Banzai: Hey people! This is my first Fic here so take it easy on me, eh? (Hugs Badly sewn plush dolls of the RK cast) Mine.... NO SADLY, I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or characters, But maybe Nobuhiro Watsuki will sell them to me? Nope thats probably not gonna happen either.....
Title: Chappie one: Something stupid
A One-shot. Just Bashing some scenes from RK. Kaoru And other character bashing.
Holy crap I suck at summarys! But doesn't everyone?? (ducks as the angry readers stone her to death.)
OOC-ness
By: BlackJack Banzai, Also known as Nicole NofoodForYou.
thinking
Kaoru: ::Running around the dojo, screaming at people for no reason:: SCREAM!!! RAGE!! ANGER!!! YELL!!!! SCREECH!!!
Kenshin: (jams some cotton in his ears, continues to wash Kaoru's clothes) Man I wish she'd shut up.
Kaoru: (stops abruptly and glares at kenshin) WHAT... Did... you... say????
Kenshin: (can't hear a thing) hmmhmmmhmm.....
Kaoru: (gets about two inches from his face, starts breathing heavily and twitching) you better answer me right now you obnoxious turd.
Kenshin: (eyes water from the smell of booze on Kaoru's breath) Ack! COUGH! W-what? (Takes the cotton out of his ears) What?
Kaoru: Jerk! (Snorts, and a little booger flies out her nose and lands on Kenshin's face)
Kenshin: I'm sorry... Thinks: EEWWWWWWWWW!!!!! Thats so nasty! AND ITS ON MY FACE!?!?!
Kaoru: Well I hope so!! (turns around and goes off on this long speech about how men are incompetent asses)
Kenshin: (quickly wipes his face off and grimaces) UNCLEAN!!! ::dunks his head in the soapy laundry water:: Get it off!! GET IT OFF!!
((as kenshin scrubs furiously at his face, a few minutes pass by and Kaoru turns around))
Kaoru: and thats why- OHMIGOD!! ::Grabs Kenshin and tosses him a few feet in the air::
Kenshin: ORORORORORO!! (Splats on the ground)
Kaoru: Kenshin! I cant believe you tries to commit suicide, over ME!!
Kenshin: But I wasn't-
Kaoru: YOU DO CARE!!!(starts getting overly dramatic, sniffling and sobbing like a two year old)
Kenshin: .......but-
Kaoru A-HOOHOOHOOO! (starts rolling on the ground wailing)
Kenshin: .........Uh-
Kaoru: ITS SO AMAZING, GOD! I MIGHT HAVE TO GO SLIT MY WRISTS WITH PLASTIC SPOONS!! (hyperventilates, still sobbing)
Kenshin: Kaoru-dono.....
Kaoru: GOD! Whend'ya think we'll get married?
Kenshin: ::turns beet red:: KAORU! SNAP OUT OF IT!! ::slaps Kaoru::
Kaoru: (mouth hangs open, eyes bulge) Uhhhhhhhhh........
Kenshin: ...........::slaps himself:: stupid, STUPID Kenshin! I broke it!!
Kaoru: What? (Looks around like nothing happened) no more sake for me, thanks!
Kenshin: ::jaw drops several inches::
Kaoru: ::face gets all serious:: yeah, that is a stupid thing to say, you and me, Married. Ha!
Kenshin: yeah, like that'd EVER happen.
(They both kind of laugh)
::long pause...................................................................::
Kaoru: ::looks around:: Hey! WAITER!! Five bloody marys and one flying fuck for my friend here!!
Kenshin: ...We're- We're not in a bar......
Kaoru: Says who?
Kenshin: (gesture to the world with his hand) Does it LOOK like a bar?
Kaoru: The world is my bar. ::Sparkles and bottles of booze float down around her head::
Kenshin: Addict.
Kaoru: (starts beating him) HEY I AIN'T NO AL- ALCOO-.... AELCEUHEL-.....Al-
Kenshin: Alcoholic?
Kaoru: Yea. One of that.
Kenshin: Them. One of them.
Kaoru: Yea.
Kenshin: (sighs deeply)
Kaoru: God, I'd like a nice cold Corona right now...
Kenshin: (groans and puts his head in his hands)
Kaoru: What? Don't you like to drink?
Kenshin: (looks disturbed) ... is that all you ever think about? Booze?
Kaoru: and Kitties! Don't forget kitties!
::Kenshin Falls over anime style::
(suddenly Yahiko falls from the sky and lands a few yards away with a huge SPLAT)
K &K: ................. . ....... ... .......
Yahiko: ::wheeze, Gag:: oohhhhhhhhhhhhhh........
Kaoru: lemme guess, You commented on Sano's weight again didn't you?
Yahiko: S-...Shut up!!
Kenshin: He's really sensitive about that you know.
::Sanoske slams open the shoji screen, it flies off and sails into the air, landing in a forgotten bowl of onion dip not 10 yards away::
Sanoske: ::eyes are all huge and teary, snot dripping out nose, lower lip trembling:: I......I AM NOT FAT!!!!
Yahiko: (puts his hands in front of face) DON'T HURT ME!!
SAnoske: YOU CALLED ME PORKY!!!
Yahiko: I'M SORRY!!!
Kaoru: ::blink::
Kenshin: ::blink::
Sanoske: ::starts frothing at the mouth:: I KILL YOU NOW!!! ::Lunges at Yahiko's Jugular with
his teeth::
Yahiko: (Runs away) OH MY GOD YOUR CRAZY! STAY AWAY!!
Sanoske: ::chases after Yahiko, Screaming something ungodly::
Kaoru: that was.....
Kenshin: different.....
::loud high pitched screams echo thought the dojo::
Kenshin: ahh, Yahiko must be going through puberty....
Kaoru: ...............::smacks him:: DOPE!
Kenshin: Whhhaaat? ::rubs his damaged skull::
Kaoru: I think I can get Sano off yahiko..... (pulls out a package of industrial size crackers) hehe...
Sooo, that s the first Chappie!! ("chapter" for you grammatically correct children) Did you like it?? Did it suck?? PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!!! SUGGESTIONS AND CORRECTIONS WILL BE MOST APPRECIATED! But flames... Ah, flames will be growled at and sent back with a nasty little note from me.
Pleeeeeeeease Review!
REVIEW BUTTON!! PRESS IT AND MAGICAL SALAMANDERS WILL COME OUT AND DANCE!!! PRESSIT PRESSIT PRESSIT!!!