Written: Saturday, January 17, 2004

Revised: Thursday, October 24, 2013

Underneath my Shivers

Ginny Weasley's Point of View

Chapter Four

I wake up on my side, with the lovely aroma of fresh air and fall leaves. The sun is just beginning to set now and the privacy charm must have faded away during my nap, because I can hear birds chirping in a tree, among other various noises.

I sit up and look around the grounds. I notice that Hermione has camped herself outside, with her books and schoolwork surrounding her. Harry is intently watching Ron and Neville play a chess game, all four of them found things to occupy them while they awaited my awakening.

My eyes don't stop wandering the grounds; I look a few feet from me, over towards the stairs leading to the castle and my attention is drawn to a group of three students that I wouldn't have observed closely in all of the years that I have attended Hogwarts. Of course I have seen them around the school before, but I can't help but feel as if this is the first time that I have truly looked at them.

There are two males and one female in this group, the girl is the one that stands out to me the most; I know that she is the same age as Ron. She has long black hair that is pinned away from her face and she is standing against the stone wall that follows the stairs up like a rail. She is wearing a forest green robe that flows to the ground with an almost water-like appearance; the material is resting on the ground around her feet and it seems as though it has no distinctive end. Her makeup is done in such a way that I couldn't help but appreciate the artistry of it. Her eyes shine with such intensity that it makes me wonder why I have never noticed how stunning she was.

My eyes caught sight of her jewellery and I almost smiled in fascination. Oh what odd, beautiful taste this girl has! It is something I had never laid eyes upon before! Around her neck was a velvet choker, with the most breathtaking white stone tinged with purple.

I was so caught up in her beauty that it took me a moment to realize who she was with. The one male was quite a bit taller than the girl; his blonde hair was mid-length and parted to the left. Maybe it was because I was in a trance already because of the girl's beauty, but I couldn't help but realize how beautiful he looked too. Of course, I knew who this boy was... although, at this moment, he did not look like a mere boy, he looked like a sculpture that was created with nothing less than perfection in mind. In all of the years that I have attended Hogwarts, I have never been brave enough to look at him longer for a second. His family has always frightened me, and I know that my brother's hate for him runs deep, with validity. In this moment, I do not care about any of that. I just want to absorb the sight of him and the two others with him.

As my sight was turning to the third person of the group, my brother called out my name.

"Ginny, er—" He began, awkwardly apologetic.

I had no knowledge that Ron saw that I was awake and my spell was off, that is, until he called my name.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said, still in a sort of trance. "Please, can we not talk about it right now?" I need time to figure out how I can excuse my behaviour and figure out how to live my life without letting anyone know my horrible torture.

He nods, obviously not really wanting to discuss anything either.

There she is again!

It's been five days since I've seen her and I've been finding myself looking for her, without even knowing that I'm doing so.

I don't know her name, but I believe it is safe to assume that she is in Slytherin. Right now she's talking to Draco Malfoy and the other boy that she was with earlier this week.

The other boy's appearance shocks me with excitement; his hair, like the girls, is pitch-black, with perfect waves in his hair that nearly turn in to curls. His eyes are hypnotizing! I swear they must be violet in color. His body is hiding beneath a lovely assortment of layers; a white collared shirt, a green and silver school tie, a grey vest with dark green outline and of course his black school robe. For a moment I get a hungry thought about the possible image of what exactly all of those clothes are hiding from my sight. I have not had a thought like this for a very long time, and I find myself having to swallow a lump in my throat as I gaze towards him.

I find myself walking towards them, not a care or thought of anything else in the world, as if I were in a trance. There must be something they are doing to lure me towards them... Perhaps a spell... But none of them seem to notice my attention is even on them...

"Hey," Harry says, coming towards me from behind.

I stop in my tracks.

"Hey." I say, not trying to be obvious at what I'm doing. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, just heading to Care for Magical Creatures," Harry said, looking down at his books as if adding evidence to his statement.

I frown in thought.

"Don't we have another thirty minutes before any classes start?" I ask, hoping to hell I'm right. I was supposed to serve detention for Snape as soon as I finished eating, but I have been delaying it.

"I promised that I'd help him with the new creatures he got, so I thought I'd get there early." He tells me.

I nod.

Silence.

"Hey," I say, trying my hardest to be casual, "do you know them?" I look pointedly at the three I was observing earlier.

"Of course, Gin. You do too, I am sure. It's Malfoy and his friends." Harry says, looking at me quizzically.

"Well... yes... I know that... but..." I find myself looking at them, no, staring at them and I force myself to look in to Harry's eyes. "But I mean, who are the other two?"

"The girl is Pansy Parkinson, and the other guy is a real creep, his name is Blaise Zabini. I've only actually spoke to them a few times, none of which has been a great experience. He has a tendency to make girls feel uncomfortable, from what Cho tells me." Harry explains, and looks to me, "Listen, Ginny… I'm sure I don't have to warn you that they are a bad crowd to mix with, so you should stay away from them. They're friends of Malfoy, so there's nothing good to expect from them. Even looking at them should hint that they're bad people."

I look to Pansy and she just happens to catch my gaze. Without thinking, I say, "I think they're beautiful."

Harry says something else, to which I don't pay much attention to, and adds that he had better get going.

When Harry is out of sight, Blaise walks up to me as I am walking away and Pansy and Draco stay in the same spot and chat, as if they didn't even notice him leave their presence at all.

I get a little nervous, so I don't bother to look at him; instead I fiddle with my books, hoping that he'll just walk by me. A small bit of me begs for him to come and talk to me, despite my shyness. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, he comes towards me, his eyes fixed on mine, managing to pry my gaze from my books. Oh, his beautiful violet eyes have me in a trance. I am too greedy to look away, because I feel as if this is the only thing that has managed to take my mind off of my cruel reality.

"You were watching us." He says, not really a question, but more of a sentence that he expects me to finish. The way that his voice carried the words made my heart stop momentarily, and made myself question whether I should allow it to beat again, to be in the presence of something so stunning.

"Yes." I say, not really sure of what else to say. I become so uncertain of myself, that I barely trust myself to speak. My stomach is doing flips, and my heart begins to hurt from its constant fluctuations. I cannot believe he is talking to me.

"Does Potter have a plan up his sleeve, or do you just have a fascination with outsiders?" He says in his silky voice.

"I guess the latter," I say, as I stop walking. He does too. I look up at him, since he is quite a bit taller than me. "What do you care, anyway?"

He smiles, though it's not really a smile, it's more of a show of slight amusement. Somehow when a Slytherin smiles, it does not ever seem like the kind of smile that would typically come from any other person.

"Oh, I tend to want to know why people look at me for moments on end, especially girls like you." He answers, in a demeaning sort of way.

But oddly, this way he's looking at me gives me a new excitement, a sort of comfort. It scares me slightly, because I haven't felt this way for nearly a year; not since he came back to my life. I stop and wonder if I ever felt quite this thrilled. Sure, the Gryffindor boy's that I have gone out with in the past were fun and all, but they didn't have the same aura as this boy does. How do I explain it, even to myself?

He's not being rude, despite his words. It seems almost as if he's inviting me to be even more intrigued in them.

"What type of girl do you classify me as, exactly?" I ask. How I manage to speak, I have no clue. I feel as if I cannot breathe. Between the dizzy fluttering of my heart and the buzzing thoughts in my mind, I do not know how I managed to muster anything.

"The innocent type that are frightened by us scary Slytherin's." He answers, with an edge of flippantness.

"Well, you are correct, I suppose," I say, stopping first to think it over. "But people change. Diversity should be embraced, should it not?"

He peers down at me and rests a hand against the wall beside us, then leans towards me so his mouth is right beside my earlobe.

"Yes… but who is it that is changing? The scary Slytherin's, or the innocent little Weasley?" He murmurs, and the heat from his breath sends a wave of shivers upon my entire body. I am painfully aware of my breasts movement at this exact moment due to the heavy breath I am taking.

I never experienced sex in the intimate way; I have imagined it, but the only sexual experiences I have had so far have been torturous and unwanted. Because of that, I believed that I would never be aroused… I believed that I would never fantasize about sex again. But here I am, inches away from one of the most handsome wizards that I have ever seen, and I want nothing more than for him to press me against the wall and kiss me, among many other things. I think maybe, if he were to kiss me right now, I would forget all of the horrible things that have happened.

After speaking, he pulls his head back to look me square in the eyes. I look at his beautiful violet eyes and I wonder just how I can ever tear myself away from looking at him.

"Weasley!" The harsh bark of Professor Snape manages to solve my dilemma. I am forced to turn my head and look at the approaching professor.

I look to him, more than a bit intimidated. I almost want to run. He bares the mark of he-who-must-not-be-named; how could I be anything but terrified by his presence?

"Y…yes, sir?" I say, swallowing hard, and without noticing, I take a step back. He sneers in amusement that he still has power over a student as old as I am.

"Are you not supposed to be serving detention for that fowl stunt you pulled?"

The 'fowl trick' he is speaking of is when I vomited in his potion storage room. Just more reason to believe that he's a follower… why else would he make me go down there?

"Sir, I…" I don't want to say that I'm afraid of that room, but I truly am, and I never want to return to it.

"Yes?" He says impatiently.

"Er… can… can I have my brother accompany me while cleaning?" I ask, and flush in embarrassment. The worst of it all is that the boy is still standing here beside me, his eyes still fixed on me.

"Are you scared of the dungeons, Weasley?" Snape asks smugly. I look down at my book, just wishing that he'll drop the subject and give me a more severe punishment, as long as it's not in the dungeons. "The only thing to have the slightest fear of is spiders, and I'm sure you know that your brother is as brave as a hen when it comes to spiders."

I can already feel his rough touch as I lay on the stone cold floor, and it makes me tremble.

"Please, sir—" I whimper, trying my hardest to contain my fear.

"Miss Weasley I suggest that you go serve your detention right this instant before I lock you in the dungeons to make you get over your harebrained fear!" Snape growls, and I jump a little at the tone of his voice.

I don't bother to stay lingering anymore. As I hurry away to the dungeons, I hear Snape make a remark to the three Slytherin's. I don't look back, because I know that tears will soon be streaming down my face. I can't be certain that he will come, but I have a horrible feeling that he'll make an appearance sometime today.