Ducks and Dragons

By: Avalon Estel

A/N: First, I must say something. My first reviewer, dragonfirechick, and my second, Miss Piratess get lots of hugs and thank-yous! I really appreciate the comments, and I'm glad that you like it. Miss Piratess, your work is hilarious. I almost killed myself the other day because I was laughing so hard, and dragonfirechick, your writing style is beautiful! Please, both of you, keep up the good work. And Miss Piratess, I have but one thing to say - You're in for a surprise!

A/N: Lute is still mine!! And Aridia and Cassandra are mine!!

Disclaimer: Nothing else IS mine!! I don't own any of the Zelda characters, locations, or animals. NO LAWYERS!!!!!!!!

Real Disclaimer: "The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time" is © Nintendo and Shigeru Miyamoto. I make no claim to it and have no intention of using this story as a means of profit.

Chapter Two: What's a "Hero of Time"?

Zelda was at Lon Lon Ranch, looking for Link.

"One more time, Malon," Zelda said to the ranch girl, who was feeding the horses in the corral. "You're absolutely sure that Link is not here?"

"Yes," sighed Malon. "I know Link's not here."

"You're sure?" Zelda insisted.

Thankfully, at that moment, Impa walked into the ranch with a duck under her arm.

"Hello, Impa!" called Malon. "You don't know how perfect your timing was," she added, as Impa came closer.

"Oh, aren't you a cute little ducky!" Zelda squealed. She went and petted the duck's head. In return, the duck groaned.

"Seems angry," Malon whispered, pushing her long red hair out of her face.

"Actually..." Impa trailed off. She set it on the ground.

"Princess Zelda, I need your help," the duck said, looking at the princess imploringly.

"Ooooooooooooooh! You're a cute little talking ducky!" Zelda said, looking fit to burst with happiness.

"I'm not really a duck!" it insisted, shaking its head vigorously.

"This should be good," muttered Malon, leaning against one of the corral's wooden gates.

"Well, then, what are you really?" asked Zelda, batting her eyelashes.

"I'm the prince," the duck answered.

"Of course, you are!" Zelda cooed. "Everyone likes to play pretend. I'll pretend that I'm a princess, even though I really am!"

"No, you don't get it!" the duck/prince shouted. "I'm Prince Lute! You know, the guy from this morning? I snuck into the courtyard, you freaked out and sent Amazon woman here after me! She took me into the palace, and that idiot apprentice-girl turned me into a duck! Do – you – get – it – now?!?!"

"Prince Lute?" Zelda murmured. "I'm not sure I remember..."

"You know, Lute! Good-looking, tall, black hair, long cloak – Lute!"

"Oh, Din, now I remember!" Zelda cried, looking outraged. "If you think I'm gonna help you, you're nuts!"

"I'd say you owe him one, Princess," Malon said nonchalantly.

"Why's that, Horse-Hugger?" Zelda asked, giving Malon a venomous glare.

"A certain horse whose leg you've broken..." Malon replied, raising her eyebrows in a "you-know-what-I-mean" gesture.

"What's that mean?" Lute asked, jumping up and flapping his wings. "You broke Sierra's leg?!"

Malon nodded. "Sorry, Your Majesty, but the horse was running around, and Princess Graceful knocked her over, causing her leg to break. It'll be fine in a couple weeks, though."

"Poor Sierra," Lute said. Then, he looked up at Zelda. "Well, are you gonna help me or not?"

Zelda sighed. "What do you want me to do?"

"You have to..." Lute swallowed. "You have to kiss me."

"Ew!" Zelda wailed. "That's so sickening!"

"Well, it's necessary if you want me to change back into a human," Lute said, staring at her.

Zelda sighed again, then bent down and gave Lute a quick peck on the top of his feathered head. Then, she shot back up and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Ugh!"

Tiny specks of lights, like fireflies on a midsummer evening, began to circle Lute. Then, they became bright flashes that surrounded him and disappeared in a flash. Lute was left sitting on the dusty ground, feathers strewn around him. But he was human again.

"Thank you," he said, looking at Zelda.

Malon rolled her eyes and walked over to the prince, offering him her hand. Lute grinned and let her help him to his feet. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. I should thank you as well, Miss – "

"Malon. The "Miss" isn't needed. I'm only a peasant girl, after all," Malon said, glaring at Zelda with a look of pure murder.

"Um, of course. Thank you, Malon," Lute said, getting a little nervous from Malon's ever-darkening glower. "I need an experienced equestrian physician for my steed, and I'm sure you're perfectly qualified."

"That I am," Malon replied, giving him a smile. She tossed her scarlet hair back over her shoulder and added quietly, "You'd better be careful around Zelda. She may be an idiot, but if you get on her bad side, you're in trouble."

"You know, Lute, you have to repay me," Zelda said from the other side of the corral.

Lute sighed and walked up to her, Malon right behind him. "What should I do, Princess?" he asked, bowing respectfully.

Zelda grinned. "You have to find my husband, Link."

"Wait a minute!" Lute cried. "You're married?!"

"Well, not yet, but I want to marry him," Zelda said, looking to the ground. "Daddy won't let me."

"Daddy won't let you?" Lute asked. "Why not?"

"Because he says that Link's a peasant boy, and he's not worthy of a princess," Zelda replied angrily.

"That name sounds familiar to me," Lute said, a black-gloved hand on his forehead. "Isn't Link really important to you Hylians or something?"

"Um, duh!" Zelda said. "He only saved all of Hyrule from an unspeakable evil!"

"Unspeakable evil?" Lute asked.

"Actually, it was just Ganondorf. But anyway, yeah, Link's important! He's the Hero of Time!"

Lute was lost. "What's a 'Hero of Time'?"

Zelda, Impa, and Malon looked like they'd been smacked senseless.