July 1981
The house was an old, brick, two-story monstrosity. Lily cocked her eyebrow at James. "Has Dumbledore lost his mind?" she asked.
"I'm sure it's better on the inside," he reassured her. Taking her by the hand, he led her up the stone steps to the front door. Harry wriggled in his other arm, eager for freedom.
The door opened easily at Lily's touch. Inside, the house was bright and airy. "See?" James held out his free hand, indicating the large foyer. "And Dumbledore's even added decorations."
Banners proclaiming 'Happy Birthday' lined the walls. Streamers and balloons hung from the ceiling. James set Harry down upon the area rug at the center of the drawing room. He wandered over to a bar that had been set up in the far corner of the room.
Lily sighed with obvious relief. "Yes, it is wonderful," she admitted, looking around the room. It glowed with subdued warmth, lending comfort to any weary soul that entered.
James poured two drinks and returned to Lily's side. "I like it," he said. Lily smiled at him. Sweet Lily. He returned the smile.
There was a knock on the door and a wheezy, "Hello?"
"We're here," James called. Peter sidled into the room. "Alright, Wormtail?"
"Fine, thank-you," Peter said as James handed him the second drink. He set his gift down on an end table and smiled. James went to fix himself another drink. "Hiya, Harry," Peter greeted. Harry smiled up at him briefly before returning to the fringe at the edge of the area rug he sat on. "Who else is coming?" he asked, turning away from Harry.
"Just Sirius, as far as I know," James answered.
"Not Dumbledore?"
"He said he'd try, but I'm not expecting him to make it," James replied, returning with his drink. Peter nodded in understanding.
"And how are you, Lily?" Peter asked.
"Tired," she answered with a weary smile. "Always tired."
"She's just looking for a babysitter," James offered. Lily glared at him.
"Oh! I'd be happy to!" he offered, "Anytime!"
"Thank-you, Peter," Lily answered, "But, really, we have Sirius."
"Oh. Alright then. But if you ever need me, you know where to find me," he said.
"I know right where to find you, Wormtail," Sirius added from the doorway, "Always underfoot." James looked up and smiled at his best friend.
"Wee Wee!" Harry called excitedly. The adults all turned towards him. He had pulled himself up to a standing position against a beige sofa. He turned towards Sirius and stepped away form his support. James held his breath and grabbed Lily by the arm. Come on! Harry wobbled, dangerously close to falling, "Wee Wee!" he cried again. He took one step then another towards Sirius.
"James," Lily breathed.
Sirius closed the distance between them and knelt down, arms out. "Come on, Harry," he encouraged. Harry took a tentative half-step, and then fell backwards onto his bottom. Applause broke out around him. Startled, Harry looked over at James and smiled.
"Da, da, da!" he crooned.
"Harry!" Sirius cried, rising. He scooped him up and tossed him into the air. "That was so close!" Lily gasped as Sirius caught him.
"Sirius!" she scolded.
"Did you see him?!" he asked, grinning ear to ear, grey eyes sparkling, "Did you?"
"I see you tossing my baby around!" Lily continued.
James chuckled, "Yes, we saw," he said.
"Did you hear him?" Peter asked. "He called you 'Wee Wee," he said to Sirius.
Sirius shrugged, "He's been saying my name for a couple weeks now."
"Oh?" Peter said. He shrugged as well and turned away. Sirius set his gift down beside Peter's.
"Well," he said, turning his attention to James. "What's first? Shall we play party games?"
"I think dinner first," Lily said. "I'll see what Dumbledore has prepared." She hesitated, "Peter," she said at last, "Will you help me in the kitchen?"
"Yes, of course," he said. But she wanted to ask for Remus. Guilt stabbed at James, a pang of loss like a knife wound to his gut. Oh, Remus, why?
"What is it?" Sirius asked as the other two left.
James smiled. You could always tell. Sometimes you know when my mood has changed before I do. He ruffled Harry's hair before answering. "Lily almost asked for Remus' help in the kitchen," he said. Sirius' anger crackled to the surface.
"Have you changed your mind?" he asked, "about him?"
James shook his head, "No," he said. Though sometimes, I lay awake at night and wonder. I wish I knew where I went wrong. What did I do to deserve this hand that I've been dealt? Could I have been so terrible? "But today is supposed to be a happy day." He forced a smile. Sirius nodded his agreement.
"Alright then," he said, clapping James on the shoulder. "You're right. Enough dwelling. Let's eat!" Sirius carried Harry into the dining room with James following.
The table was set with a selection of dishes, steak and kidney pie, chicken legs, roast beef. Fresh fruit and steamed vegetables highlighted the display. Joyously, they sat down to the feast. As they ate, Lily remin9isced about the past year with Harry. Half-way through the food before them, the party was interrupted by a large brown owl. It flew in through the chimney, blowing soot behind it and alighted on the table in front of James. There was a scroll and a small box attached to its leg.
James stared at it, unmoving. The owl stared back and held out the package for him. Numbly, James took the scroll. When he unrolled it, Remus' handwriting greeted him.
James,
What could I say to make you trust me again? I have no further evidence. I would never have betrayed you, Harry or Lily. You are my best friend and have been since that first day on the Hogwarts Express. That you choose Sirius' take on events over mine is understandable and I can't say I blame you.
I have sent along a present for Harry, in honor of the love I have for him.
And for you.
Remus J. Lupin
James read the note through twice before anyone interrupted him. "Who's it from?" Sirius asked.
"James, what is it?" Lily asked, her voice brimming with concern. I shouldn't tell them. 'In honor of the love I have for him. And for you.' He could feel the tears gathering.
"Well," Peter prodded.
"It's from Remus," he answered.
"Send it back," Sirius hissed. He went to grab the package.
"No,' James said. He held up a hand to stop Sirius.
"Oh, James," Lily commiserated. She has never believed he was the one. "We should open it at least. See what it is." She too reached for the package.
"And what if it's cursed?!" Sirius raged. "Send it back!" He clenched his fists and glared at all of them in turn.
Remus, you were my best friend too. You and Sirius. All I've done for you. To you. The last thought echoed through him, to you. But I couldn't be wrong, could I? I baited him and he took the bait! 'What could I say to make you trust me again?' Nothing? Anything?
"Well," Lily said, reaching for the package again.
"No!" Sirius shouted, hesitant to move closer. "Lily!"
"Lily--" James started.
"I'll open it," she said, interrupting James. She pulled the package from the owl before either of them could stop her. Her hands flew and she held up a new pair of shoes. Little white cross-trainers with red trim. She dropped them to the table with a half-laugh, half-sob crawling from her throat.
"They could be cursed," Sirius continued, glaring. James stared at him. It's true. They could be cursed. "At least let someone check them for spells before letting Harry wear them," Sirius pouted. James nodded and picked them up.
"I'm with Sirius on this one," Peter added. "Who knows what vile spell he put on them?"
"There is no spell on them," Lily protested. Tears fell from her bright green eyes.
"Even after being exposed, he could still be after poor Harry," Peter continued, ignoring Lily. James glared at him. Peter subsided under his steady gaze.
"We don't know that there is a spell," James said. "I'll have one of the Aurors check them," he added hastily to head off Sirius' next tirade.
Sirius folded his arms over his chest, "Fine," he hissed.
James forced a smile as the owl flew off, at last rid of its burdens. They returned to the meal. Darkness fell beyond the cheery warmth of the room. When the food was gone, Sirius and Peter presented their gifts to Harry.
He smiled at the shiny wrapping, tossing a hesitant look at his mother first, he picked up the present and shook it. "Open it," Sirius encouraged. He tore a hole in the paper, revealing the contents just enough for Harry to see there was more to it than crinkle-paper. Interested, Harry pulled at the fuzzy whiteness.
James reached in and opened the package further. "And Peter's present is. . ." he announced. Lily laughed.
"The suspense is killing me," Peter breathed. Harry pulled the paper away to reveal a snow-white teddy bear.
"A teddy!" James finished. Applause rang through the room. Harry hugged the bear close.
"Look, one more," Sirius said, starting a tear in his package as well.
"Where are your presents?" Peter asked James.
"Lily gave them to him this morning."
"I couldn't wait," she laughed.
"We gave him a bunch of toys and clothes," James said.
"And a new coat," Lily added. James nodded. "His old one was so small. It seems silly to give him a coat in the middle of summer, but it was on sale and it'll be winter again before we know it."
"Hey!" Sirius barked. The three chatting friends turned back to him and Harry. Harry had the blue wrapping paper nearly off. Inside was a green dragon pull-toy.
"Oh, Sirius, it's adorable!" Lily exclaimed, "And he's so close to walking."
"Watch Harry," Sirius said. He took the toy from its package and set it down on the floor. When he pulled it along, the dragon's eyes glowed green and its head bobbed up and down. Harry laughed and took the toy from Sirius.
"Thank-you both," Lily said. "I'm so glad you could come."
"Well, I've had a lovely time, as always, Lily," Peter said. 'I'm afraid, though, that it's closing in on my bedtime."
"Harry's too," James added. It has been a wonderful evening. "Do you reckon Dumbledore will have someone pop in and clean or shall we?"
"Let's all lend a hand," Sirius said, pulling out his wand. Before him, Harry gave a long, long yawn.
James and Lily laughed. "Someone's tired," James said. Peter pulled out his own wand as well and started for the dining room. 'You go on and take him home, Lil," he said. I'll stay here and clean."
"Are you sure?" she asked. James nodded smiled. "Alright then." She took out her return portkey. Picking up Harry, she held him close. With a grateful smile, she was whisked away.
"Why don't you go too?" Sirius suggested. "I'll finish up with Peter." He looked at him pointedly, "I know you don't want Lily and Harry alone. So, go."
"Well," he hesitated. You're right, Padfoot. "Okay. See you in a few then."
"I'll try not to wake Harry," he chimed in. James smiled before disapparating.
Lily was sitting in her rocking chair in the corner of the bedroom when he arrived. "Harry asleep?" he whispered.
"Almost," she answered.
He crossed to her. Sweet Lily. Bending forward, he kissed her softly. "I love you," he breathed against her skin.
"I love you too." She sighed, "It really was a lovely day, wasn't it?"
"Yes. It was," he said. Straightening, he started removing his robes.
"Oh!" Lily cried, putting a hand in her pocket.
"What?"
"I forgot to give Sirius the shopping list."
James chuckled. "You had me worried," he said, his hands moving again.
"No," he wanted to go first thing tomorrow. I'll just pop over and give it to him now." She stood.
"Why now?"
"Well," she hesitated, "Well so he won't disturb us," she said at last, a hint of a giggle in her voice.
"Oh." James smiled at her. Right! "Hurry back," he added. She returned the smile, pulled out her wand and disappeared.
Five minutes later, James was still waiting. Merlin! She must be helping Sirius finish the kitchen. Hmph, she is vulnerable to his charm after all. He moved from the rocking chair to the bed. The clock on the bedside table showed ten minutes before midnight. He watched the minutes tick y. Surely she's been long enough. What is she doing? Washing the dishes by hand? He climbed out of bed. The clock struck midnight. James paced into the nursery. Harry lay asleep in his crib.
Come on, Lil! What's wrong?! He looked down at Harry. I can't even go look for you! God, please keep her safe. Please bring her home. Panic was growing inside him, along with anger at his inability to go in search of her. He went back to the bedroom and shuffled through his drawers. Come on! Where is it? His hand closed on the cool glass and he pulled out his two-way mirror.
"Padfoot?" he breathed across it. There was no answer. Why would there be? It's probably in his room downstairs. And obviously, he's not. Pacing back into the nursery, he checked the clock again, sure that an hour had gone by. Twelve-fifteen. Lily! Come on! Something's happened! I know it! God! He kicked the wall, rattling the portrait hanging there. Harry startled in his sleep, flinging his arms wide. James held his breath as Harry drifted back to sleep. With a sigh, he lowered himself into the nursery rocker, laying his head in his hands. The silence around him weighed heavy on his heart and echoed through him. Harry's deep, rapid breaths were the only sound.
A sudden CRACK startled James awake. He looked around. Harry still slept in his crib, the room awash in a pale blue light. "James?" Lily called from somewhere downstairs. James stood. He could hear her running up the stairs. About time!He rushed out into the hall.
"Where have you been?" he asked. The anger died when he saw her. She threw herself into his arms. She was crying; great, ragged sobs. Her hair was tangled and knotted, matted. James ran a hand over her head. Thick, sticky blood coated his hand. Panic burst over him. "Lily?" he pulled her away, looking hard at her. She was pale, cut and bleeding in places, her robes torn and scorched. "What happened?" he breathed.
"It's Sirius," she sobbed, "James, he's in St. Mungos."