Hermione. Until now."

    "Why do you do this to me?" Hermione asked aloud more to herself than to him. Sitting on the couch she put her head in her hands, and began to cry.

    "Hermione," he said, crouching in front of her, taking her hands in his. "There are greater forces than me at work right now. I want you to understand that."

    Hermione's tear-filled brown eyes flicked up at that and she stared right into his fathomless black ones. "You can't blame everything on Voldemort, Severus. Especially since he's gone."

    "What makes you think I am, in any way, blaming this on him?!" Severus' voice had risen, as had he. He looked down at her. "You silly woman. The Dark Lord's death means nothing. His supporters still run the streets, and--"

    "This is not the time for a lecture!" Hermione stood up, her small stature rather less-than intimidating next to Severus. "Whether or not there are 'greater forces at work' it changes nothing about what you said. Nothing. Your kisses and excuses will do nothing for me. You know you meant it when you said it."

    "After decades as a spy, you don't think my acting abilities may have been better than you assume?" he asked, the sarcasm evident.

    "After decades as a spy, I would assume you were ready to stop acting. I see now that you have finally chosen to."

    "What in the world was that supposed to mean?"

    "It means that apparently our life was a complete lie. Every kiss, every glance, every word was just part of some act to make me believe something that wasn't real."

    "God, Hermione! Why would I do that?! I'm not a nice man by any means, but I am not the type to spend four years of my life seducing a woman, creating a family and a life with her, and then throw it all away. I don't get off on other people's pain. I'm not a sadist."

    "Maybe not." Hermione's voice lost it's defiant edge. "You know, I always thought I was the only one that could understand you. I thought that I could see through the incredible walls you had built up, the--" her voice trailed off, and she broke down into tears, hating herself for letting him see her like this.   

    Severus took a step towards her, planning on comforting her, but she recoiled. "NO," she said forcefully. "Don't come near me. I need to deal with this myself. Just go."

    "I can't leave you like this."

    Hermione stood up straight, squared her shoulders, and looked him in the eye. "You made me like this."

    Severus looked at his wife, hair out of control as always, hands balled into defiant fists, lower lip shaking, eyes shining with unshed tears. "And for that, my love, I am truly sorry." With a sweep of his voluminous black robes, he was gone.

    Hermione crumpled on the couch, sobbing as she had for so many days. Soon, the high-pitched wailing of her daughter alerted her, and she dried her tears and picked up the child. "Oh, Emma." she said. "What kind of man tells you one day that he doesn't love you, and then a few days later uses a term of endearment you never knew you would hear from him?"

    Emma gurgled happily and snuggled into her mother's arms.

    Hermione sighed. "I don't know either."