TITLE At the End of Chaos
RATING PG-13
SUMMARY Carter and Abby's first date; from Carter's POV
AUTHOR'S NOTE Sorry this has taken so long; I've been busy with many different things. But I'm hoping I can get back in the swing now. There probably isn't too much left for me to write of this one.
DISCLAIMER I don't own carby, but if I did, we all wouldn't be so damned depressed…LOL
CARTER
I am dumbstruck by the change in our relationship. We are finally being honest with each other; no feelings hidden, no fog and mirrors, just John and Abby and our feelings for each other. Brought here to this table at Antonio's, over clam and linguine and lasagna. It feels great.
We spend most of dinner after that initial conversation in silence, smiling at each other in that goofy way you think only people in the movies do. We order the tiramisu, a coffee-flavored dessert that is so inexplicably appropriate for us. I pay the check, and we decide to walk. I take Abby's perfect hand in mine as we saunter out the door, and we begin in silence, meandering a ways before the conversation starts to flow.
"So…wow…graduation must have been pretty amazing," I start, realizing we've never officially talked about this.
"Yeah, it really was. I almost didn't go, but at the last minute I decided to get over myself and celebrate what I'd finally accomplished." She looks out across the street and around at the buildings surrounding us. "It was nice…Susan and Luka, Sam and Alex and her ex were there."
"Maggie and Eric?"
"No. I just…I didn't tell them that I was even back in school until that day. I definitely feel more positive about things, and I'm glad that I've done what I've done. But part of me just worried that if they knew, it would somehow ruin it. So I waited and called Maggie that day to tell her I'd graduated." She looks over at me, smiling, embarrassed. "I guess old habits die hard."
"Oh, I think you had every right to handle things the way you did. And hey, you made up for it by having them here for Thanksgiving." I smile at her reassuringly. I notice a small shiver run down her spine, which she tries to hide. "You cold?"
"Uh…yeah, I am, a little."
"Well, let's get back to the car, then. I'll take you home." I rub her hand in mine as we turn around, heading back to my jeep.
"Are you sure? I don't want to end our night early just because I'm a wimp," she says, laughing.
"It's fine. We'll have other nights, right?" I look at her expectantly.
"Oh, you expect a second date?" Her eyes dance with her joking.
"Well, I was hoping the lady would oblige me…" I say, bowing my head slightly as we approach the passenger side door to my car.
"We'll have to see," she replies, and gets into the car.
"And what can I do to earn this second date?" I say, before closing her door.
"I said we'll have to see," she responds, pulling the door closed and out of my hands. And with that I walk to my side of the car and get in.
As soon as the car is started, she reaches over and begins playing with the radio dial, something I'd forgotten was a habit of hers that I loved to hate. But in the spirit of our "first date", I decide to end her game.
"Uh-uh-uh, Dr. Lockhart. I don't recommend messing with a man's radio in his car on a first date. That's a good way to ensure no second date." She pulls her hand to her mouth, startled, and I laugh.
"Oh! I forgot. I'm sorry!" I reach over and pat her knee.
"It's okay, I'll forgive you this time. But don't do it again," I reply, shaking my finger at her.
"I won't, I promise," she says, smirking back at me. She raises her fingers in the air in a classic salute. "Scout's honor." And with that, I change the station back to what I was listening to in the first place, and Abby sits back in her seat, watching Chicago pass by her window.
It doesn't take long to get to her apartment from the restaurant, and before long I am parking the car outside. I put it into gear, and wonder momentarily if I should turn the car off or leave it running, not knowing how long I'll be here. I glance over at Abby, who, arms crossed, simply looks over at me. She smiles, but I detect nothing behind her eyes, so I open my door, head over to hers and open it for her. She steps out and we walk casually up the stairs leading to the door to her building. We pause at the top, Abby holding her keys in her hand, both of us feeling the electricity in this moment. I catch her eyes with mine, and reach my hand up to graze her cheek with the back of my fingers. She closes her eyes at this sensation, and then my hand is moving the hair from her neck and my lips are making a slow descent to hers. I taste that vanilla and coffee again—this time from the tiramisu—and I can't help but get lost in her. I open my eyes briefly to watch her kissing me, to step outside the moment and see things the way others see them, but then she is moving her tongue into my mouth and I have to close my eyes again or risk losing my balance.
The kiss seems to last forever, when in reality it was probably no more than 10 seconds. When our lips separate I feel immediately cold again, longing for her mouth on mine. I can tell she feels the same, but we are trying to keep this somewhat chaste for now. She kisses me quickly again, and then moves to open the door. After it's unlocked, she says quietly, "Good night, John," and then is gone up the stairs to sleep in her own bed without me. I know that I will now spend all night wishing she were sleeping beside me, wanting nothing more than to have her in my arms.
And that is why I love her.