Here's chapter 10. For those of you expecting a Miranda chapter, sorry but you're going to have to wait a bit longer. This chapter needed to happen first : ) I hope you enjoy it. Let me know eh? Thanks for the reviews so far. They make me happy.

I don't own anything remotely to do with Lizzie Maguire, which I'm quite sad about really.

Lizzie had been wandering for quite some time when she eventually found herself in the local park. Her mind had been going a mile a minute trying to figure out what had happened to make her so confused. What was it about last night that had thrown her emotions into whack?

Lizzie sat down on some swings and let herself sway slowly back and forward. She felt slightly too old to be sitting on the swings but the awkward feeling and the fear of people watching her faded as she drifted off into her thoughts, relaxed by the gentle swaying motion.

Lizzie thought about the night before. It had been a good night, a fun night. So why was it that she didn't feel so good about it? She had had fun. She had got to spend time with Ethan Craft. That had been a lot of fun. He was so cute and so good at Mini Golf. This should have made her feel good. She should have felt happy that she had gotten to spend some time with Ethan. She even had gotten to have some alone time with him. This should have left her with good, happy feelings about last night but it didn't.

Lizzie's first reasoning for the way she was feeling about the night before stemmed from the fact that Ethan had once again stated his lack of interest in Lizzie as anything more than a good friend. Sure this had hurt. It's never the nicest thing in the world to have someone tell you that. No matter who they are. But it wasn't that. She already knew that Ethan didn't like her like that. The night may have started with her being excited to spend time with him and the thought of maybe Ethan finally wanting to date her or something but by the end of the night that wasn't were her mind was at all.

Ethan's rejection hadn't really hurt her because she wasn't really looking to be accepted. She than thought that maybe if it wasn't because he had rejected her that it was because he had told her that he actually liked Miranda. The fact that Ethan liked Lizzie's best friend more than her did sting but once again Lizzie new this wasn't the source of her feelings. Despite being stung by this revelation she was happy for Miranda. Really happy. She was even relieved fro some reason at the thought of Ethan and Miranda as a couple.

So if the night before had confirmed anything it was that her childhood crush on Ethan was fading away into nothingness. She was over him. Lizzie was surprised that she had finally admitted that fact to herself. She was over Ethan Craft. So why then was she upset and confused about the night before?

It could be said that maybe Lizzie already knew the answer to this question but was too afraid to really answer it. That's why she was looking for alternatives to the truth. She felt confused and upset about her feelings because she was too scared to actually admit them and what they meant.

Lizzie tried to avoid her feelings foe as long as she could. She tried to loose herself in the scenery of the park and the calming feeling of gently swaying on the swings. She looked at the clear blue sky and the beautiful shades of green that surrounded her. She tried to let her thoughts wander as she watched the people in the park, the adults sitting on the benches and the children running around in innocent bliss. When did things get so complicated? She heard her parents voice in her head answering back that it was all part of growing up and found herself laughing for the first time that day.

Lizzie realised that she was going to have to face up to her feelings sooner or later. So it might as well be now. What had been the big deal about yesterday? What had been so different?

Gordo... She knew why she felt bad about the night before. It was because of Gordo. She felt bad for the way she had treated him. She had ignored him practically all night and spent the whole time clinging to Ethan? Why? Gordo was her best friend. There was no one she preferred spending time with. Not even Miranda. Lizzie was once again surprised that she had admitted this to herself. Lizzie loved Miranda like a sister. She loved spending time with Miranda, she would be happy to spend all her time with Miranda but... but she'd be happier to spend all her time with Gordo.

Lizzie realised that last night had been the first time since school had broken for the summer that Lizzie and Gordo were going to do something alone. Just the two of them. Although it wasn't unusual for this to happen something had been different about last night. Gordo and Lizzie had been getting closer all year. Kate had told her that Gordo had a crush on her but she wasn't really prepared to believe that. Was she?

It all started to become clear to Lizzie despite her effort to ignore her feelings. She had feelings for Gordo and it scared her. Lizzie once more was surprised that she had admitted this to herself. Lizzie had feelings for Gordo. She had finally admitted it and not only that but she realised just how petrified that made her feel.

Yesterday's events suddenly hit her with amazing clarity. She now knew why she had been so nervous about going out with Gordo. Going out? That was it. It had felt like a date. Had Miranda tried to set them up? It's possible. Maybe that's why she was over at Gordo's earlier yesterday. Maybe she was trying to get Gordo to do something about his feelings. Did Gordo even have feelings for Lizzie? The clarity of the situation wasn't making Lizzie any less nervous about her newly admitted feelings.

The one good thing about this train of thought was that it stopped Lizzie from feeling jealous about Miranda spending time with Gordo yesterday. Lizzie would be crushed if Gordo and Miranda got together. She just realised how much she cared about Gordo but if something were going on with them two, her two best friends, she would just have to put on a smile and try to be as happy for them as she could be.

Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie. Lizzie leaned her head against the rope of the swing and wondered why she had acted so stupid last night. Was she really that scared by her feelings for Gordo that she would sabotage her night out with him? The evidence pointed to a yes answer. Yes she was that scared. Gordo was more than her best friend he was her... Her rock. He was always there for Lizzie when she needs him. Lizzie was so afraid of jeopardising their friendship and yet she may well have done just that by the way she acted last night.

Lizzie had purposefully avoided Gordo by spending time with Ethan and then there was the kicker. She had ditched Gordo to have Ethan walk her home. She knew this had hurt Gordo's feelings. Why else would he call her hassle? Why had she been so stupid?

Lizzie stopped swinging and wiped the tears that were forming from her eyes. She needed to fix this. She realised that she couldn't hide from her feelings for Gordo. She had tried last night and look what had happened there. She needed to tell him how she felt. She needed to tell him that she loved him...

Lizzie stood up from the swing at the realisation of what she had just admitted to herself. It stunned her for a moment and she simply stared off into the distance but there it was she had admitted it now and couldn't take it back because she knew it was true. Lizzie loved Gordo.

Lizzie started walking away from the swings and out of the park. She needed to do something. She needed to find Miranda. Lizzie needed to tell this to Miranda. Miranda would know what to do. Lizzie's walk quickly turned into a jog and than a sprint and she was gone.

A/N Subliminal message: Review, review, and review