Author's Note: If Agent Sands were ever to write a song, it would go something like this (lyrics cover topics of "Forever in the Dark" and "Under Lock and Key"):
Everlasting Curse (I Hate Myself)
I hate my life
I hate my life
I hate myself
But, yet, I don't want another life
I've come too far to throw it all away now
Yet, I despise the mad world that I've created
I feel like I am out of control
No longer can I hold anything in my hands
Neither can I see what's before me
I've been deprived of my view to the world
No windows to stare longingly out of
My soul is famished
Starving for what is more
The mind feels so damn clouded
With all these conflicting thoughts
That I can't seem to sort out
Never will I find an answer to them all
They all want out, but I won't let them
Holding them back will aide
Whatever sanity that I have left to hold onto
My sanctuary, my safe haven to be a brief peace of mind
Had been destroyed so long ago
Leaving only the barren fields and flora to tell their sad tale
Of a person who once resembled something human
I'm not exactly sure when I lost it all
All I do know is that my sanity and innocence have been a long time dead
All of this aimless wandering must come to an end some day
For every little needle of shame
That I feel pricking my weak flesh
Is pure and living torture
That is what I have been resorted to
The pain and suffering that I caused
Has come back to haunt me
And there it will remain
Like an everlasting curse
No longer can I deny the victims
Lie to myself and explain everything away
To delay the lashes that much longer
But they come forth anyways
In never ending waves of sorrow
Is this guilt I feel and why should I care?
All I have ever known was myself
Breaking down never being an option
But why do I even bother to continue
This rage against the machine to feel
To feel what it's like to be truly human
Like all the rest of mankind
What is so wrong about that?
I hate my life
I hate my life
I hate myself
But, yet, still I find no solution
So I will continue to wander this earth
To prevent myself from sinking further into my mad world
Forever, for all eternity as far as I can see
I will always hate my life
Hate my life
Myself
Leave me to burn