"Two of your companions have already come into the realm
of Lothlorien, in need of our aid, yet standing before me I count only
eight of the nine that originally left Lothlorien." said Celeborn as he
looked at the fellowship. "Where is Gandalf, I greatly wish to speak with
him."
" The gray has fallen into shadow," said Galadreil as she looked at Frodo.
"The fellowship stands on the edge of a knife, stray but a little and it shall fail, to the ruin of all."
Caitlin now knew that she was one of those many who would die should the fellowship fail, and as Galadriel continued, her thoughts took precedence and she could not ignore them. She thought back to Galadreils words.
Galadriel had said Caitlin had a task, something to change. Something that in the movie had gone on without changing the outcome of the story. It wasn't enough that she didn't know what that task was or even how she was going to change it or even if she would survive long enough to change it. But the thing she really had to be weary of was that in her search for whatever she had to do, everything she changed could potentially change the entire story, anything she did could change everything. Even the task she had to fulfill would change depending on her actions.
She heard Galadriel speak further, about things Caitlin knew and had heard in the movie, but then she spoke of more.
"And it was not by chance that your new companion found you, nor that she ended up here earlier than expected." Galadriel looked at Caitlin and smiled. "For her fate is tied to your own. She is from a distant land, brought through space and time to help the fellowship, her knowledge will help you through much strife, though she must be wise and sparing when she speaks of her foresight. Do not be fooled by the youth in her face, for she must carry a burden that those of old have struggled through for thousands of years."
Galadriel stepped down and walked close so that she faced Caitlin. "She will join your fellowship, and continue on with you to Mordor and the destruction of the ring...or whatever end may take this quest."
She spoke more and invited them all to rest and regain their sleep and strength.
Later they walked again down the spiral stair, to make camp, and rest.
Caitlin stepped again onto the grass, where the camp was set, most were preparing for the well-earned rest that night. Merry and pippin. Sam and Frodo were all grouped together, in beds that were close to each other. They all seemed more subdued than they would normally be as they made up their beds and arraigned their things in silence, filled with the memory of Gandalf. Caitlin could not see Boromir or Aragorn as she looked around the camp. Gimli was sharpening his axe while sitting on a bench close by the bed he had clamed for himself. Legolas was no where to be found, and as she walked among her companions, Caitlin found the peace she had formerly found in these very spaces lost in an air that now was thick with grief. The elves were singing, singing of Gandalf, their voices seeped into her, she heard them, and felt them.
Caitlin found her breath short, as if the intensity of emotion around her was choking her. If it had been anything other than the false death of Gandalf she would have been able to handle her friends feeling so sad, she would have known the words to comfort them, and found some comfort herself in the knowledge that she could share in their pain. But this was unbearable, to have the capacity, the knowledge to relieve their suffering but be unable to tell them anything, that was worse. She had no out, no way of allowing herself to be all right with their pain. She kept turning it over and over in her head. Would it really be so bad to tell them he lived and they would see him again? She kept on justifying it to herself and deciding it was right to tell them. She even made it so far as to approach Frodo. She stood only a few feet away from him, the words just on the tip of her tongue, but then, always at the last second she would turn away, racked with the fear that this decision would change to much to fast, and kill everyone. She felt the weight of middle earth on her shoulders.
"Caitlin, what is it?" said Frodo, confused at her indecisiveness. "I-its nothing Frodo" she said as she walked off. There was no peace here, no way to feel rest even within such beauty of Lothlorien. She needed to get away and find some peace with this new role; she had never had such responsibility. She walked from the camp, headed in the direction of what she thought might lead her to the springs she and Legolas had earlier visited.
She walked through more trees, more grass. Until the camp behind her was no longer visible. She passed many elves and many places of splendor and she passed them all by. But then she came upon a bridge, and a small stream, the light seemed different here, softer, it was dim. The air seemed filled with mysticism. She knelt down, feeling the grass with her hand, hearing the water bubble softly behind her in the stream.
She sat on the grass and folded her legs under her body in a cross- legged possession. She rested her hands on her lap and straightened her back, as she closed her eyes. She took a deep, slow breath in, feeling her lungs fill with the sweet air. She felt her mind emptying as she centered herself, concentrating on her inner peace. On her inner awareness.
At home, she would meditate every morning, fill herself with peace, find calm before the day. Now, however, she meditated to prepare herself for war, not just the war with Souron, not just war with the orcs or the urukai, but war with her own inner conflicts. She had seen a glimpse at the camp. A small piece of the torment she would feel with every step and every decision she made. Caitlin knew that if she were to succeed she would have to come to terms with her decisions and any consequence they may have. She sat there, in quiet contemplation for a period of time; she was not keeping track of the time, only of herself.
"What is she doing merry?" whispered pippin as he and merry peered at Caitlin from behind a bush. "Do you think she has fallen asleep?"
"How should I know, pipp." He said sinking his body into a sitting position again back behind the bush. "I don't think we should be disturbing her, she seemed so troubled, maybe we should go back to the camp." He said as he looked at the path they had taken from the campsite. "Pippin?" he said when he got no response. He turned to where pippin had stood peering behind a bush to find the spot empty. Merry quickly sat up, seeing pippin slowly sneaking toward Caitlin who remained unmoving in her sitting position. "Pippin, get back here." he said trying at the same time to be quiet and assertive in his speech. But pippin paid no mind, as he slowly came closer and closer to Caitlin. He approached, crouching as he went, until he was about 10 feet away from her. He cupped his hands, and filled his lungs, ready to call out her name.
A hand suddenly cupped around his mouth, surprising his filled lungs, which had been ready to yell. His mouth was forced closed but the air still forced its way out of his lips making him spit and create a sound that resembled an elephant. Pippin was carried silently across the grass back to where merry sat, an angry expression on his face. He was placed back down on the ground, a hand still cupped around his mouth. "I told you not to disturb her pipp." He said with an angry tone in his voice. Pippins mouth was released and he turned to look at the man that had stopped him. "What was in your head halfling? You should not disturb those who have chosen solitude such as this, especially in these dark times." Said Legolas.
"But what if she has fallen asleep, I wouldn't want to sleep here, it looks terribly uncomfortable to be asleep sitting up." He said looking again at Caitlin as she sat.
" She does not sleep, little hobbit, she is in a state of contemplation. One, which must not be disturbed. Go now to the camp and rest your minds in sleep."
Pippin opened his mouth to speak again in protest but Legolas put his hand up. "There will be time for your questions and curiosity later, I ask now only that you respect the wishes of your friend." He said. The hobbits, though being ever curious, were a species capable of great courtesy and upon Legolas's words happily departed down the path toward their encampment.
Legolas watched as they went back the way they had come, he waited until their figures grew ever smaller down through the trees and he could see their figures no more.
Then he turned, looking at Caitlin. He walked silently over to the bridge just beyond where she sat; he rested himself there, sitting so that his back leaned against the bridges post. Caitlin faced away from him, her back perfectly straight, her hair flowing down and just touching the tips of the blades of grass that she sat on.
Legolas knew of meditation, though he did not know it by such a name, it was the state of consciousness when everything is clear and all is open. Elves had practiced this in the time before they entered middle earth and their race dwelt across the sea. Legolas had never known of a human practicing this open state. Save for Caitlin.
Legolas knew that Caitlin could be in meditation for anywhere from several minutes to hours, but he sat in silence awaiting her.
Pippin and merry came into the camp, merry still angry at pippin who was silent.
"Where have you been?" said Gimli who got up and greeted their return. Pippin was reluctant to speak and kept silent while merry approached Gimli. "We followed Caitlin when she left the camp, but we then felt like we were spying and decided to leave her with her privacy." He said looking sternly at pippin.
"Eye, that was the correct thing to do, I feel we should leave the lass to her peace, when we were setting up the camp, she did not seem to have the spark of happiness I saw when we first met."
"Yes, I agree Gimli, but then I don't think I knew her well enough to recognize the difference Said merry.
Gimli looked angry at merrys words, and his words became heated with frustration. "Ah, oh how could ye say that young hobbit?! Did ye not see her fight, she is our friend, and now our companion." He said. Pippin had been silent all this time but spoke up suddenly. "You have great affection for her don't you." Said pippin.
Gimli looked at pippin and merry, "eye, of course I do, I saw her drop from the sky. I watched her fight along side our company, I watched her dwindle in sickness. Yet look now at how strong and beautiful she has become. Eye, of course, I am honored to call her my friend and companion, how could one not be affected by such a woman."
Pippin and merry both stood silent, the dwarf was more observant than they, for while they liked Caitlin, they did not know her to be so full of the quality as Gimli had observed in her. But upon reflection, they could see how brave she had been, and how kind
"You are right Gimli, she has been a unique addition to our fellowship, it would do us right to keep her fond in our thoughts, right pipp." Said merry turning to pippin. Who nodded his head in agreement?
"Good" said Gimli in a grough voice, "and it would be wise of ye to not speak ill of her." he said raising his axe in friendly jest.
They both laughed, "I wont soon forget that." Said pippin with a smile.
Aragorn and Boromir had returned to the encampment, and both the hobbits and Gimli headed toward their perspective beds, preparing themselves for the night to come.
Legolas had been sitting next to the river for at least an hour while Caitlin sat silently in front of him.
A breeze blew by and Caitlin's long hair blew about her back. Then her head moved, and she began to slowly awaken herself to her body and its position of rest.
Legolas stood, his feet silent, she did not hear him. And Legolas then realized she hadn't heard him this whole time, he watched her slowly move her feet out from under her body, she bent her body forward with her feet lying in front of her as she stretched. She placed her hands on the grass, slowly lifting herself up onto her bare feet.
He did not know why he remained silent, why he did not make his presence known. But in those moments as Legolas watched her movement, watched her slowly lift her hands to ruffle her hair. While the light gently danced on her features, while the wind played with the long sleeves of her gown, and golden hair. His breath seemed stolen away.
She yawned and stretched her back. Then turned casually to the bridge, and seeing Legolas there took a startled step back. "H-hi," she said.
"I am sorry for startling you, I should have said something, my apologies." He said tilting his head down in a respectful manor and bending his body a small bit.
"That's quite alright, I have been startled so many times by the silence of elves today that I am yeust to it." She said with a little laugh.
She walked up to him and they both walked across the white wooden bridge. They moved in silence, walking across the short bridge to a small mound.
"What troubles you kate-lin." He asked her.
She stood silent for a moment then took a deep breath and releasing it. "I-I am racked with confusion, Galadriel has said I am to make decisions that will steer the course of this quest. Every move I make shapes the fate of middle earth. I see what will happen, but something I know will happen, I must change, but I don't know what that is. And all the while, everything I do changes the course of the future." She moved over and leaned on the trunk of a tree. " Today at the camp, I became overwhelmed, I couldn't stay there, I had to deal with this. I know if I don't find a peace with my destiny, I will be useless in battle, and fail."
She was weighted with toil, and a responsibility she had never known before, her eyes seemed aged and her mind was racing. Yet Legolas could see in her a genuine quality, he couldn't place his observation, but he could see beneath the thin layer of self-doubt lies a deep well of wisdom and a confident spirit that can accomplish anything. He could also see that this strong woman was who she normally was, but this new extreme reality of middle earth and now this awesome responsibility, removed from the surface her inner strength.
Legolas had been listening intently, and when she was finished
he stood silent for a long time. " Your decisions and actions
may have more consequences than you are used to and they may be
more important, yet you still can do only what you can do, be
what you are, grow when you can, and know you have done all that
was in you to do. None can expect more than that" his words were
raspy and shallow in his voice. They spoke truth and wisdom, and
that which Caitlin had been feeling but could not put into
words. He was right, she couldn't worry about her decisions, she
could only make them and hope they were the right ones.
She smiled at his words as he spoke them. Her face filled with
understanding. His words were true and though it would take some
time for them to soak in, she could feel her self-dought falter
and her strength return.
"Thank you Legolas." She said. As she walked again onto the
bridge with him. She felt her wisdom was still far outweighed by
her questions and all that was unknown to her, but she felt that
she could slowly come to understand her new role, and concur its
challenges.
"So where are we?" she asked, looking around her at the bridge and the mound of grass that lay beyond it.
"This is called Lorien," he said.
She gasped. "Oh my gosh, Lorien." She said again with astonishment.
Legolas didn't understand her reaction. "Yes." He said looking at her questioningly. "Why do you look so astonished?"
"This is the spot where Aragorn son of Arathorn met Arwen, daughter of Elrond. Where they first laid eyes upon each other, where their love grew to what it is today, where Arwen will one day.." She had to stop herself from saying that Arwen would one day be buried here.
Legolas was surprised at the vigor of which she spoke of Aragorn and Arwens love, as if it was a great legend that had been told and retold so many times that its very nature had turned to unthinkable feats of valor and courage.
"Is this story a legend in your land?" he asked her, a curious tone in his voice.
Caitlin touched the smooth railing of the white Lorien bridge, its curving intriquite designs guiding her hand across the woodwork. She closed her eyes, images of the deep unrivaled love between Arwen and Aragorn slowly going through her mind. " Oh yes, it is quite the legend, even more than legend. Love so deep is rarely portrayed in such eloquence as that of the sad tale of true love between the immortal even star Arwen, daughter of Elrond, and the mortal Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir of Elessar, wielder of Isildor." She had become wrapped in the legend as she spoke, every syllable of the names of the great heroes rolling off her tongue as though she had written them herself. The passion of her love of the story, not only of Arwen and Aragorn but of the lord of the rings itself shone through in her expressions and voice as she continued. "The doomed love of an immortal, loving a mortal, and the ties that keep that love strong even in the face of middle earths destruction." As she spoke she remembered, she remembered the very first time she had seen the movies. How her eyes had gone wide, and her heart sore as Arwen had run from the nazgul, and when the ring finally possessed Frodo. She remembered her love of middle earth, not only in legend, not only as words on the page or as motion on the screen, but as something that was inside her. That was, after all why she loved it so much, because it spoke to some wild and graceful part of herself that screamed. 'IM ALIVE, HEAR ME.' Her spirit, in all its strength and wonder, was revealed on the page and screen of this miraculous story of love, tragedy, victory, war and what makes the nature of a king, a good leader. Middle earth was now and forever not only a place of fantasy on a page or captured in the expressions of a movie, not only was it a place she was thrown into but a place that existed inside her heart. She was connected to this world, weather as fan, or participant their was no denying that this was where her spirit could be shown as the warrior it was, strong, beautiful, a true woman, a true hero, a true leader and soldier. This was where she was supposed to be.
Legolas looked at her, seeing how lost in thought she was, and hearing how passionately she had spoken of Aragorn and Arwens love, he fell silent. Allowing her to be lost in thought. She looked out over the stream, her eyes wondering, still seeing Lorien, as if she was seeing it for the first time, and in truth, she was. Up until now she had looked at this world as a surreal experience, she hadn't truly had a chance to be in the moment, live and breath right where she was, in another realm, another place, so completely different from her world, yet so familiar. Her head moved so that her gaze rested on her hands, as they gripped the bridge. Light danced on her fingers, and she gripped the wood harder, her knuckles going white.
"What do you see." He said, his voice not questioning but searching, as though he knew of what her answer would be.
She released her grip and lifted her head to face him. She smiled, a small and loving smile. Her eyes, they had tears in them, water which filled her pupils yet did not fall, they were not tears of sadness, nor of anger, but simply of a vision of the world that she had not seen before, they were tears of wonder and emotion. She lifted her hand, touching his face; he closed his eyes, feeling her warm palm move over his cheek and her fingers touching his ear. Her head moved close to his, her lips close to his face. " I see beauty, and light," she said under her breath. "I see your world, and I see you." She whispered.
" The gray has fallen into shadow," said Galadreil as she looked at Frodo.
"The fellowship stands on the edge of a knife, stray but a little and it shall fail, to the ruin of all."
Caitlin now knew that she was one of those many who would die should the fellowship fail, and as Galadriel continued, her thoughts took precedence and she could not ignore them. She thought back to Galadreils words.
Galadriel had said Caitlin had a task, something to change. Something that in the movie had gone on without changing the outcome of the story. It wasn't enough that she didn't know what that task was or even how she was going to change it or even if she would survive long enough to change it. But the thing she really had to be weary of was that in her search for whatever she had to do, everything she changed could potentially change the entire story, anything she did could change everything. Even the task she had to fulfill would change depending on her actions.
She heard Galadriel speak further, about things Caitlin knew and had heard in the movie, but then she spoke of more.
"And it was not by chance that your new companion found you, nor that she ended up here earlier than expected." Galadriel looked at Caitlin and smiled. "For her fate is tied to your own. She is from a distant land, brought through space and time to help the fellowship, her knowledge will help you through much strife, though she must be wise and sparing when she speaks of her foresight. Do not be fooled by the youth in her face, for she must carry a burden that those of old have struggled through for thousands of years."
Galadriel stepped down and walked close so that she faced Caitlin. "She will join your fellowship, and continue on with you to Mordor and the destruction of the ring...or whatever end may take this quest."
She spoke more and invited them all to rest and regain their sleep and strength.
Later they walked again down the spiral stair, to make camp, and rest.
Caitlin stepped again onto the grass, where the camp was set, most were preparing for the well-earned rest that night. Merry and pippin. Sam and Frodo were all grouped together, in beds that were close to each other. They all seemed more subdued than they would normally be as they made up their beds and arraigned their things in silence, filled with the memory of Gandalf. Caitlin could not see Boromir or Aragorn as she looked around the camp. Gimli was sharpening his axe while sitting on a bench close by the bed he had clamed for himself. Legolas was no where to be found, and as she walked among her companions, Caitlin found the peace she had formerly found in these very spaces lost in an air that now was thick with grief. The elves were singing, singing of Gandalf, their voices seeped into her, she heard them, and felt them.
Caitlin found her breath short, as if the intensity of emotion around her was choking her. If it had been anything other than the false death of Gandalf she would have been able to handle her friends feeling so sad, she would have known the words to comfort them, and found some comfort herself in the knowledge that she could share in their pain. But this was unbearable, to have the capacity, the knowledge to relieve their suffering but be unable to tell them anything, that was worse. She had no out, no way of allowing herself to be all right with their pain. She kept turning it over and over in her head. Would it really be so bad to tell them he lived and they would see him again? She kept on justifying it to herself and deciding it was right to tell them. She even made it so far as to approach Frodo. She stood only a few feet away from him, the words just on the tip of her tongue, but then, always at the last second she would turn away, racked with the fear that this decision would change to much to fast, and kill everyone. She felt the weight of middle earth on her shoulders.
"Caitlin, what is it?" said Frodo, confused at her indecisiveness. "I-its nothing Frodo" she said as she walked off. There was no peace here, no way to feel rest even within such beauty of Lothlorien. She needed to get away and find some peace with this new role; she had never had such responsibility. She walked from the camp, headed in the direction of what she thought might lead her to the springs she and Legolas had earlier visited.
She walked through more trees, more grass. Until the camp behind her was no longer visible. She passed many elves and many places of splendor and she passed them all by. But then she came upon a bridge, and a small stream, the light seemed different here, softer, it was dim. The air seemed filled with mysticism. She knelt down, feeling the grass with her hand, hearing the water bubble softly behind her in the stream.
She sat on the grass and folded her legs under her body in a cross- legged possession. She rested her hands on her lap and straightened her back, as she closed her eyes. She took a deep, slow breath in, feeling her lungs fill with the sweet air. She felt her mind emptying as she centered herself, concentrating on her inner peace. On her inner awareness.
At home, she would meditate every morning, fill herself with peace, find calm before the day. Now, however, she meditated to prepare herself for war, not just the war with Souron, not just war with the orcs or the urukai, but war with her own inner conflicts. She had seen a glimpse at the camp. A small piece of the torment she would feel with every step and every decision she made. Caitlin knew that if she were to succeed she would have to come to terms with her decisions and any consequence they may have. She sat there, in quiet contemplation for a period of time; she was not keeping track of the time, only of herself.
"What is she doing merry?" whispered pippin as he and merry peered at Caitlin from behind a bush. "Do you think she has fallen asleep?"
"How should I know, pipp." He said sinking his body into a sitting position again back behind the bush. "I don't think we should be disturbing her, she seemed so troubled, maybe we should go back to the camp." He said as he looked at the path they had taken from the campsite. "Pippin?" he said when he got no response. He turned to where pippin had stood peering behind a bush to find the spot empty. Merry quickly sat up, seeing pippin slowly sneaking toward Caitlin who remained unmoving in her sitting position. "Pippin, get back here." he said trying at the same time to be quiet and assertive in his speech. But pippin paid no mind, as he slowly came closer and closer to Caitlin. He approached, crouching as he went, until he was about 10 feet away from her. He cupped his hands, and filled his lungs, ready to call out her name.
A hand suddenly cupped around his mouth, surprising his filled lungs, which had been ready to yell. His mouth was forced closed but the air still forced its way out of his lips making him spit and create a sound that resembled an elephant. Pippin was carried silently across the grass back to where merry sat, an angry expression on his face. He was placed back down on the ground, a hand still cupped around his mouth. "I told you not to disturb her pipp." He said with an angry tone in his voice. Pippins mouth was released and he turned to look at the man that had stopped him. "What was in your head halfling? You should not disturb those who have chosen solitude such as this, especially in these dark times." Said Legolas.
"But what if she has fallen asleep, I wouldn't want to sleep here, it looks terribly uncomfortable to be asleep sitting up." He said looking again at Caitlin as she sat.
" She does not sleep, little hobbit, she is in a state of contemplation. One, which must not be disturbed. Go now to the camp and rest your minds in sleep."
Pippin opened his mouth to speak again in protest but Legolas put his hand up. "There will be time for your questions and curiosity later, I ask now only that you respect the wishes of your friend." He said. The hobbits, though being ever curious, were a species capable of great courtesy and upon Legolas's words happily departed down the path toward their encampment.
Legolas watched as they went back the way they had come, he waited until their figures grew ever smaller down through the trees and he could see their figures no more.
Then he turned, looking at Caitlin. He walked silently over to the bridge just beyond where she sat; he rested himself there, sitting so that his back leaned against the bridges post. Caitlin faced away from him, her back perfectly straight, her hair flowing down and just touching the tips of the blades of grass that she sat on.
Legolas knew of meditation, though he did not know it by such a name, it was the state of consciousness when everything is clear and all is open. Elves had practiced this in the time before they entered middle earth and their race dwelt across the sea. Legolas had never known of a human practicing this open state. Save for Caitlin.
Legolas knew that Caitlin could be in meditation for anywhere from several minutes to hours, but he sat in silence awaiting her.
Pippin and merry came into the camp, merry still angry at pippin who was silent.
"Where have you been?" said Gimli who got up and greeted their return. Pippin was reluctant to speak and kept silent while merry approached Gimli. "We followed Caitlin when she left the camp, but we then felt like we were spying and decided to leave her with her privacy." He said looking sternly at pippin.
"Eye, that was the correct thing to do, I feel we should leave the lass to her peace, when we were setting up the camp, she did not seem to have the spark of happiness I saw when we first met."
"Yes, I agree Gimli, but then I don't think I knew her well enough to recognize the difference Said merry.
Gimli looked angry at merrys words, and his words became heated with frustration. "Ah, oh how could ye say that young hobbit?! Did ye not see her fight, she is our friend, and now our companion." He said. Pippin had been silent all this time but spoke up suddenly. "You have great affection for her don't you." Said pippin.
Gimli looked at pippin and merry, "eye, of course I do, I saw her drop from the sky. I watched her fight along side our company, I watched her dwindle in sickness. Yet look now at how strong and beautiful she has become. Eye, of course, I am honored to call her my friend and companion, how could one not be affected by such a woman."
Pippin and merry both stood silent, the dwarf was more observant than they, for while they liked Caitlin, they did not know her to be so full of the quality as Gimli had observed in her. But upon reflection, they could see how brave she had been, and how kind
"You are right Gimli, she has been a unique addition to our fellowship, it would do us right to keep her fond in our thoughts, right pipp." Said merry turning to pippin. Who nodded his head in agreement?
"Good" said Gimli in a grough voice, "and it would be wise of ye to not speak ill of her." he said raising his axe in friendly jest.
They both laughed, "I wont soon forget that." Said pippin with a smile.
Aragorn and Boromir had returned to the encampment, and both the hobbits and Gimli headed toward their perspective beds, preparing themselves for the night to come.
Legolas had been sitting next to the river for at least an hour while Caitlin sat silently in front of him.
A breeze blew by and Caitlin's long hair blew about her back. Then her head moved, and she began to slowly awaken herself to her body and its position of rest.
Legolas stood, his feet silent, she did not hear him. And Legolas then realized she hadn't heard him this whole time, he watched her slowly move her feet out from under her body, she bent her body forward with her feet lying in front of her as she stretched. She placed her hands on the grass, slowly lifting herself up onto her bare feet.
He did not know why he remained silent, why he did not make his presence known. But in those moments as Legolas watched her movement, watched her slowly lift her hands to ruffle her hair. While the light gently danced on her features, while the wind played with the long sleeves of her gown, and golden hair. His breath seemed stolen away.
She yawned and stretched her back. Then turned casually to the bridge, and seeing Legolas there took a startled step back. "H-hi," she said.
"I am sorry for startling you, I should have said something, my apologies." He said tilting his head down in a respectful manor and bending his body a small bit.
"That's quite alright, I have been startled so many times by the silence of elves today that I am yeust to it." She said with a little laugh.
She walked up to him and they both walked across the white wooden bridge. They moved in silence, walking across the short bridge to a small mound.
"What troubles you kate-lin." He asked her.
She stood silent for a moment then took a deep breath and releasing it. "I-I am racked with confusion, Galadriel has said I am to make decisions that will steer the course of this quest. Every move I make shapes the fate of middle earth. I see what will happen, but something I know will happen, I must change, but I don't know what that is. And all the while, everything I do changes the course of the future." She moved over and leaned on the trunk of a tree. " Today at the camp, I became overwhelmed, I couldn't stay there, I had to deal with this. I know if I don't find a peace with my destiny, I will be useless in battle, and fail."
She was weighted with toil, and a responsibility she had never known before, her eyes seemed aged and her mind was racing. Yet Legolas could see in her a genuine quality, he couldn't place his observation, but he could see beneath the thin layer of self-doubt lies a deep well of wisdom and a confident spirit that can accomplish anything. He could also see that this strong woman was who she normally was, but this new extreme reality of middle earth and now this awesome responsibility, removed from the surface her inner strength.
Legolas had been listening intently, and when she was finished
he stood silent for a long time. " Your decisions and actions
may have more consequences than you are used to and they may be
more important, yet you still can do only what you can do, be
what you are, grow when you can, and know you have done all that
was in you to do. None can expect more than that" his words were
raspy and shallow in his voice. They spoke truth and wisdom, and
that which Caitlin had been feeling but could not put into
words. He was right, she couldn't worry about her decisions, she
could only make them and hope they were the right ones.
She smiled at his words as he spoke them. Her face filled with
understanding. His words were true and though it would take some
time for them to soak in, she could feel her self-dought falter
and her strength return.
"Thank you Legolas." She said. As she walked again onto the
bridge with him. She felt her wisdom was still far outweighed by
her questions and all that was unknown to her, but she felt that
she could slowly come to understand her new role, and concur its
challenges.
"So where are we?" she asked, looking around her at the bridge and the mound of grass that lay beyond it.
"This is called Lorien," he said.
She gasped. "Oh my gosh, Lorien." She said again with astonishment.
Legolas didn't understand her reaction. "Yes." He said looking at her questioningly. "Why do you look so astonished?"
"This is the spot where Aragorn son of Arathorn met Arwen, daughter of Elrond. Where they first laid eyes upon each other, where their love grew to what it is today, where Arwen will one day.." She had to stop herself from saying that Arwen would one day be buried here.
Legolas was surprised at the vigor of which she spoke of Aragorn and Arwens love, as if it was a great legend that had been told and retold so many times that its very nature had turned to unthinkable feats of valor and courage.
"Is this story a legend in your land?" he asked her, a curious tone in his voice.
Caitlin touched the smooth railing of the white Lorien bridge, its curving intriquite designs guiding her hand across the woodwork. She closed her eyes, images of the deep unrivaled love between Arwen and Aragorn slowly going through her mind. " Oh yes, it is quite the legend, even more than legend. Love so deep is rarely portrayed in such eloquence as that of the sad tale of true love between the immortal even star Arwen, daughter of Elrond, and the mortal Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir of Elessar, wielder of Isildor." She had become wrapped in the legend as she spoke, every syllable of the names of the great heroes rolling off her tongue as though she had written them herself. The passion of her love of the story, not only of Arwen and Aragorn but of the lord of the rings itself shone through in her expressions and voice as she continued. "The doomed love of an immortal, loving a mortal, and the ties that keep that love strong even in the face of middle earths destruction." As she spoke she remembered, she remembered the very first time she had seen the movies. How her eyes had gone wide, and her heart sore as Arwen had run from the nazgul, and when the ring finally possessed Frodo. She remembered her love of middle earth, not only in legend, not only as words on the page or as motion on the screen, but as something that was inside her. That was, after all why she loved it so much, because it spoke to some wild and graceful part of herself that screamed. 'IM ALIVE, HEAR ME.' Her spirit, in all its strength and wonder, was revealed on the page and screen of this miraculous story of love, tragedy, victory, war and what makes the nature of a king, a good leader. Middle earth was now and forever not only a place of fantasy on a page or captured in the expressions of a movie, not only was it a place she was thrown into but a place that existed inside her heart. She was connected to this world, weather as fan, or participant their was no denying that this was where her spirit could be shown as the warrior it was, strong, beautiful, a true woman, a true hero, a true leader and soldier. This was where she was supposed to be.
Legolas looked at her, seeing how lost in thought she was, and hearing how passionately she had spoken of Aragorn and Arwens love, he fell silent. Allowing her to be lost in thought. She looked out over the stream, her eyes wondering, still seeing Lorien, as if she was seeing it for the first time, and in truth, she was. Up until now she had looked at this world as a surreal experience, she hadn't truly had a chance to be in the moment, live and breath right where she was, in another realm, another place, so completely different from her world, yet so familiar. Her head moved so that her gaze rested on her hands, as they gripped the bridge. Light danced on her fingers, and she gripped the wood harder, her knuckles going white.
"What do you see." He said, his voice not questioning but searching, as though he knew of what her answer would be.
She released her grip and lifted her head to face him. She smiled, a small and loving smile. Her eyes, they had tears in them, water which filled her pupils yet did not fall, they were not tears of sadness, nor of anger, but simply of a vision of the world that she had not seen before, they were tears of wonder and emotion. She lifted her hand, touching his face; he closed his eyes, feeling her warm palm move over his cheek and her fingers touching his ear. Her head moved close to his, her lips close to his face. " I see beauty, and light," she said under her breath. "I see your world, and I see you." She whispered.