Oki-doki then! Got 2 reviews!
Author: BlackJackBanzai
Note: this is a lot more random than the first one, shakes head I tried to keep it on track, but
seems I just kept adding more and more junk onto the plot.......
Second Chappie: "Pills are for Pussies" Or "Kenshin Uses Drugs"
Summary: There is no summary, bitches, You'll Have to READ it!
I Don't own Kenshin!! BUT IT WOULD BE FANTASTIC IF I DID!!! his outfit for the whole show would be a tiny elastic thong and... Awright never mind. (Brushes the bad thoughts away)
I don't own Triscuits either. Peh. Nasty wheat crackers.....
Kaoru: (picking her nails) ooh lala...Gotta push these cuticles back...
Kenshin: Hello? Your plan? You said you had a plan?
Kaoru: huh?
Kenshin: -- (chugs down a bottle of anti-depressants) Please God, help me tolerate these idiots, please oh, please, oh please......
Kaoru: Oh! Oh yeah... my diabolical scheme to take over "Toys R us" and destroy Geoffrey the giraffe ONCE AND FOR ALL AND BURN HIS DECAPITATED BODY IN ETERNAL HELL FIRE!!!! WAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!! ::sprays saliva::
Kenshin: cowering in the corner w-w-wrong plan.
Yahiko: ::scrambling up a tree:: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Sanoske: ::snarls, starts head-butting the tree::
Kaoru: oh....with the crackers! ok yeah I remember now!! ::whips out cracker box::
Yahiko: KAORU HELP ME!!!
::kaoru runs over, hits sano with the box and falls over ::
Sanoske: ::looks up:: hm?
Yahiko: O.O what the fuck?
Kenshin: WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!!!
Yahiko: .......
Kenshin: I mean- uh... oh shit- I MEAN-
Sanoske: ::takes the cracker box and starts eating:: mmm..... Triscuits.
::a flock of pigeons drop down around him and stare::
Pigeons: coo, coo, coo...
Sanoske: ......oh no, you aint getting none of this you fat moochers
Pigeons: coo, coo... :: start closing in on him::
Sanoske: O.O NO!! STOPIT!! MIND CONTROL HAS NO POWER OVER ME, YOU DEMONIC BIRDS!!
Pigeons: ::mutate into huge poofy birds with fangs:: BKKKKAWWW!
Kenshin: ::Glances at the birds, Unscrews the lid to a huge bottle of Prozac and starts eating pills by the handful:: PONIES!!! My God! I feel so enlightened!!! Like Koala bears and unicorns have crapped happiness into my brain!! I'VE NEVER FELT SO HAPPY IN MY LIFE- cept that one time at Hooters with the half-naked waitresses an- WELL I FEEL PRETTY DAMN GOOD!!!
::sanoske runs down the road with evil pigeons following him::
Yahiko: ::Slides down the tree:: Splinter! Oooooh! Splinter up the Ass!!! ::lands on a prcupine:::
OOOOH! Needles!! OOOOH!! God I hate needles!! OOOOOOOOH!!!!
KAoru: ::Wakes up:: did it work? (Sees cracker crumbs and bird shit all over) Sweet! Yogurt!!
Yahiko &Kenshin: NO!
Kaoru: ::stops:: Pigs, you want it for yourself don't you?
::megumi pops out of a bush::
Megumi: BWWWAAAAAAHH!!!
Kenshin: EEEEEEK!! shoots into the air
Megumi: Woah.... (watches as he turns into a speck in the sky)
Kaoru: glares Fox.....
Megumi: Racoon....
::Cowboy showdown music plays::
yahiko: backs away
Megumi: On three...
Kaoru: One...
Megumi: two...
Kaoru: THREE!
Both: (whip out guns and shoot each other in the heart)
Yahiko: ......Mmkay.... pries porcupine needles out of his ass
Kaoru & Megumi: (look at the Little sticky Dart on their chests) Damn.
::Kenshin falls from the sky wailing and sobbing::
Kenshin: IT'S GONNA HURT!!! WAAAH! OH I DON'T WANT IT TO HURT!!!!!
Yahiko: He needs to get laid.
Kaoru: everyone says that, can't you come up with something a little more original??
Yahiko: oki-doki, He needs to get Fucked up the ass with a shar-
Kaoru: OK! NO MORE LATE NIGHT TV FOR YAHIKO.
Yahiko: ::bawls::
::kenshin falls into a Chicken pen, causing a huge explosion::
KA BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
::little fried chicken parts fall from the sky::
Kenshin: curls in the fetal position I...have...KILLED......
Kaoru: slaps him Don't you DARE start that "I can't kill, because it's bad, and I killed people before, but now it's different" thing, or I'll knock you into next year.
Kenshin: yes ma'am! Gets up and gallops into the dojo. Megumi and Yahiko follow
Kaoru: ..........WAIT!!! I DON'T WANNA BE ALONE!!!!
Yahiko: I'm hungry.
Kenshin: ::instincts kick in, Rushes to the kitchen:: FOOD MUST BE PREPARED!!!
Yahiko: I love that!
Megumi: are you taking advantage of Ken-san's girly instincts?
Yahiko: Yes.
Megumi: Good Job!!
##$!$##!#()(!#&)(#&)!(#&)#
Kenshin: ::walks into kitchen, Finds two cats screwing on the table:: AHH! Fluffy! smacks the other cat with a ladle GO AWAY! OH FLUFFY YOU STREET WHORE!!!
Kaoru: falls into the dojo, twitching badly P- People......
Yahiko: Howdy, Kenshin's screaming about street whores.
Kaoru: WHAAAAAT?!?!? (stomps off) MEGUMI!
Megumi: what?
Kaoru: oh guess it wasn't you.
Megumi: ::hurls a grenade at Kaoru::
Kaoru: AIIIGH! Flings herself into a wall
Megumi: OHOHOHOHOHOHO! (Passing birds drop dead out of the sky)
Megumi: grabs the grenade and taps it IT'S A FAKE!
Kaoru: ::Is about to tear Megumi's eyebrows off when Kenshin squeals::
Kenshin: KAORU!!! YOUR CAT SCREWED MY CAT!!!!
Kaoru: I don't have a cat..... Neither do you......
Kenshin: ::Ponders this for a couple hours:: ...OHHHH! Guess your right. Well, there were two random cats screwing on the table then, but I made SANDWICHES!!!
All: ::unenthusiastically:: yee.
Kenshin: Turkey and Wheat bread! My favorite!! ::sits there and doesn't eat it:: Yum! Delicious!
Kaoru: ::Looks at a slice of turkey, which is kind of yellowish and Hairy:: What kind of turkey is this?
Kenshin: it's not turkey, it's made from large, sewer dwelling European rodents.
Megumi: HOOMP. Runs outside to Puke::
Yahiko: Rodents huh? Tastes like radioactivity.... ::all his hair Falls out::
Kaoru: happily munching a Burger king whopper Yeah, great sandwiches there, Kenny-boy.
Kenshin: woo-hoo. ::walks out to buy more pills::
::A Large dust cloud comes rumbling up the street, trampling school children, Old ladies and small pets::
Megumi: Oh- OH MY GOD!!!!
(GASP) (GASP) (GASP) what could it be? (GASP) (GASP) (GASP) (vomit)
yep, thats the second chapter. My god this has no plot, but it's better that way, or at least until I get the hang of this..... TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK I NEED REVIEWS HERE!!
Oh and Please don't expect any Sex scenes, I know Other peoples who can write stuff like that very well. But I can't, seriously. And if I did it would be like:
"Rrg."
"Arg."
"Snortph! SNOPTH! SNORPHG!"
"Oooo."
"Ahh."
"Eee."
::squeaky squeaky squeaky....::
"BLEPTH!"
"OwOwOwOw!"
"Oooooooooh!"
"HEY THAT WAS FUN!!"
"I KNOW, HEY LETS DO IT AGAIN!!"
::squeaky squeaky squeaky....::
....why, that was interesting! But Yeah, so, Just don't expect any sex..........
NOW R&R PEOPLE!!!! R AND R!