July
It was late. The summer night drew close around the small cottage. Lily lay propped up on several pillows. Her breathing had slowed as the contraction ended. The mid-wife smiled. "That wasn't so bad," she whispered. The lights, like the voices, were soft and dim. James leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Lily's cheek. She smiled weakly. The mid-wife had set a spell to take away the sharpest pain. But there was no way to take all of it. If I had known what this was going to put you through. James smiled softly, sadly. You're the bravest of us all, my sweet Lily.
Her eyes narrowed and she clamped down hard on James' wrist as a new wave of pain started. Reminding her to breathe seemed insignificant. "It's okay; you're doing it," he whispered, leaning close to her. She panted and blew, her breath hot against his face. A soft cry of pain escaped her lips.
"Okay, Lily," the mid-wife said. "We're almost done, the hard part's nearly over."
James chuckled. "I thought the hard part was raising them," he breathed. Lily laughed around the pain.
The mid-wife surveyed him, "I meant that he's coming, the next push will have his head out."
"His head? Push Lily, push!" James winced as she squeezed his wrist, the bones popping. Lily gave a final effort and lay back, panting. Her eyes held pain as they usually held laughter. James focused on her eyes. "We're almost done," he said, "You can rest in just a minute."
"Okay, Lily," the mid-wife said. "One more push, he's looking good. One slow push for his shoulders." Lily's gasps came quick, tinged with cries of pain.
"I love you, Lily," James placed his forehead to hers, "I love you. You can do this, you can."
Somewhere below them, a door slammed. James held Lily's gaze. There were shouts. Remus and Sirius. Lily's gaze flicked to the bedroom door. "Look at me, Lily," James said. Her deep-green eyes pulled back to meet his hazel ones. She bore down again. More shouts, the sound of breaking glass sliced through the house.
"Sir?" the mid-wife asked.
"It's taken care of," James said. "You just do your job." My friends will do theirs. Lily's breath slowed, the wave of pain passing.
The mid-wife bustled around behind him; small sounds, alien sounds issuing forth. "Your son, sir," the mid-wife said. James spun around, looking up. The mid-wife placed the tiny creature upon Lily's chest. "Your son, Lily," she whispered, smiling.
A surprised laugh burst from Lily. She released James' wrist and embraced the newborn before her. A white numbness engulfed James. My son? The mid-wife had washed the worst of the fluid from the baby and wrapped a white blanket around him before handing him to Lily. It started crying, a look of pain on the tiny, red face. My son. James laughed. The baby cried louder.
A huge crash shook the house. Lily pulled her baby close. "James?" she breathed. He looked at the mid-wife.
"Are we done?"
"One more thing, the after-birth. You can go. Most fathers can't handle this part, anyway," she said.
"Be right back," he promised, kissing Lily's forehead. He bent over and kissed the soft top of Harry's head. My son!
James drew his wand as he rushed from the room. He tip-toed down the hall to the stairway. Peter crouched at the foot of the stairs. His wand lit the gloom. Beyond its weak light, darkness shrouded the first floor. "Wormtail," James hissed. The short man jumped, spinning towards him.
"Oh, James. How's Lily?"
"She's fine. What's the situation?"
"At least five Death Eaters. There may be more outside. Remus and Sirius led them towards the backyard."
"All five left?"
"I think so."
"Stay here, Wormtail." James slid past him, giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. He crept through the dark house, checking every dark corner; opening every closet and cupboard. The backdoor hung from a single hinge. James pushed through it.
A green spell burst against the wall beside him. James dove for the shadows to the right, landing beside the porch. He rolled to a stop and scanned the backyard.
"Prongs!" Sirius shouted from the other side of the porch.
A cloaked figure ran between two trees at the edge of the thicket. James set his wand, ready to let a spell fly. "Prongs! There are two to your right!" Sirius shouted.
James pivoted towards the side of the house. A green spell flew at his head! He threw himself to the ground, his own spell flying wild. Two more shafts of green light sped towards him. James lunged forward. The spells hit the ground at his feet. Dirt and sod flew outward, sprinkling the area.
James lay at the Death Eaters' feet. Rolling to his left, he shot two impediment jinxes at his assailants. The closest one dodged, throwing himself backwards. His companion caught both jinxes squarely in the chest. He froze, his wand up. James gained his feet and rushed forward, closing the distance between himself and the remaining Death Eater. The Death Eater charged into him.
They lunged for each other's throats, trying to bring their wands to bear. James back-handed the Death Eater, rocking his hooded head back. "Impedimenta!" he hissed. The jinx slammed into his opponent, sending him stiffly to the ground.
Struggling for breath, James bound the two Death Eaters and turned back towards the backyard. Remus! His friend lay near the wand-tree sapling, flinging his arms and legs violently. "No!" James raced forward. There had to be eye-contact! Sirius had two Death Eaters on the ground as well. He was shouting something at two others. His haughty stance barely registered in James' head. He had to find the dark wizard that had Remus! It wasn't any in the yard!
"Protego!" James threw a shield over Remus, hoping it would help. He ran for the trees behind his house. A green spell burst beside him, singeing his arm, as he entered the thicket. A numbing pain traveled up his arm, making it hard to keep hold of his wand. He threw himself away from the spell.
"Potter!" He pulled up short. A wand tip brushed against his eye lashes as he blinked in the darkness. A Death Eater stood before him. A sly chuckle wafted from the hood. "And now I have you. You and your friends have been a pain in the Dark Lord's side for too long!" Stupid! Running blindly in here!
No! Not now! James felt a defiant glare settle on his face. "I'm surprised you dared to come," he forced himself to laugh. "I don't think you've brought enough friends! Your forces have been decimated! My friends will have gotten in touch with Dumbledore by now!" He watched the Death Eater fidget nervously. Then he regained his confidence.
"That's not true. Dumbledore has forsaken his three rebellious lieutenants. You've defied him and he has removed his protections!" The Death Eater laughed.
"They have defied me," said a soft voice behind the Death Eater. James sank to his knees. Relief flooded him. I've never been so happy to hear that voice. The body bind spell hit the Death Eater and he toppled to the ground beside James. Dumbledore stepped from the shadows. "Just as I knew they would. But they have not been forsaken."
James closed his eyes, breathing for just a moment. Happy to be breathing. "Dumbledore," he started. He opened his eyes. Three Death Eaters floated immobilized behind the elder wizard. With a swish of his wand, Dumbledore added the fourth Death Eater to his collection. He reached out a hand to James.
With a sigh, James took the offered hand and stood. "You came?"
"Of course. I couldn't let you three dangle in the wind, unprotected, and then not show up to claim my prize."
James grimaced, "You used us," he accused. Dumbledore nodded. "To catch a big fish--," he began.
"You need big bait," James finished.
"This is a war, James. I will use what tools I can. You and your friends presented the opportunity, I capitalized on it. Come now. Let's see how Remus and Sirius are faring." James followed Dumbledore back through the trees. When they reached the yard, the battle had ended.
Remus sat beside the sapling, staring off into the night sky. Sirius was rounding up the immobilized Death Eaters. He stopped when he saw Dumbledore following James out from the woods.
"Hmph!" he crossed his arms over his chest, unveiled anger on his face. "Did you come to gloat?" he spat.
"Never," Dumbledore replied, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I daresay, Sirius, that you have enough attitude for all of us." He nodded to Remus, "No, I came to see what I had caught in my trap."
"In your trap?" Remus asked. But the pieces slid together behind his intelligent eyes. "You set us up!" He glared at Dumbledore.
"No, Remus. I merely took advantage of the situation. I knew Voldemort couldn't resist moving against you three. Especially once he thought you were vulnerable."
"We handled it!" Sirius shouted.
"Oh, you did fine. What do you say, James?" Dumbledore swished his wand and a host of floating Death Eaters joined them from the front of the house. James fell to his knees, his mouth going dry. There are so many of them!
"We would have died," he croaked. He counted them. Twenty-four!
"Oh, Prongs," Sirius breathed. Had Dumbledore let only a few Death Eaters through? Just enough to give us a run for our money?
A fine trembling started in James' hands. "I just wanted to be normal," he said. "I just wanted the life I should have had." He felt tears in his eyes. "I wanted to pretend. I still want to pretend." The tears slid silently down his cheeks. "Just for a while."
Dumbledore laid a soft hand on his head. "Surely, James, you see now that that is only a dream." A beautiful dream, forever denied me. He nodded in reply.
"Oh, James," Remus said, "Look at what we almost did. What would have happened to Lily and Harry? We can't do this. Never again."
"Well I'm not ready to give up!" Sirius raged, "I had this covered!"
"Of course you did," Dumbledore said with a sideways wink to James. "Two dozen Death Eaters are nothing to you." Sirius' bravado melted. Anger rose in its place but he held his tongue.
"Now. I am willing to take you three back with the following conditions." Conditions? James frowned. He has us now for certain. There's no getting away. Not with my family at stake. "You will spend this last night together." Dumbledore continued. "Tomorrow, I will send three owls with three new addresses. You will move to those new homes by sunset. And there will be no more nonsense about divulging each other's whereabouts and moving in together.
"Once a month we will arrange visitation with Harry and Sirius. A visitation privilege that I will revoke if you give me too much grief," he cautioned as Sirius opened his mouth. With a glare, Sirius clamped down on his unsaid words. "You will follow my instructions, to the letter. And you will fight tirelessly against Voldemort, just as you always have.
"In exchange for these services, I extend to you, my protection." Dumbledore held out a hand, palm up. Three jelly beans lay there. Remus rose and took one. With a sigh, he popped it into his mouth and chewed. James took one. It's only symbolic There's nothing to it. Damn you Dumbledore! He glared up at the old wizard.
"You have me, well and good. Without my family, I would leave."
"I don't doubt that you feel that way, James."
"Then don't doubt that I would act on those feelings. I have once. And I would again. Were it just me, I'd take my chances against the Death Eaters." He met Dumbledore's gaze, unblinking.
The old wizard nodded slowly. He bowed his gray head as James ate the candy.
Sirius strode over. Anger crackled around him. He stood nose to nose with the elder Dumbledore. Icy gray eyes bore into the twinkling blue ones. "You will not set my visitations with Harry! He is my Godson and I will see him whenever I please! You do not dictate my terms of service, Dumbledore! I serve James and only James! He will set my terms!" Sirius turned from the old wizard and stared down at James; still kneeling in the grass.
"Just eat the jelly bean, Sirius," James said.
"If you insist," Sirius said, bowing regally to James before turning and reaching for the candy.
Dumbledore pulled his hand away. "You will limit your visits with Harry to once a month, the date and time to be set by James. Any more often than once a month and you will attract too much attention again. And I promise you, all of you, that I will not save you a second time. If I must go through James to 'hire' you, Mr. Black, then I will." He held out the candy again.
"You know you can't win this war without me," Sirius hissed.
"I definitely wouldn't want to try," Dumbledore smiled. Sirius opened his mouth to say more then stopped. With a curt nod, he took the candy and ate it.
"Right," Dumbledore continued, "I'll leave you to it. I have some paperwork to get to." He rounded up the two dozen Death Eaters and walked slowly out to the road.
Remus and Sirius knelt beside James. They sat together in silence for a long time.
"I bet we could dig this up, no problem," Sirius said, laying a hand on the sapling. Remus sighed.
"No," James said. "We'll leave it here. This is my family home. We'll be back once Voldemort's gone." A new goal then. I will find that abomination and I will kill him. And when he's gone, I can live in peace.
"Let's go check on Lily," Remus said, stiffly regaining his feet. They helped each other up and returned to the house.
"I think we had a good showing," Sirius said as they worked their way back through the house and up the stairs. Peter had left the stairwell. He's with Lily.
"Peter?" James called, knocking on the closed bedroom door. He opened it slowly, peering in at a tired Lily and a beaming Peter.
"James!" Peter stage-whispered, "He's beautiful! A little angel. He's sleeping, come see." The three friends filed in. Sirius and Remus crowded close to Peter; leaning over him as he sat at the head of the bed. James sat beside him, taking Lily's hand.
She smiled sadly, "Peter said that Dumbledore was here." James swallowed hard before nodding. "He saved us, right?" Again James nodded.
"We have to move tomorrow," he told her, "He's finding us a new house tonight." She sighed and nodded.
"Here, Remus," Peter said, handing Harry up to him. "He's waking up." Sirius and Remus cooed and babbled inches away from the baby's face. "He's so little," Remus whispered, smiling up at Lily and James.
"He has my eyes," Sirius said, elated.
"What?" James looked up at him.
"Well, they're gray."
"You git," Remus said, shoving him with a shoulder, "All newborns have gray eyes."
"Oooo, you know so much," Sirius laughed, quietly.
"As a matter of fact, I do," Remus answered. He started babbling at the baby. "Yes, I do. That stupid git. You have Lily's eyes. Yes you do."
"And the mid-wife?" James asked, ignoring the two grown men fussing over his son.
"She left as soon as she could," Lily said. "She said to rest and let you take care of the baby tonight. Though she didn't seem sure that you'd be back." She smiled and chuckled at the scene at the foot of the bed. James turned.
Remus had handed the baby to Sirius. His thin face shone beneath his wild black hair. "He's so tiny," he said. "Look at his nose, his fingers. Oh, he's smiling at me, look Moony." Remus nodded. "Do you know what today is?" Sirius asked the baby, nose to nose. "It's your birthday. Yes it is," he pitched his voice high and soft. "It's your birthday." Harry reached out and Sirius laid a finger in his palm. "Oh, you're so strong. Just like your father. Yes you are. Shall we sing then? You'd like that?"
"Oh, no." Remus turned to James, "Stop him, please." He strode back towards Sirius. "Anything but your singing. Please, Sirius." Peter chuckled. Sirius looked up for a brief second, before turning back to Harry.
"Happy birthday to you," he crooned, just slightly off-key and throaty. He spun slowly at the foot of the bed.
"Too late!" Remus lamented, burying his face in his hands and plugging his ears.
"Happy birthday to you," Sirius rocked Harry in the crook of his elbow. "Happy birthday dear Harry," he drew out the name, "Happy birthday tooo, youuu."
Remus let out a soft howl on the last note. James' smile came back. "It wasn't so bad," he critiqued.
"Not so bad!" Remus stage-shouted, "There'll be dogs from here to London struck deaf by that voice."
"You're just jealous. I've heard your singing voice too," Sirius said as James, Peter and Lily laughed quietly. "Besides, Harry liked it, he fell asleep." Sirius returned the sleeping baby to James.
"Check for a heartbeat," Remus murmured. "That song may have done him in."
James studied the sleeping baby in his arms. Harry. Everything I am is sleeping here in my arms. Everything I dreamed of doing, but didn't get to do, everything I've done so far. It's all here, lying in my arms. And he likes Sirius' singing. James smiled sadly.
"Thanks, Wormtail," he whispered. "Thank-you for watching our backs, protecting this precious soul."
"Anytime, James, anytime," Peter beamed. He stood. "I ought to go. It's way past my bedtime." He gave a wheezy chuckle and patted Remus on the shoulder. "Take care, Moony."
"Will do," Remus promised, clapping him on the arm.
"Sirius," Peter nodded towards the taller man.
"Goodnight, Wormtail," Sirius whispered.
"James, Lily. I'll see you soon." He waved as he left the room, showing himself to the door. Remus headed for the door too.
"I'm going to pack. I expect Dumbledore will move us as far apart as possible. I'll need most of tomorrow for traveling."
"You should have held out for better conditions, Moony," Sirius chided.
"Yeah, a luxury flat, perhaps." James smiled up at the werewolf.
He chuckled. "You may have gotten it. Me, I owe Dumbledore too much already. I'll be happy with a roof that doesn't leak and two square meals."
You deserve better. James returned the sad smile, "Alright, Moony," he said. "Suit yourself." Remus nodded and left for his guest room.
Sirius crept up on Lily's other side, almost unsure of his welcome. James watched him. He bent low and kissed Lily on the head. He stayed bent over, meeting James' gaze. "You'll let me know if you need anything?" he asked.
"Of course, Sirius," Lily whispered. "I think, right now, I only want sleep." Sirius smiled and straightened up.
"Now, Prongs, I don't want to catch word that Dumbledore is setting my visits through you. That will make me very angry." His smile reached everywhere except his eyes. His eyes had grown stone-cold.
"Never, Padfoot." It may be what Dumbledore is thinking, but I won't do it. Sirius returned to James' side of the bed, kneeling down to put his face close to Harry's.
"I'll see you soon, Harry. Sleep well." He laid a soft kiss on Harry's head. Harry stirred, but did not wake.
James smiled up at him as he rose. "We'll be baptizing him in August. Think you can make it? I'll let you know the exact place and time."
Sirius stared at him for a second. "I'm his Godfather. I have to be there." He pulled up, startled, "I have to have gifts for him." He turned for the door, "Goodnight Lily," he said. "See you in the morning, Prongs."
One last time. One last morning to pretend. "Yes, Padfoot, you will," he whispered.
It was late. The summer night drew close around the small cottage. Lily lay propped up on several pillows. Her breathing had slowed as the contraction ended. The mid-wife smiled. "That wasn't so bad," she whispered. The lights, like the voices, were soft and dim. James leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Lily's cheek. She smiled weakly. The mid-wife had set a spell to take away the sharpest pain. But there was no way to take all of it. If I had known what this was going to put you through. James smiled softly, sadly. You're the bravest of us all, my sweet Lily.
Her eyes narrowed and she clamped down hard on James' wrist as a new wave of pain started. Reminding her to breathe seemed insignificant. "It's okay; you're doing it," he whispered, leaning close to her. She panted and blew, her breath hot against his face. A soft cry of pain escaped her lips.
"Okay, Lily," the mid-wife said. "We're almost done, the hard part's nearly over."
James chuckled. "I thought the hard part was raising them," he breathed. Lily laughed around the pain.
The mid-wife surveyed him, "I meant that he's coming, the next push will have his head out."
"His head? Push Lily, push!" James winced as she squeezed his wrist, the bones popping. Lily gave a final effort and lay back, panting. Her eyes held pain as they usually held laughter. James focused on her eyes. "We're almost done," he said, "You can rest in just a minute."
"Okay, Lily," the mid-wife said. "One more push, he's looking good. One slow push for his shoulders." Lily's gasps came quick, tinged with cries of pain.
"I love you, Lily," James placed his forehead to hers, "I love you. You can do this, you can."
Somewhere below them, a door slammed. James held Lily's gaze. There were shouts. Remus and Sirius. Lily's gaze flicked to the bedroom door. "Look at me, Lily," James said. Her deep-green eyes pulled back to meet his hazel ones. She bore down again. More shouts, the sound of breaking glass sliced through the house.
"Sir?" the mid-wife asked.
"It's taken care of," James said. "You just do your job." My friends will do theirs. Lily's breath slowed, the wave of pain passing.
The mid-wife bustled around behind him; small sounds, alien sounds issuing forth. "Your son, sir," the mid-wife said. James spun around, looking up. The mid-wife placed the tiny creature upon Lily's chest. "Your son, Lily," she whispered, smiling.
A surprised laugh burst from Lily. She released James' wrist and embraced the newborn before her. A white numbness engulfed James. My son? The mid-wife had washed the worst of the fluid from the baby and wrapped a white blanket around him before handing him to Lily. It started crying, a look of pain on the tiny, red face. My son. James laughed. The baby cried louder.
A huge crash shook the house. Lily pulled her baby close. "James?" she breathed. He looked at the mid-wife.
"Are we done?"
"One more thing, the after-birth. You can go. Most fathers can't handle this part, anyway," she said.
"Be right back," he promised, kissing Lily's forehead. He bent over and kissed the soft top of Harry's head. My son!
James drew his wand as he rushed from the room. He tip-toed down the hall to the stairway. Peter crouched at the foot of the stairs. His wand lit the gloom. Beyond its weak light, darkness shrouded the first floor. "Wormtail," James hissed. The short man jumped, spinning towards him.
"Oh, James. How's Lily?"
"She's fine. What's the situation?"
"At least five Death Eaters. There may be more outside. Remus and Sirius led them towards the backyard."
"All five left?"
"I think so."
"Stay here, Wormtail." James slid past him, giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. He crept through the dark house, checking every dark corner; opening every closet and cupboard. The backdoor hung from a single hinge. James pushed through it.
A green spell burst against the wall beside him. James dove for the shadows to the right, landing beside the porch. He rolled to a stop and scanned the backyard.
"Prongs!" Sirius shouted from the other side of the porch.
A cloaked figure ran between two trees at the edge of the thicket. James set his wand, ready to let a spell fly. "Prongs! There are two to your right!" Sirius shouted.
James pivoted towards the side of the house. A green spell flew at his head! He threw himself to the ground, his own spell flying wild. Two more shafts of green light sped towards him. James lunged forward. The spells hit the ground at his feet. Dirt and sod flew outward, sprinkling the area.
James lay at the Death Eaters' feet. Rolling to his left, he shot two impediment jinxes at his assailants. The closest one dodged, throwing himself backwards. His companion caught both jinxes squarely in the chest. He froze, his wand up. James gained his feet and rushed forward, closing the distance between himself and the remaining Death Eater. The Death Eater charged into him.
They lunged for each other's throats, trying to bring their wands to bear. James back-handed the Death Eater, rocking his hooded head back. "Impedimenta!" he hissed. The jinx slammed into his opponent, sending him stiffly to the ground.
Struggling for breath, James bound the two Death Eaters and turned back towards the backyard. Remus! His friend lay near the wand-tree sapling, flinging his arms and legs violently. "No!" James raced forward. There had to be eye-contact! Sirius had two Death Eaters on the ground as well. He was shouting something at two others. His haughty stance barely registered in James' head. He had to find the dark wizard that had Remus! It wasn't any in the yard!
"Protego!" James threw a shield over Remus, hoping it would help. He ran for the trees behind his house. A green spell burst beside him, singeing his arm, as he entered the thicket. A numbing pain traveled up his arm, making it hard to keep hold of his wand. He threw himself away from the spell.
"Potter!" He pulled up short. A wand tip brushed against his eye lashes as he blinked in the darkness. A Death Eater stood before him. A sly chuckle wafted from the hood. "And now I have you. You and your friends have been a pain in the Dark Lord's side for too long!" Stupid! Running blindly in here!
No! Not now! James felt a defiant glare settle on his face. "I'm surprised you dared to come," he forced himself to laugh. "I don't think you've brought enough friends! Your forces have been decimated! My friends will have gotten in touch with Dumbledore by now!" He watched the Death Eater fidget nervously. Then he regained his confidence.
"That's not true. Dumbledore has forsaken his three rebellious lieutenants. You've defied him and he has removed his protections!" The Death Eater laughed.
"They have defied me," said a soft voice behind the Death Eater. James sank to his knees. Relief flooded him. I've never been so happy to hear that voice. The body bind spell hit the Death Eater and he toppled to the ground beside James. Dumbledore stepped from the shadows. "Just as I knew they would. But they have not been forsaken."
James closed his eyes, breathing for just a moment. Happy to be breathing. "Dumbledore," he started. He opened his eyes. Three Death Eaters floated immobilized behind the elder wizard. With a swish of his wand, Dumbledore added the fourth Death Eater to his collection. He reached out a hand to James.
With a sigh, James took the offered hand and stood. "You came?"
"Of course. I couldn't let you three dangle in the wind, unprotected, and then not show up to claim my prize."
James grimaced, "You used us," he accused. Dumbledore nodded. "To catch a big fish--," he began.
"You need big bait," James finished.
"This is a war, James. I will use what tools I can. You and your friends presented the opportunity, I capitalized on it. Come now. Let's see how Remus and Sirius are faring." James followed Dumbledore back through the trees. When they reached the yard, the battle had ended.
Remus sat beside the sapling, staring off into the night sky. Sirius was rounding up the immobilized Death Eaters. He stopped when he saw Dumbledore following James out from the woods.
"Hmph!" he crossed his arms over his chest, unveiled anger on his face. "Did you come to gloat?" he spat.
"Never," Dumbledore replied, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I daresay, Sirius, that you have enough attitude for all of us." He nodded to Remus, "No, I came to see what I had caught in my trap."
"In your trap?" Remus asked. But the pieces slid together behind his intelligent eyes. "You set us up!" He glared at Dumbledore.
"No, Remus. I merely took advantage of the situation. I knew Voldemort couldn't resist moving against you three. Especially once he thought you were vulnerable."
"We handled it!" Sirius shouted.
"Oh, you did fine. What do you say, James?" Dumbledore swished his wand and a host of floating Death Eaters joined them from the front of the house. James fell to his knees, his mouth going dry. There are so many of them!
"We would have died," he croaked. He counted them. Twenty-four!
"Oh, Prongs," Sirius breathed. Had Dumbledore let only a few Death Eaters through? Just enough to give us a run for our money?
A fine trembling started in James' hands. "I just wanted to be normal," he said. "I just wanted the life I should have had." He felt tears in his eyes. "I wanted to pretend. I still want to pretend." The tears slid silently down his cheeks. "Just for a while."
Dumbledore laid a soft hand on his head. "Surely, James, you see now that that is only a dream." A beautiful dream, forever denied me. He nodded in reply.
"Oh, James," Remus said, "Look at what we almost did. What would have happened to Lily and Harry? We can't do this. Never again."
"Well I'm not ready to give up!" Sirius raged, "I had this covered!"
"Of course you did," Dumbledore said with a sideways wink to James. "Two dozen Death Eaters are nothing to you." Sirius' bravado melted. Anger rose in its place but he held his tongue.
"Now. I am willing to take you three back with the following conditions." Conditions? James frowned. He has us now for certain. There's no getting away. Not with my family at stake. "You will spend this last night together." Dumbledore continued. "Tomorrow, I will send three owls with three new addresses. You will move to those new homes by sunset. And there will be no more nonsense about divulging each other's whereabouts and moving in together.
"Once a month we will arrange visitation with Harry and Sirius. A visitation privilege that I will revoke if you give me too much grief," he cautioned as Sirius opened his mouth. With a glare, Sirius clamped down on his unsaid words. "You will follow my instructions, to the letter. And you will fight tirelessly against Voldemort, just as you always have.
"In exchange for these services, I extend to you, my protection." Dumbledore held out a hand, palm up. Three jelly beans lay there. Remus rose and took one. With a sigh, he popped it into his mouth and chewed. James took one. It's only symbolic There's nothing to it. Damn you Dumbledore! He glared up at the old wizard.
"You have me, well and good. Without my family, I would leave."
"I don't doubt that you feel that way, James."
"Then don't doubt that I would act on those feelings. I have once. And I would again. Were it just me, I'd take my chances against the Death Eaters." He met Dumbledore's gaze, unblinking.
The old wizard nodded slowly. He bowed his gray head as James ate the candy.
Sirius strode over. Anger crackled around him. He stood nose to nose with the elder Dumbledore. Icy gray eyes bore into the twinkling blue ones. "You will not set my visitations with Harry! He is my Godson and I will see him whenever I please! You do not dictate my terms of service, Dumbledore! I serve James and only James! He will set my terms!" Sirius turned from the old wizard and stared down at James; still kneeling in the grass.
"Just eat the jelly bean, Sirius," James said.
"If you insist," Sirius said, bowing regally to James before turning and reaching for the candy.
Dumbledore pulled his hand away. "You will limit your visits with Harry to once a month, the date and time to be set by James. Any more often than once a month and you will attract too much attention again. And I promise you, all of you, that I will not save you a second time. If I must go through James to 'hire' you, Mr. Black, then I will." He held out the candy again.
"You know you can't win this war without me," Sirius hissed.
"I definitely wouldn't want to try," Dumbledore smiled. Sirius opened his mouth to say more then stopped. With a curt nod, he took the candy and ate it.
"Right," Dumbledore continued, "I'll leave you to it. I have some paperwork to get to." He rounded up the two dozen Death Eaters and walked slowly out to the road.
Remus and Sirius knelt beside James. They sat together in silence for a long time.
"I bet we could dig this up, no problem," Sirius said, laying a hand on the sapling. Remus sighed.
"No," James said. "We'll leave it here. This is my family home. We'll be back once Voldemort's gone." A new goal then. I will find that abomination and I will kill him. And when he's gone, I can live in peace.
"Let's go check on Lily," Remus said, stiffly regaining his feet. They helped each other up and returned to the house.
"I think we had a good showing," Sirius said as they worked their way back through the house and up the stairs. Peter had left the stairwell. He's with Lily.
"Peter?" James called, knocking on the closed bedroom door. He opened it slowly, peering in at a tired Lily and a beaming Peter.
"James!" Peter stage-whispered, "He's beautiful! A little angel. He's sleeping, come see." The three friends filed in. Sirius and Remus crowded close to Peter; leaning over him as he sat at the head of the bed. James sat beside him, taking Lily's hand.
She smiled sadly, "Peter said that Dumbledore was here." James swallowed hard before nodding. "He saved us, right?" Again James nodded.
"We have to move tomorrow," he told her, "He's finding us a new house tonight." She sighed and nodded.
"Here, Remus," Peter said, handing Harry up to him. "He's waking up." Sirius and Remus cooed and babbled inches away from the baby's face. "He's so little," Remus whispered, smiling up at Lily and James.
"He has my eyes," Sirius said, elated.
"What?" James looked up at him.
"Well, they're gray."
"You git," Remus said, shoving him with a shoulder, "All newborns have gray eyes."
"Oooo, you know so much," Sirius laughed, quietly.
"As a matter of fact, I do," Remus answered. He started babbling at the baby. "Yes, I do. That stupid git. You have Lily's eyes. Yes you do."
"And the mid-wife?" James asked, ignoring the two grown men fussing over his son.
"She left as soon as she could," Lily said. "She said to rest and let you take care of the baby tonight. Though she didn't seem sure that you'd be back." She smiled and chuckled at the scene at the foot of the bed. James turned.
Remus had handed the baby to Sirius. His thin face shone beneath his wild black hair. "He's so tiny," he said. "Look at his nose, his fingers. Oh, he's smiling at me, look Moony." Remus nodded. "Do you know what today is?" Sirius asked the baby, nose to nose. "It's your birthday. Yes it is," he pitched his voice high and soft. "It's your birthday." Harry reached out and Sirius laid a finger in his palm. "Oh, you're so strong. Just like your father. Yes you are. Shall we sing then? You'd like that?"
"Oh, no." Remus turned to James, "Stop him, please." He strode back towards Sirius. "Anything but your singing. Please, Sirius." Peter chuckled. Sirius looked up for a brief second, before turning back to Harry.
"Happy birthday to you," he crooned, just slightly off-key and throaty. He spun slowly at the foot of the bed.
"Too late!" Remus lamented, burying his face in his hands and plugging his ears.
"Happy birthday to you," Sirius rocked Harry in the crook of his elbow. "Happy birthday dear Harry," he drew out the name, "Happy birthday tooo, youuu."
Remus let out a soft howl on the last note. James' smile came back. "It wasn't so bad," he critiqued.
"Not so bad!" Remus stage-shouted, "There'll be dogs from here to London struck deaf by that voice."
"You're just jealous. I've heard your singing voice too," Sirius said as James, Peter and Lily laughed quietly. "Besides, Harry liked it, he fell asleep." Sirius returned the sleeping baby to James.
"Check for a heartbeat," Remus murmured. "That song may have done him in."
James studied the sleeping baby in his arms. Harry. Everything I am is sleeping here in my arms. Everything I dreamed of doing, but didn't get to do, everything I've done so far. It's all here, lying in my arms. And he likes Sirius' singing. James smiled sadly.
"Thanks, Wormtail," he whispered. "Thank-you for watching our backs, protecting this precious soul."
"Anytime, James, anytime," Peter beamed. He stood. "I ought to go. It's way past my bedtime." He gave a wheezy chuckle and patted Remus on the shoulder. "Take care, Moony."
"Will do," Remus promised, clapping him on the arm.
"Sirius," Peter nodded towards the taller man.
"Goodnight, Wormtail," Sirius whispered.
"James, Lily. I'll see you soon." He waved as he left the room, showing himself to the door. Remus headed for the door too.
"I'm going to pack. I expect Dumbledore will move us as far apart as possible. I'll need most of tomorrow for traveling."
"You should have held out for better conditions, Moony," Sirius chided.
"Yeah, a luxury flat, perhaps." James smiled up at the werewolf.
He chuckled. "You may have gotten it. Me, I owe Dumbledore too much already. I'll be happy with a roof that doesn't leak and two square meals."
You deserve better. James returned the sad smile, "Alright, Moony," he said. "Suit yourself." Remus nodded and left for his guest room.
Sirius crept up on Lily's other side, almost unsure of his welcome. James watched him. He bent low and kissed Lily on the head. He stayed bent over, meeting James' gaze. "You'll let me know if you need anything?" he asked.
"Of course, Sirius," Lily whispered. "I think, right now, I only want sleep." Sirius smiled and straightened up.
"Now, Prongs, I don't want to catch word that Dumbledore is setting my visits through you. That will make me very angry." His smile reached everywhere except his eyes. His eyes had grown stone-cold.
"Never, Padfoot." It may be what Dumbledore is thinking, but I won't do it. Sirius returned to James' side of the bed, kneeling down to put his face close to Harry's.
"I'll see you soon, Harry. Sleep well." He laid a soft kiss on Harry's head. Harry stirred, but did not wake.
James smiled up at him as he rose. "We'll be baptizing him in August. Think you can make it? I'll let you know the exact place and time."
Sirius stared at him for a second. "I'm his Godfather. I have to be there." He pulled up, startled, "I have to have gifts for him." He turned for the door, "Goodnight Lily," he said. "See you in the morning, Prongs."
One last time. One last morning to pretend. "Yes, Padfoot, you will," he whispered.