Its been a week since the shooting..and Faith hasn't left my side for more
then a second.. they tried to kick her out of the ICU but she found a way
to get back in to sit and wait beside my bed.. eventually they just gave
up.. in fact they offered her the use of the patient shower facilities on
another floor so she could take care of herself.. they even brought in a
cot so she could sleep next to me... I sat beside her talking to her.. I know
that she cant hear me but I still had to let her know that I was there..
"Bosco... Bosco come to me.. let yourself go Bosco..."
I look over in the corner and I see the familiar form of the Angel as she beckons to me.. I am finding it harder to resist her call... her visits are becoming less and less frequent now.. but the pull to come towards her hasn't lessened.. I still fell the uncontrollable urge to slide into her arms and loose myself to the embrace.. but then I look over at Faith asleep by my bedside.. keeping constant vigil over me, and I find the urge to give up the fight dissipitate, I try talking to the Angel but she just beckons me more.. I gave up asking her why she was here.. and that I wasn't going to go and to tell the Gatekeeper that I wasn't ready to leave and that I would fight with every ounce of strength in my body..
Two doctors come into the room and do their usual assessment of my condition, checking my wounds to see if they were healing properly, checking my medications to ensure I was getting the proper dosage of whatever I was getting.. they are careful to step over Faith who is slumbering softly by their feet in the little cot that they set up for her..
"I think its time to take him off of life support.. he seems to have been improving over the last week.. I think we should try him off of life support, see how he does.."
The other doctor nods and I watch the Angel in the corner smile, it isn't a smile of satisfaction but one of sympathy.. I don't know how to feel with her anymore.. she wont answer any of my questions.. I just deny her every time she comes to see me.. I have to stay with my real Faith..
I watch in horror as they turn off the vent to see if I would breathe on my own.. I feel a strange pull in my chest as the machine takes its last breath for me and I am left to do it on my own.. I fight with everything I have to take a breath on my own.. I feel my chest rise and fall as I fight to keep breathing I look over at the Angel and she walks over to where I stand, still fighting to breathe on my own
"You must make a choice Bosco... you must either choose to come with me and I will show you happiness beyond anything that you have ever experienced.. or you can choose to live the rest of your days.... What shall it be?"
I am instantly filled with such joy and peace that I no longer no where I am.. the pain is gone.. the hurt and the guilt is no longer dragging behind me.. I feel totally elated.. this must be what heaven feels like.. but there is one thing missing.. Faith.. I know I have the Angel but she isn't Faith.. I am sure that if I go with her.. she will lead me here and then leave me.. The thought of living without Faith makes me feel empty inside, even though I feel like nothing can ever hurt me ever again.. I still wont have my Faith.. and that decision prompted my answer..
"I cant go with you Angel.. as much as you tempt me with your magick I cant go with you.. I am needed here... I need to be here for Faith.. I need her.. I need to BE with her.. I just cant stand by and be happy with just watching her.. I don't care how much pain I will face I don't care what hardships I will encounter.. as long as I have her then I will have the strength to live.."
The angel looks at me and nods her head..
"You have justified your reason for staying.. and it is a noble one.. I shall let you live.. besides the gatekeeper and your Bother was right.. it isn't your time to go... to return back to the world all you need to do is return to your body and breathe on your own.. only then will you return to your Faith.... look she wakes.. go return to her Maurice.."
I look at Faith and watch as her eyes flutter open.. slowly she sits up and then she looks at the doctors that are watching over me to make sure that taking me off life support wasn't a mistake.. she asks them what they are doing and then bursts into a new round of fresh tears and I hear her pray out loud to God, asking him to spare me.. to send me back to her because she needs me to stay.. she has so much she wants to tell me... I cant take it anymore.. I have to comfort her.. I look back at the Angel
"How do I get back to my body Angel?"
"Don't worry you will figure it out... just use your imagination.. you will get back to it soon..."
"Angel.. one more thing.. what is your name? I know that you are not my Faith although you look like her but I need to know your name.. because I cant keep calling you the Angel of Death all the time.."
She laughed at me... her voice musical and light.. filling me with elation as she places a hand on my shoulder..
"Maurice.. I came to you as an Angel of Death and you refused me.. you chose to live.. so now I exist as your Guardian Angel.. you can call me whatever name you please as whatever you call me know this.. I will always be looking over your shoulder.."
She pulls me into her embrace and I feel her wings fold protectively around me, and in a flash of white light she is gone...and I am left standing in the room facing Faith.. I cross the room in three strides and placing my hand on her shoulder I feel it pass though her but also I felt her pain.. I felt the pain and the loss.. and most of all I felt the fear that she had.. the fear that she would loose me before she had the chance to tell me what she wanted... Pulling my hand away I look at it and then I get what the Angel meant.. what she wanted me to do to come back to the living.. I now know what I have to do but for the moment I have to comfort my partner.. I don't know what I didn't think of this before..
Grabbing her by the waist I wrap my arms around her and step forward, letting myself fill her body as I possessed her soul, it was the weirdest feeling that I have ever felt.. in here I could read her thoughts.. I could feel what she felt..
"Oh God please don't take him from me.. I don't have a Family anymore... you already took that away from me when you allowed Fred to chase after that other woman.. please.. please don't take him too.. don't take my Bosco... give him the strength to breathe on his own..."
Her thoughts stop as if she knows that I am with her.. I try and reach out with my mind.. if I can read her thoughts than maybe she can read mine.. I need to let her know that I am here for her.. that I will never leave her.. that I love her.. that I cheated death to be with her...
"Faith... Faith I know you can hear me... Faith know this.. I have always been with you.. I will always be with you.." I touched her heart inside and using my hand I bought hers up to caress her cheek lovingly... "I love you Faith.. I will fight as hard as I possibly can to stay with you... as long as I have you I have strength to fight..."
I step forward as I leave her body.. my mind rips back to its own thoughts as I look at the broken body laying on the bed.. I have to go back to it now.. I am going back because I want to be with Faith forever.. when I am able to I am going to tell her everything.. that I love her.. that I don't ever want to be apart form her.. that I need her to be with me always...
Getting up on the bed I feel myself enter back into the body that I had vacated for a week.. instantly feeling the pressure of not being able to breathe.. and then taking control of what I know is happening, I force my lungs to work.. taking in a deep breath and pushing it out.. I hear my heart in my ears returning to its comfortable pace, slowly I open my eyes to look though them for the first time since the shooting.. around me I see the Doctors, watching, impressed with how well I am doing off of life support, and then I look to my left and there is Faith, tears of joy streaming down her face to see me awake...
"Bosco.." she breathes out a sigh of relief as I find the strength to extend my hand to her.. I want to let her know that I am not going anywhere anytime soon...She reaches forward and puts her arms over me in an embrace of relief and of joy.. and in her arms I found the peace and tranquility that I have been forgiven of everything... that I have been absolved of my wrongdoings by the only person in the world that matters more to me than life itself.. she pulls away and looks me in the eye and I see the love and understanding that I have come to know with her.. she leans in and kisses my forehead and whispers in my ear...
"I love you too Bos...."
I woke up to find two Doctors standing over Bosco's bed and I watched them turn off the Life support system.. I felt fear nail my feet to the floor as they watched the numbers fade away from the screen.. so I did the only thing that I could do.. I watched and I prayed... I prayed for the man that I have loved for so long.. for the man that I would die for.. for the man who might still die because he tried to save me..
For the past week it has been the same.. I wouldn't leave here for love nor money incase he woke up.. I slept in a cot beside his bed.. I used the shower upstairs.. when they kicked me out I just found a way to get back in and stay with him.. eventually they gave up, knowing that I would only come back and stay anyhow.. besides I wasn't harming anything.. and being near him.. listening to his wounded heart beating, echoed by the rhythmic beeping of the machines that kept him alive... it gave me a sense of comfort.. knowing that he was still fighting to stay here with me..
I remember praying when I felt a strange sensation.. it felt like for a moment part of the pain the I had felt disappeared when a hand was placed on my shoulder.. I look around but there is nobody there.. and then I felt it.. it was the feeling you get after sinking into a warm bath, or being hugged when you really needed it.... It was the best feeling in the world.. I felt all the hurt and the emotional pain I had been in leave my body and then I heard his voice..
"Faith... Faith I know you can hear me... Faith know this.. I have always been with you.. I will always be with you.."
I felt my hand move up and touch my cheek in a gentle caress that Bosco always had given me when he knew I was feeling down.. and I knew that it was him talking to me.. it was him inside my head..
"I love you Faith.. I will fight as hard as I possibly can to stay with you... as long as I have you I have strength to fight..."
His words echo in my head as I feel the warm feeling leaves my body... for the first time since this nightmare began I knew that he was going to be allright I move to the side of the bed and watch him, I let out a sob of relief when I see his chest rise and fall on its own.. he was breathing on his own again... I thank God and any other Deity that might have been listening to my plea...
"Bosco...." Hi name rolls off my tongue as the tears spill from my eyes and I lace my fingers in his hand and then with my other arm I lean forward and hug him.. its all I want to do.. I just want to hug him... I feel so relieved that he is back with me.. pulling back from the hug I look him in the eye and see that he is going to hold to the promise I heard echo in my head.. that he wasn't going to go anywhere.. so I lean over and kiss him on the forehead.. thankful to have him back and I utter the only words that I can find in my heart to say to him.. the three words that sum up every emotion that I have come to realize I had felt for years...
"I love you too Bos..."
I watch as the tear spills out from his eye and rolls down to the pillow and I wipe it away with my thumb as I pull the chair to the side of the bed happy to finally have him back with me.
"Bosco... Bosco come to me.. let yourself go Bosco..."
I look over in the corner and I see the familiar form of the Angel as she beckons to me.. I am finding it harder to resist her call... her visits are becoming less and less frequent now.. but the pull to come towards her hasn't lessened.. I still fell the uncontrollable urge to slide into her arms and loose myself to the embrace.. but then I look over at Faith asleep by my bedside.. keeping constant vigil over me, and I find the urge to give up the fight dissipitate, I try talking to the Angel but she just beckons me more.. I gave up asking her why she was here.. and that I wasn't going to go and to tell the Gatekeeper that I wasn't ready to leave and that I would fight with every ounce of strength in my body..
Two doctors come into the room and do their usual assessment of my condition, checking my wounds to see if they were healing properly, checking my medications to ensure I was getting the proper dosage of whatever I was getting.. they are careful to step over Faith who is slumbering softly by their feet in the little cot that they set up for her..
"I think its time to take him off of life support.. he seems to have been improving over the last week.. I think we should try him off of life support, see how he does.."
The other doctor nods and I watch the Angel in the corner smile, it isn't a smile of satisfaction but one of sympathy.. I don't know how to feel with her anymore.. she wont answer any of my questions.. I just deny her every time she comes to see me.. I have to stay with my real Faith..
I watch in horror as they turn off the vent to see if I would breathe on my own.. I feel a strange pull in my chest as the machine takes its last breath for me and I am left to do it on my own.. I fight with everything I have to take a breath on my own.. I feel my chest rise and fall as I fight to keep breathing I look over at the Angel and she walks over to where I stand, still fighting to breathe on my own
"You must make a choice Bosco... you must either choose to come with me and I will show you happiness beyond anything that you have ever experienced.. or you can choose to live the rest of your days.... What shall it be?"
I am instantly filled with such joy and peace that I no longer no where I am.. the pain is gone.. the hurt and the guilt is no longer dragging behind me.. I feel totally elated.. this must be what heaven feels like.. but there is one thing missing.. Faith.. I know I have the Angel but she isn't Faith.. I am sure that if I go with her.. she will lead me here and then leave me.. The thought of living without Faith makes me feel empty inside, even though I feel like nothing can ever hurt me ever again.. I still wont have my Faith.. and that decision prompted my answer..
"I cant go with you Angel.. as much as you tempt me with your magick I cant go with you.. I am needed here... I need to be here for Faith.. I need her.. I need to BE with her.. I just cant stand by and be happy with just watching her.. I don't care how much pain I will face I don't care what hardships I will encounter.. as long as I have her then I will have the strength to live.."
The angel looks at me and nods her head..
"You have justified your reason for staying.. and it is a noble one.. I shall let you live.. besides the gatekeeper and your Bother was right.. it isn't your time to go... to return back to the world all you need to do is return to your body and breathe on your own.. only then will you return to your Faith.... look she wakes.. go return to her Maurice.."
I look at Faith and watch as her eyes flutter open.. slowly she sits up and then she looks at the doctors that are watching over me to make sure that taking me off life support wasn't a mistake.. she asks them what they are doing and then bursts into a new round of fresh tears and I hear her pray out loud to God, asking him to spare me.. to send me back to her because she needs me to stay.. she has so much she wants to tell me... I cant take it anymore.. I have to comfort her.. I look back at the Angel
"How do I get back to my body Angel?"
"Don't worry you will figure it out... just use your imagination.. you will get back to it soon..."
"Angel.. one more thing.. what is your name? I know that you are not my Faith although you look like her but I need to know your name.. because I cant keep calling you the Angel of Death all the time.."
She laughed at me... her voice musical and light.. filling me with elation as she places a hand on my shoulder..
"Maurice.. I came to you as an Angel of Death and you refused me.. you chose to live.. so now I exist as your Guardian Angel.. you can call me whatever name you please as whatever you call me know this.. I will always be looking over your shoulder.."
She pulls me into her embrace and I feel her wings fold protectively around me, and in a flash of white light she is gone...and I am left standing in the room facing Faith.. I cross the room in three strides and placing my hand on her shoulder I feel it pass though her but also I felt her pain.. I felt the pain and the loss.. and most of all I felt the fear that she had.. the fear that she would loose me before she had the chance to tell me what she wanted... Pulling my hand away I look at it and then I get what the Angel meant.. what she wanted me to do to come back to the living.. I now know what I have to do but for the moment I have to comfort my partner.. I don't know what I didn't think of this before..
Grabbing her by the waist I wrap my arms around her and step forward, letting myself fill her body as I possessed her soul, it was the weirdest feeling that I have ever felt.. in here I could read her thoughts.. I could feel what she felt..
"Oh God please don't take him from me.. I don't have a Family anymore... you already took that away from me when you allowed Fred to chase after that other woman.. please.. please don't take him too.. don't take my Bosco... give him the strength to breathe on his own..."
Her thoughts stop as if she knows that I am with her.. I try and reach out with my mind.. if I can read her thoughts than maybe she can read mine.. I need to let her know that I am here for her.. that I will never leave her.. that I love her.. that I cheated death to be with her...
"Faith... Faith I know you can hear me... Faith know this.. I have always been with you.. I will always be with you.." I touched her heart inside and using my hand I bought hers up to caress her cheek lovingly... "I love you Faith.. I will fight as hard as I possibly can to stay with you... as long as I have you I have strength to fight..."
I step forward as I leave her body.. my mind rips back to its own thoughts as I look at the broken body laying on the bed.. I have to go back to it now.. I am going back because I want to be with Faith forever.. when I am able to I am going to tell her everything.. that I love her.. that I don't ever want to be apart form her.. that I need her to be with me always...
Getting up on the bed I feel myself enter back into the body that I had vacated for a week.. instantly feeling the pressure of not being able to breathe.. and then taking control of what I know is happening, I force my lungs to work.. taking in a deep breath and pushing it out.. I hear my heart in my ears returning to its comfortable pace, slowly I open my eyes to look though them for the first time since the shooting.. around me I see the Doctors, watching, impressed with how well I am doing off of life support, and then I look to my left and there is Faith, tears of joy streaming down her face to see me awake...
"Bosco.." she breathes out a sigh of relief as I find the strength to extend my hand to her.. I want to let her know that I am not going anywhere anytime soon...She reaches forward and puts her arms over me in an embrace of relief and of joy.. and in her arms I found the peace and tranquility that I have been forgiven of everything... that I have been absolved of my wrongdoings by the only person in the world that matters more to me than life itself.. she pulls away and looks me in the eye and I see the love and understanding that I have come to know with her.. she leans in and kisses my forehead and whispers in my ear...
"I love you too Bos...."
I woke up to find two Doctors standing over Bosco's bed and I watched them turn off the Life support system.. I felt fear nail my feet to the floor as they watched the numbers fade away from the screen.. so I did the only thing that I could do.. I watched and I prayed... I prayed for the man that I have loved for so long.. for the man that I would die for.. for the man who might still die because he tried to save me..
For the past week it has been the same.. I wouldn't leave here for love nor money incase he woke up.. I slept in a cot beside his bed.. I used the shower upstairs.. when they kicked me out I just found a way to get back in and stay with him.. eventually they gave up, knowing that I would only come back and stay anyhow.. besides I wasn't harming anything.. and being near him.. listening to his wounded heart beating, echoed by the rhythmic beeping of the machines that kept him alive... it gave me a sense of comfort.. knowing that he was still fighting to stay here with me..
I remember praying when I felt a strange sensation.. it felt like for a moment part of the pain the I had felt disappeared when a hand was placed on my shoulder.. I look around but there is nobody there.. and then I felt it.. it was the feeling you get after sinking into a warm bath, or being hugged when you really needed it.... It was the best feeling in the world.. I felt all the hurt and the emotional pain I had been in leave my body and then I heard his voice..
"Faith... Faith I know you can hear me... Faith know this.. I have always been with you.. I will always be with you.."
I felt my hand move up and touch my cheek in a gentle caress that Bosco always had given me when he knew I was feeling down.. and I knew that it was him talking to me.. it was him inside my head..
"I love you Faith.. I will fight as hard as I possibly can to stay with you... as long as I have you I have strength to fight..."
His words echo in my head as I feel the warm feeling leaves my body... for the first time since this nightmare began I knew that he was going to be allright I move to the side of the bed and watch him, I let out a sob of relief when I see his chest rise and fall on its own.. he was breathing on his own again... I thank God and any other Deity that might have been listening to my plea...
"Bosco...." Hi name rolls off my tongue as the tears spill from my eyes and I lace my fingers in his hand and then with my other arm I lean forward and hug him.. its all I want to do.. I just want to hug him... I feel so relieved that he is back with me.. pulling back from the hug I look him in the eye and see that he is going to hold to the promise I heard echo in my head.. that he wasn't going to go anywhere.. so I lean over and kiss him on the forehead.. thankful to have him back and I utter the only words that I can find in my heart to say to him.. the three words that sum up every emotion that I have come to realize I had felt for years...
"I love you too Bos..."
I watch as the tear spills out from his eye and rolls down to the pillow and I wipe it away with my thumb as I pull the chair to the side of the bed happy to finally have him back with me.