This time around, I wrote a poem from Agent Sands' point of view, which is
really dark and can be a bit discomforting while you read it. Mind you, the
mind of a man upon the edge of his sanity is not a pleasant place to be
nor seen. On another note, thanks to RoamingPony for her wonderful reviews
and falling in love with this saga of mine!
sitting amongst broken souls
consuming a liquid warmth to numb their pain
taking in as much as they can bear
i am one who dearly wishes to see my reality vanish
although much of it has alluded me greatly
seeing as that i am blind to the world around me
drinking in this fantasy world helps me to rip away
tear off the painful memories of my forced sin
to temporarily forget that my windows are no more
only to have images flash across my mind as the remainder
of what's left of my imagination
i feel so detached from the world this way
as if i were in a dream but partially awake all the while
floating between existence and sweet relief
indulging in the joy of visions i once had
even when there are nightmares to claw away at my being
i find reality, my life, more horrifying than the latter
having experienced so much death
brought upon by my own hands of creation
or someone before me
at times like those, i place on a mask of cold indifference
to shield away and hide whatever emotion i may feel
either of disgust, joy, or even, fear
but i will never give one the satisfaction so easily
never let another soul know me beyond my set boundaries
some believe me to be inhuman
but i refer to this as control over one's self
never was the type to show weakness
lash out at others who come too close to knowing the truth
truth behind my creative maze of false pretences of myself
a version of me that i show to the world
of a being whose superior to his higher officers
no matter how much of his insanity may have faded into the blue
a shell of a killer and strategist
no more, no less will they ever know
creating intricate little paths of persona
many can the other take
trying to reach my center of mentality
setting many traps for them to fall into
some investigators can fall forever into those traps
never to return to the true me
while i can easily turn others away
make them go back and forth
coming forth with so many miscalculations about me
incredible and hilarious mistakes i find
how unwise to second guess me
or even to go so far as to believe they know this soul
what fools and impudence, i say!
only if they knew to always watch their backs
or it could mean their very lives at stake
even more so when they strike the wrong nerve
crossing me is the last thing they will ever do
i promise you that
although, i don't make many promises that i keep
that is, before i slaughter them, of course!
death is such a final and vital step
that we work towards to prolong our whole miserable lives
now, doesn't that seem depressing?
we live for such a short time
than we decompose in the meanwhile
trying our best to provide our bodies with health
seems feudal at times, no?
sometimes i believe that life can be a waste of time
sounds crazy, i know
just depends on what you plan to do with your life
all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us
so i hear from the wise as i wander through my life
many people i have come across have feared me
and even loathed me
i don't care all that much for them either
they fear cause they don't understand me
for my dark view and beliefs about our world
i'm not exactly complaining, really
just telling it like it is
keeping it real to the ignorant and naive at heart
they must know
it's a right to the land of the free
freedom of speech and be heard
thinking so much about this lifetime grows tiresome
when i sink to this level of mind
i make my way here
to a place where the dreary can down their misery
drown it in a liquid that makes us forget
only for a little borrowed heaven, if you will
this will take forever and all night
in order for this one to forget all he's seen and heard