A/N: Sorry for taking such a long time to update but due to lazyness and lack of ideas, I found it impossible to write out a whole chapter for DLS. But I finally decided to sit down and update… this chapter will be later reposted after it was proof read.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.

Dirty Little Secrets

File Five: Raven

I sat in the waiting room of the hospital, desperately trying to control my emotions. It was getting harder to do so these days, what with everything that happening. I'm surprised how far I have gotten. But I don't know how much longer I can stay in control, I can feel it, somewhere inside I'm breaking.

"Excuse, er Miss. Raven." My head snapped up to look at middle aged man, mostly likely a doctor judging by the white coat he was wearing.

"Yes? Are you Cyborg's doctor?" I slowly got out of the uncomfortable chair I had been sitting in and strolled over to the man.

"Yes, my name is Dr. Lieberman. I just came here to tell you that he is awake now and seems to be okay, it seems there was traces of an unknown drug in his system. We aren't really sure what happened but-" I cut the doctor off, I had not time to listen to his rambling.

"You can give me the details later, right now I want to see my friend. Which room is he in?"

"Room 273, just go down the hall to the elevator, second floor and it will be to your right." I nodded and thanked him.

I slowly walked down the hall to elevator, the click of my heels the only noise to be heard. I reminded me of how home is now, silent. Without the noise of the others the Titans Tower seemed to be as much of a home as this hallway. Sighing I stood in front of the door of the elevator and pushed the up button.

It only took a few minutes for the elevator to arrive; I walked into it almost grateful for its boring elevator music. I pushed the button for the second floor and leaned back as it took me up. Within a few minutes the elevator stopped, and opened its doors to me.

Stepping out into another hallway, only this one was much fuller of life than the one before it. Nurses and doctors rushed down the hall, along with visitors and even a few patients. Turning right I looked at the doors, 271 and there it is 273.

I slowly pushed open the door to the room, poking my head in I saw Cyborg sitting on a chair in the far right corner of the room. I stepped in and his head jerked up and he looked at me.

"Hey" I whispered softly walking over to him, leaning on the wall beside him.

"Hey, I guess I've messed up pretty bad." He whispered shaking his head.

"Yeah, but we all have at one point or another none of us is perfect."

"But I'm a superhero, this is a mistake I'm not supposed to make. I should be out there fighting the people who sell this junk!" he sighs frustrated

"Don't be so hard on yourself Cy, look we have all been pretty stressed out because of what has been happening… Right now you just have to concentrate on getting over this, thing."

"Yeah… I guess, have you visited the others yet?

"No not yet… I was going to after see them after you."

We talked for a little while longer when the doctor came in saying that visiting hours were over and I had to leave. I walked out of the room sighing, I had lied to Cyborg. I never really intended to visit them; I hated that place they were being kept. It was so full of pain and suffering, but then they were my friends. I guess I could handle it for them.

Okay, so I will go visit them, I bet they were already getting better to…Yeah that's right… or at least I hope I am.

I decided it was not best to fly in the state I'm in so I called a cab from a pay phone at the hospital and waited on a street corner near the hospital. A knot of worry grew in my stomach, what if they weren't all right? What if something had happened? What- no, I have to clam down if I let my emotions get out of control who knows what I'll do.

The cab finally got there a few minutes later, and I got in. I hated using cabs they always smelled like smoke and they were always filthy, but it would have to do. I scooted to the other side of the cab and told the driver were to go.

The drive there was pretty long and the driver didn't talk much, so I decided to take the time to meditate. I didn't want to go to the hospital and explode when I got there, I don't think they would let me in again if that happened.

"Well were here, you owe thirty bucks" I gave the man the money and walked out of the cab.

I walked into the parking lot and paused to look around me, you would never think that this place was holding people who were suffering from some kind of mental illness. I mean the place was in the middle of nowhere, it was surrounded by rolling fields of green… it would have been pretty nice place. But then there was the building surrounded by a metal fence on all sides it looked like a prison and I am sure it felt like one too, well brace your self-Raven it is time for entry.

Sighing I walked across the parking lot and into the reception room. There was a lady at the desk, she was old here gray hair pulled into a tight bun the pulled at her skin, her eyes were a light blue. She wore from what I can see one of those white nurses dresses.

"Hello can I help you?" Her voice was soft and brittle, I liked it.

"Um yes my name is Raven and I was wondering if I could visit some of your patients here? Beast Boy, Robin and Starfire." I had walked up to I was right in front of her desk.

"Oh my! We had called the number given on their file, something has gone wrong!" I felt my heart stop, this isn't good.

"What happened?" I tried to calm myself, I tried to stay in control of my emotions… it was getting hard.

"I shouldn't be the one you should talk to let me, page their psychologist." She picked up a phone and dialed some numbers, she spoke hurriedly into the phone and I couldn't quite catch what she said. "If you just wait over their Dr. Helquist shall be with you soon."

I nodded my head not quite ready to speak; slowly I made my way over to the sitting area taking a random seat. I needed to stay calm, closing my eyes I slowly whispered the mantra that would keep me in control.

"Excuse me, are you Raven?" I looked up to see a woman, in her middle ages. Her hair was cut short and chopped close to her head, he brown eyes looked down behind thick rimmed glasses, she wore a black suite.

"Um yes, I assume you are Dr. Helquist?"

"Yes I am, now if you please come with me I could explain what is wrong with your friend." I nodded my head and got up out of the chair.

I followed her down a hallway, we made a right turn at the end and we turned right, we only walked a little further when she stopped in front of a brown wooden door, a golden name plate, that said Dr. Helquist in cursive. She pulled out some keys from a pocket in her suite and opened the door.

"Well come on in" She held the door open and we walked in together.

It was one of those typical offices you think of when someone says psychologist. It had different diplomas covering the wall; a big oak deck too up the center of the room, there was one of those chairs that could lie on… very cliché

"So what happened?" I wanted to get to the point.

"Okay… It happened late last night, it seems one of our patients, who was suffering from a eating disorder had gotten a hold of some diuretics, well it seems that your friend Starfire asked what they where… and the girl gave her some, half the bottle to be exact. Not knowing what they were, she took them all and suffered a heart attack, she died not to soon after."

I stood frozen… Starfire was dead, she had died this wasn't supposed to happen! They were supposed to be safe!

"How could you let this happen? You were supposed to keep them safe! HOW COULD YOU LET HER DIE!" I couldn't keep in control any more, I had lost it.

I could hear things cracking around me, glass-shattering books lifted off the shelf. Someone was screaming, was it me? No it was her the doctor it was all her fault! She was supposed to help her, why didn't she! The screams were getting louder… someone came in, a pain in my arm. What's going on? Things where going blank.

"Raven? Can you hear me?" I moaned and opened my eyes, Dr. Helquist was standing over me her arm in a cast.

I nodded my head, everything was still fuzzy I couldn't remember what happened. "Where am I?"

"Your in the hospital wing of Lucky Springs, you had some kind of break down. Some of the attendees had to put you to sleep… how are you feeling now?"

"Fine." Things were slowly coming back to me and I wish they didn't "do the others know?"

"I have not found the time to tell them, I need to find the right time and way to tell them or it could create some problems to tell them… but until I do I think it would be best if you were not to visit them. We don't want anyone to be hurt."

I sighed, she was right. I could hurt one of them if I visited them in the state I was… I should go home and meditate I should relax…

"Yes of course, I'll come back another time."

They released me a while later, just to make sure everything was all right… damn, I really messed up this time.

A/N: Well sorry to any Starfire fans for killing her off… anyways next chapter is Robin's