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Chapter Twelve: Part of the Family
"A rosary?" she asked. Inuyasha had always hated that thing around his neck. How could Sesshomaru desire such a thing. Was he aware that if she did place one around his neck it would give her certain control of him? She was baffled by his request. "What would you want one of those for?"
"So that I may pass through the Bone Eater's Well as my brother does. That way I can come and go as I please. I promise you, I would never abuse such a gift."
"Inuyasha no longer possesses the power of the rosary. I broke his, leaving him only enough magic to return to the feudal era," she informed the demon.
"I still would like it if you could provide me with such a necklace," he pushed.
Kagome sighed and left the room. Twenty minutes later, she returned with a necklace identical to the one his brother had always worn. "This might hurt a little," she warned him. He only continued to watch her. "Okay, here it goes." She slipped the beads over his head. A dim pinkish purple light pulsed through the air around the beads. Kagome felt the pulse give Sesshomaru a shock, but the demon lord hardly cringed. "Alright?"
"Yes," he nodded, standing up.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"To speak with my brother."
"Sesshomaru," she tugged on his arm. His golden eyes became soft. "Please don't take this out on Inuyasha. He loves Kikyo. I can't be angry with him for being in love." She wanted to say because I know how he feels now. I love you. But she couldn't. Instead she said, "Maybe…one day you'll understand." With that, she let go of him and went to her room to retire.
Left alone, Sesshomaru groaned. How did she always know what was going through his mind? True, she was a miko, but that did not grant her mind reading capabilities. She had known, somehow, that he wanted to kill Inuyasha, and yet her calm words had made him stop. What did she mean by those sad eyes and the final statement though?
Hands folded behind his back, he paced the length of Sota's room. Once again, the children had fallen asleep downstairs. Kagome's Ji-chan was snoring in his bed, and Mrs. Higurashi was preparing to sleep. He was alone with his thoughts, now that Kagome had gone. It was a dangerous place to be.
The lord knew he was on unstable ground. One wrong step and he would plummet. However, for some reason, he was unafraid. In the past, emotions had only led him to pain, but now he was beginning to think everything came with such an escort. He wanted to know what it was that made Kagome so important to him, even if that meant he'd have to admit he was in love with her.
Love, he thought bitterly. It was love that he had felt for his mother, love that had vowed to keep her as his father's mate. Love was a fabled falsehood. It was another version of lust that people and demons alike used as an excuse for things. But not him. He was the Ice Prince and he would stay that way. Of course, he knew he really couldn't. He had already begun to change. Kagome had that affect on creatures. She had started something inside of him, something that he was powerless to stop.
It wasn't all bad, this thing called love. It explained the strong connection between Rin and him. Perhaps it was the reason the lecherous monk and the demon exterminator were to be married. Was it the explanation for Inuyasha's treachery? What was this thing called love? Was it an emotion, lust, or something else? Could it be stopped and if so, how? He had a great many questions, though he had no one to ask.
Surely, his mother would have known. She would have been the only one capable of explaining it to him. Sadly, she was dead. With his father also gone, he only had Inuyasha left. The half-breed bastard was the only thing left of Sesshomaru's family. He had no one else. He was an orphan, all alone in this strange world. It surprised him that he had survived so long.
After his mother's death, his father had mated with another, who bore him the pup later called Inuyasha. From that point on, Sesshomaru had been on his own. He had trained himself, watched over himself, and grew up angry. It was that anger he had used to motivate his survival. A human had taken his family away. Their race was meant to die. He would make it so, or at least that was how he had thought prior to Kagome saving his life and giving him Tetsusaiga.
All these years he had hated her kind. For so many nights he had plotted their doom. Now, it had all crumbled because of one woman. He had never even taken any interest in female demons or the like before Kagome. Their had never been a reason to take a mate. He was doing fine on his own. Why complicate things by bringing in another? Now, everything was different. A great deal had changed and he wasn't sure if he was prepared for it.
The thing that scared him more than the possibility of being in love with Kagome, was the possibility that he might hurt her. He would never attack her on purpose, but what if an accident were to occur and he wounded her…or even killed her. What would happen then? How could he explain to Rin what had gone on, or tell Kagome's family, who he was starting to like.
Damn! The miko had made him soft. Normally, he wouldn't be fretting over such minor details. Then he noticed that he was still pacing. The nervous energy just wouldn't wear away.
"You know, if you keep pacing like that, you'll wear a hole in the floor," someone teased from the doorway. He pivoted around. Kagome stood there in her purple pajamas, smiling slightly. "Can I come in?" He motioned for her to take a seat on the bed aside of him. "What's wrong?' she asked.
"Even demons must think about the consequences of their actions sometimes," he told her solemnly.
Kagome was confused. What did he mean by that? Did he regret the rosary already? Had he only wanted it to be able to attack Inuyasha? Her heart ached at the emotions she saw in his golden orbs. He seemed so ashamed, so hopelessly lost. He obviously wouldn't give her a straight forth answer about why he was acting this way, so she would have to find out for herself.
"Why are you here? Did I wake you?"
"No," she answered quickly, "I couldn't sleep." She had been in her room thinking, but thoughts didn't make sleep come any quicker. Finally, the things going through her mind had centered on one issue, her revelation of being in love with Sesshomaru. The only explanation for why she had gotten over Inuyasha so shockingly quick would be to say that she had already been in love with Sesshomaru. She couldn't think of a time when she had thought being around him was wrong. If she had, that doubt would have been enough to tell her that her heart still lie with Inuyasha's. Now, it didn't, and she could see it all clearly. Something like this love seemed impossible, but here she was, contemplating what to do because it was a fact.
They sat in silence together on the bed, neither one speaking. They were comfortable and would not break the moment with speech. Kagome found that her hand had inched closer to Sesshomaru's. Seeing this, she moved it back. Until she knew how he felt, that was not a wise decision. At the same time, the Lord of the Western Lands was vainly attempting not to look at the miko aside of him. He feared that if he did all that he loved about her would draw him in and he'd kiss her senseless. Scaring her off was not the way to win her heart.
A knock came on the doorframe. The two looked up in startled unison. Mrs. Higurashi smiled at them from where she stood. "I just came to say goodnight to you both," she told them.
"Goodnight mom," Kagome yawned.
"Goodnight," Sesshomaru said as well.
"Goodnight you two." She left
"What possesses her to be so open and kind?" he questioned Kagome.
"You and Rin are part of the family, silly," she punched his arm playfully.
Part of the family? Hadn't he just been thinking about how he was an orphan? It did feel nice to be loved and belong somewhere, even if it was in this strange place called Tokyo. Her words echoed through his head as he thought of how nice all of Kagome's family had been to him. Even her grandfather was starting to warm up to him. At least he wasn't trying to spell him into oblivion anymore. That was progress enough. And Sota looked up to him as if he was his older brother. How he wished he had had him instead of Inuyasha. But perhaps not all family had to be flesh and blood related. Kagome didn't seem to think so.
Once again they were left with silence. From down the hall, Kagome's mother shut her bedroom door, then there was nothing. Now the lack of noise made each of them jittery with pent up nerves and emotions they were longing to share. Fear of rejection made them stay with the absence of sound. At least until Kagome couldn't take it anymore.
"Sesshomaru? Would it be okay if I slept in here tonight?" she asked, hoping he didn't send her away.
"Do you want me to sleep downstairs with the children?"
"No! I mean…um…that's not what I meant. I..erm…what I was trying to say was that could I sleep aside of you, like last night?" She waited for his reply. When there was none, she cleared her throat and stood up. "Never mind. It was stupid to ask." She walked to the door.
"Kagome-chan?"
"Yeah?"
"You don't have to go, if you don't want to." She felt relief wash over her, but her feet were stuck to the floor in doubt. Was he just saying this to be kind, or did he mean it? She looked down the hall at her bedroom door. Maybe it would be better if she just went back. She was trying to accomplish too much in one day with Sesshomaru. "Coming?" a voice breathed across her ear. An arm slid around her waist, guiding her back into Sota's room.
He hoped he wasn't frightening her. She didn't seem to mind the contact, but she had stood in the door for awhile. What did that mean? He shut the door with his tail, as he led her back to the bed. What now? He decided he should make the first move before things got awkward. He laid down and waited for her to do the same. After several long seconds had ticked by, she curled up aside of him. After that, sleep came easily for both restless hearts.
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Comfort was all around her, but for some unknown reason, Kagome awoke in the middle of the night. Then she knew what was wrong. It was too hot. She slipped off her top layer, tossing it lazily on the floor aside of the bed. The air felt nice against her bare arms now that she was in sweatpants and a camisole shirt, instead of a long sleeved on. She started to lie back down when her eyes caught the moonlight shining across Sesshomaru's face. His demon markings were more prominent now.
Slowly, she stretched her fingers forward. She didn't realized that she was sitting on top of him, straddling his hips. Gently, she trailed her pointer and middle fingers down the red lines on his cheek. His skin was smooth and there was warmth of life also. She ran her forefinger over the purple crescent moon on the middle of his forehead. It was at that moment Sesshomaru's eyes opened up. "What are you doing?" Kagome gasped and pulled back her hand in surprise.
His low chuckle went to her ears. She could only stare at him. He propped himself up on his elbows and made a direct eye connection with her. He could feel the light pressure of her weight resting on his hips. It was arousing, but he knew he couldn't chase after that feeling, at least no yet. He wanted to be with Kagome, he was even thinking of asking her to be his mate, but he refused to force her into such a relationship. And he certainly wasn't going to force her into sex. He had higher morals than that.
"Kagome-chan, what were you doing?" he asked again, noticing she had shed part of her pajamas. There was now more skin visible and this did little to help his current inner battle.
"You called me Kagome-chan," she stated, ignoring his question again.
"It is your name."
"You called me just plain Kagome the first time," she pointed out, sounding upset. "I liked it better that way. It's not so formal, it sounds more personal, like you know the real me, not just the girl who works for you to take care of Rin."
He nodded, understanding. "Kagome," he said simply, but expecting his answer to finally come forth.
"I just wanted to touch them," she whispered. "I'm sorry." She looked scared. He hadn't meant to sound angry. He was only trying to find out where they stood so he could make an appropriate move.
"Kagome," he pulled her closer to him. It was one of those moments that seemed suspended in time. Neither knew who leaned forward first, but soon they were both coming together. He felt his silver bangs brush against her forehead just as her black bangs ran across his forehead. Their breath mingled for a split second and then their lips met for the first time.
The demon lord applied a bit of pressure to Kagome's lower back, making her squish up against his chest. When she opened her mouth to catch her breath, he slipped his tongue in, gentle so he didn't startle her. She was inexperienced, but such things did not matter to him as he ran his opposite hand through her soft hair. His claws got tangled in her tresses as he brought her even closer.
They were lying flat now, one on top of the other, but Kagome and Sesshomaru weren't aware of it. All they knew was how good it felt to know the other one loved them back or at least had similar feelings if this emotion they were experiencing was really love.
Declining to break apart until they were sure their lungs would burst, they finally separated. Kagome blushed until her face was as bright red as a tomato. She was thankful for the dark, barely lit room. Of course, Sesshomaru had the sight of a demon. He could easily feel the heat of her blush, not to mention see it. He was quite the opposite of Kagome, he was glad they had gotten their emotions out in the open.
"What…what just happened?" she asked, running her fingers over her swollen lips.
"We fell victim to our own emotions before we could control ourselves," he replied in his normal dignified tone. Kagome felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Had what just happened meant nothing to him? She crossed her arms over her chest as she sat up. Then she got off him and headed for the door. "Kagome?"
Sesshomaru was confused. Had he done something wrong? Was she ashamed of kissing him? Perhaps being a demon did matter to her. Maybe her feelings for Inuyasha still ran strong. He stood up, following her. He had to know. Never had a simple feeling like this taken such a hold on him. He couldn't be vulnerable. He had to find out what was wrong.
"Kagome?"
She stopped mid-stride and bit her bottom lip. What did he want? He obviously didn't love her back. He had called that kiss a lapse of control. If it had been a good thing, he would not have put it in a negative context. However, she felt him grab onto her elbow, and she was powerless to turn away.
"Kagome, stop, I'm to speak with you."
"Why!" she hissed, keeping her voice soft. "Because you are afraid I'll lose control again?"
He, the Lord of the Western Lands, was taken back. She thought he cared nothing for her. Just the tone of her voice made it seem such. This was a misunderstanding. He reached for her again, but she smacked his hand away. He didn't even think of getting mad at her actions. "Kagome," he whispered. She jumped back. Giving up on formalities and politeness, he clamped on hand over her mouth, with the other picked her up, and carried her back to the bedroom. As he did, she struggled, but he only hummed softly to himself until they were back inside Sota's bedroom with the door shut.
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