I look around at our new destination.. were under our bridge.. this is
where Faith and I come all the time when we need some quiet time.. or we
wanna duck calls for a while.. or sometimes just to talk.... We have shared
many things under this bridge, confessions, tears, I have shared some of my
darkest fears with Faith under this bridge..
"She's told you many things under this bridge hasn't she?"
I nod my head as flashbacks pass though my eyes.. her telling me that she was pregnant with Charlie.. her fears about Fred turning into her Father.. her fears about having another baby.. but the one that stands out in my mind is the one that we had where she said that our relationship was changing.. and that she didn't like it... it was when Cruz had her claws in me... I had tried to re-assure her that I was still there for her... but like so many screw ups in my life.. it just came out wrong...
I suddenly get the sense that there is someone else right behind my back... I turn around and standing behind me is Faith.. but it doesn't look like Faith.. well it does but she has a pair of wings on her back that arch above her shoulders.. I feel Mikey grip my hand tighter and he pulls me closer to him as he realizes that we are not alone...
"You cant take him... I wont let you take him.. I still have to help him find what he is looking for.. its not his time yet and you tell the gatekeeper that too!"
Faith gets a disappointed look on her face and I stare in awe as she spreads her wings and takes off into the sky, instantly that image is seared into my mind.. and then it is replaced by a stab of fear... if I just saw Faith then she must be dead... and that was her spirit.. before I can utter a word Mikey pats my shoulder,
"Angels of Death can be elusive Mo... that wasn't Faith, but the angel coming for you... I wont let you go until I help you figure out why you are here.. and then you will have the choice.. to stay with me or go with her.. and there is a third choice but we'll get to that later.."
I shake my head and I feel myself being lead to yet another place, it's the diner Faith asked me to meet her at.. we stand infront of the same booth that she asked me to meet her in.. it was when she told me that she was coming back the next day and she was coming back as my partner... I couldn't have that.. I had hurt her so badly.. not only had I got her shot but I had marred everything that I held dear with her.. the trust.. the friendship.. my head hangs as I recall that conversation.. she told me to ask Swersky to put us back together again.. I didn't want to because I didn't deserve her anymore.. I didn't deserve someone like that.. someone who would blow the pain away with her soothing words.. the only person who I would trust with everything that I had... the only one who I would completely trust to have my back when I needed her..
"I didn't want to do it Mikey.. I didn't want to be her partner again.. I wanted to but I just couldn't do it.. I nearly killed her... I didn't deserve to be her partner again.. I don't deserve it.. I didn't have her back that night...."
I don't get to finish that sentence when I find myself standing in the same hotel room where it all happened.. I was standing in the same spot looking at the empty room, I still see it all play out.. how Cruz was yelling at her to give her the gun Noble stood in the corner as I watched Faith turn the gun around to place the butt in her hand and her finger slipped around the trigger.. I saw Cruz raise her gun to her and I saw myself train my gun on Noble who now I saw had his gun trained on Faith... he was going to kill her.. if I hadn't of shot him he would have killed her with a second bullet.. because his gun was aimed at her head.. I heard the three shots and then I saw everyone fall.. I heard myself cry out when I saw Faith's body being violently thrown backwards as the bullet ripped into her..
"He was going to kill her Mo... now you see it.. so even though she got shot by Cruz you still saved her from the bullet that would have killed her for sure"
I walk across the room and place my hands on Faith's head, letting my tears fall on to her hair and face, I had saved her but I had also hurt her... I couldn't live with that.. I remember wishing as hard as I could that night that I would be able to trade places with her.. that I would have taken the bullet instead of her.. feel a hand on my shoulder and I look up and see Faith standing there.. her face sympathetic to my pain.. waiting to fix it..
"Bosco..."
Her soft whisper has an angelic voice to it.. and then I see her beautiful wings unfold as she reaches for my hand..
"I told you NOT YET!!! It isn't his time!! He still has to find what he's lookin for!"
Mikey is by my side in an instant and I feel a strange sense of absolution as she touches my shoulder.. that feeling still stays with me as she spreads her wings further and with one clean sweep of her soft wings takes me in her arms.. I hear Mikey calling for me to come back but I am lost in Faith's embrace..
"Please just let me see her.. I need to see her if you are going to take me with you.."
She looks at me and smiles and in a white flash of light I am transported back to Mercy, I am standing in the lounge.. at one end of it sits Faith.. her head buried in her hands, her hands still clutching my tie... I walk over to her and sit beside her, I want to put my arms around her.. comfort her.. ease her pain.. put to rest the worries that she has about me..
"I'm still here Faith.. I am not going anywhere.. I will always be here for you"
I look back at the Angel and she beckons to me, holding her arms wide inviting me to come into her embrace.. but I cant go.. I have to stay here for Faith.. my heart is here with her.. I cant leave here until I know that she is going to be allright.. and then she crumbles into tears again... I cant stand to see her in such pain.. I have to ease it... The angel looks at me again and with one sweep of her wings she leaves the room.... She knows that I have to be here..
Even though I pass though everything and everyone.. I still have to find someway of letting her know that I am here.. and then the thought comes to me.. I place both my hands on her tear stained face and kiss her soft mouth.. it feels real to me.. I hear her moan softly as I feel her shoulders shake and she dissolves into tears again..
"Bosco you gotta hang on.. you cant leave me.... I cant live without you.."
Her words root me to the spot as I kneel on the floor echoing in my ears, her plea gives me all the reason in the world not to leave this spot until I can find a way to come back here.. I have to fight.. I have to fight to stay here and come back to her.. I need her just as much as she needs me..
"That was close.. I thought that she would have taken you for sure.."
Mikey places a hand on my shoulder as I stand up, wiping my eyes, I don't get the chance to speak when I watch the door open and two Doctors walk in.. Faith snaps her head up when she hears the door and I stand by her side as I slide my arms around her shoulder.. her head tilts towards me.. I hope that she can sense that I am here for her..
"Officer Yokas... Officer Boscorelli is out of surgery, the bullet entered just below his left scapula and pierced the Aortic arch and the left lung and exited from his body though the chest, we managed to repair the arch and patched the lung and re-inflated it as well as any residual damage but we lost him a couple of times on the table.. he is in critical condition right now on life support in the ICU, we are only letting family into see him for a short time."
I feel her sob softly and explain to the doctor inbetween sobs, about my mother being in the same condition, Mikey bein murdered, and then something that makes my heart jump..
"I am the closest thing to family that he has.."
I watch as she gets up and follows the doctor to where I lay... we enter a room and I hear her gasp as she sees me.. hell I would have done the same thing.. she lets out a little sob and puts her hand over her mouth.. I am laying there in the bed with monitors everywhere.. a Vent breathin for me, my chest covered with Gauze and the smallest patch of red could be seen on one.. the body in the bed doesn't even look like me.. I look so small and pale..
"She will stay here beside you until they tell her to go home.. you are not out of the woods Yet Mo.. I cant show you anything else that will help you out on your journey.. you have to do the rest on your own...but remember if you want to stay here.. you cant go with the Angel.."
I look my Brother in the face.. as I see another angel standing beside him.. she is just as beautiful as my Angel Faith.. I look at my brother and he has a soft smile on his face as he looks at me..
"Its my time Mo... I love you bro.. don't forget me.. and don't forget what I told you.. whatever you do don't go with the Angel.. it isn't your time yet... you still have to live... you still have a lot to do in life.. for me, my time came too soon but I will always be with you and Ma.. don't you ever forget that..."
I pull Mikey into my embrace and hug him tight.. glad that I was finally given the chance to say goodbye to him..
"Mikey you will always be my brother and best friend.. I am so sorry.. I am sorry for everything that I did to you... not protecting you when you needed me... I am sorry for everything..."
"Mo it wasn't your fault... you were always there for me when we were kids.. you got me out of the house when mom and dad were fighting.. now its my turn to finally take one of those boats that we used to see when we were kids.. Paige will take me there.." he nodded at the Angel.. so that was her name.. I guess she had been a victim of the streets of NY...
I hug my Brother closer as we say our goodbyes and I feel a sense of peace after I watch him walk towards Paige.. she pulls him into her embrace where he goes willingly she kisses him full on the mouth and I watch as a pair of wings forms on my brothers back.. taking her hand they fly off together....
Wiping my eyes I turn back to the bed where Faith has pulled up a chair she carefully laced her hand into mine and running a hand though my hair her voice cracks with emotion as I hear her speak to me.. I stand behind her.. wanting nothing more than to wrap my arms around her in comfort and love..
"You stay with me Bosco.. you hear me? You fight.. and you fight hard.. because I am not going anywhere.. I need you here with me...I cant loose you too.."
My heart breaks as she collapses into a fit of sobbing.. letting her beautiful head fall on the bed as she lets the hum of the machines keeping me alive lull her to sleep..
I look at her and realize that I have to fight as hard as I can to stay here.. that no matter how seductive that Angel can be.. I wont go with her again.. I have to stay here with Faith.. I need to be with her.. especially now that she's lost her husband and her kids.. I make up my mind that I will stay with her as long as I can.. as I lower myself on to the floor to sit and wait for her to wake.
"She's told you many things under this bridge hasn't she?"
I nod my head as flashbacks pass though my eyes.. her telling me that she was pregnant with Charlie.. her fears about Fred turning into her Father.. her fears about having another baby.. but the one that stands out in my mind is the one that we had where she said that our relationship was changing.. and that she didn't like it... it was when Cruz had her claws in me... I had tried to re-assure her that I was still there for her... but like so many screw ups in my life.. it just came out wrong...
I suddenly get the sense that there is someone else right behind my back... I turn around and standing behind me is Faith.. but it doesn't look like Faith.. well it does but she has a pair of wings on her back that arch above her shoulders.. I feel Mikey grip my hand tighter and he pulls me closer to him as he realizes that we are not alone...
"You cant take him... I wont let you take him.. I still have to help him find what he is looking for.. its not his time yet and you tell the gatekeeper that too!"
Faith gets a disappointed look on her face and I stare in awe as she spreads her wings and takes off into the sky, instantly that image is seared into my mind.. and then it is replaced by a stab of fear... if I just saw Faith then she must be dead... and that was her spirit.. before I can utter a word Mikey pats my shoulder,
"Angels of Death can be elusive Mo... that wasn't Faith, but the angel coming for you... I wont let you go until I help you figure out why you are here.. and then you will have the choice.. to stay with me or go with her.. and there is a third choice but we'll get to that later.."
I shake my head and I feel myself being lead to yet another place, it's the diner Faith asked me to meet her at.. we stand infront of the same booth that she asked me to meet her in.. it was when she told me that she was coming back the next day and she was coming back as my partner... I couldn't have that.. I had hurt her so badly.. not only had I got her shot but I had marred everything that I held dear with her.. the trust.. the friendship.. my head hangs as I recall that conversation.. she told me to ask Swersky to put us back together again.. I didn't want to because I didn't deserve her anymore.. I didn't deserve someone like that.. someone who would blow the pain away with her soothing words.. the only person who I would trust with everything that I had... the only one who I would completely trust to have my back when I needed her..
"I didn't want to do it Mikey.. I didn't want to be her partner again.. I wanted to but I just couldn't do it.. I nearly killed her... I didn't deserve to be her partner again.. I don't deserve it.. I didn't have her back that night...."
I don't get to finish that sentence when I find myself standing in the same hotel room where it all happened.. I was standing in the same spot looking at the empty room, I still see it all play out.. how Cruz was yelling at her to give her the gun Noble stood in the corner as I watched Faith turn the gun around to place the butt in her hand and her finger slipped around the trigger.. I saw Cruz raise her gun to her and I saw myself train my gun on Noble who now I saw had his gun trained on Faith... he was going to kill her.. if I hadn't of shot him he would have killed her with a second bullet.. because his gun was aimed at her head.. I heard the three shots and then I saw everyone fall.. I heard myself cry out when I saw Faith's body being violently thrown backwards as the bullet ripped into her..
"He was going to kill her Mo... now you see it.. so even though she got shot by Cruz you still saved her from the bullet that would have killed her for sure"
I walk across the room and place my hands on Faith's head, letting my tears fall on to her hair and face, I had saved her but I had also hurt her... I couldn't live with that.. I remember wishing as hard as I could that night that I would be able to trade places with her.. that I would have taken the bullet instead of her.. feel a hand on my shoulder and I look up and see Faith standing there.. her face sympathetic to my pain.. waiting to fix it..
"Bosco..."
Her soft whisper has an angelic voice to it.. and then I see her beautiful wings unfold as she reaches for my hand..
"I told you NOT YET!!! It isn't his time!! He still has to find what he's lookin for!"
Mikey is by my side in an instant and I feel a strange sense of absolution as she touches my shoulder.. that feeling still stays with me as she spreads her wings further and with one clean sweep of her soft wings takes me in her arms.. I hear Mikey calling for me to come back but I am lost in Faith's embrace..
"Please just let me see her.. I need to see her if you are going to take me with you.."
She looks at me and smiles and in a white flash of light I am transported back to Mercy, I am standing in the lounge.. at one end of it sits Faith.. her head buried in her hands, her hands still clutching my tie... I walk over to her and sit beside her, I want to put my arms around her.. comfort her.. ease her pain.. put to rest the worries that she has about me..
"I'm still here Faith.. I am not going anywhere.. I will always be here for you"
I look back at the Angel and she beckons to me, holding her arms wide inviting me to come into her embrace.. but I cant go.. I have to stay here for Faith.. my heart is here with her.. I cant leave here until I know that she is going to be allright.. and then she crumbles into tears again... I cant stand to see her in such pain.. I have to ease it... The angel looks at me again and with one sweep of her wings she leaves the room.... She knows that I have to be here..
Even though I pass though everything and everyone.. I still have to find someway of letting her know that I am here.. and then the thought comes to me.. I place both my hands on her tear stained face and kiss her soft mouth.. it feels real to me.. I hear her moan softly as I feel her shoulders shake and she dissolves into tears again..
"Bosco you gotta hang on.. you cant leave me.... I cant live without you.."
Her words root me to the spot as I kneel on the floor echoing in my ears, her plea gives me all the reason in the world not to leave this spot until I can find a way to come back here.. I have to fight.. I have to fight to stay here and come back to her.. I need her just as much as she needs me..
"That was close.. I thought that she would have taken you for sure.."
Mikey places a hand on my shoulder as I stand up, wiping my eyes, I don't get the chance to speak when I watch the door open and two Doctors walk in.. Faith snaps her head up when she hears the door and I stand by her side as I slide my arms around her shoulder.. her head tilts towards me.. I hope that she can sense that I am here for her..
"Officer Yokas... Officer Boscorelli is out of surgery, the bullet entered just below his left scapula and pierced the Aortic arch and the left lung and exited from his body though the chest, we managed to repair the arch and patched the lung and re-inflated it as well as any residual damage but we lost him a couple of times on the table.. he is in critical condition right now on life support in the ICU, we are only letting family into see him for a short time."
I feel her sob softly and explain to the doctor inbetween sobs, about my mother being in the same condition, Mikey bein murdered, and then something that makes my heart jump..
"I am the closest thing to family that he has.."
I watch as she gets up and follows the doctor to where I lay... we enter a room and I hear her gasp as she sees me.. hell I would have done the same thing.. she lets out a little sob and puts her hand over her mouth.. I am laying there in the bed with monitors everywhere.. a Vent breathin for me, my chest covered with Gauze and the smallest patch of red could be seen on one.. the body in the bed doesn't even look like me.. I look so small and pale..
"She will stay here beside you until they tell her to go home.. you are not out of the woods Yet Mo.. I cant show you anything else that will help you out on your journey.. you have to do the rest on your own...but remember if you want to stay here.. you cant go with the Angel.."
I look my Brother in the face.. as I see another angel standing beside him.. she is just as beautiful as my Angel Faith.. I look at my brother and he has a soft smile on his face as he looks at me..
"Its my time Mo... I love you bro.. don't forget me.. and don't forget what I told you.. whatever you do don't go with the Angel.. it isn't your time yet... you still have to live... you still have a lot to do in life.. for me, my time came too soon but I will always be with you and Ma.. don't you ever forget that..."
I pull Mikey into my embrace and hug him tight.. glad that I was finally given the chance to say goodbye to him..
"Mikey you will always be my brother and best friend.. I am so sorry.. I am sorry for everything that I did to you... not protecting you when you needed me... I am sorry for everything..."
"Mo it wasn't your fault... you were always there for me when we were kids.. you got me out of the house when mom and dad were fighting.. now its my turn to finally take one of those boats that we used to see when we were kids.. Paige will take me there.." he nodded at the Angel.. so that was her name.. I guess she had been a victim of the streets of NY...
I hug my Brother closer as we say our goodbyes and I feel a sense of peace after I watch him walk towards Paige.. she pulls him into her embrace where he goes willingly she kisses him full on the mouth and I watch as a pair of wings forms on my brothers back.. taking her hand they fly off together....
Wiping my eyes I turn back to the bed where Faith has pulled up a chair she carefully laced her hand into mine and running a hand though my hair her voice cracks with emotion as I hear her speak to me.. I stand behind her.. wanting nothing more than to wrap my arms around her in comfort and love..
"You stay with me Bosco.. you hear me? You fight.. and you fight hard.. because I am not going anywhere.. I need you here with me...I cant loose you too.."
My heart breaks as she collapses into a fit of sobbing.. letting her beautiful head fall on the bed as she lets the hum of the machines keeping me alive lull her to sleep..
I look at her and realize that I have to fight as hard as I can to stay here.. that no matter how seductive that Angel can be.. I wont go with her again.. I have to stay here with Faith.. I need to be with her.. especially now that she's lost her husband and her kids.. I make up my mind that I will stay with her as long as I can.. as I lower myself on to the floor to sit and wait for her to wake.