'On The Turning Away'

Chapter One

" We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell."

She thinks he is careless.

Then again, most people thought he was careless. He wasn't really one to care what people thought. However, he did care what she thought. He always felt the need to prove something to her. That he somehow needed to reassure her there was more to him then a good jump shot and constant reckless behavior. He knows she'll never be reassured though. He can't even convince himself theres more to him. She likes that is careless. She thinks it balances out her anal personality. He hates it when she says that. He feels that it in someway forces him to succumb to this playboy lifestyle. That it is his title. And now he has to live up to it. He knows he loves it despite him telling himself it's disappointing her. He wants her to understand. He knows she doesn't, even when she says she does. There is this inexplicable pleasure in receiving attention. She wouldn't know about that though. The envy of peers, the advances from girls. It makes him ego-centric. Yet it a contradicting way it makes him feel hallow. Empty. The feeling reminds him of her stares. The stares she gives him, when he stumbles into the café late at night. She looks at him with cold eyes. He knows she's repulsed by his drunken display. Those stares tell him that her point is proving.

He is careless

He drums his fingers against the table. She is late. He frowns, she is never late. Worry washes over him, as he nervously glances at the old clock on the wall. He pulls out his cell phone from the pocket of his 'Timberland' sweater, and quickly dials her number. He can feel his breath get caught in his throat as the line keeps ringing. She doesn't answer. He hangs up the phone, not sure of what to think. She would of called if she were running late. She knew better then to let him become anxious. At least she hoped she did. He hears a muffled sound of shuffling feet. He releases a tremerous breath of relief. He knows its her. The twittered wrapping of his fingers died down, just as her head of flowing auburn hair scurried through the door. He smiles at her appearance. Her expression is flustered. Her cheeks are a flushed rosy pink. He can tell her hair as just been straightened. Her pursed lips glistened with her favorite vanilla lip gloss. Her dough eyes widen upon seeing him sitting there. As though she is surprised to see him.

" What?" He hesitates glancing around the room.

" Nothing" she shook her head, pulling the messenger bag over her head taking a seat across from him. They sit there in awkward silence. He watches her chew at her winter fresh gum.

" Hows Brooke?" she sneers randomly.

He smirks. So this is what this is about. Brooke Davis wasn't someone he dated. Brooke Davis wasn't someone he would acknowledge as a good friend. Brooke Davis was just someone he slept with. Haley knew this. Haley didn't like this. And he was well aware of that. Of course he only has himself to blame, for Haley's constant scowls of disapproval. He knows she feels that Brooke is competition. That somehow she has to struggle to maintain her title as most important person in his life. Again he knows it's his fault she thinks that. He was after all constantly forgetting about her, to go off with his more sociable group of friends. He was after all blowing her off, to get some from the tempting brunette. He knows Haley is offended. He feels guilty.

" So why were you late? " he ignores her previous remark. She sighs at him, rolling eyes reaching into her bag for a textbook.

" How is that any of your business?"

He grins back at her. " Someone's in a cranky mood"

" I'm not cranky" she argues looking down at her notebook, twisting the ring on her finger.

" Yes you are"

" No I'm not!"

" Haley's being a cranky pants" he sang in a vexing manner. She slapped the pencil in her hand down on to the notebook. Raising her hand up, pointing her finger at his face.

" I have PMS and gun, Nathan, do not fu(k with me " she threatens.

He leans back in his chair. He can tell somethings bothering her. More then just the average monthly hormones. She's fidgeting in her seat. He knows she only fidgets when something is irritating her. She is tapping her pencil against her notebook. He knows she'll only do that when she's avoiding something. He reaches out placing his large hand ontop of hers, stopping her agitated movements. She looks at him. He grimaces, at the sight of her reddened tear stained eyes. He hates to see her cry. All he can feel is a sudden pang of hurt upon seeing the salty drops sting at her brown eyes. The tears begin rolling down her skin freely. He pulls her into a hug, letting his hand brush at her soft hair. He cooes reassuring words to her while she sobs.

" What's wrong" He asks pressing his cheek against the top of her head. He can hear her shaky sigh. She's reluctant to tell him. It's obvious. He wants to know though.

" It's just " She breaths, scrunching her face in fear of more tears spilling " My mom is moving out and she wants to take us with her".

He closes his eyes sadly. Haley adores her father. He is her idol. He couldn't lie, he adored Mr. James too. Mrs. James never really took to him. Really when ever he would come spend time with Haley, she would sneer at him disapprovingly. Mr. James was always the one to make him feel comfortable. He has to admit though. He didn't see it coming. The James seem so put together. So Happy. Really the ideal family. Atleast that's how he felt about them. Considering how screwed up his own family was. It felt surreal. Her saying her mom was moving out. He could of never of thought that their marriage would end up in flames. Now her mother wanted out and she wanted to take Haley with her. He can feel her beginning to cry again. He knows she can't even stand the thought of not having her father around. He kisses her forehead lightly.

" It'll be okay baby" He whispers

She pushes the door open, walking inside the house. The walls are a deep green. Various paintings and picture frames decorated onto it's cheap color. She tosses her keys onto the circular table in the middle of the entrance. They rattle loudly upon hitting the wood. She can hears soft voices from the living causing her to walk over to them. She can see her mother sitting on the couch. Her head buried into her hands. Little sad cries escaping from her. Across from her sat Haley's sister Whitney. She had her manicured hand on her mother's back.

She sighs. Why is Whitney here? Her sister Whitney James is perfect. What bothers her the most though, is that not only is Whitney James perfects. It's that Whitney James knows shes perfect. She tries to hate her. She can't though. No one can hate Whitney James. It's all apart of her vexatious perfection. The way everything she does is flawless. The way she looks, the way she speaks. All bound to be envied. Part of her feels overwhelmed by Whitney's perfection. That somehow her utter lack of mistakes magnifies all of Haley's imperfections. She loves her sister. She really does. She just can't stand to live in her shadow anymore.

She clears her throat. " Mom"

Her mothers head snaps up from her hands. Her face is streaked from crying. Haley scoffs inwardly, she is the one who wants to move out. Whitney turns to look at her, she smiles affectionately. Haley forces a smile back at her. She steps into the living, she chooses to gaze around the room. Taking in the large wooden shelfs pressed against the wall and the large brown couch across from her. Anything to keep her from staring at her sorrowful mother with a scowl. She can feel Whitney gazing at her. She's expecting her to spill some words of cheap pity to there distraught parent. She however as nothing to say to the woman.

" Haley" He mother chokes, brushing away her messy hair, a weak attempt to compose herself.

" Hey Whitney" she greets biting on her lip " Didn't know you were in town"

" Mom called me " she states with a weak half smile " I thought she could use the support"

She nods with a fake sympathizing smile. Her cell phone begins ringing. She whispers a grateful ' thank you'. The caller ID reads ' Nate '. She smiles, drifting out of the living room slowly to accept the call. She can feel Whitney's disapproving glares.

" Hello" She answers trudging up the stairs to her room.

" Howdie Ho Partner" he laughs

" What the hell is that?" she grins opening the door to her bedroom. She is greeted by the familiar tacky green. This time though her surroundings are more comforting. The room is plain really. Her desk was a simple piece of old wood, large textbooks stacked on top of it, sitting beside her old lap top. Her bed was small, it really barely fit her. She smiles remembering all the nights Nathan would sneak through the window, struggling to slip in beside her on the tiny mattress. Framed pictures filled up the cramped area. They were mostly of her and Nathan. She flops down on the bean bag beside the door.

" I'm watching some old cowboy movie " he states " How you feeling?"

She sighs, running a hand through her hair. " Better, I guess, Whitney is downstairs consoling the home wrecker."

" Whitney's in town?" she can hear his voice fill with excitement " Since when?"

" Down boy" she breaths reaching her arm out to stretch " I don't know when she came in, I'm assuming some time today"

" How insightful of you"

" I know" she sighs " So are you going out tonight."

He hesitates. " I was planning on it, why? Do want to come."

" No it's okay" she smiles weakly " I think I'm going to go to the café and help Karen out"

" Are you sure?" he persists " Cause I mean you're more then welcome to come, or if you want we can just hang out together"

She laughs him off. " It's okay Nathan, go have fun, get wasted, use protection"

" Okay" he says " I love you Hales"

" Love you too"

" Bye"

She hung up the phone, gently dropping it back onto the bean bag. It was bitterly amusing. How quickly her life gets screwed up. She could remember last year, she could remember how happy she was. How enjoyably anxious she was about starting high school. Her family was there. Nathan was there. He was her best friend after all. Things changed so quickly. She sighs with chagrin. Things changed too quickly. The calm relationship between her parents suddenly turned sour. And all they could do was fight. Suddenly Her and Nate, became Nate and the whole school. He had discovered popularity, along with a few other dishonorable habits. He never forgot her, he still was the best friend she ever had, but she still couldn't help but feel left behind. Forgotten. Disregarded. She closes her eyes, pressing her palm against her forehead. Now a new year was starting in a few days. Everyone was changing, moving on and she was till just there.

Just Haley.